I'm so spoiling you :P
PS Just a slight concern on tenses. You know I'm not a native so I hope they are all ok. I tried so hard but it was so difficult for me with all the time switches. Hope the timing is clear to everyone
“Liz?! Can you still hear me?”
Hugh had looked straight into her eyes, “Shall we take a minute for us… please?” he had whispered in the semi-darkness.
She had remained still, breathing hard. Her hands were still shaking a bit. She couldn’t even feel it anymore. Katie’s voice kept busting in on them, giving her no respite, that was all she could feel
“You sure you’re feeling alright…?”
Hugh had ignored it. Slowly, he had started to draw her close to him, instead, his eyes not leaving hers, not even for a second, “Come here…”
He had nestled her inside his arms and she could still hear her heart bucking and thudding and leaping but had let herself fall gently into it, all the same, closing her eyes for a moment. He had given her a soft kiss on the forehead.
“Liz?!”
She had had to breathe in deeply to answer for it felt chokingly peaceful in there.
She had turned her voice to the window, “Yes…” he feeling she must be keeping on shaking somehow was always with her, even like this, even as he was encircling her like that. She had had to gulp “…just uhm…” she had paused, having to make an effort to raise her voice again “…give me a minute! Go to the door, I’m coming…”
A brief pause, silence falling upon them once again. Was she still out there? Some part of her was hoping she might not be anymore. Just like that. As by magic. Just the two of them. For a little longer…
His lips had kept on resting on her forehead. It felt like they were running a fever: they were burning hot against her skin.
But she needed them so much. Just a little longer…
Katie’s voice had her startle again, making her jump lightly inside his arms.
“Alright…”
She had pressed her lips, her eyes tightly closed.
How stupid. She knew she couldn’t be gone…
“We got worried a bit you know....”
She was realizing she didn’t have any curiosity to start to wonder why. Not right there. She really couldn’t put herself into figuring out something like that in that moment. Not with his hands holding hers down like that or with their heads that close to one another. She was being barely capable of helping her stomach from dropping. Her lungs hardly felt like being listening to her. Somewhere inside her she still needed to get used to this proximity. And yet it was already starting to feel strangely addictive all over again.
“How’s it going?” Hugh had asked her after a moment. His lips had brushed lightly across her face “You feeling better?”
She had heaved a little sigh. How come he was so good at forestalling her at times, without she even said a word?
It felt confusing more than the rest at times.
“Yes, I do…” she had managed.
He had started to go back brushing across her arms, then slow and delicate, until her shaking had started to fade. Alright. Maybe not that much more confusing than something like that, after all.
“I mean we tried to reach you…cause…well, you called this morning and…well, you know Dave, he can’t figure out a person an inch from his nose, but…”
His lips had went to part from her face, but Katie’s voice had started to feel nothing more than a soft, annoying whisper in the background, already.
“Alright…” he had whispered.
She had pushed down the lump in her throat, “Alright…”
“…David was thinking you know…he was thinking…”
He had talked into her hair then, his voice barely a whisper “You sure you want me to slip out like this…right?”
She had had to breathe in again.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes, of course she did.
She could feel his heart still slowly trying to ease out in his chest.
“Liz?” he had prompted her.
No. Don’t. Just a little longer…
“Yes….”
“…that you might have had a fight with someone or anyway that something was like…I don't know bothering you I guess...”
Her heart had leapt into her throat to that. She had closed her eyes.
He had to. She ought to.
“Alright you really better be going…” she had sighed at last.
It had almost felt like he had tensed, slightly, as if the words might have hurt him. Or had been it just her?
He had spoken gently again though “As you wish…if that’s what you want…”
A long shiver running down her neck.
His fingers kept on caressing her, lightly….
“Yes…” she had said. Her eyes had lifted up to him, ever so tentatively and apologetic “It’s…it’s just…” she had frowned lightly, licking her lips “I’m sorry, I know…it’s just…just safer like this…I just need…you know...I simply…I simply feel like it’s….”
But he hadn’t let her finish. Not this time. He had shook his head instead, firmly and gone back resting his lips lightly to the side of her head, “I know…” he had whispered. He had nestled his nose into her hair, “I know…you don’t have to explain….I know…”
He had to.
She ought to.
So why wasn’t she pulling apart?
His voice echoed in the air, reassuringly, cuddling her, “I know…”
And he really did.
He really, truly did. He wasn’t just pretending to. He could understand her. He wouldn’t be able do otherwise. How could he? What did a slight moment of doubt count to the rest? Nothing. It counted nothing. They mattered more than his self-centric, chronic moments of lack of confidence. She mattered more.
He had had to get up. They were done with him already. Hair and everything, he was set up and ready to this finale. Greg had just barged in instead in the meanwhile. It looked like had come all the way up to the make-up room just to take stock of the situation with him - angles and feelings, last minute missing lights expedients and so on. He couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t like this was his first day on set. He wondered why everyone looked so edgy tonight. Even Katie somehow had had something to her that had just given him a funny feeling. But he couldn’t put himself down to figuring that out. Not right now.
