Creative mood today. I hope it is not too cheesy, unlogical or badly written.
Yep I am so confident about my work *lol* -____-
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"Weaknesses...
You had none
I had one...I loved."

Bertolt Brecht


House awoke with a start and cold sweat on his forehead.
It had been the same dream again.
Night after night he dreamt it...but he neither had an idea what it meant nor why he did it.


At the beginning there was a bright white light, dazzlingly white so he had to close his eyes.
And then he saw the water, a huge concentration of clear water and she was right there in the middle and drowning.
Her hair was spread and looked like a dark wave of thick silk, in her eyes he could see the fear, helplessness and pain.
The water broke of a bit and created stirs, caused by her arms that were flailing about. Though House was aware of that she was dying he couldn't react.

His body was frozen and he was unable to move a single muscle.
Then after an eternity he pulled himself together, felt the blood running through his body again and throbbing through every fiber of it.
It would be too late if he wouldn't do anyhing. He could still see her body fighting against the water mass, menacing to drag her under and keep her there forever.

So he jumped...but he never reached the water. The resistance was impossible to describe, it was something he had never felt before, he was bouncing off as if there would have been an invisible wall.
No matter how often he tried it, the result was always the same.
Desperately he lifted his head just to see that she was gone, all he could see was a blurred darkbrown blob on the water surface and some small air bubbles before her body was steeped and the water became as smooth as it had been before.



House could hear his own breath and wiped the sweat away. He needed a few moments before he realized that he was in his office.
The sun was sinking and bathed everything in soft orange light. He was not in the mood for an analyse and he didn't want to talk about it.
If Wilson would have known what he was dreaming he had surely told him that this dream showed him his messed up relationship with Cuddy...and that it would end if he kept on treating her like that.

But luckily Wilson was not there and House had no reason to tell him his dream. After all it was just a dream. He grabbed his cane and got up, his thigh was throbbing painfully and so he took some Vicodin pills. Then he limped out of his office.



Cuddy was lying on her bed and looking out of her window. It had been one of the most beautiful sunsets she could remember, the light was an intense mixture of gold, orange, amber, ocher and even a soft pink.
She couldn't avert her eyes and she could feel the warm rays on her face.
Unfortunately it would be her last sunset.

Her body was turned to the window and her room was sun-drenched.
Cuddy felt sick and dizzy, she was sweating but it was cold sweat. Her breath was weak and irregular.

"I have been incredibly stupid."

was running through her mind, but at the same time she knew that it was too late.

What had brought her to actually put her plan into action? Especially because it had just been a stupid idea, hidden in some small corner in her mind. Nevertheless she had done it.
She had had a quite normal day, nothing special had happened to make her feel worse than usual.
Maybe this was the point.

Cuddy had tried so hard to bottle up her feelings and to repress her thoughts that this had caused her to such drastic measures. It could not be healthy to blind oneself to the facts.
She had not confided in somebody...she had been alone with all her thoughts and memories. And she had reached a point where it was too much for her to bear it anymore.

If she would have been able to turn back time she had done it, she had entered her house and might drank something, watched TV, read a book or listened to music, just to avoid her from doing what she had done.
The box of pills was lying on the ground...it was empty.

Actually she hadn't planned to commit suicide, she just had wanted to take one sleeping pill so she wouldn't have to deal with her agonizing thoughts anymore, to drift away into a deep, long and dreamless sleep.
But before she had realised what she was doing one pill had followed another until the box had been empty.
It had fallen out off Cuddy's now clumsy hands and landed on the ground with a small noise.
She had felt the warmth of the sun and turned herself into the direction of it.

And now she was lying there on her bed, getting weaker and weaker, with the small but improbable hope that someone would find her before it was too late.
Lisa Cuddy was dying and she couldn't do anything against it.



House was still in the hospital because he had run out of Vicodin. He had no intention of going to Wilson, he would have realized that something in House's behaviour was different and House still didn't feel like talking about a weird dream that seemed to hunt him.
So he had decided to go to Cuddy instead, she was always too distracted with her paper work and even if she would have asked him it was a lot easier for House to fob her off than Wilson.
But when he had approached her office he had found it empty.

House knitted his brows, it was uncommon for Cuddy to leave at that time of the day.
He asked a nurse who was flitting through the corridor but all she could tell him was that Dr. Cuddy had felt unwell and left to go home.
His supicion confirmed, something was wrong, Cuddy never left the hospital because she was feeling unwell.

