You, with your unknowing words, so bitterly savored by my innocent ears.
Little did you realize what an incredible, insurmountable impact those five words would have on my soul.
Just a little phrase. Nothing big, and yet…
It was like a scalpel. Tiny. Cutting. Lasting.
"I don't like you anymore."
That was all. No screams of hatred, no tears, no whispered sorrows into my waiting mind.
Just a nonchalant little sentence.
Not that he didn't like me as a friend; no, he meant…
LIKE like. It's like I'm a fifth-grader again. Worrying about who liked who.
Like it mattered.
Oh, but it does! It kills me to know that when he grows up he'll probably marry some pretty petite blonde girl. They'll have three kids. I'll live my life, he'll live his. And that'll be the end.
The grocery store light washes color out, but he's changed, for sure. Taller. (He always was short. But now he's a good four inches above me.) His hair's cropped, if still the same shade of sunny blonde. He's more muscular. His mouth is traced in a polite smile, but his eyes…
They always twinkled when he saw me. Always. And now they're dull as mossy granite.
His oldest daughter is sitting in the cart, but she's not more than five. She notices her daddy looking at the strange lady. Who is she?
"Daddy?"
He shakes his head and looks at his adorable little girl. Her wide green eyes are curious.
"I knew her a long time ago. She was my friend."
"She looks like a princess. She needs a crown, though."
He laughs at that, because she calls everyone a princess, and they go on, but he can't help noticing that she's right. Wavy hair attempting desperately to be straight, but a shade of honey-brown. A cute, curved mouth, unblemished but for that tiny scar on her bottom lip. She fell off a slide once. So adventurous. And her eyes… ringed by long black lashes. And a deep blue. Cracked-like-a-mirror-looking, but it added to to the amazing effect.
She has that smile, too. That little dimple that dents her cheek and the crooked-grin-thing.
(A/N: Please don't kill me for describing a way exaggerated version of myself xD I don't really look like this. Except maybe the eyes. So be warned. :P)
"Daddy, was she your girlfriend?"
The question startles him. He tries to focus on the arugula, but he knows she's just a couple yards away. She heard.
"Ooh, look, honey! Carrots!" he teases her. The little girl makes a face, momentarily distracted.
He looks back at his subject. She has moved away, further down the aisle. She isn't looking at him, just painstakingly placing celery and tomatoes in her basket.
But she heard. He knows she did.
His wife comes around the corner. "Are we getting the fruit snacks or not, B?"
He nods. "Toss them in the basket. Don't open them, Leah!" he says sternly, noticing his daughter reaching sneakily for the box. She draws back, disappointed.
The woman down the aisle stiffens, as if she's been shocked.
His wife follows his gaze. "Who's that?" she's whispering, because she always knows when to. She's smart like that.
He shakes his head again, as if he's talking to his daughter again.
"No one. Let's go pay, huh? Before she raids the Ritzes." He aims a finger at his thieving daughter and grins. They turn the corner and are gone, just like that.
Like a snap of the fingers, or the heart.
The woman he was looking at pauses in her quest for vegetables, and makes her way to the pay counter. She can see him walking through the parking lot through the glass automatic doors, laughing with his wife and little girl. He pokes them, and they lean against him.
The lone woman checks out, then is on her way to her car. The Impala is a little messy, but she clears the debris off the front seat and plops the plastic bag on it.
She's home before she realizes it. She throws the keys on the counter and plops down on the couch, grabbing the remote and quickly flipping channels before deciding on Letters to Juliet.
She curls up and hugs her knees. The movie is one she's seen before. But she wasn't prepared for what would happen next.
She begins crying. Not a few tears, but wracking, heartbreaking sobs.
It's not fair, her soul seems to scream. She doesn't know him like I do.
He named his child for you, her brain reminds her soul. He named her Leah.
He has an aunt named Leah, her soul reminds it. Chances are it's not you.
Well, it doesn't really matter, her brain responds. He's not yours. He's that prettier woman's husband. It was always bound to happen.
What was she expecting? That before he and his family moved to Arkansas, he'd come in the rain to her doorstep, kneeling and begging her to be his friend again, one last time. Maybe kiss her?
She laughed, bitter as ginger. You haven't had a boyfriend since the eleventh grade, she reminds herself. College was about studies. Not boys. And you made that very clear.
But really, is that why you didn't date?
No, her soul seems to cry. It isn't.