David was waiting for them Greg was saying. It was 3 am already. It would take them a bit to nail this one he was afraid. He wasn’t so sure about what he had in mind exactly. Katie had sounded like having a whole different picture of it. They still needed to work this out with them. And Peter…well, Peter wasn’t been helpful at all with his jabber-jabbering on this inspiration of the moment he seemed to have come up with. He really didn’t know what he had been smoking but he wanted some, he was joking. He just wanted to make sure he and Lisa would hit this one. That he was realizing - and Lisa as well – that this a crucial turning point, a no-way-back one and…
….and he didn’t know what else he wasn’t pretending to be listening to.
Lisa had just stood up too. She was standing straight at the opposite end of the room now, eyes closed, as they finished putting her on some make up, pushing up her hair, craftily drawing deepest lines of tiredness across her face…
And as he still tried to have some room left to glance sideways at her without being caught, nodding and humming quietly in assent whenever it seemed appropriate, he really truly got that. Just by watching her face now more than ever, he completely did. What else could he pretend to put her through in one single night after all? It was understandable. She needed some time. He ought to give her some more. But how was he supposed to stop himself from feeling how she made him feel? He loved her, didn’t he? He didn’t want to force her into things she wasn’t ready for; pushing things forward too much. He could never do that, but....
“Alright…” he had said after a moment.
Maybe, Katie had still been there talking to her. Probably, she had even explained to her why David was supposed to be so worried for her. She couldn’t tell for sure. She wouldn’t be able to.
She hadn’t been paying attention to her anymore for quite a while already. Something at the pit of her stomach had been writhing too loudly for her to keep listening. Let alone catching the real meaning behind her words.
He had sighed, his face inches away above hers “I should go then…”
“Alright…” she had repeated, but her heart had suddenly raced without she could do nothing to it.
He had nodded a bit “I’m going….”
“Yes…” she had sighed.
“I am…”
She had had to swallow, “You are…”
“Yes, alright…” he had said.
She had nodded moving his face up and down against his this time, starting to pull away. Just in theory, ‘cause then, how was it that she had found herself starting to slowly lift her head up instead, nuzzling her face against his and searching for his lips she didn’t know.
She only knew she had found the comfort of their touch still there on them, waiting for her.
And they had been at it again, all over again, once more.
Her mind had started to swim, incoherently bringing along the feeling she was irremediably gravitating towards something. Something she couldn’t control. She couldn’t help but let drifting into that something.
His hand slid up to her face, instantly to her touch, holding it.
“Liz?! How long does it take you yet?”
And then a moment later his thumb was brushing so lightly across her cheek to make her breath away; as if she was diving into some deep dark waters, only this time the feeling wasn’t that of drowning but the one of tasting something like a moonbeam, having pinning it down right from the sky.
“Liz…can you still hear me from there?"
No.
She couldn’t hear her.
She could feel nothing aside from him.
She was just hoping that the drench of the water sound under the shower would provide a plausible excuse.
Hugh had closed his eyes, his lips brushing across her mouth, “Wasn’t I supposed to be going?” he had whispered.
She had shivered, “You were…”
He had caught his breath, his mouth opening a bit “Am I?”
An uncontrollable riot in her stomach: his tongue was sliding slowly into her mouth, caressing hers.
It had been the final stroke. The one making her walls tumble down, altogether, “Yes…”
And then it was the feeling of his beard rough and bristly against her face; scent of leather and snuff and one thousands different things blending together…
Katie was still there.
She knew it.
And yet some part of her couldn’t even remember she had ever existed out there.
Her lips had started to move with his…
One kiss. Two kisses. Three kisses. Slowly, slowly, a little faster, some more eagerly, more and more feverishly, until his hand had clamped around the small of her back moving swiftly up, tight around her ribs…
The wall pressed against her back and he was using it to bind her closer, tightening her to him….
Closer, closer, a little more, even more; more and more, and some more again…
The feeling of his hands against her skin…
Their breath mingling, their mouth moving together, the feeling her body was way stronger than her mind, that she didn’t even know where his finished and hers started, her arms breaking free from her control and reaching up to wind themselves round his neck and it was not just desire anymore but something so overwhelming she didn’t even had a name for it, and…
And so it all had felt to him very much like when you’re still in your twenties and one day you’re standing in the green-room waiting for your scene to come and yet you seemed entirely and irremediably unable to focus on your next lines and even just simply picture the stage, ‘cause something else - a very much gentler and appealing image - kept on fluttering around you, obstinately but so sweetly with her bell-like laugh tingling in your ears, until you – suddenly and unexpectedly and completely out of the blue and against any better prediction ever possible – right you…find yourself guessing the right thing to do at the very right moment and then…then you don’t even know how’s that even possible but you’re touching and kissing and hugging that very grey-eyed girl whose simple promise of a smile had kept you going since forever.
But reality had to start to break in sooner of later and it comes, pushing between you two: lights turn on, the curtain is pulled and it’s time for the show to go on, but for a while…for a while you just keep feeling dazed and breathless, even faintly embarrassed perhaps, and yet whenever you return backstage it’s all still made of pulling at each other, snatching kisses, twining fingers, being locked to one another and unable to pull apart and yet been forced to.
‘Cause it just the way life goes….
And yet in the meantime there’s always that unspoken promise for more to come that kept on wavering in the air, flaring you up…
“Liz I’m starting to get slightly worried out here, are you alive?”
