Song: link
Kevin: This is it! The moment we've all been waiting for! Who's faster?! Johnny Lightning, or Sean, the Amtrak F40PH?!
Johnny: *Revving his car's engine*
S.B: *Holding a flashlight. He shines it*
Sean: *Takes off with seven Amfleets in tow*
Johnny: *Quickly accelerates to 35 miles an hour*
Sean: Give me more power!! *Uncouples an Amfleet and goes up to 75 miles an hour*
Johnny: WHAT?!?!
Sean: *Crosses the finish line first*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Kevin: There you have it. A talking train can beat a car just by shouting while uncoupling one of his cars. Now let's watch The Legend Of Zelda: I Can't CDI, and Ponies On The Rails.
Link: *At the castle* Gee. It sure is boring around here.
King: Mah boi. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: *Arrives on a flying carpet* Your majesty, Ganon, and his minions have ceased the island of Koridai.
King: Hmm. How can we help?
Gwonam: It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: There is no time. Your sword is all your need.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: *Face palm* Please tell me that someone can defeat Ganon besides this retard.
Link: *Using a sword to pick his nose* I think I got something.
King: What about Zelda?
Gwonam: Yes. Let's get her immediately.
Zelda was in a different part of the castle watching a TV show called The Traitor.
Guard: Here's the traitor your majesty.
Mario: You know what they say. All toasters, toast toast.
King: Take him away.
Gwonam: *Arrives* Zelda, the king wants you to go to Koridai to defeat Ganon.
Zelda: I'm on it. *Leaves the castle with Gwonam*
Gwonam: Squadala! We're off!
Zelda: Where is Ganon hiding in this island?
Gwonam: You must check one of the mountains that have evil faces on it.
Zelda: Okay.
They lower the carpet to a mountain, and Zelda goes into the mountain with a lantern.
Ganon: *Sees the lantern, and gets angry* You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!!! *Attacks Zelda with lightning*
Zelda: *Knocked out, and lays on the ground*
Ganon: Hahahahahahhahaha!!!!
Gwonam: *Waiting on the carpet* Any moment now, she will return.
But she wasn't returning. Ganon locked her in a cage.
Zelda: Is there a bathroom I can use?
Ganon: I do not trust you to go to any bathrooms in this area.
Zelda: But I really have to go badly!
Ganon: You should have done that before coming here to fight me.
Zelda: *Poops her pants*
Ganon: *Smells Zelda* Damn girl, what's the matter with you?
Gwonam: *Checks his clock, and leaves* I must get the king. He must save Zelda.
Meanwhile, in the castle
Link: *At the castle* Gee. It sure is boring around here.
King: Mah boi. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: *Arrives on a flying carpet* Your majesty, Ganon, and his minions have ceased the island of Koridai.
King: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Didn't we already do this?
Gwonam: Oh, right. *Goes backwards*
King: What the hell is he doing?
Gwonam: *Returns on his carpet looking terrified* Your majesty, Princess Zelda was kidnapped by Ganon!
King: Hmmm. *Thinking about Burger King* I wonder what's for dinner.
Link: Oh boy. I'm so hungry, I could eat a-
Robotnik: Pingas!
Link: Who said that?
Robotnik: *Appears from nowhere* Pingas!
Gwonam: How can you think about that at a time like this? We must save Zelda.
King: I'm sure she'll be fine.
But she wasn't.
Zelda: *Chained to a bed*
Ganon: You will be in a never ending sleep. Once I ring this gong, you will stay asleep forever. The only thing that will wake you up is if the gong is rung again. *Rings the gong*
Zelda: *Falls asleep*
Ganon: Now this way, we won't have to worry about her shitting in her pants again.
Zelda: *Poops her pants*
Ganon: OH COME ON!!!!!!!!!!
Back at the castle.
Gwonam: Link, after seeing that the others do not care for Zelda, you must come with me to Koridai to rescue her.
They leave on Gwonam's flying carpet.
Gwonam: Squadala. We're off!
Link: Wow. What are all those heads?
Gwonam: These are the faces of evil. You must search them in order to save Zelda. Do you understand your task?
