Another Top 10.....
Video Games! Whether you like them or not, you have to admit there's a surprising amount of depth to them! They take you to another world and make you feel like a hero! An epic bad-ass who can conquer anything as long as s/he believes in him/herself!
Or they make us a monkey fighting balloons, that works too.
But sadly, not every game is good. And that's actually understandable! Nothing's perfect, and some games had excuses for being below average!
But there are some moments on this holy planet where hell rises from its grave..... They send us a god-awful disgrace against humanity that should be eradicated from the face of the Earth.....
Bit over-dramatic there. :P
Basic idea, games can be terrible, and today I'm covering the worst one's out there. And now, without further ado, let'sa go! ^___^
o-O
#10. Ghosts N Goblins.
Now, don't get me wrong, but in a way, THIS GAME IS AWESOME. There's only one problem........
THIS IS ONE OF THE HARDEST, CHEAPEST, AND MOST UNFAIR VIDEO GAMES EVER CREATED. SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING IS AGAINST YOU!
THAT GHOST WANTS YOU DEAD, THAT GOBLIN WANTS YOU DEAD, THAT BAT WANTS YOU DEAD, THAT BAG OF F**KING CHIPS WANTS YOU DEAD.
And almost EVERY SINGLE entry on my Top 10 Things I Hate In Video Games IS IN THIS GAME.
BAD CONTROLS, CHEAP ENEMY PLACEMENT, KNOCK BACK, BOTTOMLESS PITS, A F**KING TIME LIMIT, (A VERY short one at that,) AND HELL, THE ENTIRE GAME MIGHT AS WELL BE A QUICK-TIME EVENT!
Also, this is a game where enemies and projectiles are EVERYWHERE, and are WAY harder to dodge than you could ever imagine.
Oh, and you also die in 2 hits, only have a few lives, and there's no passwords OR save features.
And if ALL THAT wasn't bad enough, when you first beat the game, it tells you, basically, YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE ENTIRE DAMN GAME ALL OVER AGAIN ON A HARDER DIFFICULTY.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH KONAMI?!?!?!?!?!?
But the saddest part? Like the god-awful anime Variable Geo Neo, (DON'T LOOK THAT UP, I SWEAR TO GOD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.) IT HAD SO POTENTIAL! In VGN's case, it had a VERY cool concept, and it had my favorite anime opening EVER! In this game's case, it had some unique ideas, a cool weapon system, a nice soundtrack, and would've been great!
That is, if they'd actually TRIED to make an at least REMOTELY fair game! But they didn't, and scammed so many quarters in the 80's it's-
ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. :D
Er, I mean, not funny at all. (:D)
In conclusion, THIS IS THE CHEAPEST DAMN GAME EVER MADE! It's WAY too hard for its own good to be ANY fun and that honestly destroys the entire experience.
Hell, I got so mad playing the game I started to wish people went School Days on Konami's ass and slaughtered them.
Moving on, ugh.
#9. E.T. The Extra Terrestrial.
Comments Section: OMG JARED Y-Y-YOU PUT THIS AT ONLY #9!? O-O
Alright, I have to say this. Like the AVGN stated, the game isn't as bad as we thought. Sure, it's monotonous, tedious, frustrating, and boring, but it's not.....
Audience: o-O
Me: That......
Audience: O-O O-O X__X :OOOO
Me: Ba-
Audience: *Slaughters me with an Atari 2600*
Me: Ow.... X_____X
Anyways, this game is still shit. The controls suck, the music is a pile of vomit, the F.B.I. Agents are annoying as hell, and the pits were TOTALLY not SO MOTHER F**KING ANNOYING YOU'D HAVE A MORE FUN TIME DEVOURING THE DECAYED SHIT IN AN OCEAN FULL OF URINE AND SHARKS WHILE A HENTAI TENTACLE TRIES TO DROWN YOU TO DEATH.
Alright, I apologize for that. o-O
Still though, the game is that terrible. But the worst part of the game? Well......
Imagine if you were a kid in the late 1900's and you bought this game WITHOUT the instructions.....
Yeah, not a very pleasant time.
Overall, although it's not as bad as people say it is, it's STILL shit. With glitches out the wazoo, annoying pits everywhere, and VERY little logic in this game, (Not to say no logic...) The game gets #9 on this list.
#8. Superman 64.
Alright, if you wanted to know a game with no effort in it whatsoever, this is the game you get.
RANT TIME.
This game is INFAMOUS for being one of the worst games ever made, and that still holds true to this day. Because fact is.....
The game sucks. Hard. Harder than a steel-reinforced barricade.
Honestly, I could go on forever on this, but the worst part of the game is DEFINITELY the controls.
DEAR LORD, THE CONTROLS.
How bad are they? Do you really want to know?
