I could feel no pain what so ever, I couldn’t talk or move, though I could hear ever thing being said. “Her heart rate is dropping!” and then I heard a long buzz. “We have to get her heart beating again or she’s going to die.” I could hear my grandfather panicking because it was me his first grandchild, here dieing. I could feel Jacob’s tension. He wouldn’t let go of my hand unless my grandfather asked for something then he grabbed it again.
I could feel seven pare of eyes on me. I could hear crying not dry crying but from my babies. It was weird I didn’t know what they were doing.
“What are you doing we have to save you she can’t die.” I could hear Jacob getting mad and that wasn’t good. I started to feel things again my grandfather was stitching my stomach up.
“Jacob I don’t want to stop either but I know that she’s not coming back.” “Not human but can’t you change her.” My grandfather stopped and I could feel his sadness dripping from him. “It’s to late, trust me you’re not the only one who’s upset about this.” He finished stitching up my stomach and turned around. I could sense every thing.
That dream about my babies and Jacob in the living room, I could see it again but I could only see it I couldn’t hear anything but what was happening in the reality world. But I could feel everything, the tarring in my throat from screaming, the pulling me down in the dark. I could feel the coldness around me from the bottom of the ocean. I could feel my feel hit the silky sand and then pulled down again.
Then every think went blank again.
I could see it was blurry but I could see better then before, a lot better then before. My vision was fine I could see the dust in the air. I could smell the blood it was so much stronger then before I was pregnant, I could smell the salty tears coming from the babies. I was able to hear the slightest move. I heard the blankets being folded around the babies, that’s how good my hearing was.
I was able to move a little, I could move my fingers and my toes but that was really it. Then I realized I wasn’t breathing I didn’t need it.
It all seemed familiar but were from. I couldn’t remember. The good vision . . . no the great vision, the amazing sense of smell, the amazing hearing. What didn’t grandpa say something about my human half dieing and my vampire side rising?
I don’t have a heart beat but yet I’m still alive. I’m a full . . . vampire. “I’m no human.” I said in a slight whisper only someone with amazing hearing could hear.
Then I felt every one at the door that was turning around to go down stairs turn back and stair. I could feel there eyes piercing in to my skin. I could hear the air bouncing off of Jacob as he turned his head to look at me and then at are family in the door way.
“What?” was all Jacob said. “She just said “I’m not human.” My mother said still staring at me.
I could hear my father walk up to grandpa. “Carlisle did you hear that? Is it possible that she’s not died?” my grandfather was shaking his head back and forth. “Well it could be because she was still a vampire but her human side wouldn’t have been able to take all that. If she was still alive she wouldn’t be human she’d be a full vampire.”
“WHAT!? She could still be alive?” Jacob asked my grandfather. He kneeled down beside me and stroked my forehead and held my hand not to tight but tight enough I could feel it because my body was still a little numb.
“Nessie if you can hear me please, please do something, say something movie just a little.” I tried to speak again but my lips weren’t moving. I tried to move my toes I couldn’t do any of that. I wanted to let them know that I could still hear them. But then I remembered that I could sent pictures to people with touch.
As I got older I could just touch there arm it didn’t need to be there face. So I tried hard to send Jacob the last couple minuets when I was blank and every one thought I was died. I could feel him stiffen up and grab my hand tighter.
“She’s been alive this whole time.” He was smiling while he talked. He kissed my forehead and stood up. “She just sent me the last couple minuets when we thought she was gone. She can hear everything but she can’t do anything and she can’t feel anything that good.”
Jacob had moved my form our house to my grandparents’ house and laid me down in Aunt Alice’s bed. I had another dream but this time I was with Jacob and are babies. It was like a future time line. Very fast I saw them grow older and older and I could feel the happiness.
Then I woke up. “What happened?” I looked around and I was in my Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper’s room. I looked down at my stomach and saw that it was just my stomach my babies weren’t there. They must have put me under for the operation.
I got up and grabbed a bath rob that was hanging on the end on the canopy. As I opened the door the smell of blood fled in and my throat was burning. I’ve never smelt blood this strong before, and I didn’t have a craving for human food but for human blood.
“Do you have any human blood?” I asked as I walked half way down the staircase. I looked up and stopped were I was walking everyone was just staring with smiles on there faces. “Are you guys okay, you look like creepy clowns that scare kids and kill them.” I said walking down the rest of the stairs.