The kiss had broken almost abruptly, forcing her to come down off her tiptoes, still wheezing heavily, her lips pulling on his…
Hugh had eased back, putting his hands up on her shoulders, as if he needed to put some physical, real distance between them in order to stop. He was panting away, too. But he had kept his face close to hers, their noses touching.
She had tried to loosen up, ease out the thudding in her chest, but it all felt like keeping on whirling too much for her to be able to properly function yet.
He had closed his eyes shut, smiling a bit “Are you?” he had asked breathlessly.
She was hearing blood rushing through her ears, “What?”
He had recovered his breath, almost shaking and touched her face again stroking it, “…alive…” he had smiled, bending his forehead against hers.
She had had to make an effort for her mind to get what he meant.
Yes she was alive….she believed.
At least she was feeling like that.
Even too much…
She had nodded, stunned.
“Good….” he had whispered. His chest was puffing out like crazy.
She hadn’t even started recovering yet that he had gotten some breath and launched himself forward, again, as if he couldn’t restrain himself anymore.
“Liz?!”
She had pulled away “YES!” she had shouted. Her mind was feeling about to blow up. She ought to regain some control, “In a minute!!!” put a halt to this “I’m almost done” she had yelled to the window.
She had turned to him again. His eyes were now smiling down at her, sparkling. They felt impossible to hold. She had shook her head, then mildly as if she herself still needed to start talking herself out it “You should really…really, really get go now…”
The lines around his eyes had crinkled softly sort of teasingly, “…I really don’t think that would be possible I’m afraid…” he had said, breathing hard.
She had inched herself backwards a bit, desperately trying to keep focus “Hugh I’m really…really again not sure we should…I mean I know we shouldn’t…you heard her…she’s out there, I need to…you need to go…”
He had brought his hand to her face, holding it “I’m still not quite functioning to do that…” he had whispered, stroking gently down her jaw.
She had reached up to his hand “Hugh, she’s…”
He had shaken his head, moving her hand away, gently. There was a strange smile dancing on his lips.
She had her breath going back getting shorter, “Hugh…”
“I just…I just need a fix before I can do that…” he had said, keeping on smiling, crookedly down at her, making her impossible to think straight.
“Alright…” she had managed “…then why don’t we just pull apart and…”
But then she had recognized it. The way he was looking down at her: a way that left no room to any doubts of sort on what he was craving and once again a swift rush of heat followed. And it was worryingly thrilling how it was making her feel. Even like this, even right now, with Katie lurking out there, and David waiting for them on set and…
“There’s just a slight problem….” he had whispered so, his eyes slipping on her lips.
She had stalled, staring up to his eyes, but it wasn’t clear to her what was she asking that for if she knew the answer already, “Which one?”
His stare had met hers, briefly then lowered down to her lips again, “I think I’m experiencing a fallout….” he had said under his breath, bending down.
And then she just wanted to have another bit, another taste at it.
Just for one second.
Just one last time…
It all had felt very much like that to him then.
Very much like when you’re still so young and everything is still so new and with that very same sense of an incoherent blend between happiness, fear, anxiety and desire just mixing inside you and stirring up alternately, blowing your mind over. You don't come across that many people with the ability to give you that. Not even remotely. So how was he supposed to hold back and just prevent himself from feeling what he felt? How?
It had been impossible…
“Liz?! Have you said something?!”
She had broke apart, once more, moving her lips away, Only this time it had lasted so short, she hadn’t been able to watch her tone that much, “YES I DID!!! I said I’m coming!!!”
Katie had let herself drop against the door, making a deaf thud “Ok sorry…I was just checking…”
She had sensed him sparing a sideways grin to that, as he went seizing her hands to clutch her to him and kiss her hair.
She had pushed him away, though this time sighing. This all situation was driving her insane, “Hugh, seriously…you need to go…”
“…anyway no need to get touchy”
She had kept on trying to keep him at a distance, turning to Katie “No sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!!!! Hold on…”
He had smirked and kissed the tip of her nose without moving, “Yes you did…” he had chuckled. It sounded like he was sort of proud of it. It hadn’t made sense to her in that moment.
“Hugh please…no, I didn’t…go…”
He had kissed her brows.
“Hugh…out…”
He had stroked her neck, kissing her cheek, so she had shot him a look, trying to make him turn around, “Hugh please, stop…”
He had dropped his shoulders at the point, pretending to be putting up little fight against her decision, the sudden innocent look of kid dancing in his eyes “Seriously?! You give me the look?! How am I supposed to?! Come on just let her in and…”
“And what?!” she had cut him off without thinking “Have a threesome?!” she had hissed.
His smile had broadened. She wished she wouldn’t have done that. It was impossible resisting to him when he smiled like that, let alone right there.
“I love that you always keep you spirit…” he had said.
She had started to push him away, making him walk backwards ignoring him.
His lips had twitched at the corners, “…but does this really sound like the most convenient time to make up sexual jokes to you…seriously?!” he had said, as his smile changed into a captivated lopsided grin.
She had had to purse her lips, the desire to allow herself to smile stirring inside ever so stronger, “There was a time you would blush to something like that…you know” she had whispered, arching her brows at him “…rather than smiling so much to it…”
He had gone to grab her hands, smirking “Does that mean you hoped that would knock me out dead?! Oh boy you’re so wrong…” he had managed to draw her close to him “I had quite some more unsettling cheap-shots from you…”
She had shaken her head, staring up at him, her arms bent against his chest. But her lips were curling “Who the hell are you?!”