Link: Nope. All I care about is getting Zelda to kiss me.
Gwonam: You've got to be kidding.
Link: That's exactly what she said.
Gwonam: Go find her!
Link: Guess I better get going.
Gwonam: You think?
Link idiotically entered a shop, thinking it was one of the faces of evil.
Shop Keeper: Lamp oil. Rope. Bombs. You want it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: *Terrified*
Shop Keeper: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: Why are you making that noise?
Shop Keeper: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: *Runs out of the shop, and goes into a face of evil*
Ganon: Join me Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai. Or else you will die.
Link: *Finds a book* Oh boy.
Apparently, books are powerful. Well, that actually makes sense since some people write in them with pens. You know what they say-
Mario: All toasters toast toast.
No, I was going to say, the pen is mightier then the sword. You ruined a perfectly good joke.
Link: *Raises the book*
Ganon: No! Not into the pit! It buuurns!!!
Link: *Throws the book into Ganon's face* Oh boy! *Takes a picture of Ganon in the book, and posts it on facebook*
Zelda was still sleeping when...
Link: *Rings the gong*
Zelda: *Wakes up* Why'd you do that?
Link: I just saved you from Ganon.
Zelda: You did not.
Link: *Sniffs the air* What's that horrible smell?
Zelda: *Nervous*
Gwonam: *Arrives* Well done Link. You have saved the day.
They all get on the carpet, and fly away from Koridai.
Gwonam: Everything is peaceful again. The birds are singing, oh wait, they've always been doing that. Anyway, Ganon is defeated.
Link: I guess that's worth a kiss.
Zelda: Ha!
Link: I won!
The End
---
Theme song: link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 44
A Letter To Applewood
July 20, 1955
Hawkeye, and Stylo were waiting for a train to arrive, so that they could take it to Laramie. Then, Pete arrived with a letter.
Pete: Take a look at this.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Pete: It's a letter from Louis Bodine. The therapist that was visiting us last year.
Stylo: Oh yeah. Didn't you say his nickname was The British Mexican?
Pete: Yes I did. Listen, he said he was going to come visit us, and-
Louis: *Arrives* Hello.
Pete: Hi.
Hawkeye: It's nice to see you Louie.
Louis: Thanks Pierce. And how are you Stylo?
Stylo: I can't complain. Things are really good today.
Louis: Nice to hear.
Metal Gloss: *Blowing whistle on train*
Pete: There's a passenger train coming. You two will have to take it.
Hawkeye: We can do it. Right Stylo?
Stylo: Right.
Metal Gloss: *Stops train*
Hawkeye: Hello my love.
Metal Gloss: Hi Pierce. *Climbs out of engine*
Hawkeye: Me, and Stylo are taking over for you.
Metal Gloss: Thank you. *Kisses Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: We will see you later, when the job is done.
Metal Gloss: Okay.
Hawkeye, and Stylo: *Climb into engine*
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
While the train was leaving, Louis decided to write a letter.
Dear Clint Eastwood,
It's me, Louis Bodine. I haven't heard from you in a while, but I did get to see you in a movie. Congratulations. I'm writing to you from a train station in Cheyenne Wyoming. It's part of the Union Pacific line, and the ponies that work here are superb. They're all nice. Pierce Hawkins, or Hawkeye is one of the engineers.
A few days ago, he was trying to help somepony, but he got angry at him for that.
Gordon: *Cleaning station* Why do I have to sweep the floor, when I should be driving a train?!
Hawkeye: *Watching Gordon carelessly clean* Gordon, you're supposed to get all of the dust, you're leaving some of it on the floor.
Gordon: Who asked for you to make fun of me?!
Hawkeye: Alright, fine. Do it the wrong way. Or better yet, let me do it.
Gordon: *Puts broom down* You want to do it instead of me?
Hawkeye: Well, somepony has to do it, and it obviously ain't you.
Pete: *Arrives* Gordon, stop bothering Pierce, and get back to work. We want this station to look nice before the passengers arrive.
Gordon: I wasn't bothering him! He wanted to take over for me!
Pete: Really?
Hawkeye: Help him? Why should I do that, when he called me an asshole?
