Esme made me supper and since Jake has already gone I was eating alone. It was good that no one bothered me - I had too many thoughts. Bella's question pulled out some dark memories I was struggling to forget. It was a bit like Nessie's touch, I could feel something pulsing in my head. Maybe they were right about the shield? Or it was just another headache?
When I finnished I asked Esme if I can go sleep and she lead to the same bedroom. I lied on bed for a long hour trying to fall asleep but nothing. I sighed angrily and changed my position. I hated doing nothing. And then someone knocked on a door.
"Come in" - now I was interested. Alice's head appeared in a doorway.
"Hey, we heard you turning in bed like thousand times and assumed you weren't sleeping, so..." she came in followed by Rosalie and Bella. "We decided to have some fun instead!" and she showed me a huge make-up bag.
"What?!" I really hoped it was just another bad joke and she's not planning to throw pajamas party.But I was wrong again.
"C'mon, it'll be fun, I'll paint your nails, do you hair, you're gonna love it!" and she babbled what else she might do. Bella gave me sympathetic look while Rosalie didn't seem very interested.
"Wait!" I stopped her "Who in the world said I'm doing this?" but before I could say more Alice's expression changed into such sad face that I was unable to say no.
"Fine" I murmured.
"That's great!" and she started digging into her bag
"If it makes you feel better, I've been through all this" Bella tried to comfort me and I sighed.
"Which colour?" Alice lifted two bottles of nail polish: bright red and pink.
"Do you have any black?" she looked surprised and I could understand it. I've always tried to look like serious and maybe even strict officer, I always chose reserved clothes and accessories, I rarely weared any make-up, but dark nails were my weakness and I decided it was time to surrender to it. She searched her bag and lifted dark violet bottle.
"How about this?"
"OK"
At first it was weird and there were many uncomfortable pauses but later we all burst in laugh when Alice and Bella described their prom experience. I couldn't believe how great I felt chatting with them.
"I'm sorry for what I asked you earlier" I wasn't expecting this so I fell silent for a minute.
"That's nothing" and tried to come back to previous talk about dresses but this time Rosalie became interrogator:
"Why have you said that thing about you not being worth living?" I gave Bella an angry look.
"It's not your business" all my happiness fade away.
"Please... You know you'll feel much better if you'll tell someone" it was obvious that Alice was only curious.
"You want to know why I am thinking this or why I refused to be freak like you?!" I shouted and turned to Rosalie "You think that everyone gives up their lifes so easily? Their family? Loving fiance?" I guess I went too far cause Rosalie was furious.
"What do you mean loving fiance?"
"You heard me. I read the article - you left your family and your fiance"
"So that's what they wrote?! You really want to know the truth? That bastard you called loving was the one who left me dying. He's the reason I'm here unable to change, to get old, to have children..." Rosalie's face was a mix of anger and sadnesss. She could burst in tears any time. I, on the other hand, felt guilty for losing temper.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know..." no one responded "Bad guys always get away free, don't they?" - still silence. I didn't want them being like this, I had to say something, but what?
"I'm sorry, Rosalie. Maybe I should tell you my story..."

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