Greg was still harassing him with a series of concerns he wasn’t quite sure he was getting the point of. He glanced down at his watch wondering why on earth they had him sneaking out that furtively and hurriedly so much ahead in time if they were planning to waste so long in such small talks for a fifteen minutes scene at the utmost.
He chewed his bottom lips, rubbing his nape, a lot of blood suddenly going rushing about in his head as he tried very hard not to picture none of the rather-unsettling-in-quite-too-much-of-an-engaging-way-and-certainly-in-no-way-relaxing-alternative scenarios to this huge waste of time that kept on shaping up inside his head. And they all caught up from the moment he had left, just starting from that last minute interruption or so…
He had simply kept smiling.
“Anyway how long does it take you yet exactly??”
Lisa had heaved another sigh, struggling to shove him away “Yes, no…I mean I’m coming!! I’ve stepped out!!!”
He had laughed, quietly “I was willing to let you go you know…but then how can I do that if you keep being so adorable…” he had searched for her lips “…and then kiss me like that?”
She had lowered her stare, fighting another little smile that pushed to erupt on her face. She didn’t know what was happening to her, really.
She ought to stop this, “Hugh…out!!!” but it was like whatever she had been feeling up to a few hours ago, whatever had got coiled inside her all day long, was now slowly draining out of her system. Not even very much that slowly anymore. It felt like she had been almost been swept off to another dimension. Bit after bit all the fighting emotions she had been piling up were simply going away.
She had had to make a huge effort to force herself to go whole hog with kicking him out and through the nearest window available then, before it all got even much further out of control, all over again.
He had let her thrust him aside for real this time, only wouldn’t stop kissing ever inch of her face, smiling, as if he was loving this by bits.
Katie had banged her head against the door, “You really are quite a slow showering person, are you??”
Lisa was struggling for him to haul himself onto the window. But he wasn’t going to stop trying. He just couldn’t help it.
“You two both… for the record…” Katie had kept on. But neither of them was giving any weight to her words “…He just texted me. He can’t see how come Hugh isn’t on set either yet…”
Lisa was too busy at turning her head away from his kisses…
He was too busy at kissing her…
“He’s gonna ask my head for this…”
She kept trying to wriggle out of him, unsuccessfully “…just let me…” she had sighed, pushing him out “just let me…wrap a towel around my hair…”
He had let her finally manage to have him sit astride on the window, smiling amused at her attempts, but as soon as she had relaxed her guard he had been faster and grabbed her by her waist, drawn her to him and started to kiss her on her neck, playfully.
Katie’s head had sounded like banging against the door, once again.
He really just wished she might magically evaporate.
“Why is the door locked by the way?!”
He had heard her gasping silently as his lips brushed slowly across her skin. God knows how much effort it was costing him pretending to be so much in control, as if he knew exactly what he was doing, when in truth he was already feeling ravished by the thought of her, just intoxicated, and yet by now back enjoying the simple feeling of desiring her.
“I was showering!!!” she had yelled her back closing her eyes. His lips had nuzzled into her neck curling into a slight smile at that point: her neckline was staring to move following his kisses, giving in to them, slowly.
“It’s the middle of the night…you know…” she had panted.
He had started to trace his way down to her base of her throat…
“…one can’t…even” she had shivered
Up again along her neck.…
“…be…safe…“, she had panted.
He had reached the corner of her mouth.
“…enough…” she had trailed off.
And then she turned her head again and they were back kissing full mouth, just like he had craved so much, her hands reaching to his face, pulling him at her as if there might be any possible way for them to be closer and yet at the same time feeling desperate to push him away, somehow, as his stomach knotted and he sneaked his arms around her, moved his hands up to her hair breathing her and lost track of himself, altogether all over again….
“There’s a reason why there’s security around here you know…”
He had been the one breaking the kiss this time, his arms still tight and wrapped around her though as she opened her eyes staring down into his.
They had kept on kissing for a few seconds, eyes-open, locked to one another, just like that, without saying a word.
“I should go…” he had repeated to her at last, forcing himself to.
She had pressed her lips, nodding a little.
“Unless you want me to stay for real…” he had added with a little smile, as he turned to sit astride on the window. He had kept hold of her hand though, by one finger.
She had licked her lips, staring away.
It almost looked like he truly had the power to make her uncomfortable at times. Like he could stir an unexpected bashfulness inside her, he didn’t know he had the power to.
It felt weird noticing and strangely wonderful at the same time.
“Right…and what would we tell her? That we were here doing…what exactly?”
He could have only smile to that once again and he was wondering how could that be that he was feeling so free of himself and yet so much like he really was at the same time, so all of sudden.
He had snaked his hands softly around her body, pulling her back to him, smirking beamingly, “That we were rehearsing of course…”
A smile at last.
Not the flicker of it, not the ghost of it, not a faltering one or an uncertain one but a real one; a real smile this time coming genuinely to her lips; finally erupting on them and bringing back sunlight making its way through his chest. This was the smile he desperately wanted to spot again on her face.
His hand had reached up to her face, once more…
Katie had knocked on the door “Alright Lisa enough with this showering already, do you want David to make a slaughter?”
