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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started writing it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if you don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest you don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your friends and either forget all about us or tell a story about the hideous freak you met tonight. You don’t know me, if you did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have friends - except my brother....
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1.Stand at the counter and ask for everything that they give out free (including smiles)
2.Keep walking back and forth suspiciously and taking straws, 10 at a time
3.Put “out of order” signs on all their cashes
4.Change your mind whenever your total is given to you
5.Take a chair and sit at the counter to eat
6.Only ask for ketchup. Do this at least 10 times.
7.Make an “important” phone call while you’re ordering. If they ask you any questions tell them to be quiet.
8.Demand to get the smallest super-size meal they have
9.Throw ketchup packets at them from a distance. If they kick you out...
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added by negar
added by musicfanaticXD
"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, said as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry music videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time favorite fast food restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out or dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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1.You abuse our love you lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we love him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our love is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we love be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly love we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are you up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any junk food or soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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HAHAHA
HAHAHA
HERE I AM AGIAN BUT THIS TIME WITH MY SIBLING...ya!!!so WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF STALKERS...SO READ THIS LIST AND IF YOU DO ANYTHING ON THIS LIST SEE A DOCTER FAST..SO CALL 555-STLAKER HELP(THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT CALL AND IF YOU DO I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETING INVOLVED WITH SOME DILEMA/PROBLEM)PLEASE DO NOT CALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE ME DO NOT CALLL!!!

lIST BEGINS NOW:
1.DO YOU HAVE THE EURGE TO FALLOW PEOPLE AROUND(FRIENDS,GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS OR WORSE STRANGERS)
2.DO YOU TEXT/CALL CERTIAN PEOPLE 23/7(AS YOU CAN SEE NOT 24/7 BUT 23/7 THAT WAY THEY HAVE 1HR TO RREST)
3.DO...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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posted by cloudstrifefan
Everything you can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED YOU NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY YOU ARE-Bruno...
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Miley doesn't want her parents to break up, and this may be why she is acting the way she is.

Although Miley wants them to stay together, it looks as though the things that sperate Tish and Billy are more than those that bring them together.

Even Billy Ray, Miley's father, has told her to give up on trying to bring he her mom back together again. He has said that is is not going to work.

“You’ve got to stop trying to get us back together. Our marriage isn’t fixable — we are getting divorced,” Billy told his superstar daughter.

“You’ve always taught me that you have to work hard...
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INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do you always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd you treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by EllentheStrange
1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the top of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy bear and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. you hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as you can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say you were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a random person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive you cheated on me with that whore" and point to a random girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If you are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If you are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz or dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by MileySelena982
1. We only cry infront of you when we
a) want you to comfort us, or
b) can't help it

2. We only wear mini skirt when we are single,
not because we do it for you. But not all of us.

3. When we talk about how "hot" guys are, we don't mean it.
Personality is all we care about. But a hot guy's a plus

4. If you ask us what's wrong and we don't reply... DON'T
ASK AGAIN. We don't or feel like you should know, so
forget about it.

5. When we say we're mad, upset, or angery, belive us.
Because we MEAN it.

6. Do not, I repeat. Do not EVER make our FATHERS
MAD. Just don't go there, okay?

7. If you think we like to hang out with you every
waking minute, think twice.

8. Have you ever thought that we only do the things
we do for you?

9. When you ask us out, and we say yes, our first date
better be AWESOME. If not, read number 6 again. <3

10. When we say we love you... you better believe it.
What is heavy forwards but backwards it is NOT?

Hint: The answer is in the question

Can you guess, if you can, I'll give you props.

PS: Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
BATMAN!!!!
posted by orangeturnip
things that make you...


being ugly is a state of mind

think yourself ugly ... slowly you become ugly
having a lack of confindence...you soon become ugly
being obsesed with the way you look
being obsesed with being what "men/women" want
putting peaple down
being a bitch
worrying
saying ewwwww or not accepting peaples diffreces
all signs of ugliness...add up the signs how ugly have you become?


im ugly how do i change....

be natral and true
one random act of kindness everyday

look at someone for who they are not what they look like - everyones idea of beauty is diffrent yet we are subliminialy told its the same

look for your truth not the worlds

love yourself
love the world
spread some joy

love peace ..... not fighting

stand tall and proud and confident in who you are.
dont let the world change you

thank you for taking the time to read ... this came from my heart and i hope it will help someone out there <3 <3
haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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