Drink 50 gallons of Vodka in a minute and play any game at all.
That's the entire game.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
DON'T PLAY THIS GAME. I LEARNED IT THE HARD WAY WHEN I BOUGHT IT BY ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS 11. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL GAMES I'VE EVER PLAYED, THE CONTROLS SUCK SO MUCH!
And there's time limits too, very short ones! ^____^
...
.............
.....................
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Superman, THE MOST FAMOUS SUPERHERO OF ALL TIME, is flying through hoops.......
Becau-SCREW THIS GAME AND SCREW MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
#7. Hotel Mario & The Zelda CDI Games.
Gee, I bet you didn't see this one coming! ;D
Seriously, this games are NOTORIOUS for being some of the most unfair, cheap, and badly designed games of all time.
First of all, and by far the worst part of both games, the cutscenes.
How bad do they look? Well, take Robotnik from The Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog and have an 8 year old draw him in Microsoft Paint.
You could make a million memes out of this picture alone.
And yes, THAT PICTURE IS ACTUALLY IN THE GAME. I SHIT YOU NOT. And that's just the tip of the rage-inducing iceberg because IT GETS EVEN BETTER.
For one, the controls in both games are terrible, and ESPECIALLY in the Zelda games.
I swear to god when playing Zelda CDI every time I pushed a button it vomited all over my clean keyboard.
And it didn't help that the actual controllers themselves are set up so strangely and are so unresponsive you'd have an easier time trying to wake me up after I got bitten by a cobra then trying to play with the actual CDI controllers.
How in the name of all that is holy do you play with that?
In a nutshell, Mario CDI is just a game where you stomp on enemies and hide from them indoors, BUT I SWEAR the hitboxes of those god-forsaken goombas and koopas are larger than the Eiffel Tower. You could jump and get hit by accident from the goomba above you, THE HITBOXES ARE THAT LARGE!
Also, again, the cutscenes are absolute shit. First time playing the game on a ROM file I thought this was a fan-made game made by a second grader, and to this day I still think it was.
Oh, and the Zelda games are even worse.
For the sake of time, here's the Zelda games in a nutshell.
YOU'RE LINK! YOU CAN MOVE LEFT AND RIGHT, AND WHEN PRESSING DOWN, YOU CAN MAKE HIM DO A DUCK WALK! ;D
Also there's terribly lit rooms, candles that last for a millisecond, cheap enemy placement out the ass, and a map so confusing and hard to use you'd have an easier time trying to T.K.O. Mike Tyson than to use the map.
Also these games pretty much invented memes. That's all that needs to be said about these shit stains of the gaming world.
#6. PAC-MAN!?
Alright, so you have a hit arcade game, and you want to make it on a console. What do you do?
A. Take time and effort into trying to make the game as good as the arcade version, if not better.
B. Eat a Pop-Tart because why not?
C. FUCK EVERY SMART IDEA YOU EVER HAD HARD RIGHT IN THE P**SY AND MAKE ONE OF THE WORST CONSOLE PORTS EVER MADE.
If you picked C, then you need to question your life decisions. Sadly though, that's what we're about to talk about.
Pac-Man on the Atari 2600. Dear lord, this game is insulting on so many levels. But I think this ENTIRE entry can be summed up with one picture.
Yeah, the game looks absolutely terrible. AND I AM INCLUDING BY ATARI 2600 STANDARDS!
The game also has a nasty little habit of bugging out every .0001 milliseconds. First time playing this I thought I was drunk, but sadly, I wasn't.
Enemies will go where they aren't even supposed to, the power pellets don't even work sometimes, but the worst part? Well, it's how DISAPPOINTING it was.
Imagine you were a kid in the early 80's who loved Pac-Man, and wanted to play it at home! PEOPLE WERE SO HYPED! Like, Five Nights At Freddy's 2 or Super Smash Bros 4 hyped.
Pac-Man was VERY popular and they realized making a console port was a smart idea! But all we got was this unpolished mess.
On a final note, if I ever made a top 10 buggiest games list, this would easily make the top 3. IT'S THAT BAD.
AND NO, THE GLITCHES AREN'T EVEN FUNNY! THE GAME WILL RANDOMLY GIVE YOU A GAME OVER, IT'LL RANDOMLY CRASH, AND SOMETIMES THE GAME WILL STRAIGHT UP FLIP YOU OFF AND MAKE LEVEL ONE AS HARD AS LEVEL 50!
IT'S UNFAIR, UNPOLISHED, AND WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST DAMN DISAPPOINTMENTS IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY.
And I swear to god this game will give you a seizure if you playing it for too long. I'm not even kidding, the flashing sprites REALLY hurt your eyes, just watch this gameplay video of it, IT'S THAT BAD!
link
Moving on. To the top 5. *Sigh*
Let's fucking do this.
#5.
