Okay, my daughter hasn't stopped talking about those Spiderman cartoons her and I watched together for the first time yesterday. I'm starting to think she's going to be OBSESSED with Spiderman. Today is the first concert I have had since Grace left to be with her sister who is terminally sick and it's definitely going to be interesting for me trying to figure out how to balance taking care of AJ almost completely on my own and performing three concerts a week. The whole point of having Grace come along was so she could watch AJ while I'm busy with meetings or performing. I know I'll be able to handle it but; I hope my manager Frank doesn't get irritated with the fact that I have to bring her with me everywhere I go and to all of the concerts. I don't know what it is; but it seems like he's upset with me because the music doesn't come first anymore! He's going to have to he used to it though because AJ is what's most important to me and that's not going to change!

It was around 5 o'clock at night and I figured that we should start heading down to the concert arena because the concert starts in two hours. I picked AJ up and Jeffrey drove us to the arena. We went through a secret passageway that led to a huge dressing room backstage and Frank was already sitting down on the couch. He asked "how come you have Alanna with you Michael?" I said "well; something came up with her nanny and she won't be back for another six months as of yesterday." Frank asked "when is the replacement nanny going to get here?" I responded "there isn't going to be a replacement nanny. I'm going to take care of her pretty much on my own for six months." Frank said "you can't be taking care of a two-year-old and focus on your career at the same time Michael!" I asked with aggravation in my voice "what's that supposed to mean Frank?" He said "it means I think you should think about having your mother look after her while you're on tour." I said "this isn't even up for discussion Frank! How dare you even bring something up like that! If I wanted AJ to be with my mother I would've left her there in the first place! She needs to be with her daddy and she is not going anywhere whether you like it or not! She's way more important to me than any of this! Now if you'll excuse me; I'm going to go to wardrobe and makeup to start getting ready for the show."

I passed Alanna to Jeffrey and said "thanks for watching her for me." Jeffrey looked at me terrified as he held my daughter in his arms. He said "I don't really know anything about kids Mr. Jackson! I'm a single guy with no brothers or sisters! Are you sure you want me to watch her?" I said "she's already had dinner and I'm sure she'll be just fine watching TV back here until the concert is over! You're worrying about nothing Jeffrey!" He hesitated to say "okay Mr. Jackson; we'll see you in a few hours." I kissed my daughter's forehead and went down towards stage to wait for the show to begin.

As soon as the concert ended, I ran back to the dressing room to check on AJ and Jeffrey. When I walked in there, it was so adorable because AJ and Jeffrey had both drifted off to sleep while watching the newest episode of "the amazing Spiderman" series on TV. I tapped Jeffrey shoulder and he slowly opened his eyes as I grabbed AJ off of his lap. I asked "how was she?" He said "she was good; we just watch the Spiderman marathon on TV the entire time you were gone and it's so funny because it almost looks like she becomes mesmerized by the show. She didn't say a single word the entire time we were watching it!" I said "I know; that's why I knew she wouldn't give you any problems if she was watching it! I think she's going to turn into a comic book lover just like her daddy!"

***

Debbie and I have been discussing the two of us getting married just as a way to the press to leave us alone. Since my next concert is in Sydney Australia I thought that would be a good place for us to get married because Debbie has always wanted to go there. I don't plan on spending a lot of time with her now that I don't have Grace around to help with Alanna. I just hope that the wedding isn't going to be awkward for us because I think deep down Debbie regrets not being able to be a mother to AJ and our future child. I know it doesn't help when the tabloid magazines accuse her of just giving away her rights as the mother for millions of dollars. I think she's really struggling with that right now and a vacation is just what she needs to relax.

Today's the first day off that I've had in a while because I performed three concerts in a row the last few nights; but I'm happy because I get to have a whole week off from work to spend time with AJ. Debbie and I both decided that it would be best if her and I go get married tomorrow when her flight arrives here and then she can leave the next day without anyone suspecting anything right away. We know that we don't want anything special for the wedding ceremony because it's just going to be the three of us and we don't want anything extravagant that would give us away! We want the press to find out that we are married; but we don't want them to know until Debbie flies back to the United States that way she will have enough time to figure out if she's going to hide from the photographers and paparazzi. She really dislikes all the attention she has been getting since everyone found out that she's pregnant with my second child. I feel so bad for her and I wish there was something that I could do to make it better.