Pete: That's it Gordon, you're going home for the rest of the day.
Gordon: NO! I want to work!
Pete: Not with that behavior, you won't.
Gordon: Why?!!!?
Not a bright pony. Not bright at all.
Louis continued writing his letter to another pony named Clint Eastwood.
You would be great friends with Stylo. He was once a worker on the Southern Pacific Railway, before coming to join the Union Pacific. He's a very nice pony, and is also good at his job. I remember Hawkeye telling me about how he managed to get a heavy freight over Sherman Hill, which is much harder then it sounds. He had three diesels pulling the train, and was low on sand.
Stylo: Orion, we're low on sand.
Orion: Oh, don't worry, I know.
Stylo: You knew this entire time, and you didn't even tell me?!
Orion: Yeah. I used most of the sand to make a sand castle.
Stylo: ..Where exactly did you make this sand castle?
In Pete's office.
Pete: *Looking at desk* I'll never understand how Orion keeps doing all these crazy things.
Back to the freight train.
Stylo: Oh. I see. Well, that's okay. There's some sand over there. Take over, and keep this thing going at five miles an hour. Do not go faster then that.
Orion: You got it.
Stylo: *Jumps out of train, and picks up sand* Now, I got to get this into the sander, and we should have enough, just in case we get wheel spin. *Flies towards top of engine* Where is that sander?
Orion: Everything okay up there?
Stylo: Yeah, just looking for the sander. Get her up to 10.
Orion: I got it. *Driving train at 10 miles an hour*
Stylo: *Finds sander* There it is. *Puts sand in sander* How is everything?
Orion: No wheelslip so far.
Stylo: Good, let's keep it that way. *Gets back in cab*
You're probably wondering why Orion took out the sand from that engine. Well, I'll be more than happy to tell you. You see, most of his jobs kept getting switched around, too early in his opinion. So, he tries to get fired, because he thinks that if he quits, the government will kill him.
Orion: *Sees Percy, and Jeff fixing track by the station* Can I ask you two something?
Percy: Sure.
Jeff: Go ahead.
Orion: Can I get fired for damaging the track?
Jeff: By accident, or on purpose?
Orion: On purpose.
Jeff: Wait here, and let me talk to Percy. *Walks with Percy from Orion, and whispers* I think Orion has finally lost it.
Percy: I know. He wants to get fired so badly, that he'll endanger everypony's lives.
Jeff: Let's tell him a lie.
Percy: With pleasure. *Walks back to Orion with Jeff*
Orion: Well?
Percy: You can't get fired for damaging the track on purpose.
Orion: Aw man. Well, I'm gonna do it anyway. *Takes hammer*
Jeff: Oh no.
Orion: *Taking spikes out of tracks*
Percy: Stop him!
Jeff: What can we do?
Orion: *Taking more spikes out of the rails*
Pete: *On loudspeaker* Attention, everypony. The next passenger train will be stppping here in 30 seconds, and is heading Eastbound for Council Bluffs Iowa.
Orion: Perfect timing.
I think you know what happened after that. The train crashed, but Orion didn't get fired surprisingly. Pete tries his best to change Orion's mind on getting fired, and will help that crazy bastard do anything.
So far, Louis wrote his letter about Hawkeye, Stylo, and Orion. Now he was writing about the rest of the ponies he knew.
Percy, and Jeff don't talk much, but they get their jobs done very well. They fix track, you see? And nopony has done a better job then those two so far. They could even fix the track during an earthquake, but you'll never believe what they did yesterday. Those two had to get a freight car back on the tracks, and they did it with stones. Here's what happened.
Metal Gloss: *Looking at derailed car* This is not good.
Percy: It's nothing serious. Watch, you get back in your engine, drive slowly, and we'll get the car back on the tracks.
Metal Gloss: How?
Jeff: Well, look at the wheels. Although they are derailed, they are on the ballast, right next to the rails. We just need to get a few stones, and make some kind of a small hump for those wheels to get back on the tracks.
Metal Gloss: Are you sure it'll work?
Percy: Yeah, I've seen a few ponies in South Equestria do it.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's do it. *Gets in engine*
Jeff: *Putting stones in front of wheels*
Metal Gloss: *Driving three miles an hour*
Percy: Put a few more on there.
