Lea (in video): Hello, Glee fans--and all of my personal fans. My name is Lea Michele and I'm singing "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. I decided to sing this song because she's a real idol, and this song really gets you to move. So...here we go.
(In the video, Lea begins to sing the song as powerful as she can. By the time the video is finished, a beep comes up on her computer.)
Lea: Must be someone trying to video chat with me. (Lea pulls up the video chat and sees Dianna Agron on her screen.) Oh hey, Dianna.
Dianna: Yeah...about your video--
Lea: I know. It's amazing, isn't it? That's awfully nice coming from you.
Dianna: Actually, I wasn't going to say that. I was actually gonna say that I hope Ryan doesn't give you another solo this season.
Lea (disappointed): Why?
(Just then Kevin McHale, Heather Morris, and Mark Salling show up on her computer screen.)
Mark: I agree with her, actually. If they're gonna put that song on 'Glee', they might as well give it to Heather and Kevin's characters.
Lea: Of course you'd say that. Your character hates my character. And that makes you wanna hate me more.
Heather: Okay, I don't get what she said.
Kevin: Me neither.
Dianna: What about Quinn? The only song she took part in was that mash-up that New Directions had in the last episode.
Kevin: True.
(Both Amber Riley and Naya Rivera show up on the screen.)
Lea: Did you come here to tell me to not get anymore songs? I'm starting to get sick of both of your characters, honestly.
Amber: I wasn't even coming to talk about that. I'm just mad that my character isn't positively improving at all. Ryan Murphy just wants me to look like a bitch on national television.
Naya: Yeah, the same with me. I don't want to be a whore-ish lesbian.
Heather: But didn't you say you love me?
Naya: That was when I was in character, remember?
Heather: So explain to me why you left a note in my inbox, asking to watch that Valentine's Day movie and kiss under the moonlight.
(Silence.)
Naya (stutters): W...what?
Kevin: Oh, hell no. Heya's getting intimate tonight! Yeah, baby!
Naya: Shut the f*ck up!
Lea: Just admit it, Naya. You weren't in character when you sent her that!
Naya: And how about you admit to Ryan that you're the same pelican-mouth bitch Rachel is.
Dianna (scoffs): She got you there, Lea.
Mark: Oh sh*t. There's gonna be a bitch fight.
Lea: Naya, you're sounding a little like Santana now. You need to chill down a little. Take some chill pills, put some ice on your head--do something! And Dianna, you need to shut up. All of you are turning into bitches on 'Glee' anyway! It's not me!
Dianna: What makes you think that?
Lea: Think about it. Dianna, your character dated a skateboarder, like, 32 years older than she is, and dyed her hair! Add the smoking part to it and you get a prostitute!
Dianna's Thoughts: Crap...
Lea: And you two, Amber and Naya, you're pretty much the biggest bitches on 'Glee'! I'm surprised you're able to keep your legs closed, Naya. And Amber, it looks as if you've never taken the in on out because boys would look at you, and think you're as trashed as that fat, pregnant girl from 'Precious'!
Amber: What the hell did you--
Lea (mocking Amber's voice): What the hell did you--(goes back to being mad) You need to shut the f*ck up!
Mark: Lea, you're being mean.
Lea: You shut up, too, Mark. At least when I had a crush on Matthew Morrison's character, I didn't do mouth-to-mouth.
Mark: Damn, you shouldn't have...
Lea: You shouldn't have said anything.
Heather: This is so sexy of Lea, isn't it?
Lea: You know what, screw all of you. I'm logging out!
(Lea logs off her Facebook page, leaving everyone staring at their screens. Then Cory Monteith logs on and turns his video chat on.)
Cory: Is Lea online? She left her thongs over in my trailer.
Everyone (except Heather): What?!
Heather: No, but you'll definitely see mine over there in just a few minutes.
Well, here's my first special for my Glee story. I hope you liked it. :)
