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Cinderella and Prince Charming had just enjoyed the most wonderfully romantic honeymoon. They had ridden white horses together on the beach. They had stayed up until midnight each evening staring at the stars. Cinderella knew it was all thanks to her friend Princess Pea, who was awaiting their return at the palace. And on that day where Cinderella and her prince returned to the kingdom in their carriage, Cinderella was quickly reminded that even happily ever after has a few kinks.
"CINDERELLA!" Princess Pea screamed. "Okay, don't be mad but while you were gone I flooded your bathroom!"
"Oh dear, is that all?"
"Yes..." Princess Pea lied. "Okay, no. The water seeped through the ceiling and the debris landed on the king's statue on the floor below."
"Gosh, well, can the statue be replaced?"
"Of course!" Pea lied. "Okay, not really...you see it was hand-carved by some artist from a foreign land. It was the king's most valuable possesion...which to me is a little pathetic. In my kingdom back home, we had ten statues per corridor that were all much higher in value. So Cindy, I hope your hubby's good in bed because his castle is a tad on the cheap side. It only has twenty-eight ballrooms!"
"You're mean," said Prince Charming sulkily. He walked inside.
"So how was the vacay, Cindy?" asked Pea, signaling Cinderella to sit with her on a bench. "Tell me everything."
"It was really romantic," Cinderella said dreamily, "we went horseback-"
"I'm bored, wanna hear what happened to me while you were gone?"
"Sure," said Cinderella struggling to maintain her sweet nature.
"Well, these little rats started yelling 'Where's Cinderellie' at me so I tried to hit them with a broom but they escaped. Don't worry though, I called an exterminator."
"Oh no! Jaq! Gus!" Cinderella ran into the kingdom.
"Geez, maybe she had a bad experience with the exterminator as a child..." Pea considered aloud.
That night, Princess Pea brushed her teeth and headed to her guest bedroom. While she was on her way down the hall, she overheard the king talking to Cinderella.
"Get that girl out of here!" said the king. "She has done nothing but cause trouble since she arrived!"
"But she's my friend, your highness," replied Cinderella. "I know she can be a little up-front but she has a good heart."
It suddenly occured to Peanalita that she was ruining Cinderella's happy ending. She ran to her room and threw herself onto the bed in tears, much like every other princess has at some point.
"Don't lose faith, child," said a voice.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Pea when she realized there was a chubby old woman in a cloak sitting on the end of the bed. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Cinderella's fairy godmother...but I thought you could use a hand. Or rather...a magic wand."
"You mean, you can do magic? Oh! Make me look like Jessica Alba!"
"I'm afraid my magic doesn't work that way," replied the woman. "I can only do magic that comes from the heart."
"What kind of fairy godmother are you? You're good for nothing except Twinkie Eating Contests..." remarked Pea. "You know what? I'm out of here. I'll visit Cindy in a few months when her happily ever after has faded a bit and she realizes I'm more fun to hang out with than that husband of hers who has less personality than a wet sock! Give me that wand!" Princess Pea snatched the wand.
"Princess Pea, be careful!" warned the Fairy Godmother. "My wand interprets everything you wish for literally!"
"Can it, Granny," said Pea. She pointed the wand at herself. "Take me to a kingdom with a sexy bachelor prince...a beautiful kingdom that will completely take my breath away. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!"
Suddenly, glitter and magic dust circled Princess Pea. It transported her through a swirl of rainbow colours...suddenly she found herself in what she'd asked for...a place that took her breath away. Unfortunately for Pea, she'd never learned how to swim.

(End Of Part 8)
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