Jeff: *Puts more stones in front of wheels* It's getting there!
The wheels got back on the tracks.
Percy: Yes! *Runs to Metal Gloss* It worked! Drive your train to Cheyenne, and make up for lost time!
Metal Gloss: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
Speaking of Metal Gloss, she's Hawkeye's special somepony. Just like Pierce, she has a love for steam locomotives. You'll always find her driving one of those instead of the newer diesels. One day, she got her train out of a sticky situation.
Metal Gloss: *Driving train* We'll be going down Sherman Hill soon.
Coffee Creme: Right.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's put on the brakes.
Coffee Creme: *Tries to put on brakes* They aren't working.
Metal Gloss: That's not good. If we don't slow down in time, we're done for. I got an idea, cast a spell so we can have water.
Coffee Creme: Oh, a fine time for a drink Metal Gloss. Next I supposed you want some popcorn.
Metal Gloss: Just get the water.
Coffee Creme: *Casting a spell for water*
Metal Gloss: Better hurry.
Coffee Creme: *Finishes spell*
Metal Gloss: *Takes bucket of water, and pours it in firebox*
Coffee Creme: What did you do that for?
Metal Gloss: To kill off power. Without a fire, the steam engine can't go anywhere, now can it?
Coffee Creme: And then, we'll slow down before we crash. Good thinking.
You probably want to know about Coffee Creme next. Well, she's French, and-
Pete: *Arrives* Louis, I don't mean to be a bad host, but the station is going to close soon.
Louis: Okay, I'm almost done.
Pete: *Walks away*
Louis: *Continues writing letter*
I have to go Clint. Enjoy your new career as being an actor. I'm sure, everypony will love seeing you in the movies.
The End
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon gets angry, because Coffee Crème is on a vacation.
SeanTheHedgehog. Copyright, 2014
Song: link
Kevin: Thanks for joining us on our last episode of season 3. We'll be back on August 8. See you in 6 months.
Kevin: This is it! The moment we've all been waiting for! Who's faster?! Johnny Lightning, or Sean, the Amtrak F40PH?!
Johnny: *Revving his car's engine*
S.B: *Holding a flashlight. He shines it*
Sean: *Takes off with seven Amfleets in tow*
Johnny: *Quickly accelerates to 35 miles an hour*
Sean: Give me more power!! *Uncouples an Amfleet and goes up to 75 miles an hour*
Johnny: WHAT?!?!
Sean: *Crosses the finish line first*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Kevin: There you have it. A talking train can beat a car just by shouting while uncoupling one of his cars. Now let's watch The Legend Of Zelda: I Can't CDI, and Ponies On The Rails.
Link: *At the castle* Gee. It sure is boring around here.
King: Mah boi. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: *Arrives on a flying carpet* Your majesty, Ganon, and his minions have ceased the island of Koridai.
King: Hmm. How can we help?
Gwonam: It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: There is no time. Your sword is all your need.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: *Face palm* Please tell me that someone can defeat Ganon besides this retard.
Link: *Using a sword to pick his nose* I think I got something.
King: What about Zelda?
Gwonam: Yes. Let's get her immediately.
Zelda was in a different part of the castle watching a TV show called The Traitor.
Guard: Here's the traitor your majesty.
Mario: You know what they say. All toasters, toast toast.
King: Take him away.
Gwonam: *Arrives* Zelda, the king wants you to go to Koridai to defeat Ganon.
Zelda: I'm on it. *Leaves the castle with Gwonam*
Gwonam: Squadala! We're off!
Zelda: Where is Ganon hiding in this island?
Gwonam: You must check one of the mountains that have evil faces on it.
Zelda: Okay.
They lower the carpet to a mountain, and Zelda goes into the mountain with a lantern.
Ganon: *Sees the lantern, and gets angry* You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!!! *Attacks Zelda with lightning*
Zelda: *Knocked out, and lays on the ground*
Ganon: Hahahahahahhahaha!!!!
Gwonam: *Waiting on the carpet* Any moment now, she will return.
But she wasn't returning. Ganon locked her in a cage.
