so, i suppose the title is self explanitory...
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Fire and Ice
~~
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Robert Frost.

I glanced up at the clock, even though I knew exactly how long had passed. I should know; I’d been counting the seconds.
I was sitting in my car around the corner from Bella’s house, trying vainly to hear Charlie. He was so quiet it was hard to make out. Of course I would much rather be listing for my precious Bella, but with that silent mind of hers...
I sighed loudly. I was desperate to see her again but since the Dog incident, Charlie had become very protective, stringent visiting times and conditions were in place. I didn’t complain, I knew what she had done in my...absence, was stupid and dangerous so the punishment was earned, but that still didn’t stop my still heart from aching every time Bella left my vision.
I looked at the dash clock again. Only half an hour to go now.
Afternoons were now the most tedious part of my day. I was only aloud to see Bella between the hours of seven and nine-thirty, and always under the furious glare of Charlie. He still blamed me for leaving Bella the way she was, and he had every right. I would never forgive myself, so why should he?
I shook the morbid thoughts from my head. Bella always hated it when I came over sad. I tried to hide it, but she could see it in my eyes.
I looked at the clock again, groaning in frustration as I realised that only 10 minutes had passed. Time passed so much slower when you could count every moment.
I turned the engine on, inching forward slowly, careful not to expose the front of my car. Charlie had become quite observant of silver Volvo’s.
I needed a way to pass the time, but it didn’t feel right to eaves drop of Bella and Charlie.
But the selfish creature I was couldn’t help it.
I listened closely, Charlie’s low, gravelly voice meeting my ears.
“Isn’t Edward up for a little healthy competition?” I heard his sarcasm clearly.
Bella’s answering voice was like music, even though it was sharp and quick.
“There’s no competition.” She said, irritated.
Then I realised what they were talking about. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.
They were talking about that damn Dog.
I looked at the clock again, five minutes left. But I didn’t want to hear this.
My split second decision caught me off guard, I leapt from the car and slammed the door with a metallic crack, before setting off as fast as I could go into the forest. Let’s see how far I could get in two and a half minutes.
~    ~    ~    ~    ~
I made it back in four minutes, having made it almost to Port Angeles before turning around.
I slipped back into my car, starting the engine and diving quickly to park in my usual spot outside the house.
I quickly made sure nobody was watching before running at full speed to the front door.
I heard the end of something Charlie was asking Bella.
“Well?” he pushed slightly.
I decided to step in, three raps on the door stopping Bella from answering.
“Coming!” Bella’s angelic voice rang out.
I heard Charlie murmur quietly “Go away.” But it was too quiet for Bella to hear.
I heard the hinges creak at the door was wrenched out of the way revealing my beautiful Bella standing there with a perfect smile on her face.
Time had not stopped me from admiring the untold beauty that Bella possessed. Her rich, thick hair fell in mahogany waves past her shoulders and down her back. The light from the hall caught the red highlights in her hair, making it even more stunning. Her pale, almost transparent looking skin, was flawless and she held herself elegantly, the arch of her neck and the shape of her cheekbones giving her an incomparable beauty, an irresistible sight. A slight flush filled her cheeks as her heart sped up, no doubt because she had stopped breathing. Her intoxicating smell drew me in, the unrivalled scent of freesia and her strawberry shampoo only adding to her perfection. I saved her eyes till last, sure that I would be dazzled by the mere sight of them. I looked into them, the deep pools of chocolate, unfathomable irises with unlimited depth, but clearly showing her emotions to anyone who cared enough to look.
She reached eagerly for my hand as I did the same, intertwining her warm, delicate fingers with mine, relishing the feel of them.
“Hey.” And her face lit up with the small smile playing on her lips.
Her blush became more pronounced as I raised our intertwined hands up to her face, running the back of my hand along her cheek.
“How was your afternoon?” I asked casually, still tracing the shape of her cheekbone.
“Slow.” She replied breathlessly.
“For me, as well.” Being with her made me feel better, whole and unbroken. The ache of my heart was momentarily gone with the sight of her face and I felt myself relaxing.
I pulled her wrist up to my face, our hands still twisted together. I closed my eyes as my nose skimmed the soft skin of her hand, smiling slightly. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as I had once put it.
I heard Charlie approaching but was unwilling to let go of Bella, even though he was stamping his feet to express his displeasure with my presence.
I opened my eyes, letting our still twined hands fall. I didn’t really want to upset Charlie any further.
“Good evening, Charlie.” I said politely. My politeness only seemed to irritate him, but I wasn’t going to be rude so he would have an excuse to use against me.
Charlie grunted in response, standing with his arms across his chest.
I did my best to appease him. Even he couldn’t be angry with tonight’s activity.
I looked down at Bella, pulling out a manila folder with more collage applications. I was wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around my finger, so the applications could be sent off without delay.
Bella groaned loudly, a look of annoyance and exasperation written clearly in her features.
I smiled slightly. Even though I couldn’t read her mind, the expressions on her face always gave her away.
“There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.” I said lightly. Bella’s face twisted in response, no doubt frustrated at money being spent on her behalf.
I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression.
