A/N#1: Well this Chapter 6 and I really don't know where this chapter
is going to go....so I will see where it takes itself.
Chapter 6:
"Why do you think they let us go?" I heard Adam ask from beside
me as we walked over branches and bushes, we were nearing the
town.
Stopping completly and leaning against a tree I looked at him for
awhile trying to come up with an answer.
"The Honest truth is that I really don't know why he let us go, but
we now probably created a war" This scared me, what would my parents
think hearing that I had been kidnapped by Natives on the day of
my arrival because I had snuck out.
"Maybe not, if we lie" Now I had to roll my eyes at the idea of that,
we smelt of firewood and forest pine, and we didnt look bad enough
to say we had been mauled by any animals or that we got lost.
"That would never work, your a terrible liar and you know that
yourself" He looked down in shame remembering the lies he had
told the chief. Turning away I began walking again at a steady pace.
We remained silent on the way back to Jamestown, neither of us
wanting to say a word, we were to caught up in our own thoughts
to be disturbed.
The sun was up now, and I knew that people had realized we were
missing. It was well past breakfast and they had taken us a little farther
then I originally thought.
Upon arrival we saw several men gathered outside of the main
gate that had been last night guarded by soldiers.
"Do you think the Indians took them?" An older man with black hair
asked as I stood behind a tree quietly watching, Adam did the same.
"Well ofcourse, stealing to young ones is something they would
pull!" Another excalimed while some men shook their heads in dissagreement
and some in agreement.
Deciding it was time to make our presence known I walked out from
behing the tree trunk walking with my head held high, until I snapped
a twig.
"Who goes there?!" A man asked while holding a gun pointed straight
towards me, raising my hands up in mock surrender I gave him a wry
smile.
"Go ahead shot me, my father would have your head" I told him as
they all calmed but gawked at Adam and I, ripped clothing and bloody.
"We have been looking all over for you two! Where have you been?"
A guard asked with brown hair slightly covering his eyes, I could tell
that he had been up all night by the dark circles under his eyes.
Looking at Adam I decided I would have to be the one to do the
talking. "We went out to explore and we did get captured by the
Natives" I was trying to tell my story as calmly as possible, I didn't want
to anger these men who would probably stomp off to the village with
their guns and threaten the individuals.
"What?! And you escaped! Smith's daughter after all!" One of the older
men with red hair down to his shoulders exclaimed with humor and awe.
"No...I didn't escape...We were released" I explained to them as their
smiles went back to frowns.
"Let you go? But why?" The same man said in disbelief.
"I dont know" I walked past them toward the opening, I wanted to get
clean. "Adam, tell them the rest theres some things I must do" He merely
nodded at me then began telling a play by play of what had happened.
Entering Jamestown I could see that everything was bustling, carts
were being pulled, people were running around finishing up their morning
duties, but when they saw me...they stopped.
Making my way through the wide eyes, and open mouth stares I
walked up to the cabin I was staying in and knocked gently.
"I'm telling you Linda I have to join the group to go find..." Were the
first words I heard as the door opened to reveal a distraught looking
Thomas, a gun in hand.
He looked at me for a few seconds before taking me by the shoulder and
nearly pushing me inside the house.
"Child what happened to you?! The towns been a madhouse ever since you
and that boy went missing!" Linda excalimed coming over to me a wet wash
cloth already in hand.
"Ummm...I decided to explore around the wall...and then Adam admitted
to following me and then we were captured by an Indian tribe..." The
story sounded so fake, even to me who had just lived through it a mere
couple of hours ago.
"Indian Tribe!" Thomas exclaimed his face shocked and mouth opened, "Why
would they take you?! Tensions havnt been that bad!"
"I was carrying a sword" I answered looking at the floor anywhere
but from the faces of the two people in front of me.
"Elizabeth...how did you get away?" He asked curiously stepping closer
to me while Linda stood with the cloth still in her hand.
