He heads directly to the house that Therion had secured for Sirius.
The single white lily he placed before the door is still there, but beside it is another flower, a chrysanthemum as white as the lily, and his heart tells him Andromeda has been here. He wonders briefly what will become of this house; if left like this, under its own sorrow, it would continue to break down over time, and 'die'. The plot would be unusable, and the sorrow would spread. But under the sorrow of others' as well? Its degradation will accelerate, unless something is done to stop it. What would stop...or better yet, reverse it? Bring the happiness back to this space, this area? Snape knows...it must be put to good use, something that the one it was secured for would approve of.
But he did not come here to ponder the house's fate. He came to bury the stone. He chooses a spot in the corner where the exterior wall and the stone block of the doorstep meet. He casts a spell to dampen the soil just enough, then carefully takes the broken stone out of his cloak. As he buries the pieces of the stone, he thinks of his life and lets go of his feelings; he speaks softly and makes his private confession to the Cosmos. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for not thinking about your feelings, and I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry for the things I did that...that hurt you, and I'm sorry I didn't do the right thing when I had the chance. I'm sorry Harry's growing up without his parents, and I'm sorry he's in the position he's in. If I could take it all back, I would, in the beat of my heart. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough...to do the things I should have done, and I'm sorry I let my hard feelings stand in the way of..." he falters, because he simply can not articulate exactly what he wants to say anymore. He has to take a moment to gather his thoughts and focus.
"I never wanted any of you to die...because of me, because I couldn't save you...I never wanted this darkness...I never wanted to be this...hateful thing..."
He rests his head on his knee for a while as his emotions ebb and calm, and soon after regaining his composure, he realizes he is not alone. His normal, gut reaction would be one of anger, but in this place, he knows his feelings would never be ridiculed. He rises slowly and cleans the dirt from his cloak and trouser knee, then realizes the moon is full at about the same moment he notices the wolf, gazing at him with bright yellow eyes.
But he is not afraid.
The wolf sits down not far from him and whines, as if he somehow shares Snape's pain. Snape knows this wolf, but he just can't believe, for a moment, that this is actually happening. The wolf drops his head and lowers his snout as if sniffing the ground before him, and Snape very carefully takes a step toward him. The wolf should have lept at him, should have attacked him, but then, Snape thinks, The White City is a different world, the magic here is profoundly Ancient and good; it can only have a positive effect on those living within it. Right? He takes another step toward the wolf, making no threatening movements, and the wolf sniffs the air in his direction. Softly, Snape says, "Lupin?" The wolf whines and lifts his great head up to him. Snape sighs and crouches down, and the wolf rises. He walks the few steps to him, then sits back down as if to have a casual conversation.
Snape gazes at him with awe. "You are aware...?" The wolf makes a gesture that could be taken as a nod, and Snape ventures a hand toward him. The wolf nuzzles the friendly hand and Snape smiles slightly. He reaches out to the man inside the animal and finds the warmth of Remus Lupin burning brilliantly within. "How have you managed this?" He asks, and Remus responds with the clear image of Bea giving him a potion. So the Silhouettes have been giving him a special potion, probably since Snape first requested Sanctuary for Remus and Tonks six months ago. "So there is no pain now, no...danger?" Remus tries to convey a sense of peace to Snape, and the Dark wizard actually gets it. "I am...relieved," Snape says, and the wolf gently touches Snape's knee with his nose. He gives Snape a clear image of the two of them walking back to the happy home, but Snape tells him he has to go back to the castle. Remus whines and Snape looks up, judges the position of the moon, then tells the wolf he has to leave now.
Snape rises and Remus thinks of himself, in the morning, teaching Loki something with a wand, and Snape can't help but smile. "Yes, Lupin, I trust you will begin his instruction promptly." The wolf makes a sound that could easily be a laugh, then rises himself. "You're going to follow me to the Barrier, aren't you?" The wolf takes a step forward, and Snape nods. He turns with a flourish and breaks into a run, and with the wolf keeping pace behind him, he shifts in a fluid motion, and takes wing in his raven form. He rises into the air with the wolf below him, and it's not long before they reach the Barrier. Both wizards can see the bright Barrier that now protects the City shining before them, and as the raven Snape passes through the powerful magic of the Barrier, he feels the man within the wolf wish him luck and a speedy return.
