I did not write this article, it was written by Danielle Salvatore on fanfiction.net. I just added it here. Also there is another part about Bamon, and I will add it at the bamon spot

For me, Damon/Elena is a very un-healthy, selfish relationship. I DO get the appeal of it, I really do, but there is just so many things wrong with it. I understand why people like them. They're one of those love/hate passionate relationships that even I normally eat up most of the time. Examples: Sam/Freddie (ICarly), Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter), and Patch/Nora (Hush Hush). I GET it. But the thing that makes the Damon/Elena dynamic different from the pairings I listed is that a love/hate relationship is NOT what Damon or Elena want or need. What Damon and Elena crave, as individuals, is an understanding relationship.

Let's face it: Neither Damon or Elena are NOT the most selfless characters around. They have both been selfish, conceited, and VERY misunderstood their entire lives. They've always put themselves in front of everyone. Examples: Elena dumping Matt just so she could chase the new guy (Stefan) and Damon going out of his way to make Elena his "Princess of Darkness", not stopping to consider that maybe, just MAYBE it wouldn't be something she'd want.)

The point is, Damon and Elena have always put themselves at the top of their priority list, until two very important people came into their lives: Bonnie and Stefan.

I'll start with Stefan/Elena: To be honest, the Stefan/Elena dynamic DID start off as sort of selfish, because Elena had dumped Matt, made Meredith and Bonnie swear to help her get Stefan, and even went out of the way to spread rumors about Stefan in an attempt to "get him".

But that all ended when she finally did win him over, and they fell in love. Once Elena fell in love with Stefan, and began to see what an incredibly selfless, and kind-hearted character he was she wanted TO BETTER herself. She loved Stefan so much that she wanted to make him proud of her, and for him to love her just as much as she loved him, and to do that, she wanted to make herself a better person.

Is it a coincidence that Elena began to become a more bearable character to me after she met Stefan? NO. It's because Stefan brings out the best in Elena, and vice-versa. Elena makes Stefan more of a determined, and strong character. In terms of the books, Stefan has a VERY low self-esteem. He always puts himself down, saying he doesn't deserve happiness (because he still carries the constant guilt of everything that went down with Damon and Katherine). But Elena CHANGES that. Elena makes Stefan feel worthy again, and more of a head-strong character. She brings out the PASSION in him, and makes him feel alive again.

And while many Delena fans say that the Delena scenes in the books are powerful and intense...my response: Intense? Maybe. Powerful? No. And my reasons for that are that the emotions that Elena feels around Damon may be intense and passionate, but it isn't really the feelings Elena really seeks or NEEDS.


Elena needs to feel comforted and safe. When I read Delena scenes, many of the thoughts running through Elena and Damon's thoughts are words like "passion", "fire", and ect. And again, while many people love those types of things, for me, it doesn't equal to a healthy, or happy relationship.

When I read Stelena scenes, however, I hear words like "Heaven", "Safe", and "Solace". When Stefan and Elena are together, they both feel utterly safe and happy, and being apart from each other KILLS them (even when Elena kissing Damon while they were in the Dark Dimension, she was always constantly worrying about and missing Stefan). And when Elena had died at the end of "The Fury" Stefan wanted to KILL himself. He was going to take his own life, because he couldn't bare the thought of Elena being dead, and he would have, if Damon hadn't stopped him and made him remember the promise he had made to Elena before she died:That he and Damon would take care of each other).

Notable Scene: “This was the best feeling in the world, the knowledge that she and Stefan were together, and she made Stefan promise her over and over that he would not ever leave her on another quest again, no matter how briefly, no matter the cause.

By now, Elena could not even focus on what she had been worried about before. She and Stefan had always found heaven in each other’s arms. They were meant to be together forever. Nothing else mattered now that she was home.
“Home” was where she and Stefan were together.”

Elena and Stefan have proven that THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER. They need, and CRAVE the other to be in their lives, and they help the other grow as individual characters.

And just for the record, for people who think Stelena fell in love too fast well, that's a little thing called the "Soul Mate" connection, it tends to happen sometimes. Examples: Romeo/Juliet, Jack/Rose, and ect.