Jacob ran over to me and grabbed my face and kissed me like I he hadn’t see me for thousands of years, as if he watched my die. It felt good to have his warm body pressed up against mine, because I felt beyond cold.
He pulled away and smiled at me. “You know you’re really cold? How are you feeling?” “Fine but I’m really thirsty.” Aunt Rose was sitting beside me with a cup of fresh blood. I took a sip and could feel the pain melt down my throat and was gone. Aunt Rose had always been there for me.
My father came and sat down beside me. He looked confused. “Honey do you remember anything?”
“No not really I just remember hearing two cries and then something about one of the babies and then everything went blank. Can I see my babies.” My dad looked at grandpa and then back at me. “Ya Jacob will show you were there sleeping.”
Jacob threw me onto his back and walked up the stairs and into there room in my grandparents house. He dropped my down and I walked around and saw there sweet faces. One of the littler girls looked so much like me and Jacob, the dark hair with a little of red in it, but her skin was darker then mine but lighter then Jakes. Then I walked to the next crib and there was another little girl, she looked more like me the red hair the snow white skin. And in the third crib was a little boy who looked just like Jacob the dark skin and dark hair.
The little boy opened his eyes and looked at me and smiled. Jacob was standing be hind me as I picked him up. Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
“What do you want to name them?” he whispered in my ear. “What about Jezebell for her.” I said pointing to the first baby I saw. “I like it.” I bobbed around in my head for another girl name “What about Rachel for that little girl?” he smiled. “You should name this little boy.” He sighed trying to think of a name. “What about Ashton and Ash for short?” Ash was a werewolf’s name. “I love it, what do you think Ash?” he smiled up at me and Jake.
I heard talking going on down stairs. “Its probably better if she doesn’t know what happened.” I heard my grandfather say. What ever must have happened must have been bad so I didn’t want to know because I was holding one of my little joys in my arms and my soulmate right behind me.
I could feel seven pare of eyes on me. I could hear crying not dry crying but from my babies. It was weird I didn’t know what they were doing.
“What are you doing we have to save you she can’t die.” I could hear Jacob getting mad and that wasn’t good. I started to feel things again my grandfather was stitching my stomach up.
“Jacob I don’t want to stop either but I know that she’s not coming back.” “Not human but can’t you change her.” My grandfather stopped and I could feel his sadness dripping from him. “It’s to late, trust me you’re not the only one who’s upset about this.” He finished stitching up my stomach and turned around. I could sense every thing.
That dream about my babies and Jacob in the living room, I could see it again but I could only see it I couldn’t hear anything but what was happening in the reality world. But I could feel everything, the tarring in my throat from screaming, the pulling me down in the dark. I could feel the coldness around me from the bottom of the ocean. I could feel my feel hit the silky sand and then pulled down again.
Then every think went blank again.
I could see it was blurry but I could see better then before, a lot better then before. My vision was fine I could see the dust in the air. I could smell the blood it was so much stronger then before I was pregnant, I could smell the salty tears coming from the babies. I was able to hear the slightest move. I heard the blankets being folded around the babies, that’s how good my hearing was.
I was able to move a little, I could move my fingers and my toes but that was really it. Then I realized I wasn’t breathing I didn’t need it.
It all seemed familiar but were from. I couldn’t remember. The good vision . . . no the great vision, the amazing sense of smell, the amazing hearing. What didn’t grandpa say something about my human half dieing and my vampire side rising?
I don’t have a heart beat but yet I’m still alive. I’m a full . . . vampire. “I’m no human.” I said in a slight whisper only someone with amazing hearing could hear.
Then I felt every one at the door that was turning around to go down stairs turn back and stair. I could feel there eyes piercing in to my skin. I could hear the air bouncing off of Jacob as he turned his head to look at me and then at are family in the door way.
“What?” was all Jacob said. “She just said “I’m not human.” My mother said still staring at me.
I could hear my father walk up to grandpa. “Carlisle did you hear that? Is it possible that she’s not died?” my grandfather was shaking his head back and forth. “Well it could be because she was still a vampire but her human side wouldn’t have been able to take all that. If she was still alive she wouldn’t be human she’d be a full vampire.”