"They let me go..." I whispered remembering the chief's face when
we were leaving. A look of pride, and of great sadness all mixed into
one.
"Why?" Linda spoke up while Thomas wrapped his arm around her.
"I don't know....we were tied up in a hut, the chief walked in angry at
us. Adam tried to lie but the chief saw through him and asked him
his name, then he asked mine...and then who my parents were. Then
he let me go..." The scene had played out so strangly to me, I didn't
quite understand why I had been freed.
Both Linda and Thomas's eyes grew big, then Thomas sighed.
"Get cleaned up, we will discuss this later" He was about to turn away
from me when all of a sudden I reached out and grabbed the gun from his
hand. He looked at me shocked.
"Sorry...I promised my father I wouldn't let you hold a gun" Thomas
grinned at this and shook his head.
"Smith never lets up on me!" I had to laugh at that, I always heard some
pretty interesting stories about Thomas.
"Wheres Cecily?" I asked curiously looking around the house for my
sister.
"She went out with the others to find you" Linda replied taking the wash
cloth in her hands and applying it to my mud splattered face, when she
touched my forehead it burned a bit and I jumped.
"Elizabeth...you have a very deep cut on your forehead, where is
it from?" I remembered back to when I was being dragged, in the middle
of the struggled my head whipped passed a branch and I could tell it
had cut me.
"Hit by a branch" I explained to her, she just looked at me with concerned eyes
then sighed.
"Go clean up a bit, I believe the doctor will have to look at the scratch" I gladly
agreed to this, showering and grabbing a new dress out of my closet.
Looking outside my window I saw the same group of men gathered now
in the middle of town, with a few onlookers.
Adam was standing in the middle of it all telling everyone of what had
happened last night. I didn't want to relive the event.
Two men walked passed my window deep in conversation.
"So what do you think about this?" The grey haired skinny man
asked the guy beside him.
"That Smith and his wife need to get here fast, something's brewing" His blonde
haired friend replied squinting his eyes and shuffling his feet a bit faster.
What could that mean? Had I really caused all of this? What was the
reason that my parent's needed to get here faster? Why did all these
people think we were so invincible...
I couldn't wait for when my parents arrived so that I could gain some
of the answers that I think I deserve to know.
A/N#2: Thoughts? Suggestions?
is going to go....so I will see where it takes itself.
Chapter 6:
"Why do you think they let us go?" I heard Adam ask from beside
me as we walked over branches and bushes, we were nearing the
town.
Stopping completly and leaning against a tree I looked at him for
awhile trying to come up with an answer.
"The Honest truth is that I really don't know why he let us go, but
we now probably created a war" This scared me, what would my parents
think hearing that I had been kidnapped by Natives on the day of
my arrival because I had snuck out.
"Maybe not, if we lie" Now I had to roll my eyes at the idea of that,
we smelt of firewood and forest pine, and we didnt look bad enough
to say we had been mauled by any animals or that we got lost.
"That would never work, your a terrible liar and you know that
yourself" He looked down in shame remembering the lies he had
told the chief. Turning away I began walking again at a steady pace.
We remained silent on the way back to Jamestown, neither of us
wanting to say a word, we were to caught up in our own thoughts
to be disturbed.
The sun was up now, and I knew that people had realized we were
missing. It was well past breakfast and they had taken us a little farther
then I originally thought.
Upon arrival we saw several men gathered outside of the main
gate that had been last night guarded by soldiers.
"Do you think the Indians took them?" An older man with black hair
asked as I stood behind a tree quietly watching, Adam did the same.
"Well ofcourse, stealing to young ones is something they would
pull!" Another excalimed while some men shook their heads in dissagreement
and some in agreement.
Deciding it was time to make our presence known I walked out from
behing the tree trunk walking with my head held high, until I snapped
a twig.
"Who goes there?!" A man asked while holding a gun pointed straight
towards me, raising my hands up in mock surrender I gave him a wry
smile.
