Nikki Reed

1. Tell him that Bella really is dead.
2. Lock him in a room with Jacob.
3. Beat Edward at chess
4. Tell him that Bella ran off with Jacob.
5. Replace all his CD's with techno music.
6. Tell him that he's sparkly.
7. Do not serenade him.
8. Push him in the sunlight.
9. Kill an animal in front of him
10. Tell Edward that there are thousands of posers on Myspace pretending to be him.
11. Tell him that he smells good.
12. Ask him to eat something.
13. Ask him if he got contacts.
14. Beg him to do your homework for him.
15. Ask him to bite you.
16. Ask him if you "dazzle him."
17. Tell him that you love him.
18....

yea i made the title to be something a little less opinionated, and more open to other peoples opinon. so if you agree, say why, and if not, give some examples of her good side! all i did was her bad side cuz thats my opinion. :)

These are from the first chapter of Eclipse.

pg. 14-Charlie to Bella"You're hurting Jake's feelings, avoiding him like this."
response: HOLY CRAP listen to your father Bella!!! you have got a serious problem, and you are hurting poor Jake in the process! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!? GET..A..LIFE, and leave Jacob out of it

pg. 17-in Bella's mind"I wrenched the door out...

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob—knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

Yes, yes, here it is…the long awaited third book in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It’s been...

I got this from Stephenie Meyer's website...I didnt write this myself!
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**A note: I don't pull any punches here, so if you haven't read New Moon and you don't want to be spoiled, don't read this.**

Writing a sequel is a very different experience than writing a story. It was for me, at least.

If you've read the link, then you know that I didn't set out to write a novel or begin a career as an author. I was just writing down a story for my personal enjoyment, letting it grow as it would and lead where...

    Prologue: after Jacob Black and Renesmee Culen are married, living in the cottage Esme built for Bella and Edward. Trouble strikes, the werewolves don't approve the happy couple living together, Sam isn't happy about Jakes fulfillment with the pack he feels that he is spending too much time with Renesmee and not with the pack, protecting the Quileute people.
*From Renesmee's view

~*~
sUrPrIsEs
~*~
    "Jake, common!" It was Sam's gravelly, irritated voice that woke me up. With astonished pleasure I realized I was married to the man I loved, the man I...

Chapter 5: Everything is in black and gray.
Renesmee’s family were scattered around the room, looking at ease. Her parent’s faces brightened as soon as she walked in and her mum rose out of her father’s arm and danced towards her to give Renesmee a hug. She saw her wrinkle her nose as she pulled away.
“Not my fault,” Renesmee muttered to herself. They all laughed and Alice danced towards her, pulling on her hand. She sat Renesmee down on the couch, curling her legs under her. Her mum fell back into her father’s lap on the floor and he kissed her cheek.
“So you probably are wondering...

AU:

Things I own, a ticket stub for Water for Elephants. Things I don't own, Twilight, Edward, Rob. I think you get the drift.

Okay, I would like to say how sorry I am that it took this long to update. The reason is that Project Team Beta is betaing this story as well. So, it took a while to get them caught up. Now that they are, updates should be a little more normal.

As usual, much thanks goes out to state of delusion for her great work on this chapter. Also to to PTB for catching what we didn't get. Okay, enough of me talking, but stick around at the end. I have something important to say....

Alecs POV
Life was the same. Guarding, the Volturi castle was boring. All of us were gathered in the living room.(the one with vivd colurs, expensive electrics and really comfrtable chairs). It was quiet and peacful, until.. "Aaagh!" Screamed my dear sister. Oh no.
This can't be good.
"This is an outrage! Volturi listen up. The Cu.. Cul.. I can't say it with out wanting the desire to kill.!" She screeched. Most of us were confused; but I knew my sister better than anyone. "You mean the Cullens sister?" I questioned. "Yes! They are all coming for a visit. They will be staying here for 3 years!"...

Chapter 2)

When we arrived at my house Charlie, my dad, was home. I slumped my book bag over my shoulder and climbed out of the truck. “I love you,” Edward whispered. “Love you.” I said back to him walking away. He got out of my truck and disappeared into the woods. I looked back at him but he was already gone. I walked inside the house to Charlie, who already ordered pizza and was watching ESPEN. I threw myself onto the couch and Charlie looked up from the TV. “Bells? What’s wrong?”

I spoke into the couch pillow. “Edward and his family are going away for a while and they don’t...

Jacob Black's POV

When I awoke the next morning Renesme was snuggled up agianst my chest, I smiled down at her, Remembering what happened the night before. I gently moved the ruby red curls out of her eyes and kissed her forehead. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She smiled and kissed me back. After a few moments her face changed into a serious worry face. "Crap, I've gotta go! I-if my parents find out I'm gone they'll kill me!" She cried. She got up pulled and blanket over her and gathered up her clothes. I layed sideways starring at her. "What?" She asked. "Whats wrong?" I asked her. She shook...

AN: Alright, welcome back to my crazy world. I own a valentine card with Edward on it. Does this mean I own Edward? No, Meyer calms all. I'm just playing with them a bit. As always much thanks go out to state of delusion for making this readable. Okay have fun.

Chapter 2

I am the Walrus

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.

If the sun don't come, you'll get a tan

From standing in the rain.

-The Beatles

"Alice!" I called into the sitting room. "I can't find my red and gold earrings, the ones with the Spanish Roses embossed on them. Do you know where they are?"

"They're in the black velvet...