***

I stood there waiting in a small room with a priest and waited for Debbie to arrive. I picked up AJ and asked "are you excited for daddy to get married?" She said "yeah and then we can go back to the hotel to watch more Spiderman shows daddy!" I chuckled and said "you love Spiderman; don't you?" A few minutes later, Debbie walked into the room wearing a black dress with a very visible baby bump that is getting bigger every day. She said "hi guys; sorry I'm late! My flight got delayed and I was worried you would think that I stood you up Michael!" I said "I would never think that about you Debbie!" She said "hi Alanna; it's nice to see you again!" AJ looked at me irritated and I said "she likes to be called AJ instead of Alanna."

After we had said our vows, we signed the marriage license and Debbie asked if we could go get something to eat. I agreed and had Jeffrey shut down a restaurant; so AJ wouldn't have to worry about being able to eat with a mask on. We sat down at a table in a seafood restaurant and AJ started to throw the silverware on the ground. I picked it up, but of course she threw it again. I said "you need to stop doing that AJ or else you are going to go to timeout when we get back to the hotel room. Do you understand?" She looked at me and tossed another fork on the ground. I tried my best to ignore it because I think Debbie was a little shocked by our child's behavior. Debbie asked "does she normally act like this Michael?" I said "yes; all the time" as I glanced down at the menu.

AJ threw the last spoon she could reach and it almost hit me in the face. I said "just because we are in a restaurant doesn't mean you can't have a timeout AJ." I took her out of the booster seat and placed her in the corner of the room. She gave me a dirty look as I sat down a few feet away at the table. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have followed through with the timeout in public because of all the people that would've been watching us. I was already embarrassed because Debbie got to witness AJ's typical behavior and I didn't want it to affect how she saw me as a parent. I try my best to get AJ to listen to me without having to discipline her; but nothing ever works!

I walked over to AJ and stood her up on her feet. I said "I want an apology from you!" She refused to answer me at first and then I said "I'm waiting AJ." She said with an attitude "sorry!" I said "you need to say it nicer and mean it AJ." She said "I'm sorry." I hugged her as we walked back to the table and the waitress brought us our food. Debbie smiled and chuckled as she stared down at me cutting AJ's chicken fingers. I laughed as I asked "what's so funny?" She said sarcastically "could you cut those any smaller Mike?" I said "I just like to be extra careful because I don't want her to choke on it!" She continued to laugh and said "I understand that part; but those pieces are so small she's not even going to need to chew them! She can just swallow them whole!" I joked "yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm a little too overprotective of her; but it's better to be safe than sorry!"

***

Yesterday was the last concert in the first leg of my "history" world tour and I have a four-month long break before the tour starts up again. Grace ended up calling last night and said that she would be returning back to work probably by the time my son is born. That's about five months away from now and it doesn't really bother me because I like it when it's just AJ and I because we have more time to bond then we normally would.

I woke up around 6 AM because our flight back to Neverland ranch is going to leave in a little while. I went off into the other section of the hotel room where AJ was still fast asleep. I picked her up and noticed that she felt warm. I wasn't surprised because I thought I heard her coughing last night; so she's probably just coming down with a cold. I tried my best not to wake her up because she looked exhausted. I knew that Jeffrey had a private jet waiting for us at the airport and that hopefully AJ would sleep the entire time on the airplane. I wanted to pack cough medicine inside the suitcase; but I knew that they would allow me to bring it with us when we leave airport to board the plane.

I had no choice but to wake my sleeping daughter, so she could take the medicine before we left the hotel. She opened her eyes as I sat her up on the couch. I knew this was going to be a battle because AJ HATES the taste of medicine. I have to say that I can't blame her for not wanting to take it because cherry flavored medicine is probably the most disgusting out of all the flavors. The second she saw me trying to quickly and discreetly give her the medicine, she immediately pulled away. I felt terrible having to hold her down; but that was my only option because time was running out.

She immediately reached for the cup on the coffee table and started drinking as fast as she could. I ran out the door with her in my arms and to a car was waiting outside the hotel to take us to the airport. When we finally boarded the private jet, I was prepared to do whatever it took to keep AJ entertained for the 3 1/2 hour flight back to California. I asked "what you want to do?" She said "watch Spiderman daddy!" I really didn't want to watch Spiderman again because we had been watching it nonstop for days and deep down it was driving me crazy! I asked "you don't want to watch a Disney movie instead AJ?" She said "no thank you; I want to watch Spiderman daddy!" I reluctantly put one of the Spiderman cartoons DVDs on the portable disc player and found myself starting to drift off to sleep.

