Sean The Hedgehog presents

Dr. Ani (A Con Mane Story)

In case you are wondering, ani is korean for no.

Three old blind stallions were walking alongside a street to a club. They were all walking with canes making sure they weren't going to hit anything. They kept walking until they saw a pony get in a red sports car. Yes, the stallions were old, but they weren't blind. As the pony was getting in his sports car the stallions shot him. Then they got in a old hearse, and drove away. "One agent down two to go." the driver said. "Who are we killing next?" the orange stallion asked. "Our next target is a yellow Alicorn that lives right here." The driver stopped, and all three stallions went in with guns. The alicorn was an agent for M.I.3 trying to send a message to the Central Intellegence of Equestria. When she was about to send her message she got killed. "Good work guys." The grey stallion said, "Now we have one more spy to kill." Later in Canterlot things were getting interesting in a poker match. A stallion named Doughnut Joe (or as he is known in the spy world, Mane. Con Mane) was playing poker against four other poines one of them a black mare with a red dress. Con tried to talk to her, "I admire your courage, Mrs?" "Dress." The mare replied, "Ruby Dress. I admire your luck Mr." "Mane. Con Mane. One more round?" "Why not?" Ruby replied. A waiter then arrived, "Do any of you want a drink?" he asked. All con said was, "Get me a milkshake. Stirred, not shaken." "Ok" the waiter replied very confused. He then brought Con his milkshake stirred. "Thank you." Con said. He won the last match when his drink arrived, and left for his house. Then another mare arrived. This one was Pink, and ran a secret spy organization. She was none other then P, which stood for Pinkie. "Hello 0007." She said. "What's new P?" Con asked. P then told Con about three old stallions driving around Equestria killing agents from nearly every spy organization. "We've tried contacting Sunny, but she won't reply." "That can't be good." Con said, "I'll go see if she's allright." So Con drove to where Sunny lived, and then the he saw the hearse, a '79 Coltillac. They stayed behind Con for a while, but on a sharp turn things got worse. The Hearse got next to Con's car, and rammed into it. Con rammed the hearse, and almost got it to go off the road. A little while later they got towards a road work crew. Con got to the right side of the road, pushing the hearse down a cliff. Halfway down the hearse caught on fire. Con watched as the car hit the ground. "Good thing they got to there funeral on time." Con said. He then got back in his car to drive off to where Sunny lived. By the time he got there he saw a yellow alicorn dead. Bullet holes were in her hind leg, one of the bullets nearly hit her cutie mark, a sun with a smiley face. Con reported that Sunny was dead, and they took her body away. They tried bringing her back to life, but it was too late for that.

Later that day Con was sleeping at his house. It was 10:43 PM when he woke up to see a Tarantula crawling on him. Luckily Con was a unicorn so he used his magic to get the thing off him, and kill it. Half an hour later a brown pony with a yellow business suit walked in Con's house. He went to Con's bed, and shot it six times where Con was asleep. Then the lights turned on. Sitting next to the light switch was someone that was supposed to be killed. "Drop that gun!" Con said. The yellow suited stallion dropped his gun, and stood at Con, pointing his Colt 1911 at the pony that tried to kill him. "I didn't think you'd know about this." The brown stallion said. "I knew once I saw that spider." Con said. "Tarantula?" "Tarantula." The stallion replied. "I knew those ponies in the hearse would try to kill me," Con added, "So I sent them to their own funeral." The brown stallion was now angry, "Very clever Mr. Mane, but your up against more then what you know. You shoot me, and you end up like Sunny." It was now time for Con to interrogate, "And you killed her?" "Well," the brown stallion replied, "I killed others, but not Sunny." "Who are you working for?" asked Con. Now the only chance for this pony to survive was to kill Con. "I might as well talk since you won't live to use the information. I'm working for-" And before Con knew it the brown stallion reached for his gun, and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. Con explained why, "That's a Smith & Wesson. And you've had your six." After that he shot, and killed the brown stallion.

The next day Con was informed that the ponies he killed were working for a scientist named Dr. Ani. He was on an island about 18 miles west of San Franciscolt, and it was guarded by an army of Alicorns. When Con got to San Fran via airplane a green stallion was waiting for him in a white '60 corvette. Once they left the airport the stallion driving the corvette would take Con to the docks. A red pegasus with a purple mane would wait for him on a sailboat. From there the pegasus would help Con kill Dr. Ani, but first Con had to leave the airport. As he got in the car he noticed a '61 continental following him. "Turn right." Con told the pony, and when they did, they lost the car following them. Con then pulled his gun out on the driver. "Ok who were those guys?" "No idea mac." he replied. "Bullshit. Get out there, and tell me if you see a black lunicorn." The driver got out to search for the other car, but when he did Con drove away in the car. "Hey!" the stallion shouted, "Where am I supposed to find another classic Chevronet?!"