Zelda: Is there a bathroom I can use?
Ganon: I do not trust you to go to any bathrooms in this area.
Zelda: But I really have to go badly!
Ganon: You should have done that before coming here to fight me.
Zelda: *Poops her pants*
Ganon: *Smells Zelda* Damn girl, what's the matter with you?
Gwonam: *Checks his clock, and leaves* I must get the king. He must save Zelda.
Meanwhile, in the castle
Link: *At the castle* Gee. It sure is boring around here.
King: Mah boi. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: *Arrives on a flying carpet* Your majesty, Ganon, and his minions have ceased the island of Koridai.
King: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Didn't we already do this?
Gwonam: Oh, right. *Goes backwards*
King: What the hell is he doing?
Gwonam: *Returns on his carpet looking terrified* Your majesty, Princess Zelda was kidnapped by Ganon!
King: Hmmm. *Thinking about Burger King* I wonder what's for dinner.
Link: Oh boy. I'm so hungry, I could eat a-
Robotnik: Pingas!
Link: Who said that?
Robotnik: *Appears from nowhere* Pingas!
Gwonam: How can you think about that at a time like this? We must save Zelda.
King: I'm sure she'll be fine.
But she wasn't.
Zelda: *Chained to a bed*
Ganon: You will be in a never ending sleep. Once I ring this gong, you will stay asleep forever. The only thing that will wake you up is if the gong is rung again. *Rings the gong*
Zelda: *Falls asleep*
Ganon: Now this way, we won't have to worry about her shitting in her pants again.
Zelda: *Poops her pants*
Ganon: OH COME ON!!!!!!!!!!
Back at the castle.
Gwonam: Link, after seeing that the others do not care for Zelda, you must come with me to Koridai to rescue her.
They leave on Gwonam's flying carpet.
Gwonam: Squadala. We're off!
Link: Wow. What are all those heads?
Gwonam: These are the faces of evil. You must search them in order to save Zelda. Do you understand your task?
Link: Nope. All I care about is getting Zelda to kiss me.
Gwonam: You've got to be kidding.
Link: That's exactly what she said.
Gwonam: Go find her!
Link: Guess I better get going.
Gwonam: You think?
Link idiotically entered a shop, thinking it was one of the faces of evil.
Shop Keeper: Lamp oil. Rope. Bombs. You want it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: *Terrified*
Shop Keeper: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: Why are you making that noise?
Shop Keeper: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Link: *Runs out of the shop, and goes into a face of evil*
Ganon: Join me Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai. Or else you will die.
Link: *Finds a book* Oh boy.
Apparently, books are powerful. Well, that actually makes sense since some people write in them with pens. You know what they say-
Mario: All toasters toast toast.
No, I was going to say, the pen is mightier then the sword. You ruined a perfectly good joke.
Link: *Raises the book*
Ganon: No! Not into the pit! It buuurns!!!
Link: *Throws the book into Ganon's face* Oh boy! *Takes a picture of Ganon in the book, and posts it on facebook*
Zelda was still sleeping when...
Link: *Rings the gong*
Zelda: *Wakes up* Why'd you do that?
Link: I just saved you from Ganon.
Zelda: You did not.
Link: *Sniffs the air* What's that horrible smell?
Zelda: *Nervous*
Gwonam: *Arrives* Well done Link. You have saved the day.
They all get on the carpet, and fly away from Koridai.
Gwonam: Everything is peaceful again. The birds are singing, oh wait, they've always been doing that. Anyway, Ganon is defeated.
Link: I guess that's worth a kiss.
Zelda: Ha!
Link: I won!
The End
---
Theme song: link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 44
A Letter To Applewood
July 20, 1955
Hawkeye, and Stylo were waiting for a train to arrive, so that they could take it to Laramie. Then, Pete arrived with a letter.
Pete: Take a look at this.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Pete: It's a letter from Louis Bodine. The therapist that was visiting us last year.
Stylo: Oh yeah. Didn't you say his nickname was The British Mexican?
Pete: Yes I did. Listen, he said he was going to come visit us, and-
Louis: *Arrives* Hello.
Pete: Hi.
