Twilight

1) Stare at Jane for a long period of time. When she asks you what you're doing, say you're mimicking what she does when she tries her gift on Bella
2) Ask Jane if she and Alec ever had an incestuous relationship and how long it was
3) When Aro goes to touch you to read your mind, picture him dancing in Edward's meadow singing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." or "Like a Virgin" with Edward and Bella watching in awe
4) Tell Caius that Marcus had an Immortal Child with Gianna
5) Say that Heidi is hiding the Immortal Child
6) When Caius is in a bad mood, tell him, "No more O negative for you!"
7) Tell...

I hate twilight. It is not addictive, it is not well written, the character's are not fascinating or likeable and the storyline makes me want to pull my hair out in frustration. I am 100% lying, of course. I imagined a definition of the twilight saga out of the norm might grab people's attention. The books are brilliant, god bless Stephanie Meyer.
I'd heard of the books a while back, being quite the geek and spending abit of time on the old, reliable imdb, and I read that Robert Pattinson was starring in a film called 'Twilight'. Seeing a ten second preview of the trailer made me curious,...

EDWARD (Rob Pattinson):

Full Name: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen
Status: Vampire
Date of Birth: June 20, 1901
Date of Transformation: 1918
Special Abilities: Mind reading, Super-speed, Extraordinary strength
Key Quote: "What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?"

Kristen Stewart:Bella Swan

Full Name: Isabella Marie Swan
Status: Human
Date of Birth: September 13, 1987
Date of Transformation: tbd
Special Abilities: Accident prone, Attracts bad, Immune to mind reading
Key Quote: "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him…that thirsted...