"You're having dinner at Cuddy's? You can't be serious, House," Wilson said as he sat down on his friend's couch.
"Jimmy, I've never been more serious."
"She's still with Paul, isn't she?"
"Yeah, she's still with the funny looking P.I."
"So, why on earth is she having a dinner date with you?"
"Because I am a master manipulator."
"What did you do now?"
"I merely appealed to her fervent desperation to have all department heads at her dull fundraiser."
"I have a feeling she wasn't the one to offer dinner at her place," Wilson said as he propped his feet up on the coffee table.
"She offered the usual. I wasn't interested."
"You not being interested in a week off clinic duty is strange unto itself, but you being more interested in having dinner with her, is just completely weird, even for you."
"Weird. You're the one that thinks I have a thing for her. Isn't this what men do when they want a woman?," he said taking a sip of his beer.
"Usually bribery isn't a tactic but then again maybe for you it is. What are you trying to achieve anyway?"
"It's about gaining information, Wilson. I've already found out that she's done the dirty with him. Can you imagine what I'll find out over the course of one evening."
"Again, what are you trying to achieve?"
House took another swig of his beer and turned his attention to the television screen.
"I need to know how serious she is."
"How serious she is about him?"
"No. How serious she is about me."
"God, you really can't tell by now? How many times has she risked her job, reputation, and everything else just to save you from being canned on your ass or put in prison..."
"That's because I'm an asset to the hospital..."
"Please. You're more than just an asset to her. You two have only known each other about twenty years."
"We're quasi-friends and at times enemies but..."
"Stop minimizing. She was holding your hand when you came out of the coma. She was doing everything to make sure you were recovering well..."
"Wait. How do you know about that? That was the period when you were being all bitchy and not talking to me."
"Cuddy is Cuddy. Even though I didn't want to talk about you she'd bring you up in conversation nonetheless. I know she was practically at your place everyday for a month before she felt like you could handle things on your own."
"She was insufferable that month. She was monitoring my diet and wouldn't allow me any junk food. She was constantly cleaning too."
"Was she a good cook?" Wilson asked with a smile.
"What you're implying is that she was a good cook ergo I miss her cooking ergo I miss her being around me twenty-four seven ergo the real reason I wanted her to make me dinner at her place."
"Well, yeah."
"She is a good cook. She's made vast improvements since college."
"What was she like in college?"
"The same just with a tighter ass."
"Did you two date? Neither of you ever talk about Michigan. Makes me wonder what went on between you guys."
"We didn't date," he said as he got up to go to the fridge.
"Was it a flirtation?" Wilson asked as he followed House to the other room.
"Dumb question."
"Okay, knowing you there had to have been inappropriate gestures and comments. I mean did you ever try to be with her?"
"What you are really trying to ask but are too cowardly to is whether or not we did the deed."
"Well?"
"Despite what others may think, I am a gentleman. I don't broadcast my sexcapades," he said with an overly dramatic shake of his head.
"Alright, you don't have to tell me, but I do have to tell you something."
"You met the future fourth Mrs. Wilson to day?"
"I had a talk with Cuddy about you."
"What's new about that. You two girls are always gossiping about me."
"She seems torn between her deeper feelings for you and the blossoming feelings she has for Paul. I sensed that she wants Paul because he's more open and less..."
"Caustic, sarcastic, offensive, insincere..."
"Yes, less you."
"So, big deal. Like I told her, he's a distraction."
"Or you want him to be a distraction."
"You really think he has a shelf life past three months? There is a reason I'm the only man who she's had a long term connection with. She likes conflict just as much as I do. I'm a sadist and she's a masochist," he said as he popped a few of his vicodin.
"Pretend all you want to, but if he really isn't a formidable opponent then why even go through all this trouble? Why would it matter to know how serious she is about you?"
"Look, I know she cares about me, but I'm never sure if it's just this weird co-dependent thing we have or if it really is..."
"Love."
"Yeah."
"That's nice."
"Oh, shut up."
"You want to know if she's as in love with you as she's alluded to because you've fallen in..."
"Shut up!"
"Okay. I'll stop talking about your girlfriend."
"Why do I associate with you?"
"Because I tell you the truth and I'm the only one willing to associate with you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hand me another beer."