Hawkeye: It's nice to see you Louie.
Louis: Thanks Pierce. And how are you Stylo?
Stylo: I can't complain. Things are really good today.
Louis: Nice to hear.
Metal Gloss: *Blowing whistle on train*
Pete: There's a passenger train coming. You two will have to take it.
Hawkeye: We can do it. Right Stylo?
Stylo: Right.
Metal Gloss: *Stops train*
Hawkeye: Hello my love.
Metal Gloss: Hi Pierce. *Climbs out of engine*
Hawkeye: Me, and Stylo are taking over for you.
Metal Gloss: Thank you. *Kisses Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: We will see you later, when the job is done.
Metal Gloss: Okay.
Hawkeye, and Stylo: *Climb into engine*
Conductor: All aboard!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
While the train was leaving, Louis decided to write a letter.
Dear Clint Eastwood,
It's me, Louis Bodine. I haven't heard from you in a while, but I did get to see you in a movie. Congratulations. I'm writing to you from a train station in Cheyenne Wyoming. It's part of the Union Pacific line, and the ponies that work here are superb. They're all nice. Pierce Hawkins, or Hawkeye is one of the engineers.
A few days ago, he was trying to help somepony, but he got angry at him for that.
Gordon: *Cleaning station* Why do I have to sweep the floor, when I should be driving a train?!
Hawkeye: *Watching Gordon carelessly clean* Gordon, you're supposed to get all of the dust, you're leaving some of it on the floor.
Gordon: Who asked for you to make fun of me?!
Hawkeye: Alright, fine. Do it the wrong way. Or better yet, let me do it.
Gordon: *Puts broom down* You want to do it instead of me?
Hawkeye: Well, somepony has to do it, and it obviously ain't you.
Pete: *Arrives* Gordon, stop bothering Pierce, and get back to work. We want this station to look nice before the passengers arrive.
Gordon: I wasn't bothering him! He wanted to take over for me!
Pete: Really?
Hawkeye: Help him? Why should I do that, when he called me an asshole?
Pete: That's it Gordon, you're going home for the rest of the day.
Gordon: NO! I want to work!
Pete: Not with that behavior, you won't.
Gordon: Why?!!!?
Not a bright pony. Not bright at all.
Louis continued writing his letter to another pony named Clint Eastwood.
You would be great friends with Stylo. He was once a worker on the Southern Pacific Railway, before coming to join the Union Pacific. He's a very nice pony, and is also good at his job. I remember Hawkeye telling me about how he managed to get a heavy freight over Sherman Hill, which is much harder then it sounds. He had three diesels pulling the train, and was low on sand.
Stylo: Orion, we're low on sand.
Orion: Oh, don't worry, I know.
Stylo: You knew this entire time, and you didn't even tell me?!
Orion: Yeah. I used most of the sand to make a sand castle.
Stylo: ..Where exactly did you make this sand castle?
In Pete's office.
Pete: *Looking at desk* I'll never understand how Orion keeps doing all these crazy things.
Back to the freight train.
Stylo: Oh. I see. Well, that's okay. There's some sand over there. Take over, and keep this thing going at five miles an hour. Do not go faster then that.
Orion: You got it.
Stylo: *Jumps out of train, and picks up sand* Now, I got to get this into the sander, and we should have enough, just in case we get wheel spin. *Flies towards top of engine* Where is that sander?
Orion: Everything okay up there?
Stylo: Yeah, just looking for the sander. Get her up to 10.
Orion: I got it. *Driving train at 10 miles an hour*
Stylo: *Finds sander* There it is. *Puts sand in sander* How is everything?
Orion: No wheelslip so far.
Stylo: Good, let's keep it that way. *Gets back in cab*
You're probably wondering why Orion took out the sand from that engine. Well, I'll be more than happy to tell you. You see, most of his jobs kept getting switched around, too early in his opinion. So, he tries to get fired, because he thinks that if he quits, the government will kill him.
Orion: *Sees Percy, and Jeff fixing track by the station* Can I ask you two something?
Percy: Sure.
Jeff: Go ahead.
Orion: Can I get fired for damaging the track?