“Shall we?” I asked, pulling Bella lightly towards the kitchen table.
Charlie huffed and followed behind, but his thoughts were relieved. I knew he had been pestering Bella about collage applications daily.
Bella quickly cleared the table while I organised the numerous applications I had for her to fill out.
I watched as she moved Wuthering Heights to the counter, raising an eyebrow when she looked at me. She looked back, slightly sheepishly.
I was about to comment, but Charlie beat me to it.
“Speaking of collage applications, Edward,” Charlie asked me, his tone that of a sulking child at having to address me directly. He tried to avoid talking to me, so when he was forced to, his mood became darker.
“Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you’re going to school?”
I smiled up at Charlie, trying my best to sound friendly.
“Not yet. I’ve received a few acceptance letters, but I’m still weighing my options.”
Charlie didn’t seem pleased with my answer so he pressed on.
“Where have you been accepted?” he asked gruffly and Bella made a face behind him.
I decided to answer truthfully. “Syracuse...Harvard...Dartmouth...and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.” Most of what I said was true, I just neglected to mention that Syracuse had tried to get me with a scholarship.
I turned my head slightly, winking at Bella at such an angle that Charlie couldn’t see. I knew Bella had also received an acceptance letter. I had seen her move it off the table.
Bella stifled a giggle while Charlie looked slightly awed.
“Harvard? Dartmouth?” He mumbled. “Well that’s pretty...that’s something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska...you wouldn’t really consider that when you could go to the Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to...” he trailed off suggestively, hope glinting in his eyes.
I tried to hide my smile. “Carlisle’s always fine with whatever I choose to do.” I told his serenely.
Charlie looked at me, seemingly resigned.
“Hmph.”
Bella looked at me, a cheeky smile on her face. I knew exactly what she was doing so I played along.
“Guess what, Edward?” she asked me brightly, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes filled with mischief.
“What, Bella?” I smiled hugely at her.
She pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. “I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!”
“Congratulations!” I grinned. “What a coincidence.” I said, innocently.
Charlie’s eyes narrowed and he glared back and forth between the two of us.
“Fine.” He muttered after a minute. “I’m going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.”
That was his usual parting command. Little did he know that I returned as soon as he was sleeping.
“Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom...?”
Charlie sighed, and I soared. Bella was free?
“Right.” He grumbled sourly. “Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights.”
“Bella’s no longer grounded?” I asked, unable to keep my eagerness concealed.
“Conditionally.” Charlie corrected through his teeth. “What’s it to you?”
Bella frowned at the back of Charlie’s head.
“It’s just good to know,” I said quickly. “Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I’m sure Bella would love to see some city lights.” I looked over to Bella and smiled.
The last thing I expected was Charlie’s reaction.
A deep grumble built in Charlie’s chest. “No!” he said, his face turning a deep red.
Bella looked at his, shocked. “Dad! What’s the problem?”
He made an effort to unclench his teeth. “I don’t want you going to Seattle right now.”
“Huh?” Bella looked at him, confused, but I knew what he was talking about. I glanced over at the newspaper on the counter, the title just visible, Death toll on the rise, police fear gang activity. I knew better. Most newborns were blamed on violent serial killers.
Charlie went on, calming down as he did so. “I told you about the story in the paper—there’s some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?”
Bella rolled her eyes, focused of Charlie, as I stood up and grabbed the paper.
“Dad, there’s a better chance that I’ll get struck by lightning than that the one day I’m in Seattle—”
I cut her off quickly, become more worried by the second reading the article. All the signs were there, a newborn out of control.
“No, that’s fine, Charlie,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn’t have Bella in Seattle either. Of course not.” With the way her blood smelt, who knows what could happen. I shuddered internally at the thought.
Charlie stared at me for a second before shrugging. “Fine.” He stalked towards the living room in a slight hurry, obviously eager for the game.
Bella stared out the way Charlie had gone until the sound of the television filled the room.
I kept reading, committing everything to memory.
“What—” Bella began, but stopped when I interrupted her.
“Hold on.” I said without looking up from the paper. I kept reading as I pushed the first application towards her. “I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same question.”
Bella sighed, the pen making quiet scratching noises against the texture of the paper.
This newborn was causing all sorts of problems. The Volturi might intervene, and who knew what would happen then?
Bella snorted and I pulled my eyes up from the paper.
“Bella?”
“Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?”
I lifted the application that she had shoved aside and placed it back in front of her.
“I think you’d like New Hampshire. There’s a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.” I pulled out the smile that I knew would make her heart beat faster.
She took a deep breath through her nose.
I knew she needed reassurance; after all, she hated anyone spending money on her.
“I’ll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy.” I promised. “If you want, I can charge you interest.”
That only seemed to annoy her further.
“Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?”
“Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won’t hurt you to apply.”
Her jaw flexed, and an intense look of stubbornness overtook her face. It was so Bella.
“You know what? I don’t think I will.” The look of childish stubbornness became easier to read, so I saw what she had planned before she actually did it.
I moved as quickly as I could, snatching the application from her outstretched fingers and tucking it safely in my jacket.
Bella took a second to realise the application was no longer there. She stared, dumbfounded at the table, before looking accusingly up at me.
