and it still doesn't make sense,
only because all my life,
I've been building me a fence.
A wall to keep away fear,
to keep away the grief and pain,
to divert the hurt I knew could come,
that in my heart would it sustain.
I stagger the halls in shame,
for acting the way I do and how I treat you,
And I know that I shouldn't,
but its the only thing I know how to do.
I force myself to push you away,
accompanied with fret,
cause I know that's not what I want
and it becomes another regret.
When the thought of you comes to mind,
the pain begins to seep,
the grief begins to re-emerge,
and the tears begin to creep.
And as the tears flood my eyes,
I long for your embrace,
So I take the strength that I have left,
and go to meet you face to face.
It gets harder and harder every day,
with every breath I take,
with every second passing by,
I make another mistake.
I pass you by like nothings wrong,
I don't bother to take a chance,
so my eyes avert away from you,
and we only meet at glance.
I hate that you can stand me,
that you understand me well,
I'm afraid for completely everything,
and there's still so much to tell.
But the greatest truth of all,
that I'm afraid to confess,
the truth that gnaws at my soul,
that's most hurtful than all the rest.
I'm afraid that I love you,
more scared if its true,
and I'm afraid that you love me,
and I might end up hurting you.
I'm afraid your actually right for me,
and if I ever messed it up,
I would ruin our relationship,
and our friendship would be up.
I'm running out of reasons,
to force you away,
we seem to be getting closer,
every single day.
I've found one reason
that is becoming true:
the grief and pain are worth it,
if it's all for you.