“WHAT!? She could still be alive?” Jacob asked my grandfather. He kneeled down beside me and stroked my forehead and held my hand not to tight but tight enough I could feel it because my body was still a little numb.
“Nessie if you can hear me please, please do something, say something movie just a little.” I tried to speak again but my lips weren’t moving. I tried to move my toes I couldn’t do any of that. I wanted to let them know that I could still hear them. But then I remembered that I could sent pictures to people with touch.
As I got older I could just touch there arm it didn’t need to be there face. So I tried hard to send Jacob the last couple minuets when I was blank and every one thought I was died. I could feel him stiffen up and grab my hand tighter.
“She’s been alive this whole time.” He was smiling while he talked. He kissed my forehead and stood up. “She just sent me the last couple minuets when we thought she was gone. She can hear everything but she can’t do anything and she can’t feel anything that good.”
Jacob had moved my form our house to my grandparents’ house and laid me down in Aunt Alice’s bed. I had another dream but this time I was with Jacob and are babies. It was like a future time line. Very fast I saw them grow older and older and I could feel the happiness.
Then I woke up. “What happened?” I looked around and I was in my Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper’s room. I looked down at my stomach and saw that it was just my stomach my babies weren’t there. They must have put me under for the operation.
I got up and grabbed a bath rob that was hanging on the end on the canopy. As I opened the door the smell of blood fled in and my throat was burning. I’ve never smelt blood this strong before, and I didn’t have a craving for human food but for human blood.
“Do you have any human blood?” I asked as I walked half way down the staircase. I looked up and stopped were I was walking everyone was just staring with smiles on there faces. “Are you guys okay, you look like creepy clowns that scare kids and kill them.” I said walking down the rest of the stairs.
Jacob ran over to me and grabbed my face and kissed me like I he hadn’t see me for thousands of years, as if he watched my die. It felt good to have his warm body pressed up against mine, because I felt beyond cold.
He pulled away and smiled at me. “You know you’re really cold? How are you feeling?” “Fine but I’m really thirsty.” Aunt Rose was sitting beside me with a cup of fresh blood. I took a sip and could feel the pain melt down my throat and was gone. Aunt Rose had always been there for me.
My father came and sat down beside me. He looked confused. “Honey do you remember anything?”
“No not really I just remember hearing two cries and then something about one of the babies and then everything went blank. Can I see my babies.” My dad looked at grandpa and then back at me. “Ya Jacob will show you were there sleeping.”
Jacob threw me onto his back and walked up the stairs and into there room in my grandparents house. He dropped my down and I walked around and saw there sweet faces. One of the littler girls looked so much like me and Jacob, the dark hair with a little of red in it, but her skin was darker then mine but lighter then Jakes. Then I walked to the next crib and there was another little girl, she looked more like me the red hair the snow white skin. And in the third crib was a little boy who looked just like Jacob the dark skin and dark hair.
The little boy opened his eyes and looked at me and smiled. Jacob was standing be hind me as I picked him up. Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
“What do you want to name them?” he whispered in my ear. “What about Jezebell for her.” I said pointing to the first baby I saw. “I like it.” I bobbed around in my head for another girl name “What about Rachel for that little girl?” he smiled. “You should name this little boy.” He sighed trying to think of a name. “What about Ashton and Ash for short?” Ash was a werewolf’s name. “I love it, what do you think Ash?” he smiled up at me and Jake.