She knows she's alone. She knows. So she lets out a bloodcurdling scream.
Now she can't control her sobs. They hurt. But they feel good, too. Like they're washing away her sorrow, though that couldn't ever happen.
No, she wasn't ever going to forget him. Who was going to make her?
And if she had to, she'd die alone.
His wife lies next to him, breathing gently. Her hair's splayed around her pillow, and he moves it back from her forehead. She smiles briefly, like she's having a good dream.
He can't sleep. He gets up and meanders to the window.
He saw her! He saw her. It was like she wasn't even really there.
Was she your girlfriend?
That question still rings in his ears. An innocent question, yet imploring. Had she been? He didn't know. It had all been too fast.
He couldn't wrap his mind around it.
He loved his wife. So much. She was happy, intelligent, calm, all the things he had tried to be but never could.
The exception was for his children. One girl, two boys. Leah, Luke, and Leo.
He knew their family had had that L-name tradition. And he couldn't shake the feeling that that was what he needed to name them. His wife thought he was crazy, and told him to explain someday, but she agreed.
How could he explain this?
He flips on their TV. Letters to Juliet? Really?
He decides to keep it on. What's the harm? Not like the guys'll ever know.
But by the end of the movie, his eyes are a little moist. If only…
No, he told himself sternly. Not a good thought. What's passed is past.
He lay next to his beautiful wife and strokes her cheek. She stirs, but doesn't wake.
But then he begins to tear. Sure, he cried. Not loudly. A few salty reminders of a past… love?
Was it love?
He didn't know. Guys weren't supposed to know. After you're married, you aren't supposed to consider past relationships. That wasn't how it worked.
And yet…
She was different. And for the first time in years, he really thought about her.
How often had she made herself obvious? She laughed at all his jokes. He liked making her laugh. She played basketball with him. He knew she hated basketball. She watched his favorite movies, even a horror one she covered her face through. But she'd watched it.
And what did I ever do for her?
That thought wracked his brain like a chainsaw.
IneverdidanythingIneverdidanythingforher…
His hand drifts from his wife's face.
The next morning, his wife wakes, only to find the wet streaks on his cheekbones and eyes red.
And she's a woman. She's not stupid.
She knows the woman at the store wasn't no one.
I know what you're thinking:
What. The. Actual—
Yeah, well, I'm allowed to write sad stories xD
Little did you realize what an incredible, insurmountable impact those five words would have on my soul.
Just a little phrase. Nothing big, and yet…
It was like a scalpel. Tiny. Cutting. Lasting.
"I don't like you anymore."
That was all. No screams of hatred, no tears, no whispered sorrows into my waiting mind.
Just a nonchalant little sentence.
Not that he didn't like me as a friend; no, he meant…
LIKE like. It's like I'm a fifth-grader again. Worrying about who liked who.
Like it mattered.
Oh, but it does! It kills me to know that when he grows up he'll probably marry some pretty petite blonde girl. They'll have three kids. I'll live my life, he'll live his. And that'll be the end.
The grocery store light washes color out, but he's changed, for sure. Taller. (He always was short. But now he's a good four inches above me.) His hair's cropped, if still the same shade of sunny blonde. He's more muscular. His mouth is traced in a polite smile, but his eyes…
They always twinkled when he saw me. Always. And now they're dull as mossy granite.
His oldest daughter is sitting in the cart, but she's not more than five. She notices her daddy looking at the strange lady. Who is she?
"Daddy?"
He shakes his head and looks at his adorable little girl. Her wide green eyes are curious.
"I knew her a long time ago. She was my friend."
"She looks like a princess. She needs a crown, though."
He laughs at that, because she calls everyone a princess, and they go on, but he can't help noticing that she's right. Wavy hair attempting desperately to be straight, but a shade of honey-brown. A cute, curved mouth, unblemished but for that tiny scar on her bottom lip. She fell off a slide once. So adventurous. And her eyes… ringed by long black lashes. And a deep blue. Cracked-like-a-mirror-looking, but it added to to the amazing effect.
She has that smile, too. That little dimple that dents her cheek and the crooked-grin-thing.
(A/N: Please don't kill me for describing a way exaggerated version of myself xD I don't really look like this. Except maybe the eyes. So be warned. :P)
"Daddy, was she your girlfriend?"
The question startles him. He tries to focus on the arugula, but he knows she's just a couple yards away. She heard.
