By request on fanfic I decided to continue with this one. Kind of had a few ideas anyhow.
But it didn’t go away.
It never would go away…at least not for at least another eighteen years. Icy ran her hand over the slight curve of her belly, wondering if she should just kill the damn thing before it had a chance to live—before it had a chance to bare her attacker’s face. Frankly Icy didn’t want any reminder of that night, not even in the form of innocent blue—or maybe his silver—eyes staring up at her. In fact the last thing she wanted was to bear a child with that man’s genetics blended in.
And just how the hell was she supposed to tell Darcy and Stormy? As of late she could still hide the baby bump through baggy clothing and uncharacteristically long jackets (that raised a fair amount of suspicion on their own). And to be honest Icy didn’t really mind wearing such outfits, she sure as hell felt safer that way. But it wouldn’t be long before month three turned into month five and then five into nine, at that point there really would be no hiding it. And for (seemingly) the hundredth time since that night Icy pounded her fists into the nearest object in sheer frustration. She sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. Yup, she was going to do it, she was going to march right into the hospital and murder her own child. It would be for the best right? Clearly Icy was not mother martial—being completely honest with herself—with her explosive temper, she’d probably abuse the poor thing. And how could she possibly bring a kid into such a bitter world…a world with people thrice as terrible as she. She was sparing the child a life’s worth of suffering, and that wasn’t a bad thing right?
Icy pulled on her coat and began fastening the buttons when Darcy slid her way into the room. [ii]Crap![/i] “You said you wouldn’t be home until four!” Icy shouted.
“Yeah well Ryan didn’t show me much of a good time.” Darcy complained with a shrug. “And he didn’t even pay for our lunch. Is my existence a problem?”
“Your existence isn’t the problem…” Icy trailed off. It had become painfully obvious that her secret was on the verge of exposure. Icy silently prayed that Darcy wouldn’t turn around until she managed to fasten the last button. But of course that was asking too much.
One eyebrow raised Darcy remarked “Whoever you found yourself is clearly more fun than Ryan.”
“Hardly.” Icy muttered. She was then overcome with a wave of both anger and despair in their most intense forms. And with it the urge to punch something—that something being Darcy’s face for even suggesting she had ‘fun’. And yet all she wanted to do was cry…again. But she held her uncaring façade. One humiliation at a time.
“Hardly? What do you mean hardly?” Darcy asked.
Icy bit her lip, cracks forming in her mask of no emotion. And then she relayed the story to Darcy; from “You’re a naughty girl.” to the brush of the wizard’s hand up her inner thigh. And then to the short while after.
The day she found out about the baby.
It was about a month after the initial assault when Icy felt the first waves of nausea. The morning sickness. She had desperately tried to play it off in her head as a mere cold or stomach flu, but she knew damn well that people marshaling powers of ice rarely caught colds. At that point denial was her happy place. But when the cravings and the fatigue and moreover the halting of her monthly cycle it Icy had succumbed to the truth. Even so she had taken the test just to be sure. Positive. Why was it that this was the one test she had passed?
“Just how have you managed to get to the doctor for your…checkups without Stormy and I noticing?” Darcy asked.
“I haven’t.” Icy answered.
“Haven’t what? Because I haven’t noticed anything different about your schedule.”
“I haven’t gone to the hospital. You’re the only one who knows.” Icy muttered.
“Well you really should go then.” Darcy replied.
“I was just heading there.” Icy snapped. “I’m getting an abortion.”
“You can’t do that!” Darcy shouted.
“Sure I can.” Icy hissed.
“But it’s a human being.” Darcy reasoned.
“No it’s not, not yet.” Icy insisted. “I don’t even want this baby. I don’t want to feed it. Take care of it. Love it…” she paused “I can’t love it.”
“Sure you can.” Darcy mumbled.
“Damn it Darcy! This is why I didn’t want you, or anyone else to know about this.” Icy hollered. “My God, you only care about the baby. What about me? Don’t you care about how I feel? Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m okay?” Icy took a deep breath. “Don’t you think I need someone to talk to?” She added softly.