Con arrived at the docks intact. He then met the red pegasus waiting for him in a sailboat, just like P told him. His wings were clearly broken by the way they were bent, but Con could use his magic to fix them. "You mike?" Con asked. "And you must be Con Mane." The red pony replied, "shall we get going?" Con nodded yes, hopped on the boat, and they were off. By the time they were at the island it looked deserted, but the two ponies were still prepared for anything that could happen. Con shrunk the boat so that it was small enough to hide, then someone was singing. Con glanced behind him to see Derpy Hooves flying on to the island with bubbles. While blowing the bubbles Derpy sang, "underneath the mango tree with all my bubbles." She sang the same line again when Con decided to chime in, "Underneath the mango tree my Derpy and me." That made Derpy nervous, "Who's there?" Laughing, Con walked toward the cross eyed pegasus, "It's allright. I'm not supposed to be here either. I think your just here to blow bubbles." When Con said bubbles it caused Derpy to go into defense mode. She pulled out a knife, and pointed it toward Con. "Easy. I don't want to steal anything from you." "Put the knife down!" Mike shouted. Derpy had no choice, but to put the knife down. Shortly after that, a boat arrived with alicorns on it. Every alicorn on the boat was white, with a silver mane. The one in the middle was talking in a speaker, "Attention Con Mane! We know you're on the island. Come out now with your hooves up." Con wouldn't move though. He was hiding next to Derpy, and Mike behind a pile of sand. The alicorn spoke again, "This is your final warning. come out now!" After waiting for nearly seven seconds every alicorn on the boat started shooting at Con. They didn't need guns, but some were using a machine gun anyway. After shooting, and missing a hundred times, the alicorns on the boat left the island. "We gotta find Dr. Ani now." Con said. The three ponies then went further into the middle of the island. Along the way they encountered an enemy soldier flying slightly above a river. Con used his magic to get the alicorn soldier into the river, and drown him. They walked until the sun set, when a tank spotted them. It was one of Dr. Ani's. "Con! You are intruding on my island! Get out of here or else I will blow you up!" Con, and the two pegasi then ran the opposite direction from the tank, but then the tank shot, and killed Mike. Eight alicorns then surrounded Con, and Derpy. The two ponies were captured. Later the two ponies were taken to Dr. Ani's secret hideout. Con, and Derpy were put in their own room for 20 minutes. Dr. Ani wanted to have dinner with them. After the twenty minutes were up, three alicorns came in the room to take them to Dr. Ani. "Allright. Just let the mare go free. She has nothing to do with this." Derpy then started screaming, "NO! I wanna stay here with you!" "Get her outta here." one of the alicorns replied. As Derpy was being set free Con went into the dining room where Dr. Ani was waiting for him. "Annyeonghaseyo Mr. Mane." Dr. Ani said once he saw Con. "Let's not talk korean Dr. Ani," Con said, "and lets get serious." Dr. Ani was still smiling after what Con said, "We can talk about whatever you want Mr. Mane." Soon dinner arrived for the two ponies, chicken lo mein. "I thought we'd eat something from your country Dr." Con exclaimed after noticing that lo mein is chinese, "This is the korean version of lo mein." Dr. Ani said. Con knodded in approval, and ate some chicken. It tasted really good. "How come you hired ponies to kill spies?" Con asked all of a sudden, "We have made some acid that can destroy much of Canterlot, and we do not want any spies ruining it for us." Dr. Ani was no longer smiling at his enemy. The two ponies then continued talking about the acid, and then changed the subject about differences about Korea, and China. Don't ask me why, I'm just writing down what I'm being told to write down! After dinner Con found the acid Dr. Ani told him about. He also saw another alicorn guarding it. Con sneaked up behind him, and broke his neck. Then Con set the preasure too high. Soon the entire building would be destroyed with Acid. When Con finished his sabotage, two alicorns noticed him. They shot at him, and missed horribly. Con teleported out of the building to where his boat was. Derpy was waiting for him, "Where's your boat?" "You can fly," Con said annoyed, "What do you need a boat for?" He then got the boat out of the bushes where he hid it with Mike, and the two ponies then left on it. Shortly after they left Dr. Ani's hideout blew up, with the crazy doctor in it. Fifteen minutes after the explosion, Con was stranded. The sail got destroyed thanks to Derpy, but there was no wind anyway. Then another boat arrived marked M.I.3 on it. Manehattan Intelligence 3 spies were there including Con's best friend Fenix Lighter, "Con. You look like you could use our help." "Yes I do Fenix." So the ponies on the M.I.3 boat tied a rope to Con's boat, and started towing them back to San Franciscolt. "Did you stop the doctor?" Derpy asked. "Yes," Con replied, "He won't be bothering anyone ani more." The two ponies then started kissing each other on the boat. Con untied the rope, so none of the M.I.3 spies could see what was going on. The End

Cast
Doughnut Joe.......................Con Mane
Pinkie Pie..............................P
Dr. Whooves.........................Dr. Ani
Pegasi bullies.......................Old Stallions
Derpy...................................Theirselves
Mike
Sunny
Ruby Dress
Green stallion
Enemy alicorn

Car companies made fun of

Cadillac.................................Coltillac
Chevrolet...............................Chevronet
Lincoln...................................Lunicorn