"Ooh, look, honey! Carrots!" he teases her. The little girl makes a face, momentarily distracted.
He looks back at his subject. She has moved away, further down the aisle. She isn't looking at him, just painstakingly placing celery and tomatoes in her basket.
But she heard. He knows she did.
His wife comes around the corner. "Are we getting the fruit snacks or not, B?"
He nods. "Toss them in the basket. Don't open them, Leah!" he says sternly, noticing his daughter reaching sneakily for the box. She draws back, disappointed.
The woman down the aisle stiffens, as if she's been shocked.
His wife follows his gaze. "Who's that?" she's whispering, because she always knows when to. She's smart like that.
He shakes his head again, as if he's talking to his daughter again.
"No one. Let's go pay, huh? Before she raids the Ritzes." He aims a finger at his thieving daughter and grins. They turn the corner and are gone, just like that.
Like a snap of the fingers, or the heart.
The woman he was looking at pauses in her quest for vegetables, and makes her way to the pay counter. She can see him walking through the parking lot through the glass automatic doors, laughing with his wife and little girl. He pokes them, and they lean against him.
The lone woman checks out, then is on her way to her car. The Impala is a little messy, but she clears the debris off the front seat and plops the plastic bag on it.
She's home before she realizes it. She throws the keys on the counter and plops down on the couch, grabbing the remote and quickly flipping channels before deciding on Letters to Juliet.
She curls up and hugs her knees. The movie is one she's seen before. But she wasn't prepared for what would happen next.
She begins crying. Not a few tears, but wracking, heartbreaking sobs.
It's not fair, her soul seems to scream. She doesn't know him like I do.
He named his child for you, her brain reminds her soul. He named her Leah.
He has an aunt named Leah, her soul reminds it. Chances are it's not you.
Well, it doesn't really matter, her brain responds. He's not yours. He's that prettier woman's husband. It was always bound to happen.
What was she expecting? That before he and his family moved to Arkansas, he'd come in the rain to her doorstep, kneeling and begging her to be his friend again, one last time. Maybe kiss her?
She laughed, bitter as ginger. You haven't had a boyfriend since the eleventh grade, she reminds herself. College was about studies. Not boys. And you made that very clear.
But really, is that why you didn't date?
No, her soul seems to cry. It isn't.
She knows she's alone. She knows. So she lets out a bloodcurdling scream.
Now she can't control her sobs. They hurt. But they feel good, too. Like they're washing away her sorrow, though that couldn't ever happen.
No, she wasn't ever going to forget him. Who was going to make her?
And if she had to, she'd die alone.
His wife lies next to him, breathing gently. Her hair's splayed around her pillow, and he moves it back from her forehead. She smiles briefly, like she's having a good dream.
He can't sleep. He gets up and meanders to the window.
He saw her! He saw her. It was like she wasn't even really there.
Was she your girlfriend?
That question still rings in his ears. An innocent question, yet imploring. Had she been? He didn't know. It had all been too fast.
He couldn't wrap his mind around it.
He loved his wife. So much. She was happy, intelligent, calm, all the things he had tried to be but never could.
The exception was for his children. One girl, two boys. Leah, Luke, and Leo.
He knew their family had had that L-name tradition. And he couldn't shake the feeling that that was what he needed to name them. His wife thought he was crazy, and told him to explain someday, but she agreed.
How could he explain this?
He flips on their TV. Letters to Juliet? Really?
He decides to keep it on. What's the harm? Not like the guys'll ever know.
But by the end of the movie, his eyes are a little moist. If only…
No, he told himself sternly. Not a good thought. What's passed is past.
He lay next to his beautiful wife and strokes her cheek. She stirs, but doesn't wake.
But then he begins to tear. Sure, he cried. Not loudly. A few salty reminders of a past… love?
Was it love?
He didn't know. Guys weren't supposed to know. After you're married, you aren't supposed to consider past relationships. That wasn't how it worked.
And yet…
She was different. And for the first time in years, he really thought about her.
How often had she made herself obvious? She laughed at all his jokes. He liked making her laugh. She played basketball with him. He knew she hated basketball. She watched his favorite movies, even a horror one she covered her face through. But she'd watched it.
And what did I ever do for her?
That thought wracked his brain like a chainsaw.
IneverdidanythingIneverdidanythingforher…
His hand drifts from his wife's face.
The next morning, his wife wakes, only to find the wet streaks on his cheekbones and eyes red.
And she's a woman. She's not stupid.