PS Just a slight concern on tenses. You know I'm not a native so I hope they are all ok. I tried so hard but it was so difficult for me with all the time switches. Hope the timing is clear to everyone
“Liz?! Can you still hear me?”
Hugh had looked straight into her eyes, “Shall we take a minute for us… please?” he had whispered in the semi-darkness.
She had remained still, breathing hard. Her hands were still shaking a bit. She couldn’t even feel it anymore. Katie’s voice kept busting in on them, giving her no respite, that was all she could feel
“You sure you’re feeling alright…?”
Hugh had ignored it. Slowly, he had started to draw her close to him, instead, his eyes not leaving hers, not even for a second, “Come here…”
He had nestled her inside his arms and she could still hear her heart bucking and thudding and leaping but had let herself fall gently into it, all the same, closing her eyes for a moment. He had given her a soft kiss on the forehead.
“Liz?!”
She had had to breathe in deeply to answer for it felt chokingly peaceful in there.
She had turned her voice to the window, “Yes…” he feeling she must be keeping on shaking somehow was always with her, even like this, even as he was encircling her like that. She had had to gulp “…just uhm…” she had paused, having to make an effort to raise her voice again “…give me a minute! Go to the door, I’m coming…”
A brief pause, silence falling upon them once again. Was she still out there? Some part of her was hoping she might not be anymore. Just like that. As by magic. Just the two of them. For a little longer…
His lips had kept on resting on her forehead. It felt like they were running a fever: they were burning hot against her skin.
But she needed them so much. Just a little longer…
Katie’s voice had her startle again, making her jump lightly inside his arms.
“Alright…”
She had pressed her lips, her eyes tightly closed.
How stupid. She knew she couldn’t be gone…
“We got worried a bit you know....”
She was realizing she didn’t have any curiosity to start to wonder why. Not right there. She really couldn’t put herself into figuring out something like that in that moment. Not with his hands holding hers down like that or with their heads that close to one another. She was being barely capable of helping her stomach from dropping. Her lungs hardly felt like being listening to her. Somewhere inside her she still needed to get used to this proximity. And yet it was already starting to feel strangely addictive all over again.
“How’s it going?” Hugh had asked her after a moment. His lips had brushed lightly across her face “You feeling better?”
She had heaved a little sigh. How come he was so good at forestalling her at times, without she even said a word?
It felt confusing more than the rest at times.
“Yes, I do…” she had managed.
He had started to go back brushing across her arms, then slow and delicate, until her shaking had started to fade. Alright. Maybe not that much more confusing than something like that, after all.
“I mean we tried to reach you…cause…well, you called this morning and…well, you know Dave, he can’t figure out a person an inch from his nose, but…”
His lips had went to part from her face, but Katie’s voice had started to feel nothing more than a soft, annoying whisper in the background, already.
“Alright…” he had whispered.
She had pushed down the lump in her throat, “Alright…”
“…David was thinking you know…he was thinking…”
He had talked into her hair then, his voice barely a whisper “You sure you want me to slip out like this…right?”
She had had to breathe in again.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes, of course she did.
She could feel his heart still slowly trying to ease out in his chest.
“Liz?” he had prompted her.
No. Don’t. Just a little longer…
“Yes….”
“…that you might have had a fight with someone or anyway that something was like…I don't know bothering you I guess...”
Her heart had leapt into her throat to that. She had closed her eyes.
He had to. She ought to.
“Alright you really better be going…” she had sighed at last.
It had almost felt like he had tensed, slightly, as if the words might have hurt him. Or had been it just her?
He had spoken gently again though “As you wish…if that’s what you want…”
A long shiver running down her neck.
His fingers kept on caressing her, lightly….
“Yes…” she had said. Her eyes had lifted up to him, ever so tentatively and apologetic “It’s…it’s just…” she had frowned lightly, licking her lips “I’m sorry, I know…it’s just…just safer like this…I just need…you know...I simply…I simply feel like it’s….”
But he hadn’t let her finish. Not this time. He had shook his head instead, firmly and gone back resting his lips lightly to the side of her head, “I know…” he had whispered. He had nestled his nose into her hair, “I know…you don’t have to explain….I know…”
He had to.
She ought to.
So why wasn’t she pulling apart?
His voice echoed in the air, reassuringly, cuddling her, “I know…”
And he really did.
He really, truly did. He wasn’t just pretending to. He could understand her. He wouldn’t be able do otherwise. How could he? What did a slight moment of doubt count to the rest? Nothing. It counted nothing. They mattered more than his self-centric, chronic moments of lack of confidence. She mattered more.
He had had to get up. They were done with him already. Hair and everything, he was set up and ready to this finale. Greg had just barged in instead in the meanwhile. It looked like had come all the way up to the make-up room just to take stock of the situation with him - angles and feelings, last minute missing lights expedients and so on. He couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t like this was his first day on set. He wondered why everyone looked so edgy tonight. Even Katie somehow had had something to her that had just given him a funny feeling. But he couldn’t put himself down to figuring that out. Not right now.