"Go ahead shot me, my father would have your head" I told him as
they all calmed but gawked at Adam and I, ripped clothing and bloody.
"We have been looking all over for you two! Where have you been?"
A guard asked with brown hair slightly covering his eyes, I could tell
that he had been up all night by the dark circles under his eyes.
Looking at Adam I decided I would have to be the one to do the
talking. "We went out to explore and we did get captured by the
Natives" I was trying to tell my story as calmly as possible, I didn't want
to anger these men who would probably stomp off to the village with
their guns and threaten the individuals.
"What?! And you escaped! Smith's daughter after all!" One of the older
men with red hair down to his shoulders exclaimed with humor and awe.
"No...I didn't escape...We were released" I explained to them as their
smiles went back to frowns.
"Let you go? But why?" The same man said in disbelief.
"I dont know" I walked past them toward the opening, I wanted to get
clean. "Adam, tell them the rest theres some things I must do" He merely
nodded at me then began telling a play by play of what had happened.
Entering Jamestown I could see that everything was bustling, carts
were being pulled, people were running around finishing up their morning
duties, but when they saw me...they stopped.
Making my way through the wide eyes, and open mouth stares I
walked up to the cabin I was staying in and knocked gently.
"I'm telling you Linda I have to join the group to go find..." Were the
first words I heard as the door opened to reveal a distraught looking
Thomas, a gun in hand.
He looked at me for a few seconds before taking me by the shoulder and
nearly pushing me inside the house.
"Child what happened to you?! The towns been a madhouse ever since you
and that boy went missing!" Linda excalimed coming over to me a wet wash
cloth already in hand.
"Ummm...I decided to explore around the wall...and then Adam admitted
to following me and then we were captured by an Indian tribe..." The
story sounded so fake, even to me who had just lived through it a mere
couple of hours ago.
"Indian Tribe!" Thomas exclaimed his face shocked and mouth opened, "Why
would they take you?! Tensions havnt been that bad!"
"I was carrying a sword" I answered looking at the floor anywhere
but from the faces of the two people in front of me.
"Elizabeth...how did you get away?" He asked curiously stepping closer
to me while Linda stood with the cloth still in her hand.
"They let me go..." I whispered remembering the chief's face when
we were leaving. A look of pride, and of great sadness all mixed into
one.
"Why?" Linda spoke up while Thomas wrapped his arm around her.
"I don't know....we were tied up in a hut, the chief walked in angry at
us. Adam tried to lie but the chief saw through him and asked him
his name, then he asked mine...and then who my parents were. Then
he let me go..." The scene had played out so strangly to me, I didn't
quite understand why I had been freed.
Both Linda and Thomas's eyes grew big, then Thomas sighed.
"Get cleaned up, we will discuss this later" He was about to turn away
from me when all of a sudden I reached out and grabbed the gun from his
hand. He looked at me shocked.
"Sorry...I promised my father I wouldn't let you hold a gun" Thomas
grinned at this and shook his head.
"Smith never lets up on me!" I had to laugh at that, I always heard some
pretty interesting stories about Thomas.
"Wheres Cecily?" I asked curiously looking around the house for my
sister.
"She went out with the others to find you" Linda replied taking the wash
cloth in her hands and applying it to my mud splattered face, when she
touched my forehead it burned a bit and I jumped.
"Elizabeth...you have a very deep cut on your forehead, where is
it from?" I remembered back to when I was being dragged, in the middle
of the struggled my head whipped passed a branch and I could tell it
had cut me.
"Hit by a branch" I explained to her, she just looked at me with concerned eyes
then sighed.
"Go clean up a bit, I believe the doctor will have to look at the scratch" I gladly
agreed to this, showering and grabbing a new dress out of my closet.
Looking outside my window I saw the same group of men gathered now
in the middle of town, with a few onlookers.
