Stefan & Elena Article: Confused by all the Elena hate

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posted by jacieislove19

Hey guys SE fan here, I’ve been lurking this spot for a while and I decided to join to share some opinions (some might be unpopular) But here it goes :). Honestly I get that as SE fans we all would never want Elena to kiss Damon, and I don’t blame you but I think people are taking it to extremes when they start saying that Elena doesn’t deserve Stefan. I was under the impression that when you love a pairing, you’re supposed to love and support/appreciate both parts of that pairing, even when they do things we don’t approve of. IMO saying Elena doesn’t deserve Stefan is ridiculous after everything she’s sacrificed for him and everything she’s put up with to be with him from the beginning even when he felt he didn’t deserve her. Stefan is no saint, he’s done plenty wrong to Elena as well and I don’t recall ever seeing any hate for Stefan or anyone claiming that he doesn’t deserve her. Why is there a difference for Elena? Oh how easily we forget, how many times has Elena put herself in danger and risked her life for Stefan’s sake. In season one, who was there for him after his blood addiction crisis? Oh that’s right Elena! She put herself in harm’s way just by being in the same room as him. She fought for him when he didn’t have any fight left and encouraged him to continue to live. Who risked her family and friends when Katherine threatened her to be with Stefan? Oh right that’s Elena again! And she almost lost her aunt for it too. I’m an SE fan but I’m an Elena fan too, and even if I may not like that she kissed Damon, she’s human, it’s a triangle, and I expected it to happen and IMO this is the best way it could have happened without cheapening her character and making her look bad.

I really can’t get with all the Elena hate; it hurts me to see people not respecting her character when we all ship her with Stefan. It’s like people expect her to be this girl that just caters to Stefan, and never makes a mistakes. The standard some of you all set for her is ridiculous and unreal at times, and you all never hold Stefan up to those kinds of standards. Stefan is allowed to make mistakes (i.e withholding information from her and never telling her the whole truth, etc.) and when it blows up in his face, all I never see people coming down hard on Stefan. All I read is “Elena better forgive him etc.” There’s never anyone claiming that Stefan doesn’t deserve her. What makes Stefan more deserving than Elena? What has he done to deserve the unconditional love that she gives him? I’ve read comments saying “Elena should suffer, before she can be deserving of Stefan’s love again”. This is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever read. If you love a character (as I like to believe we all love Elena, since we’re shipping her with Stefan) than you don’t wish for them to suffer. Hasn’t she suffered enough? The girl has lost almost all of her family; the only person she has left is Jeremy. What more suffering does she need to endure? People who are wishing more suffering on Elena are not Elena fans and have no business shipping her with ANYONE. She’s not some trophy that Stefan gets for being a good guy. She’s a person with her own feelings and emotions and I think people often don’t take that into consideration. We’re first in line to justify or understand every misdeed of Stefan’s and when Elena does something I see way too many people getting in line to crucify her. I don’t understand it. It breaks my heart to see her being treated this way and not getting any understanding from the very people who are supposed to love her.

And the other thing that gets to me is people saying that she’s worse than Katherine or she’s Katherine 2.0 and other such nonsense. This is also ridiculous, just because she gave a dying man a kiss, this automatically makes her Katherine or worse? The people who are making such ridiculous claims have obviously not been paying attention to this show at all. Katherine was and still is selfish and uncaring and always puts herself first no matter what. She intentionally pits the brothers against each other, for her own amusement and selfish reasons, which resulted in their strained relationship. Elena is the polar opposite of Katherine and even if does fall in love with both brothers; she never had ill intentions and motivations. She’s done everything in her power to try to prevent this from happening. Even when Damon made advances at her, she repeatedly told him that it’s Stefan she loves and it’s always gonna be him. She never led him on, or toyed with him like Katherine did. The most she offered Damon in these past two seasons is friendship and nothing more. In the last episode she may have let her guard down and kissed him, but they were sure he would die. Elena being the compassionate and caring individual that she is wanted to provide him with some comfort and love before he passed on, she never imagined that they’d have to deal with the consequences of it. Her heart was in the right place and even though I don’t ship DE I can’t fault her for having a big heart and wanting to put someone at ease and peace in their time of suffering. It doesn’t make what she did right, but it doesn’t warrant any hate or bashing. And honestly if we some of you feel this way about her, I really don't get the point of even continuing to ship SE at all.

Overall I really don’t have much of a problem with the triangle and it’s obvious that the writers will be exploring the DE relationship some more in the coming season; we knew this day would come and I am not really bothered by it. I came into this show knowing that it was going to be about a love triangle and just because I took a liking to SE doesn’t mean I’m going to hate Elena for having feelings for Damon. She’s human, she’s 17, and she’s had to deal with a lot of crap in the past two seasons, so naturally she’s going to be conflicted. I will always support Elena regardless of who she loves, because I know the kind of person she is and I would hope that some of you can see what a great character she is and not bash her for every little thing she does that we may not agree with. Obviously not all of us SE fans feel this way toward Elena and some have really understood her, but I couldn’t help but notice how many people didn’t and expressed such dislike and disdain for her when she really doesn’t deserve it.