As my eyes started to shut, I was startled awake by a loud sneeze and saw that AJ had completely sneezed everywhere. I looked at my manager Frank and asked "do you have any tissues on you?" Frank laughed and asked "what makes you think that I would have tissues?" I said "I don't know!" As I searched desperately for something, I decided to throw caution to the wind and use my shirt sleeve. Jeffrey looked at me in disgust as I cleaned my daughter's face with my red button-down sleeve and he said "that's so gross! How can you do that Michael?" I said "one thing you should know about parenting Jeffrey is that sometimes it can be a dirty job! You just have to learn not to worry about germs too much when you're a parent! I remember that I used to be just as grossed out about this stuff as you are right now; but I got used to it!"

Of course the paparazzi waiting at the airport happened to take a picture of my snot covered sleeve; but what do I care? It's all part of being a dad! I was just glad that in a matter of minutes we would be home. As we walked into the house, I could tell AJ was happy to be back in familiar surroundings because she immediately asked "we aren't leaving here for a while; right daddy?" I said "not until after Christmas and your brother is born! Trust me; I don't like leaving here either! If it were up to me we would have never left in the first place! You and I are just going to have to enjoy the time here while we have it!"

***

I'm so glad AJ and I are back home finally! I've actually been thinking of some fun things the two of us can do together before my son is born because then I will have to give attention to the both of them. My mother wants me to have a family reunion for all of us to get back together and catch up on what's been going on in our lives; but I'm not sure I like that idea! I love my father and I wouldn't want to leave him out of it; but I just can't deal with all the pain he has caused me emotionally and physically through the years! I hate how the rest of my family refuse to acknowledge how downright wrong it was for Joseph to treat us that way! That's part of the reason why I don't like having AJ around the majority of my family members because they are in some serious denial and I don't find them the most trustworthy of people. As a matter of fact, I don't really know if there's anybody in my inner circle that I can really trust! With the exception of my daughter; but she's only two years old so that doesn't really count!

AJ was looking at a book as she sat on the living room couch and I sat down next to her. I asked "are you excited to meet your baby brother in about five months?" She responded "yes; what's his name daddy?" I said "I think I'm going to name him Prince Michael." I said "I can't wait to show him how to do stuff!" I said "that'll be fun; but you'll have to wait until he's a little bit older because he is not going to be able to do much right after he is born." I try my best to explain it to her; but she's understandably confused by the whole concept of being an older sister. I don't think she really understands that there is going to be another child in the house that is going to be in need of most of my attention and time. I'm hoping she will be ready enough for all of this; but I'm not going to force it.

***

Since we just got home from the tour a few days ago, my mother has been begging me to let her watch AJ for a couple of hours. I agreed because I needed to do some shopping and AJ always makes it difficult because she always wants something in the store. I just hope that my mother listens to me about not having Joseph at the house while AJ is there. Instead of having my mother watch her at her house, I had her come over to Neverland because then Jeffrey would say something if Joseph decided to come by. I gave Jeffrey strict instructions not to let my father onto the property under any circumstances! I know I have nothing to worry about because Jeffrey has always been a loyal bodyguard and I feel like he's one of the few people that I can trust with anything; especially my daughter!

I was so glad to be able to go shopping by myself for once because Jeffrey had called the store in advance to make sure that no customers would be allowed in the store or the parking lot. I entered the store, which was the famous persons version of Walmart and I immediately was greeted by the manager. He shook my hand and said "I'm so glad that you decided to shop here Mr. Jackson! If there's anything we can help you with, please let us know!" I said "I appreciate the accommodations you have made for me here and I've heard your service is very well liked."

I didn't really have anything in particular that I was looking for; so I started to just walk down the aisles. I had already purchased so many things for my unborn son and I was beginning to worry that AJ would start to feel unimportant. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an entire aisle dedicated completely to Spiderman and I had to check it out. There was everything you could possibly imagine! I walked backwards that way I would be able to see better and noticed that I had accidentally pulled something down from the bottom shelf with my foot. I picked it up and grinned as I saw a tiny pair of Spiderman boxer shorts. I was about to put them back on the shelf when I hesitated and looked at them once more. I seemed to have a flashback of when Latoya and I almost got into an argument about me holding AJ back.

I threw the boxers into the cart and grabbed another six pack of them; before asking the manager for assistance. I walked up to him and asked "do you have anything for first-time parents who are toilet training?" He directed me towards the back section of the store and I was extremely confused. There was, books, dolls, and chairs; which only worsened my confusion. I just started throwing anything I could grab into the shopping cart and hoped that I had gotten everything I needed.