David was waiting for them Greg was saying. It was 3 am already. It would take them a bit to nail this one he was afraid. He wasn’t so sure about what he had in mind exactly. Katie had sounded like having a whole different picture of it. They still needed to work this out with them. And Peter…well, Peter wasn’t been helpful at all with his jabber-jabbering on this inspiration of the moment he seemed to have come up with. He really didn’t know what he had been smoking but he wanted some, he was joking. He just wanted to make sure he and Lisa would hit this one. That he was realizing - and Lisa as well – that this a crucial turning point, a no-way-back one and…
….and he didn’t know what else he wasn’t pretending to be listening to.
Lisa had just stood up too. She was standing straight at the opposite end of the room now, eyes closed, as they finished putting her on some make up, pushing up her hair, craftily drawing deepest lines of tiredness across her face…
And as he still tried to have some room left to glance sideways at her without being caught, nodding and humming quietly in assent whenever it seemed appropriate, he really truly got that. Just by watching her face now more than ever, he completely did. What else could he pretend to put her through in one single night after all? It was understandable. She needed some time. He ought to give her some more. But how was he supposed to stop himself from feeling how she made him feel? He loved her, didn’t he? He didn’t want to force her into things she wasn’t ready for; pushing things forward too much. He could never do that, but....
“Alright…” he had said after a moment.
Maybe, Katie had still been there talking to her. Probably, she had even explained to her why David was supposed to be so worried for her. She couldn’t tell for sure. She wouldn’t be able to.
She hadn’t been paying attention to her anymore for quite a while already. Something at the pit of her stomach had been writhing too loudly for her to keep listening. Let alone catching the real meaning behind her words.
He had sighed, his face inches away above hers “I should go then…”
“Alright…” she had repeated, but her heart had suddenly raced without she could do nothing to it.
He had nodded a bit “I’m going….”
“Yes…” she had sighed.
“I am…”
She had had to swallow, “You are…”
“Yes, alright…” he had said.
She had nodded moving his face up and down against his this time, starting to pull away. Just in theory, ‘cause then, how was it that she had found herself starting to slowly lift her head up instead, nuzzling her face against his and searching for his lips she didn’t know.
She only knew she had found the comfort of their touch still there on them, waiting for her.
And they had been at it again, all over again, once more.
Her mind had started to swim, incoherently bringing along the feeling she was irremediably gravitating towards something. Something she couldn’t control. She couldn’t help but let drifting into that something.
His hand slid up to her face, instantly to her touch, holding it.
“Liz?! How long does it take you yet?”
And then a moment later his thumb was brushing so lightly across her cheek to make her breath away; as if she was diving into some deep dark waters, only this time the feeling wasn’t that of drowning but the one of tasting something like a moonbeam, having pinning it down right from the sky.
“Liz…can you still hear me from there?"
No.
She couldn’t hear her.
She could feel nothing aside from him.
She was just hoping that the drench of the water sound under the shower would provide a plausible excuse.
Hugh had closed his eyes, his lips brushing across her mouth, “Wasn’t I supposed to be going?” he had whispered.
She had shivered, “You were…”
He had caught his breath, his mouth opening a bit “Am I?”
An uncontrollable riot in her stomach: his tongue was sliding slowly into her mouth, caressing hers.
It had been the final stroke. The one making her walls tumble down, altogether, “Yes…”
And then it was the feeling of his beard rough and bristly against her face; scent of leather and snuff and one thousands different things blending together…
Katie was still there.
She knew it.
And yet some part of her couldn’t even remember she had ever existed out there.
Her lips had started to move with his…
One kiss. Two kisses. Three kisses. Slowly, slowly, a little faster, some more eagerly, more and more feverishly, until his hand had clamped around the small of her back moving swiftly up, tight around her ribs…
The wall pressed against her back and he was using it to bind her closer, tightening her to him….
Closer, closer, a little more, even more; more and more, and some more again…
The feeling of his hands against her skin…
Their breath mingling, their mouth moving together, the feeling her body was way stronger than her mind, that she didn’t even know where his finished and hers started, her arms breaking free from her control and reaching up to wind themselves round his neck and it was not just desire anymore but something so overwhelming she didn’t even had a name for it, and…
And so it all had felt to him very much like when you’re still in your twenties and one day you’re standing in the green-room waiting for your scene to come and yet you seemed entirely and irremediably unable to focus on your next lines and even just simply picture the stage, ‘cause something else - a very much gentler and appealing image - kept on fluttering around you, obstinately but so sweetly with her bell-like laugh tingling in your ears, until you – suddenly and unexpectedly and completely out of the blue and against any better prediction ever possible – right you…find yourself guessing the right thing to do at the very right moment and then…then you don’t even know how’s that even possible but you’re touching and kissing and hugging that very grey-eyed girl whose simple promise of a smile had kept you going since forever.
But reality had to start to break in sooner of later and it comes, pushing between you two: lights turn on, the curtain is pulled and it’s time for the show to go on, but for a while…for a while you just keep feeling dazed and breathless, even faintly embarrassed perhaps, and yet whenever you return backstage it’s all still made of pulling at each other, snatching kisses, twining fingers, being locked to one another and unable to pull apart and yet been forced to.
‘Cause it just the way life goes….
And yet in the meantime there’s always that unspoken promise for more to come that kept on wavering in the air, flaring you up…
“Liz I’m starting to get slightly worried out here, are you alive?”