I heard talking going on down stairs. “Its probably better if she doesn’t know what happened.” I heard my grandfather say. What ever must have happened must have been bad so I didn’t want to know because I was holding one of my little joys in my arms and my soulmate right behind me.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met
Your only knowledge stemming from information you’ve seen or read
Before I knew of his existence I would have stated no
Yet the first time I saw him my heart begged to never let go
It isn’t rational
Or logical
Though love rarely is
I can’t make my heart stop wishing that I held his
And I know it's stupid and silly to believe
In some kind of fairy tale
The perfect prince for me
But every time I see that smile
I can’t help but feel
That one day we could share
A love that is real
Your only knowledge stemming from information you’ve seen or read
Before I knew of his existence I would have stated no
Yet the first time I saw him my heart begged to never let go
It isn’t rational
Or logical
Though love rarely is
I can’t make my heart stop wishing that I held his
And I know it's stupid and silly to believe
In some kind of fairy tale
The perfect prince for me
But every time I see that smile
I can’t help but feel
That one day we could share
A love that is real
ON STORMY CLOUDS
I’VE SEEN HIM SIT
THIS DARK ANGEL FAIR
WITH FOLDED AND SHIMMERING
GOSSAMER WINGS
AND MOON BEAMS IN HIS HAIR
WITH BURNING EYES
TO EARTH HE SLIDES
SEEKING TO FEEL THE GROUND
THEN SPREAD HIS
RAVEN FEATHERED WINGS
CASTING HIS MAGICK SHADOW ‘ROUND
THIS ANGELS TOUCH
IS A COMFORTS SONG
SOFT AS A VELVET CLOAK
AND WHEN HE REACHES
TO RIGHT THE WRONG
HIS WORDS ARE FEELINGS SPOKE
ON HOOF AND WING, I WATCHED HIM SAIL
MY DARK ANGEL FAIR
TO SOME ARCANE ABODE
WE KNOW NOT WHERE
TILL HIS NEXT ASSIGNMENT
AND THE FUTURE HAS BEEN FORETOLD
FOR THE LAST FLIGHT
THIS DARK ANGEL TAKES
IS A PIED-PIPERS GATHERING
FOR ALL THE SOULS HE’S TOUCHED
LISTENING TO THE SHADOWY
SONGS THEY’LL NOW SING
I’VE SEEN HIM SIT
THIS DARK ANGEL FAIR
WITH FOLDED AND SHIMMERING
GOSSAMER WINGS
AND MOON BEAMS IN HIS HAIR
WITH BURNING EYES
TO EARTH HE SLIDES
SEEKING TO FEEL THE GROUND
THEN SPREAD HIS
RAVEN FEATHERED WINGS
CASTING HIS MAGICK SHADOW ‘ROUND
THIS ANGELS TOUCH
IS A COMFORTS SONG
SOFT AS A VELVET CLOAK
AND WHEN HE REACHES
TO RIGHT THE WRONG
HIS WORDS ARE FEELINGS SPOKE
ON HOOF AND WING, I WATCHED HIM SAIL
MY DARK ANGEL FAIR
TO SOME ARCANE ABODE
WE KNOW NOT WHERE
TILL HIS NEXT ASSIGNMENT
AND THE FUTURE HAS BEEN FORETOLD
FOR THE LAST FLIGHT
THIS DARK ANGEL TAKES
IS A PIED-PIPERS GATHERING
FOR ALL THE SOULS HE’S TOUCHED
LISTENING TO THE SHADOWY
SONGS THEY’LL NOW SING
19 December
It's been almost a year since Freak died. For a while, people always used to say to me, "I'm sorry." I hated that. I yelled at them, "Feel sorry for Freak! I'm still alive!"
They shouldn't feel sorry for me. Freak taught me what it meant to walk tall. He tought me that remembering is only an invention of the mind, and if you try hard enough, you can remember anything. I try to remember everything Freak told me; and sometimes, it works. Then it slips away.
For a while after Freak died, I went back to being the critter hiding out in Down Under. Then one day, it hit me, and hard. If I had died, I wouldn't want Freak to do what I was doing. I would want him to continue Freak The Mighty.
And that made all the difference.
I try to make Freak proud; maybe I'm even succeeding. I just know that Freak changed the way I saw things, and I owe him that much; to keep Freak The Mighty alive.
-Max-
It's been almost a year since Freak died. For a while, people always used to say to me, "I'm sorry." I hated that. I yelled at them, "Feel sorry for Freak! I'm still alive!"
They shouldn't feel sorry for me. Freak taught me what it meant to walk tall. He tought me that remembering is only an invention of the mind, and if you try hard enough, you can remember anything. I try to remember everything Freak told me; and sometimes, it works. Then it slips away.
For a while after Freak died, I went back to being the critter hiding out in Down Under. Then one day, it hit me, and hard. If I had died, I wouldn't want Freak to do what I was doing. I would want him to continue Freak The Mighty.
And that made all the difference.
I try to make Freak proud; maybe I'm even succeeding. I just know that Freak changed the way I saw things, and I owe him that much; to keep Freak The Mighty alive.
-Max-