After putting AJ in her room for the rest of the night, I started to read one of the parenting books I had bought earlier today and I don't know what came over me. I started to cry and as tears hit the pages of the book I slammed it shut. I said to myself "she's not going to be considered baby anymore after all this! I can't believe that all this time has gone by! I wish that I was here more. I didn't want to go on tour again; but financially it was the best decision I could've made! I just feel like I'm losing a grip on that part of AJ's life because it's pretty much over and there's nothing I can do about it! Who knew that it would take me until this point to realize how much I've actually missed out on when it comes to AJ!" I sighed and the last few tears streamed off of my face. I chuckled and said "on the positive side of things, I guess this means I won't have to change diapers until my son is born." I looked at the pile of random things in the corner of my bedroom and chuckled as I said "what the heck did I get myself into?"

***

I woke up this morning and looked at the clock sitting next to me on the nightstand to see that it was only 8 o'clock; about an hour before AJ usually wakes up. I rubbed my eyes and stared in the corner of my bedroom; remembering all that I had purchased yesterday. After getting ready for the day, I grabbed the pile of things and brought them downstairs. I took everything into the living room and put it down on the floor. I sat down on the couch and started to have second thoughts about this whole toilet training thing. I know that she's probably more than ready for this; but I don't know if I'm ready to let go of the years where AJ is completely dependent upon me!

I heard a very soft sounding "daddy" coming from upstairs; so I went to the bottom of the steps and watched as my daughter walked down them. Once she reached the bottom step, I picked her up and said "good morning!" I was about to walk into the living room with her in my arms when I decided that we should probably have breakfast first. AJ asked "can you make your French toast for breakfast daddy?" AJ rarely ever asks me to cook anything in particular and because I had a feeling that today is going to be a very long day, I said "of course I can!" I set her down and she ran off into the play room. Before I even had a chance to get the proper ingredients needed to make French toast out of the refrigerator, AJ asked "can you come put cartoons on for me please?" I said "I sure can" and went into the play room to do so.

After I had brought the food to the table, I sat down next to AJ and helped her cut her food. It was quite silent for the first few minutes that we sat there eating and then I decided to start a conversation. I asked "are you excited to be a big sister in a few months?" She responded "yeah; I can't wait!" I said "I can't believe you're going to be three in a little less than four months! My first baby isn't really a baby anymore and my second baby is about to be born!" My eyes started to water and I had totally forgotten that AJ was sitting in the chair next to me at the table. She asked sympathetically "what's wrong daddy? Are you sad?" I quickly pulled myself together and said "no AJ; I'm not sad. I just have something in my eye."

After cleaning up the kitchen, I went into the room where AJ was and picked her up. She asked "where are we going?" I said "I just want to show you something that I bought you yesterday when I went shopping.” We both sat down on the couch in the living room and AJ immediately asked "is that Spiderman?" I said "as a matter of fact, it is Spiderman." I passed her the boxer shorts and she said "I want to wear this!" I said "okay; but you have to let me get rid of the diapers! Are you okay with that?" She said excitedly "yes; Spiderman is worth it daddy!" I was surprised be on belief by her reaction because I thought I would have to at least negotiate with her for an hour before she would willingly agree to get rid of them. I have a feeling that the initial excitement is going to wear off once she realizes the difference between the two. I think she only really cares right now because the boxers have Spiderman on them.

I said "okay, now you can't go in these like you would in that" as I pointed to one of the diapers. She said "okay daddy; I won't!" I explained to her where she was now supposed to go instead and she seemed really excited. I'm starting to think that maybe I was over exaggerating about how difficult potty training would actually be in reality. Typically, she likes to dress up in her Spiderman costume most days of the week; so I didn't think twice about letting her wear it today. As she walked around alternating between playing and watching TV, I heard a knock at the front door. I answered it and saw Frank standing there. That's when I remembered that I had scheduled a meeting with him to discuss the second leg of the tour ahead of time so we are prepared. I can't believe that I have forgotten all about that!

He was here for almost 2 hours going over the schedule with me to make sure I knew what countries and cities I'd be performing. After I felt that I had a good enough understanding of our "game plan", Jeffrey escorted him back to his car. As I sat there putting the schedule inside a folder, I was interrupted by an AWFUL scream coming from upstairs. I bolted out of the chair I was sitting in so fast that it fell to the ground. I had never heard AJ scream like that before; which had made me extremely concerned.

I ran into AJ's bedroom and shouted with deep concern "what's wrong?" That's when I saw that she was standing in a puddle. She took one look at me and with a horrified expression on her face, she burst out crying. I picked her up and said sympathetically "it's okay AJ; it's no big deal!!!" She repeated over and over "I'm sorry daddy" as tears streamed down her face and onto my shoulder. I have never heard AJ say that she was sorry so many times in a row! She must be really worried about my reaction! I sincerely said "AJ; look at me. I'm not mad at you! It really isn't that bad! It's kind of my fault too because I was too busy talking with Frank to remember to ask you if you needed to go potty!" She asked "are you sure you're not mad at me daddy?" I said as I chuckled "no silly; I would never be mad at you; especially for something like this!!!!! It was an accident and accidents happen sometimes!!!"

