I was sitting at my desk at school, writing my Christmas list. It was hard to think of more than three things, so I wrote down a gift card to itunes, some movies, and a new pair of nike shoes. I'm trying to think of something, and my teacher said "Emily it wouldn't be wise to ask for money for a present". When I went home I was still thinking about my Christmas list, but then my little sister came up to my face "Sissy, sissy, you should ask for a super big princess kit'. Then dinner came, we had roasted chicken. My older brother Eric was bragging about making the basketball team, then my little sister told my mom I want the super big princess kit so we could be twins. "Honey your a big girl now, you can't play with toddler toys" mom said sweetly. I moaned loudly, "Mom!!". My brother was laughing quietly to himself. "May I be excused?" I asked. "Sure honey see you later" mom answered. When I went to my room I looked at me at the mirror and saw my hair was falling out. Later that week I told my mom my hair was falling out, and she said she'll take me to the doctor's when I come home. I went to the bathroom at school and my hair fell out in clumps. When gym came, my stomach hurt so I went to the lockroom and I spited out blood. I could never be in so much pain. The nurse called my mom to come pick me up, then she took me to the doctor's office. After several hours the doctor finally came, he said I have some kind of cancer, but it could never be cured only I can expand my life. My mom said I dont have to tell anyone, and I decided not to. When we got home my family and I put up the tree. "Emily do you what you want for Christmas?" asked Eric. "Maybe just to live" I said under my breath. "Emily can I talk to you in the family room?" asksed mother. I thought in deep troble. "Honey the doctor called and he said you have two years to live" mom said live for a long time. I wanted to cry, but I was strong I could hold it and said "ok". When I went to school they had tryouts for the cheerleading team at 2:00 today. Two hours before tryouts we had to go to gym, but , I forgot my doctor slip saying I'm not heathly to go outside or do gym. I didn't have it so I had to run. My lungs burn and I asked to go to the nurse, but the coach made me run six extra laps. Then, it felt like a thousand pounds was on my cheast and I was super dizzy, and I collapsed. When I woke up I saw a bright light above me, my mother was to the right of me holding my hand, and a doctor was on his computer in the right corner. "Mom where am I?" I asked. "Honey the doctor and I thought it would be best if you were home schooled". I wanted to say no way I would lose my friends, teachers, and my life, but I knew what was best. "Good idea mom, just what I was thinking". When I got home I went to bed, it was the first time in three weeks I just fell asleep. I woke to the sound of the smoke dector, and screams. "Emily Emily!" cried my sister. I didn't smell smoke though. I went to the kitchen seeing Eric laughing his head off. "Ha you should have saw your face" said Eric. "Where's mom?" I asked. "She went to work" Eric said back. "Come on June let's go to bed" I took my sister with me. I told my sister something while she layed next to me. "June our time together is limited, but I will always love you". Since I had to go to the doctor's I missed cheerleading pratice, but than again I'm never going to public school again. When went to go and eat at Chucky-Mc Cheeses, the seats were wobbly and the family across from our table was changing a baby's diaper. We went home and mom gave me an assignment to do, I ignored her and went right up stairs to my room to go sleep. My mom signed me up for tennis at noon everyday. Today I went and I had no idea what to do. So I went up to one of the courts and someone came up to come play. It turns out I'm really good at tennis and the person playing with me was good to. I went to go get more tennis balls and then I blacked out. I woke up and saw my mom and little sister, we were at the doctor's office, he said he'll put me into sleep for a bit and then I'll be good and done with cancer, and if I don't wake after they try to help me they'll pull the plug. They took my family to the waiting room, while they put me to sleep. I dreamed that I was a kid opening presents on Christmas morning, then suddenly my eyes blinked open and I woke up. I thought that I fought cancer, but then I saw the doctor to my mother and then she cried. I heared the nurses say "Lets pull the plug", then I saw a bright light infront of me and a voice calling me. I watched from up from heaven my sister crying and holding my hand, and she said "Sis I want you back, I want you for Christmas". When they buried me in a white satin casket, I watched all of them. I will always love and watch over my mother and my siblings.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right."