Adam was standing in the middle of it all telling everyone of what had
happened last night. I didn't want to relive the event.
Two men walked passed my window deep in conversation.
"So what do you think about this?" The grey haired skinny man
asked the guy beside him.
"That Smith and his wife need to get here fast, something's brewing" His blonde
haired friend replied squinting his eyes and shuffling his feet a bit faster.
What could that mean? Had I really caused all of this? What was the
reason that my parent's needed to get here faster? Why did all these
people think we were so invincible...
I couldn't wait for when my parents arrived so that I could gain some
of the answers that I think I deserve to know.
A/N#2: Thoughts? Suggestions?
Team 1989?
7th Place
7) Bejewelled Princess Dress
This dress is over-the-top! She is not the type of princess who would appreciate being decorated like a Christmas tree and then find that she cannot walk without feeling the heaviness of weight pulling her down. It doesn't suit her at all.
6) Makeover glittery and patterned dress
This is better than the last one but still over-the top. This time it's the gold patterns on the skirt. There's too many patterns. The bodice part is more. subtle with a singular pattern on the side. I like that. But the shiny blue sleeves are distracting. Too shiny. Her headband is...
continue reading...
This dress is over-the-top! She is not the type of princess who would appreciate being decorated like a Christmas tree and then find that she cannot walk without feeling the heaviness of weight pulling her down. It doesn't suit her at all.
6) Makeover glittery and patterned dress
This is better than the last one but still over-the top. This time it's the gold patterns on the skirt. There's too many patterns. The bodice part is more. subtle with a singular pattern on the side. I like that. But the shiny blue sleeves are distracting. Too shiny. Her headband is...
I'm not strictly doing these in chronological order, it's just a coincidence that I chose Ariel next. You might think Ariel isn't a Mary Sue because of her obvious flaws that a lot people hate her for, but I think she still could be. Mary Sues can have flaws (hence why that trait doesn't just say "No flaws" and nothing else). So let's see.
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- Sort of. Red hair is common enough, but her shade of red definitely isn't. .5
An odd name- Sort of. 'Ariel' is common enough by mermaid standards, but she's the only one of her siblings with a name not ending...
continue reading...
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- Sort of. Red hair is common enough, but her shade of red definitely isn't. .5
An odd name- Sort of. 'Ariel' is common enough by mermaid standards, but she's the only one of her siblings with a name not ending...
Wow, I'm on a role with these tests. I look up clips from the movies for these (though I don't have enough patience to watch the full movies, just the parts relating to the traits). I found the whole of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves on Youtube...presumably. It was just a cut and edited version of the movie played multiple times to make it look like the full movie. Still, it gave me enough information.
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- No. Her "hair as black as ebony" and brown eyes are common.
An odd name- Yes. 'Snow White' isn't a name you'd find in anyone in real life, or...
continue reading...
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- No. Her "hair as black as ebony" and brown eyes are common.
An odd name- Yes. 'Snow White' isn't a name you'd find in anyone in real life, or...
After doing the more modern princesses, I switched to the classics, who are accused of being Mary Sues a lot. (I might not do ones for Merida and Tiana, since they pretty obviously aren't Mary Sues). Starting with Cinderella.
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- No. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, common traits.
An odd name- Yes. It'd make sense if it was explained Cinderella was a nickname and her real name is Ella, like in some versions, but it isn't in the film. 1.
Looks constantly commented on- Yes. Cinderella is described as beautiful, and the prince considers her the most...
continue reading...
Unique traits without contacts or hair dye- No. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, common traits.
An odd name- Yes. It'd make sense if it was explained Cinderella was a nickname and her real name is Ella, like in some versions, but it isn't in the film. 1.
Looks constantly commented on- Yes. Cinderella is described as beautiful, and the prince considers her the most...
Her eyes are violet in this pic, but what about the scene she woke up from sleeping? She had blue eyes. And what about the scene she was dancing? She had black eyes.