She knows the woman at the store wasn't no one.
I know what you're thinking:
What. The. Actual—
Yeah, well, I'm allowed to write sad stories xD
Don't you guys just hate it when the updates look like this?
a reply was made to the forum post: ICHB 2
1 minute ago by percyLover101
a comment was made to the fan pick question: OOC: Has Boyfriend, Single, It's Complicated, or I'm Working On It?
5 minutes ago by percyLover101
a pop quiz question was added: Who was first to join ICHB who is still on ICHB?
10 minutes ago by percyLover101
an article was added: OMG GUYS!! U GUYS MUST READ THIS! IMPORTANT!!!
15 minutes ago by percyLover101
a pop quiz question was added: Who was Hon's first boyfriend?
25 minutes ago by percyLover101
Makes me feel like a stalker....
a reply was made to the forum post: ICHB 2
1 minute ago by percyLover101
a comment was made to the fan pick question: OOC: Has Boyfriend, Single, It's Complicated, or I'm Working On It?
5 minutes ago by percyLover101
a pop quiz question was added: Who was first to join ICHB who is still on ICHB?
10 minutes ago by percyLover101
an article was added: OMG GUYS!! U GUYS MUST READ THIS! IMPORTANT!!!
15 minutes ago by percyLover101
a pop quiz question was added: Who was Hon's first boyfriend?
25 minutes ago by percyLover101
Makes me feel like a stalker....
OKAY! Here's what I must tell you....
It's 9:30 p.m. and...
I need to wake up at 7:20 a.m. tomorrow...
Soo....
IMMA BE TIRED WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW!
Yeah I also wrote this to tell you all....
IM SOOO BORED! Like Boredness has tooken over!!
-Dies-
-Comes back- I can never leave you guys xD
But....
-Screams and Runs away-
What? I saw a spider...
xD Yeah, well night guys! Imma leave you all to sleep! xD
-Waits- You guys aren't asleep yet?
No? Okay...
-Waits- Not yet?
No? Okay...
-Waits- MY LORD GO TO SLEEP!!
-Waits- YOU KNOW WHAT!! -Bangs pan on everyone's head to knock them out-
-Waits- Sleeping?
No?
-Explodes-
Now that is what will happen when you do not go sleep.
It's 9:30 p.m. and...
I need to wake up at 7:20 a.m. tomorrow...
Soo....
IMMA BE TIRED WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW!
Yeah I also wrote this to tell you all....
IM SOOO BORED! Like Boredness has tooken over!!
-Dies-
-Comes back- I can never leave you guys xD
But....
-Screams and Runs away-
What? I saw a spider...
xD Yeah, well night guys! Imma leave you all to sleep! xD
-Waits- You guys aren't asleep yet?
No? Okay...
-Waits- Not yet?
No? Okay...
-Waits- MY LORD GO TO SLEEP!!
-Waits- YOU KNOW WHAT!! -Bangs pan on everyone's head to knock them out-
-Waits- Sleeping?
No?
-Explodes-
Now that is what will happen when you do not go sleep.
You guys, come on!
This is… this is killing me!
ICHB is my life, guys. If it weren't for this club, I don't know what my life would be like. You are all my best friends. And if this stuff keeps happening…
Guys, I'm literally crying. This is the worst thing that could've happened today. I woke up this morning, was almost late for school. Then, the entire day I just had this awful feeling that something terrible was gonna happen…
I don't like the way this keeps coming to us. It's like… we're being tested by God. I'm sure some of you are atheist, agnostic, but imo, I think these are the times we must remember the good and try to forget the bad. We're human. We make mistakes. It's life. And families stick together.
I don't know how many times this has to be said before it can actually sink in.
But I know this will DEFINITELY not be the last time.
This is… this is killing me!
ICHB is my life, guys. If it weren't for this club, I don't know what my life would be like. You are all my best friends. And if this stuff keeps happening…
Guys, I'm literally crying. This is the worst thing that could've happened today. I woke up this morning, was almost late for school. Then, the entire day I just had this awful feeling that something terrible was gonna happen…
I don't like the way this keeps coming to us. It's like… we're being tested by God. I'm sure some of you are atheist, agnostic, but imo, I think these are the times we must remember the good and try to forget the bad. We're human. We make mistakes. It's life. And families stick together.
I don't know how many times this has to be said before it can actually sink in.
But I know this will DEFINITELY not be the last time.