The kiss had broken almost abruptly, forcing her to come down off her tiptoes, still wheezing heavily, her lips pulling on his…
Hugh had eased back, putting his hands up on her shoulders, as if he needed to put some physical, real distance between them in order to stop. He was panting away, too. But he had kept his face close to hers, their noses touching.
She had tried to loosen up, ease out the thudding in her chest, but it all felt like keeping on whirling too much for her to be able to properly function yet.
He had closed his eyes shut, smiling a bit “Are you?” he had asked breathlessly.
She was hearing blood rushing through her ears, “What?”
He had recovered his breath, almost shaking and touched her face again stroking it, “…alive…” he had smiled, bending his forehead against hers.
She had had to make an effort for her mind to get what he meant.
Yes she was alive….she believed.
At least she was feeling like that.
Even too much…
She had nodded, stunned.
“Good….” he had whispered. His chest was puffing out like crazy.
She hadn’t even started recovering yet that he had gotten some breath and launched himself forward, again, as if he couldn’t restrain himself anymore.
“Liz?!”
She had pulled away “YES!” she had shouted. Her mind was feeling about to blow up. She ought to regain some control, “In a minute!!!” put a halt to this “I’m almost done” she had yelled to the window.
She had turned to him again. His eyes were now smiling down at her, sparkling. They felt impossible to hold. She had shook her head, then mildly as if she herself still needed to start talking herself out it “You should really…really, really get go now…”
The lines around his eyes had crinkled softly sort of teasingly, “…I really don’t think that would be possible I’m afraid…” he had said, breathing hard.
She had inched herself backwards a bit, desperately trying to keep focus “Hugh I’m really…really again not sure we should…I mean I know we shouldn’t…you heard her…she’s out there, I need to…you need to go…”
He had brought his hand to her face, holding it “I’m still not quite functioning to do that…” he had whispered, stroking gently down her jaw.
She had reached up to his hand “Hugh, she’s…”
He had shaken his head, moving her hand away, gently. There was a strange smile dancing on his lips.
She had her breath going back getting shorter, “Hugh…”
“I just…I just need a fix before I can do that…” he had said, keeping on smiling, crookedly down at her, making her impossible to think straight.
“Alright…” she had managed “…then why don’t we just pull apart and…”
But then she had recognized it. The way he was looking down at her: a way that left no room to any doubts of sort on what he was craving and once again a swift rush of heat followed. And it was worryingly thrilling how it was making her feel. Even like this, even right now, with Katie lurking out there, and David waiting for them on set and…
“There’s just a slight problem….” he had whispered so, his eyes slipping on her lips.
She had stalled, staring up to his eyes, but it wasn’t clear to her what was she asking that for if she knew the answer already, “Which one?”
His stare had met hers, briefly then lowered down to her lips again, “I think I’m experiencing a fallout….” he had said under his breath, bending down.
And then she just wanted to have another bit, another taste at it.
Just for one second.
Just one last time…
It all had felt very much like that to him then.
Very much like when you’re still so young and everything is still so new and with that very same sense of an incoherent blend between happiness, fear, anxiety and desire just mixing inside you and stirring up alternately, blowing your mind over. You don't come across that many people with the ability to give you that. Not even remotely. So how was he supposed to hold back and just prevent himself from feeling what he felt? How?
It had been impossible…
“Liz?! Have you said something?!”
She had broke apart, once more, moving her lips away, Only this time it had lasted so short, she hadn’t been able to watch her tone that much, “YES I DID!!! I said I’m coming!!!”
Katie had let herself drop against the door, making a deaf thud “Ok sorry…I was just checking…”
She had sensed him sparing a sideways grin to that, as he went seizing her hands to clutch her to him and kiss her hair.
She had pushed him away, though this time sighing. This all situation was driving her insane, “Hugh, seriously…you need to go…”
“…anyway no need to get touchy”
She had kept on trying to keep him at a distance, turning to Katie “No sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!!!! Hold on…”
He had smirked and kissed the tip of her nose without moving, “Yes you did…” he had chuckled. It sounded like he was sort of proud of it. It hadn’t made sense to her in that moment.
“Hugh please…no, I didn’t…go…”
He had kissed her brows.
“Hugh…out…”
He had stroked her neck, kissing her cheek, so she had shot him a look, trying to make him turn around, “Hugh please, stop…”
He had dropped his shoulders at the point, pretending to be putting up little fight against her decision, the sudden innocent look of kid dancing in his eyes “Seriously?! You give me the look?! How am I supposed to?! Come on just let her in and…”
“And what?!” she had cut him off without thinking “Have a threesome?!” she had hissed.
His smile had broadened. She wished she wouldn’t have done that. It was impossible resisting to him when he smiled like that, let alone right there.
“I love that you always keep you spirit…” he had said.
She had started to push him away, making him walk backwards ignoring him.
His lips had twitched at the corners, “…but does this really sound like the most convenient time to make up sexual jokes to you…seriously?!” he had said, as his smile changed into a captivated lopsided grin.
She had had to purse her lips, the desire to allow herself to smile stirring inside ever so stronger, “There was a time you would blush to something like that…you know” she had whispered, arching her brows at him “…rather than smiling so much to it…”
He had gone to grab her hands, smirking “Does that mean you hoped that would knock me out dead?! Oh boy you’re so wrong…” he had managed to draw her close to him “I had quite some more unsettling cheap-shots from you…”
She had shaken her head, staring up at him, her arms bent against his chest. But her lips were curling “Who the hell are you?!”