House decided to get to the bottom of it and left the hospital as well. It was rather cold outside though the sun was still on the horizon, literally burning in bright colours.
Though he didn't really pay attention to such things House couldn't remember such an intense sunset. Quite annoyed that he had let himself distract by something so unimprotant he got into his car and drove to Cuddy's house.

As he arrived there, he got out and searched for the second key, he smiled when he found it at the same place it had been three years ago.
House opened the door and entered the house. It was oddly silent as if nobody would have been at home.

"Cuddy?"

he called.

He didn't get an answer.

"Cuddy, I know that you are here I can feel the devilish atmosphere of your presence."

No reply.

The corrugation between his brows became deeper, he didn't like the situation at all.

"CUDDY!" he shouted again, this time he was angry.

The anger flew away immidiately when he eventually found her.
It took him just a few seconds to realize what had happened but it didn't affect his head. His body convulsed and for a horrible moment he thought she was dead.

The cane was falling to ground and he ran to her as fast as he could. With shaky hands he felt her pulse and was releaved when he finally felt her blood still running through her body. Her skin was cool and her pulse was incredibly low but she was alive.
Sweat was running down her face and she was shaking.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at House. He wasn't sure if she apprehended that he was there. Her eyes were now dark blue, awfully empty and absent and he could see the physical pain in them that the overdose had caused.
Suddenly they widened and House could see the expression of realization for a short moment.

Cuddy opened her mouth to say something but House stopped her. He reached for his cell and noticed that he was still shaking, though Cuddy was alive she could have died any moment and he knew it...too well.

After he had called the ambulance he couldn't do anything but wait. He didn't dare to move and remained sitting on Cuddy's bed.
Cuddy who had realized that she wasn't alone anymore had reached out for House's hand and he took it in his, afraid to let go. Afraid that he might lose her.

Her hand was cold and sweaty as well but after a few moments he felt how it warmed up.
The waiting drove him almost mad, he was scared shitless.
Then, after an eternity the ambulance arrived and two men entered the house with a stretcher.
House still didn't dare to move and watched Cuddy anxiously, she never had looked this fragile and he feared she could break any moment.

House eyed the medics suspiciously and watched everything they did. During the whole journey to the hospital House didn't let go off Cuddy's hand, not caring about the protests of the medics.
When they finally arrived the sun had sunk and everything was black.
He felt incredibly weak and powerless and finally released her hand when they entered the hospital.
A few doctors ran to the medics and carried Cuddy into an operating room.
House went to his office and let himself fall into his armchair. Though he felt tired he couldn't sleep, his mind was always turning on Cuddy.
He opened his eyes when he heard his door opening and looked at a young doctor who smiled insecurely at him.

"Dr. Cuddy is in the ICU now...but she will be fine again."

House nodded absent-minded and got up. He entered the room and saw Cuddy lying in a hospital bed, connected to serveral appliances.
A humorless smile appeared on his face when he thought about the irony. One year ago it had been the same situation, but now they had changed parts.
And exactly as she had done one year ago, he sat down on the chair next to her bed and watched her. He didn't remember what had happened next, he must have been fallen asleep but when he woke up he found himself still sitting there and holding her hand again.
Cuddy was awake too and looked at him, with a small smile on her face. She didn't know what to say but perhaps words didn't matter.

She squeezed his hand and a single word left her mouth.

"Thanks."

Her voice sounded hoarsly and was not more than a whisper.

House looked at her and remained silent. But she could see in his eyes that he understood.
Someday she would tell him everything, someday she would be able to thank him, but right now both of them were content and secure with the presence of each other.
And from this day on the dream didn't return anymore.


"Empty"

Something has left my life,
And I don't know where it went to, ah, ha, ha.
Somebody caused me strife,
And it's not what I was seeking.

Didn't you see me, didn't you hear me?
Didn't you see me standing there, ah, ha, ha?
Why did you turn out the lights?
Did you know that I was sleeping?

Say a prayer for me,
Help me to feel the strenght, I did.
My identity, has it been taken?
Is my heart breakin' on me?

All my plans fell thought my hands,
They fell thought my hands on me.
All my dreams it suddenly seems,
It suddenly seems,
Empty

The Cranberries - Empty.