Jeff: By accident, or on purpose?
Orion: On purpose.
Jeff: Wait here, and let me talk to Percy. *Walks with Percy from Orion, and whispers* I think Orion has finally lost it.
Percy: I know. He wants to get fired so badly, that he'll endanger everypony's lives.
Jeff: Let's tell him a lie.
Percy: With pleasure. *Walks back to Orion with Jeff*
Orion: Well?
Percy: You can't get fired for damaging the track on purpose.
Orion: Aw man. Well, I'm gonna do it anyway. *Takes hammer*
Jeff: Oh no.
Orion: *Taking spikes out of tracks*
Percy: Stop him!
Jeff: What can we do?
Orion: *Taking more spikes out of the rails*
Pete: *On loudspeaker* Attention, everypony. The next passenger train will be stppping here in 30 seconds, and is heading Eastbound for Council Bluffs Iowa.
Orion: Perfect timing.
I think you know what happened after that. The train crashed, but Orion didn't get fired surprisingly. Pete tries his best to change Orion's mind on getting fired, and will help that crazy bastard do anything.
So far, Louis wrote his letter about Hawkeye, Stylo, and Orion. Now he was writing about the rest of the ponies he knew.
Percy, and Jeff don't talk much, but they get their jobs done very well. They fix track, you see? And nopony has done a better job then those two so far. They could even fix the track during an earthquake, but you'll never believe what they did yesterday. Those two had to get a freight car back on the tracks, and they did it with stones. Here's what happened.
Metal Gloss: *Looking at derailed car* This is not good.
Percy: It's nothing serious. Watch, you get back in your engine, drive slowly, and we'll get the car back on the tracks.
Metal Gloss: How?
Jeff: Well, look at the wheels. Although they are derailed, they are on the ballast, right next to the rails. We just need to get a few stones, and make some kind of a small hump for those wheels to get back on the tracks.
Metal Gloss: Are you sure it'll work?
Percy: Yeah, I've seen a few ponies in South Equestria do it.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's do it. *Gets in engine*
Jeff: *Putting stones in front of wheels*
Metal Gloss: *Driving three miles an hour*
Percy: Put a few more on there.
Jeff: *Puts more stones in front of wheels* It's getting there!
The wheels got back on the tracks.
Percy: Yes! *Runs to Metal Gloss* It worked! Drive your train to Cheyenne, and make up for lost time!
Metal Gloss: *Blows whistle twice, and drives train*
Speaking of Metal Gloss, she's Hawkeye's special somepony. Just like Pierce, she has a love for steam locomotives. You'll always find her driving one of those instead of the newer diesels. One day, she got her train out of a sticky situation.
Metal Gloss: *Driving train* We'll be going down Sherman Hill soon.
Coffee Creme: Right.
Metal Gloss: Alright, let's put on the brakes.
Coffee Creme: *Tries to put on brakes* They aren't working.
Metal Gloss: That's not good. If we don't slow down in time, we're done for. I got an idea, cast a spell so we can have water.
Coffee Creme: Oh, a fine time for a drink Metal Gloss. Next I supposed you want some popcorn.
Metal Gloss: Just get the water.
Coffee Creme: *Casting a spell for water*
Metal Gloss: Better hurry.
Coffee Creme: *Finishes spell*
Metal Gloss: *Takes bucket of water, and pours it in firebox*
Coffee Creme: What did you do that for?
Metal Gloss: To kill off power. Without a fire, the steam engine can't go anywhere, now can it?
Coffee Creme: And then, we'll slow down before we crash. Good thinking.
You probably want to know about Coffee Creme next. Well, she's French, and-
Pete: *Arrives* Louis, I don't mean to be a bad host, but the station is going to close soon.
Louis: Okay, I'm almost done.
Pete: *Walks away*
Louis: *Continues writing letter*
I have to go Clint. Enjoy your new career as being an actor. I'm sure, everypony will love seeing you in the movies.
The End
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon gets angry, because Coffee Crème is on a vacation.
SeanTheHedgehog. Copyright, 2014
Song: link
Kevin: Thanks for joining us on our last episode of season 3. We'll be back on August 8. See you in 6 months.
