These are genuine clips from British Council flat (apartment) tenants
complaining to the Council about problems with their flats
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made...
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