This process is going to take much longer than I thought this morning! I don't know what was more upsetting for AJ; the embarrassment of what had occurred or the fact that she had to take off her Spiderman costume so it could be thrown in the washing machine. Again, I have to ask "what the heck did I get myself into?"

***

AJ and I sat in the backyard as the chefs brought out various barbecue type foods like burgers and salads because I had agreed to host a Jackson family reunion at Neverland. The only member of the family that isn't going to come is my father. Not because I didn't invite him; but because he would rather be in Las Vegas gambling away what little money he has left to his name. I'm completely okay with the fact that he's not coming because I was only inviting him to make my mother happy. I have a feeling that today the entire family can put all things aside and just have a really fun time together!

Unfortunately, AJ has not had any success with making it to the bathroom; but that's kind of expected because she's only been wearing the boxers for about a week and only during the day time because I'm not crazy enough to want to get up five times in the middle of the night to change the sheets on her bed. I once again found myself sounding like a broken record as I looked down at my daughter and said "make sure you don't forget that you can't go in your boxers AJ!" That's the problem I've been having lately with her. She's more than willing to try to go in the bathroom but; she has a hard time remembering that she can't just go whenever she feels like it anymore. It makes me feel really bad because she's being so cooperative about listening to me when it comes to this; but I have to constantly keep reminding her and I think she gets understandably annoyed with me.

As my siblings started to arrive, I asked "how come mother isn't here yet?" They asked as a group "what do you mean? She told us that you wanted to just hang out with all of us for the day! She never said anything at all about her coming over here today!" I chuckled and said "mother must've tricked me into thinking this was supposed to be a huge family reunion just so all of us siblings could spend some quality time together! That's alright; it'll give us all time to catch up!"

I'm not really as comfortable talking with the majority of my siblings as I was when I was growing up; so as a result we ran out of things to talk about very quickly! I watched as AJ played all alone in the nearby sandbox and I suggested to my siblings "what do you say we have a good old-fashioned water balloon fight that way AJ can be included; instead of just having to watch us talk all day?" They all smiled and said in unison "sounds like a plan!" I was really excited because this would be the first time ever that all of us would be in the same water balloon fight together! I knew one thing was for sure and that was that I needed to have Janet on my team no matter what! I'm the water balloon master and she is pretty good herself; but the two of us together are unstoppable!!!

I ran over and picked AJ up out of the sandbox. I said excitedly "come on; we're going to have a water balloon fight kiddo!" She knew exactly what that meant and she loved just thinking about it! My siblings and I spent over 20 minutes filling up over 100 water balloons and were ready for war. I normally would've lasted the entire water balloon fight without getting wet at all; but I spent the entire battle watching over AJ to make sure she didn't get trampled or stepped on by some of my brothers who are almost 6 feet tall. I think they realized that I was more focused on protecting AJ then the fight itself because they just started bombarding me with water balloon after water balloon. It got to the point where there was only one balloon left and Jermaine and I were both after it; but he got to it first.

He playfully pinned me down on the ground and broke the water balloon right across my face. We both got up off of the ground as I said "this water balloon fight definitely wasn't one of my best! I'll get you guys back next time!” I saw that AJ had walked off somewhere and Latoya asked "ummmm Michael?" I said "yeah" and she pointed to a huge hedge behind her. I was confused as to why she wanted me to look at this hedge; but after I moved closer I realized why. I started hysterically laughing as I saw my daughter standing there with her swim trunks down to her ankles "watering" the hedge. I wanted to correct her; but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to say anything. All my siblings started laughing too and that only made me laugh harder. AJ said with a sense of accomplishment "there!" I asked in between spurts of laughter "why would you pee outside AJ?" She said "you told me not to go in my boxers! You didn't say anything about going outside daddy!" It was in that moment that I realized I needed to be way more specific when it comes to this with AJ! I said while still laughing hysterically "okay; well next time when I say that, you should know that you're not supposed to go anywhere but in the bathroom; okay?" She said "okay daddy!" I thought I managed to stop laughing; but my siblings’ laughter made it so much harder to keep a straight face. We all looked at each other and I said "only AJ would…. without a care in the world pee outside! I swear; sometimes I don't know what I'm going to do with my kid!!! She DEFINITELY didn't get that idea from me!!!"