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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids by their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if you are TRULY random, you shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever you may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases or monologues or pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of friends or logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if you got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and you can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When you turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If you have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
You cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and by brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in bed and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse Peach was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", Peach told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. Daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by australia-101
added by fatoshleo
added by fatoshleo
added by Usui--takumi
added by BellaMetallica
added by AlannaVerse
added by victoria7011
Source: google
added by Cantwait4book5
=)
added by EmzLovesCheryl
added by h2o-fen-site
Cabin for the Summer
Chapter Ten: Chelsea & Others
(I know this isn’t supposed to be Chelsea’s chapter, but since Chelsea and James broke up something is going to happen!)
By: moolah

    “I can’t do this anymore!” I screamed in his face, tears running down my face. “Stop yelling at me!” He yelled, a fist at his side. “It’s not helping anything!” Tori walked downstairs in her PJ’s and her eyes looking heavy. All the lights downstairs were on and Beth and David were trying to sleep, but I didn’t care. James had come back to the cabin drunk again with...
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"My name is Melody Willgrove and I am a werewolf."
"Now I never found myself pretty or anything I am just a normal girl(well as normal as a werewolf girl can be any way).''I am just a normal girl .Though every guy in the pack thinks I am sexy, but I have know idea why .''I mean what so good looking about me I have deep red hair (which has a mind of it own ),I am too skinny (blow away in the wind to skinny ),I am a shorty (5 foot ) ,and I am pale (burn a lot ).''The only two things I like about myself is my grey eyes(their like my dad's ) and my b-cups ,hey if I am going to be skinny I derserve...
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posted by lilred96
Mysterious love

-chapter five-

As we were walking down the stairs too the lunch room he said"So how was reading and math?"
"Boring"I said he kinda smiled and said "Well..." but trailed off
I was going too ask why when rebecca came up and looked at us she sort of examined us ,I guess is a better word.She said"June do you no if the librarian has a nother copy of that geometertry book I need it for something?"I just said "Umm I dont think she has one" When mathew said "I bet i have a copy at home,you can borrow"
I looked at him wondering why he was reading it in the library when i came in too look...
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