Before Michael's death, I didn't know much about him.
I used to see all sorts of tabloids screaming nasty headlines about him at the drugstore checkout, and I always felt so sorry for him.
It became obvious to me that he was a target, for no one should always get so much cruel attacks so consistently, and my heart bled for him each time.
It got so difficult for me, that I had to purposely avert my eyes no to look, but I knew they were there, and my heart sank. After Michael's death, I heard Jermaine say that Michael was a gift from God and he had a mission.
I also heard many of Michael's close friends say that he was the kindest and most loving person they have met.
Hearing this, I became interested in him, for not many can remain so loving after so many years of endless vicious attacks,
and I decided to learn about who Michael Jackson was.
I had no idea that he wrote and produced many of his songs,
no idea that his music came to him in totality often from the above,
no idea about the lyrics of his songs were so socially conscious, that he could dance like that,
and he had done so much charity work. I stayed hours watching youtube, listening his songs, reading the lyrics,
watching the interviews and reading the book , "Michael Jackson Conspiracy".
The more I learned about him, the more I realized how very special he was.
One thing that stood out about him was that he was always consistently the same, no matter what the situation was.
The 60 minutes interview truly convinced me that Michael was real,
he means what he says and he truly believes and lives what he says,
even when the effect was so overwhelmingly negative to his reputation.
I have come to believe that Michael was LOVE, that was his essence,
and that after all the horrible things done to him by the enemies,
they couldn't change his basic character, they couldn't make him into a bitter, angry and hateful person
that many of us probably would have become. We hear "Love conquers all", and it sounds so altruistic,
but I think in Michael's case, it was true. His love seems to have been more divine than human
(not saying that he was divine) and with his open heart and outstretched arms, he sent his special love to the poor,
the hungry, the sick, the weak, the unloved, and the lonely all his life.
In spite of all the attacks, he kept his heart open so that he could share it with others to reach out and touch
the their hearts and souls. I think this is why so many of us feel that Michael was like a family member,
that his death feels more personal, not just of another celebrity.
So, now I understand what the world has lost.
We didn't just lose an entertainer, a celebrity, we lost Love, a special kind of love gift
wrapped in beautiful wrappings that were delivered to our door once in a while, but now no more. We have old gifts to keep, but we know the new ones will never arrive. When I read the postings of his fans on his memorial site, they are so gut-wrenching, they bring tears to my eyes, because often those are the same feelings that I feel now. In a way, I am glad that Michael settled the first case, because it gave him another 8 years of his creative productive life during which time he did an immense amount of good in the world. Had he gone to the court, his reputation would have been throughly destroyed by the media frenzy. "Michael Jackson conspiracy" says how much Michael's fans sustained him during the trial, and I am thankful to all the fans who believed in him and stood by him and helped him immeasurably.
I bought several CDs of his (I didn't own any before) and listen to Invincible songs carefully.
They are all so beautiful and I am sad that none of them are ever played on the radio I listen to.
When I watch him on youtube, I feel happy and sad at the same time.
I hope Michael's music will last 100 or 200 years like the ones by the giants of music,
for no matter how much technology advances, art comes from people,
and I can't imagine anyone like him coming along any time soon.
I wonder if true love can be proven without sacrifices and sufferings..
If Michael can be asked " would you do it all over again knowing all the pains that came along with your gifts ?",
he may say, "yes". His friend said that Michael said that he wanted to help children so much that
if the meida crucified him for that, then let that be.
I hope Michael can see now in totality how much he helped the world,
that his numerous sufferings weren't in vain, and millions of people present and future will look at his work
and wonder the beauty of it all, then he may think his sufferings were all worth it,
that he didn't have an easy, happy, fun filled, successful,
wonderful life who could never connect with the rest of the world population.
His art was him, and they were all authentic from his soul.
Of course, this doesn't excuse all the wrongs the media has done, but after all said and done,
those critics will disappear into oblivion, but Michael's work will continue to shine and glow,
and he will be so busy hugging and talking to millions of his fans in Heaven.
The enemies may have destroyed his body, but they couldn't destroy his spirit,
for as he said he was Unbreakable.
I do feel sad about his children, that is probably one thing Michael feels regret,
and hopefully God takes good care of them.
Thank you Michael for all the love you shared throughout your life,
you were truly special and I am glad to have learned about you,