The single white lily he placed before the door is still there, but beside it is another flower, a chrysanthemum as white as the lily, and his heart tells him Andromeda has been here. He wonders briefly what will become of this house; if left like this, under its own sorrow, it would continue to break down over time, and 'die'. The plot would be unusable, and the sorrow would spread. But under the sorrow of others' as well? Its degradation will accelerate, unless something is done to stop it. What would stop...or better yet, reverse it? Bring the happiness back to this space, this area? Snape knows...it must be put to good use, something that the one it was secured for would approve of.
But he did not come here to ponder the house's fate. He came to bury the stone. He chooses a spot in the corner where the exterior wall and the stone block of the doorstep meet. He casts a spell to dampen the soil just enough, then carefully takes the broken stone out of his cloak. As he buries the pieces of the stone, he thinks of his life and lets go of his feelings; he speaks softly and makes his private confession to the Cosmos. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for not thinking about your feelings, and I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry for the things I did that...that hurt you, and I'm sorry I didn't do the right thing when I had the chance. I'm sorry Harry's growing up without his parents, and I'm sorry he's in the position he's in. If I could take it all back, I would, in the beat of my heart. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough...to do the things I should have done, and I'm sorry I let my hard feelings stand in the way of..." he falters, because he simply can not articulate exactly what he wants to say anymore. He has to take a moment to gather his thoughts and focus.
"I never wanted any of you to die...because of me, because I couldn't save you...I never wanted this darkness...I never wanted to be this...hateful thing..."
He rests his head on his knee for a while as his emotions ebb and calm, and soon after regaining his composure, he realizes he is not alone. His normal, gut reaction would be one of anger, but in this place, he knows his feelings would never be ridiculed. He rises slowly and cleans the dirt from his cloak and trouser knee, then realizes the moon is full at about the same moment he notices the wolf, gazing at him with bright yellow eyes.
But he is not afraid.
The wolf sits down not far from him and whines, as if he somehow shares Snape's pain. Snape knows this wolf, but he just can't believe, for a moment, that this is actually happening. The wolf drops his head and lowers his snout as if sniffing the ground before him, and Snape very carefully takes a step toward him. The wolf should have lept at him, should have attacked him, but then, Snape thinks, The White City is a different world, the magic here is profoundly Ancient and good; it can only have a positive effect on those living within it. Right? He takes another step toward the wolf, making no threatening movements, and the wolf sniffs the air in his direction. Softly, Snape says, "Lupin?" The wolf whines and lifts his great head up to him. Snape sighs and crouches down, and the wolf rises. He walks the few steps to him, then sits back down as if to have a casual conversation.
Snape gazes at him with awe. "You are aware...?" The wolf makes a gesture that could be taken as a nod, and Snape ventures a hand toward him. The wolf nuzzles the friendly hand and Snape smiles slightly. He reaches out to the man inside the animal and finds the warmth of Remus Lupin burning brilliantly within. "How have you managed this?" He asks, and Remus responds with the clear image of Bea giving him a potion. So the Silhouettes have been giving him a special potion, probably since Snape first requested Sanctuary for Remus and Tonks six months ago. "So there is no pain now, no...danger?" Remus tries to convey a sense of peace to Snape, and the Dark wizard actually gets it. "I am...relieved," Snape says, and the wolf gently touches Snape's knee with his nose. He gives Snape a clear image of the two of them walking back to the happy home, but Snape tells him he has to go back to the castle. Remus whines and Snape looks up, judges the position of the moon, then tells the wolf he has to leave now.
Snape rises and Remus thinks of himself, in the morning, teaching Loki something with a wand, and Snape can't help but smile. "Yes, Lupin, I trust you will begin his instruction promptly." The wolf makes a sound that could easily be a laugh, then rises himself. "You're going to follow me to the Barrier, aren't you?" The wolf takes a step forward, and Snape nods. He turns with a flourish and breaks into a run, and with the wolf keeping pace behind him, he shifts in a fluid motion, and takes wing in his raven form. He rises into the air with the wolf below him, and it's not long before they reach the Barrier. Both wizards can see the bright Barrier that now protects the City shining before them, and as the raven Snape passes through the powerful magic of the Barrier, he feels the man within the wolf wish him luck and a speedy return.