Greg was still harassing him with a series of concerns he wasn’t quite sure he was getting the point of. He glanced down at his watch wondering why on earth they had him sneaking out that furtively and hurriedly so much ahead in time if they were planning to waste so long in such small talks for a fifteen minutes scene at the utmost.
He chewed his bottom lips, rubbing his nape, a lot of blood suddenly going rushing about in his head as he tried very hard not to picture none of the rather-unsettling-in-quite-too-much-of-an-engaging-way-and-certainly-in-no-way-relaxing-alternative scenarios to this huge waste of time that kept on shaping up inside his head. And they all caught up from the moment he had left, just starting from that last minute interruption or so…
He had simply kept smiling.
“Anyway how long does it take you yet exactly??”
Lisa had heaved another sigh, struggling to shove him away “Yes, no…I mean I’m coming!! I’ve stepped out!!!”
He had laughed, quietly “I was willing to let you go you know…but then how can I do that if you keep being so adorable…” he had searched for her lips “…and then kiss me like that?”
She had lowered her stare, fighting another little smile that pushed to erupt on her face. She didn’t know what was happening to her, really.
She ought to stop this, “Hugh…out!!!” but it was like whatever she had been feeling up to a few hours ago, whatever had got coiled inside her all day long, was now slowly draining out of her system. Not even very much that slowly anymore. It felt like she had been almost been swept off to another dimension. Bit after bit all the fighting emotions she had been piling up were simply going away.
She had had to make a huge effort to force herself to go whole hog with kicking him out and through the nearest window available then, before it all got even much further out of control, all over again.
He had let her thrust him aside for real this time, only wouldn’t stop kissing ever inch of her face, smiling, as if he was loving this by bits.
Katie had banged her head against the door, “You really are quite a slow showering person, are you??”
Lisa was struggling for him to haul himself onto the window. But he wasn’t going to stop trying. He just couldn’t help it.
“You two both… for the record…” Katie had kept on. But neither of them was giving any weight to her words “…He just texted me. He can’t see how come Hugh isn’t on set either yet…”
Lisa was too busy at turning her head away from his kisses…
He was too busy at kissing her…
“He’s gonna ask my head for this…”
She kept trying to wriggle out of him, unsuccessfully “…just let me…” she had sighed, pushing him out “just let me…wrap a towel around my hair…”
He had let her finally manage to have him sit astride on the window, smiling amused at her attempts, but as soon as she had relaxed her guard he had been faster and grabbed her by her waist, drawn her to him and started to kiss her on her neck, playfully.
Katie’s head had sounded like banging against the door, once again.
He really just wished she might magically evaporate.
“Why is the door locked by the way?!”
He had heard her gasping silently as his lips brushed slowly across her skin. God knows how much effort it was costing him pretending to be so much in control, as if he knew exactly what he was doing, when in truth he was already feeling ravished by the thought of her, just intoxicated, and yet by now back enjoying the simple feeling of desiring her.
“I was showering!!!” she had yelled her back closing her eyes. His lips had nuzzled into her neck curling into a slight smile at that point: her neckline was staring to move following his kisses, giving in to them, slowly.
“It’s the middle of the night…you know…” she had panted.
He had started to trace his way down to her base of her throat…
“…one can’t…even” she had shivered
Up again along her neck.…
“…be…safe…“, she had panted.
He had reached the corner of her mouth.
“…enough…” she had trailed off.
And then she turned her head again and they were back kissing full mouth, just like he had craved so much, her hands reaching to his face, pulling him at her as if there might be any possible way for them to be closer and yet at the same time feeling desperate to push him away, somehow, as his stomach knotted and he sneaked his arms around her, moved his hands up to her hair breathing her and lost track of himself, altogether all over again….
“There’s a reason why there’s security around here you know…”
He had been the one breaking the kiss this time, his arms still tight and wrapped around her though as she opened her eyes staring down into his.
They had kept on kissing for a few seconds, eyes-open, locked to one another, just like that, without saying a word.
“I should go…” he had repeated to her at last, forcing himself to.
She had pressed her lips, nodding a little.
“Unless you want me to stay for real…” he had added with a little smile, as he turned to sit astride on the window. He had kept hold of her hand though, by one finger.
She had licked her lips, staring away.
It almost looked like he truly had the power to make her uncomfortable at times. Like he could stir an unexpected bashfulness inside her, he didn’t know he had the power to.
It felt weird noticing and strangely wonderful at the same time.
“Right…and what would we tell her? That we were here doing…what exactly?”
He could have only smile to that once again and he was wondering how could that be that he was feeling so free of himself and yet so much like he really was at the same time, so all of sudden.
He had snaked his hands softly around her body, pulling her back to him, smirking beamingly, “That we were rehearsing of course…”
A smile at last.
Not the flicker of it, not the ghost of it, not a faltering one or an uncertain one but a real one; a real smile this time coming genuinely to her lips; finally erupting on them and bringing back sunlight making its way through his chest. This was the smile he desperately wanted to spot again on her face.
His hand had reached up to her face, once more…
Katie had knocked on the door “Alright Lisa enough with this showering already, do you want David to make a slaughter?”