I can still remember the disappointment in those hazel eyes the moment I told him I was leaving. I couldn't stay - I had no choice. I still can't decide whether it hurt more to leave him, or to know I had been the one who caused the pain. What was I supposed to do? This child needed guidance and protection now more than ever, and I couldn't help him. For so long I had been the one to console him - make him feel safe - and it was coming to an end. It was... the rule.
"I need to go away, Alex. It's what imaginary friends do....
Forever
Forever you are mine
Forever I’ll be here
Forever is what you promised
Your heart is worth nothing
But the your soul is priceless
Forever can be a long time
Forever can be a long time cut short
It’s worth the suffering
It’s worth the sacrifice
To forever be yours
Forever protected by your eagle like wings
Forever loved by your ocean wide heart
Forever safe in your warm embrace
Forever is worth the wait
To be sliced thin
To stuffed thick
Forever is Forever
Forever is Eternity
Forever is a risk
Forever is a chance
Forever is worth the wait
Forever you are mine
Forever I’ll be here
Forever is what you promised
Your heart is worth nothing
But the your soul is priceless
Forever can be a long time
Forever can be a long time cut short
It’s worth the suffering
It’s worth the sacrifice
To forever be yours
Forever protected by your eagle like wings
Forever loved by your ocean wide heart
Forever safe in your warm embrace
Forever is worth the wait
To be sliced thin
To stuffed thick
Forever is Forever
Forever is Eternity
Forever is a risk
Forever is a chance
Forever is worth the wait
preface
if the one person you told the truth to all the time was now the one person you have to keep it away from, would you?
would you be able to lie through your teeth and pray that he believes you? what if he was the one person you told everything to, he was the one who keeps you from falling apart, but if you told him anything he might be the one to bring you tummbling down.
if you had to chose between lieing to him, hurting him, and keeping him away from you, what would you chose? because if you dont chose right, he may very well die.
if the one person you told the truth to all the time was now the one person you have to keep it away from, would you?
would you be able to lie through your teeth and pray that he believes you? what if he was the one person you told everything to, he was the one who keeps you from falling apart, but if you told him anything he might be the one to bring you tummbling down.
if you had to chose between lieing to him, hurting him, and keeping him away from you, what would you chose? because if you dont chose right, he may very well die.
That day I thought I was a failure. I was sitting outside our house on a bench in my white dress, just staring at the dark sky while raindrops were running down my cheeks. It could have been tears as well, all I knew was that it was raining pretty hard.
As she noticed I was outside, she opened the door and told me to come inside, where it was warm. Her soft voice told me she was going to make some tea for me and that everything would be okay.
I didn't even look at her when I got up and started to run.
The grass felt wet and cold under my bare feet as I was running towards the nearby forest,...
continue reading...
As she noticed I was outside, she opened the door and told me to come inside, where it was warm. Her soft voice told me she was going to make some tea for me and that everything would be okay.
I didn't even look at her when I got up and started to run.
The grass felt wet and cold under my bare feet as I was running towards the nearby forest,...
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
love bites
A year ago in my calculation,
A year ago, there were situations.
The same song played now and then,
In my memory, it had begun.
Tears from my eyes were shed this morning,
It was the most tears I was shedding.
My world isn’t complete without you,
My world and I don’t know what to do.
Love isn’t a toy and never was.
Love is what you cherish and keep as treasure.
My mind is at many topics at random,
It goes normal when you’re in my kingdom.
What ends my bad situations with people
Is my focus on you, my angel.
You’ll always be a part of me,
You’ll always be in my memory.
A year ago, there were situations.
The same song played now and then,
In my memory, it had begun.
Tears from my eyes were shed this morning,
It was the most tears I was shedding.
My world isn’t complete without you,
My world and I don’t know what to do.
Love isn’t a toy and never was.
Love is what you cherish and keep as treasure.
My mind is at many topics at random,
It goes normal when you’re in my kingdom.
What ends my bad situations with people
Is my focus on you, my angel.
You’ll always be a part of me,
You’ll always be in my memory.