Anyways these are just my thoughts and opinions, and I hope we can show Elena the same love, support and understanding that we constantly show Stefan.
Have a great day :)

thisthat12, essetxoxo and 2 others like this

jereimy we wait so much because like you said elena must be different from katherine but apparently she is not, just katherine is more mind open and elena tries to be this perfect girl and the writer try to make her like the heroine but she is another katherine point and she proves when she kissed Damon when Stefan was giving her soul for him. She doesnt think one moment in stefan, come on, Klaus could kill him and Elena doesnt care about that, the same Katherine said it, Did you still interested in knowing about Stefan???????? because elena and damon both betray him. Stefan never did something to hurt elena even when he hides about the fact of she looks exactly like katherine, he did it for her own good, and the blood adiction well elena had to prove that she can be with stefan even with his bad side. Stefan do all these things for elena, he cares about her family and friends, he respect her, he gave her the opportunity of think and she doesnt care at all. She made a huge mistake these final season, for me, she doesnt deserve Stefan and her great and epic love for her, she only want Damon and his hotness and she only wants to be the only that they loved like katherine. By the way this is my opinion and not the opinion of the whole SE fanbase.

ApplePie88 First of all, I want to say great article. You expressed your POV and argument very well. With that being said, I really don't think Elena deserves Stefan right now. I think Stefan can do better then her. Elena is 17 years old and therefore, that means she has a lot of growing up to do. She maybe has to explore more, and I guess that includes exploring her feelings for Damon. Elena has a long way to go before she deserves someone or is ready for someone like Stefan. Stefan is her Soul Mate, but like people always say, destined Soul Mates separate to embark on their separate spiritual journeys. This is what Elena needs to do. I do think what she did in the finale was wrong though and she deserves every little bit of criticism she is getting from the fans. She kissed Damon behind Stefan's back, when he was committing a selfless act for his brother. To me, she cheated. I know that sounds extreme but what she did just didn't come off right to me. I understand that she is a compassionate person but regardless, she shouldn't have did what she did. I don't want her with Stefan for a while now. She needs to redeem herself, grow up and prove that she's actually worthy of Stefan. Because I don't see it.

jacieislove19 Well I disagree with you wholeheartedly. But of course I respect your opinion. One may argue what she did was wrong or cheating or whatever it might be, but you have to see where she's coming from. Can you honestly tell me Elena did this with the intention of hurting Stefan? Like she just decided " I think I'm gonna hurt my boyfriend today" Absolutely not. This was dire circumstances. She kissed a dying man, a man who she knows loves her with everything in him, she may not feel the same way about him at the moment, but she never expected him to live, that kiss was supposed to have died with him. I disagree with Elena not deserving Stefan. Yeah she's only 17 and has a lot to learn but so she may be confused and conflicted how does that equate to her not being deserving? When Stefan was confused and deceived her(whether he believed it was for her own good or not, she deserves the truth) because of his insecurities, I don't recall anyone saying that Stefan didn't deserve Elena and needs to grow up before he can be deserving. It has to go both ways. Because to me what it seems like is Stefan can do no wrong, while the slightest mistake from Elena causes everyone to bash her and call her all sorts of disgusting names. I love both Stefan Elena and will defend them both to no end. But I get the feeling that many people only care about Elena in the context of her relationship with Stefan and I don't think that's fair to her. She's her own character and has her own feelings and emotions. And I don't believe she deserves to be called all those foul names that I've watched people call her on here. Criticism is one thing but I've seen some serious bashing from fans. And even with criticism you can't be biased, you can't criticize Elena and fail to do the same with Stefan when he acts less than perfect. I can understand people not agreeing with her actions, because I didn't agree with her kissing Damon either, but just because you don't agree with her actions it does not warrant bashing. Did you all agree with Stefan sleeping with her without telling her about Katherine? No, he deceived her and has done so on many occasions, but I never read people bashing Stefan for his wrongs committed against Elena. People are always getting in line to defend him and understand him (and I do the same), but I never understand the lack of understanding for Elena. And people wouldn't bash if they really liked her character. The vibe I get from here is that Stefan is perfect and selfless and does nothing wrong (even when he does) and Elena has to prove her worth. What has Stefan done to prove that he's worth her love? How has she not proven her worth after everything she's done for him? If it weren't for her, he would have burnt to a crisp because of his guilt. She constantly fights for him, even when he can't. She's risked her self time and time again for him. I can't see how Stefan is worthy of her, but not the other way around. So does that mean everything she's done for him all through-out their relationship negated because she does one bad thing? So if Stefan makes a mistake, does that automatically diminishes his worth? Because to me it seems like a double standard, one applies to Elena and one applies to Stefan when it should apply to both.

energizerbunny Good point, but I'm still mad at her. Then again I never really liked Elena in the first place. So that might be where a lot of the anger is coming from

deluv Great article. You've raised some good points.

maxlizsoulmates Agree with ApplePie88, Elena must first redeem herself again where Stefan is concerned!

jacieislove19 @energizerbunny Tnanks.. But are you a Stelena fan? If so how is it possible to not like Elena and then ship her with Stefan? @maxlizsoulmates I disagree, Elena has nothing to prove, Stefan will be the one having to redeem himself after everything I'm assuming he's about to do. He made a decision (for his brother) that will result in a lot of people dying from his hands. After going back to his ripper ways he's the one that will need to be redeemed. And he gave her up anyways the second he decided to accept the deal with Klaus he decided that he and Elena are over, and she wasn't even made aware. After ten years I'm sure he knew she would have moved on at some point. So one could argue, whether or not they're even still together.

Tigerlily888 You've expressed you opinions well-great article! The thing is is DO love both sides-I love Stefan and Elena-together. I love Stefan all the time. I love Elena all the time except with Damon. She then becomes selfish, annoying, manipulative and stupid! I thought Elena kissing Damon was completely wrong and I hated her while she did it BUT having said that I still loves what Stelena WAS, IS and WILL continue to be! Stelena is still Stelena. Loving, caring, trustful and affectionate. Of course the Dullena will have an effect on it BUT i like elena with stefan and that what's Stelena is! Although Elena may not deserve Stefan right now-I know what Stelena was before this and i can move on!