But it didn’t go away.
It never would go away…at least not for at least another eighteen years. Icy ran her hand over the slight curve of her belly, wondering if she should just kill the damn thing before it had a chance to live—before it had a chance to bare her attacker’s face. Frankly Icy didn’t want any reminder of that night, not even in the form of innocent blue—or maybe his silver—eyes staring up at her. In fact the last thing she wanted was to bear a child with that man’s genetics blended in.
And just how the hell was she supposed to tell Darcy and Stormy? As of late she could still hide the baby bump through baggy clothing and uncharacteristically long jackets (that raised a fair amount of suspicion on their own). And to be honest Icy didn’t really mind wearing such outfits, she sure as hell felt safer that way. But it wouldn’t be long before month three turned into month five and then five into nine, at that point there really would be no hiding it. And for (seemingly) the hundredth time since that night Icy pounded her fists into the nearest object in sheer frustration. She sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. Yup, she was going to do it, she was going to march right into the hospital and murder her own child. It would be for the best right? Clearly Icy was not mother martial—being completely honest with herself—with her explosive temper, she’d probably abuse the poor thing. And how could she possibly bring a kid into such a bitter world…a world with people thrice as terrible as she. She was sparing the child a life’s worth of suffering, and that wasn’t a bad thing right?
Icy pulled on her coat and began fastening the buttons when Darcy slid her way into the room. [ii]Crap![/i] “You said you wouldn’t be home until four!” Icy shouted.
“Yeah well Ryan didn’t show me much of a good time.” Darcy complained with a shrug. “And he didn’t even pay for our lunch. Is my existence a problem?”
“Your existence isn’t the problem…” Icy trailed off. It had become painfully obvious that her secret was on the verge of exposure. Icy silently prayed that Darcy wouldn’t turn around until she managed to fasten the last button. But of course that was asking too much.
One eyebrow raised Darcy remarked “Whoever you found yourself is clearly more fun than Ryan.”
“Hardly.” Icy muttered. She was then overcome with a wave of both anger and despair in their most intense forms. And with it the urge to punch something—that something being Darcy’s face for even suggesting she had ‘fun’. And yet all she wanted to do was cry…again. But she held her uncaring façade. One humiliation at a time.
“Hardly? What do you mean hardly?” Darcy asked.
Icy bit her lip, cracks forming in her mask of no emotion. And then she relayed the story to Darcy; from “You’re a naughty girl.” to the brush of the wizard’s hand up her inner thigh. And then to the short while after.
The day she found out about the baby.
It was about a month after the initial assault when Icy felt the first waves of nausea. The morning sickness. She had desperately tried to play it off in her head as a mere cold or stomach flu, but she knew damn well that people marshaling powers of ice rarely caught colds. At that point denial was her happy place. But when the cravings and the fatigue and moreover the halting of her monthly cycle it Icy had succumbed to the truth. Even so she had taken the test just to be sure. Positive. Why was it that this was the one test she had passed?
“Just how have you managed to get to the doctor for your…checkups without Stormy and I noticing?” Darcy asked.
“I haven’t.” Icy answered.
“Haven’t what? Because I haven’t noticed anything different about your schedule.”
“I haven’t gone to the hospital. You’re the only one who knows.” Icy muttered.
“Well you really should go then.” Darcy replied.
“I was just heading there.” Icy snapped. “I’m getting an abortion.”
“You can’t do that!” Darcy shouted.
“Sure I can.” Icy hissed.
“But it’s a human being.” Darcy reasoned.
“No it’s not, not yet.” Icy insisted. “I don’t even want this baby. I don’t want to feed it. Take care of it. Love it…” she paused “I can’t love it.”
“Sure you can.” Darcy mumbled.
“Damn it Darcy! This is why I didn’t want you, or anyone else to know about this.” Icy hollered. “My God, you only care about the baby. What about me? Don’t you care about how I feel? Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m okay?” Icy took a deep breath. “Don’t you think I need someone to talk to?” She added softly.