“What are you doing?” she demanded with her kittenish anger.
I fought to keep my face straight. This was supposed to be serious.
“I sign your name better than you do yourself. You’ve already written the essays.”
She leaned in closer, whispering. Obviously she thought Charlie would be listening.
“You’re going way overboard with this, you know.” She said seriously. “I really don’t need to apply anywhere else. I’ve been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester’s tuition. It’s as good an alibi as any. There’s no need to throw away a bunch of money no matter whose it is.”
I was hoping she wouldn’t bring this up, again.
I couldn’t help the pained look that swept across my features. “Bella—” I began but was instantly interrupted.
“Don’t start.” She said, frustrated. “I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie’s sake, but we both know I’m not going to be in any condition to be going to school next fall. To be anywhere near people.” Her big brown eyes saddened at the thought, but her resolve never wavered, no matter how many times we had this conversation. I’d tried convincing her, arguing, bribing and reasoning, but she remained stubborn.
“I thought the timing was still undecided.” I reminded her softly. “You might enjoy a semester or two of collage, there are a lot of human experiences you’ve never had.”
“I’ll get those afterward.”
“They won’t be human experiences afterward. You don’t get a second chance at humanity, Bella.” She had no idea. She couldn’t hear how much Esme or Rosalie wished and longed for children. She couldn’t hear how hard it was for Jasper to be in a crowded room.
She sighed, looking down at the table. “You’ve got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It’s just too dangerous to mess around with.”
“There’s no danger yet.” I insisted.
Bella just glared at me. Well I was overstating my case a little. The danger was subjective, and she was taking it out of proportion. Alice was watching, I hardly ever left, and as much as I hated to admit it, the dogs had played their part in scaring Victoria off.
Bella because lost in thought, every one written on her face clearly. I watched with curiosity as surprise crossed her face. It wasn’t her normal surprised expression. It was more like the horrified surprise that would cross someone’s face when they realised their car was headed for a very big cliff. Very quickly her expression changed to one of sadness, then almost instantly changed to one of intense pain.
“Bella,” I murmured, my face twisting to reflect hers. “There’s no hurry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.”
“I want to hurry.” She whispered, and then in an effort destined to fail, tried to make a joke of the situation. “I want to be a monster, too.”
Any other time, that might have broken the tension. But today, with the names of those killed in Seattle still fresh in my mind, I became frustrated and angry.
My teeth had clenched so I talked through them. “You have no idea what you’re saying.” I made a split second decision, flinging the damp newspaper onto the table in front of her. I pointed to the headline sharply, and watched as she read the words.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked, honestly curious.
“Monsters are nor a joke, Bella.” I said tightly.
She stared down at the page, comprehension dawning on her face, before looking back up to me.
“A...a vampire is doing this?” she whispered.
I smiled utterly without humour. “You’d be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news.” I was trying for shock tactics, and it seemed to be working. “It’s easy to recognise when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were.”
Her gaze dropped to the paper, denying me the only way I could guess her thoughts. I continued hoping she would look back to me.
“we’ve been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there—the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence...Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte...” I took a deep breath. Why was I telling her so much? But I knew without even having to ask. I wanted to scare her out of it.
“Well, it’s not our problem. We wouldn’t have been paying attention to the situation if it wasn’t going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences.”
I waited for my words to sink in. Would what I’d said effect her? Would she change her mind?
Still staring at the paper she whispered, more to herself than to me, “It won’t be the same for me. you won’t let me be like that. We’ll live in Antarctica.”
I snorted, and Bella’s shoulders relaxed. “Penguins. Lovely.”
Bella laughed a quiet, shaky laugh, and knocked the newspaper the floor. The sound of it hitting the linoleum reverberated around the room, effectively closing that discussion.
“Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau—somewhere with grizzlies galore.” She half smiled at me.
“Better.” I allowed. “There are polar bears too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large.”
Bella’s mouth fell open and her breath blew out in a sharp gust.
“What’s wrong?” I asked worried. I thought back over what I had said. Wolves. Dammit, those stupid dogs. One mutt in particular. The only way I could hide my disgust was to keep my face blank and cold. A word that should never be said in front of a lady passed through my mind before I gave a stiff apology.
“Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you.” My words were formal, my shoulders rigid. A string of profanities ran through my head, all related to those stupid dogs.
Bella looked at me, sadness clouding her beautiful brown eyes. “He was my best friend, Edward.” She muttered, flinching slightly with the past tense. “Of course the idea offends me.”
“Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn’t have suggested that.” I still couldn’t relax. I hated these conversations.
“Don’t worry about it.” Bella said, very quietly, focusing on her clenched fists.
We were silent for a moment, and I realised what I was doing. I was making it worse, not better. Whatever animosity I felt towards Jacob Black, I had no excuse to take it out on Bella.
I placed my finger under her chin, her warm skin feeling lovely against mine. I coaxed her chin up, before apologising properly.
“Sorry. Really.”
“I know. I know it’s not the same thing. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s just that...” she became more cautious as she spoke. “well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over.” She hesitated, gauging my expression.



well, that was quite long lol
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