This is my review for WWE Elimination Chamber 2012. It was horrible.
Key:
DUD = Zero Stars = There was NOTHING good about this match. I highly suggest that you don't watch it, because it made me want to claw my eyes out.
One Star = * = Horrible. If there was anything good about this match, it was over-shadowed by the bad parts.
Two Stars = ** = Pretty bad. Not too horrible, but nothing special. There was probably only one or two things about this match that were good.
Three Stars = *** = Pretty good. Not a must-see match, but nothing that would make you scream in frustration, either.
Four Stars = **** = Wonderful! A must-see match that will be remembered for a very long time.
Five Stars = ***** = Perfect. A classic match that will be remembered forever.
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This. Was. Horrible. This entire pay-per-view was awful. It took a nosedive like you would never believe.
The first match was the Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Title: CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho vs R-Truth vs Kofi Kingston vs The Miz vs Dolph Ziggler. I rated it four stars (****). This match was actually awesome, definitely the best match of the night. There was a point where Dolph climbed the chamber and began doing pull-ups. That was really funny, and it made sense considering his whole 'show-off' gimmick. Then, he let go of the chains and did a fame asser onto CM Punk, who was on the steel below him. That spot was amazing, but then again, Dolph is amazing, haha.
At one point, Kofi and Punk were on opposite turnbuckles and they both tried to hit Dolph, but Dolph moved out of the way and Kofi and Punk fell into each other. It looked so amazing! There were also several times where someone threw Dolph outside onto the steel floor... they were probably trying to knock some sense into him for wearing pink trunks with zebra print designs (*The Miz voice* really, Ziggler? Really?).
The first one eliminated was R-Truth. A while later, Jericho hit Dolph with the codebreaker and eliminated him by pinfall...
When The Miz came out, he dominated over everyone and looked very impressive. Kofi got eliminated third, which sucks because it's been way too long since we've had a black WWE Champion. Chris Jericho got eliminated when CM Punk kicked him in the face, and Jericho landed outside on the floor (the door to the chamber was open). Jericho was never pinned-- he had to be escorted out by medical personel.
Finally, Punk hits The Miz with the GTS and retains the WWE Championship. Over all, the night was starting to look raelly good... Unfortunately, the next match was the last watchable thing of the night.
The second match was Beth Phoenix vs Tamina Snuka for the Divas Championship. I, for one, loved this match. It's the first PPV women's match between two talented women in a very long time. It lasted about seven minutes, which is pretty long for a Divas match (they usually only get four or five minutes, but then again, Kelly Kelly's usually in the Diva matches and she only knows five moves. So you can't expect her to spread out five moves over the course of more than five minutes).
Tamina hit Beth with the Superfly Splash, and I thought it was over, but Beth kicked out. This is the first time anyone's kicked out of that move. Tamina tried to go for another, but Beth rolled out of the ring... In the end, Beth hits the Glam Slam on her and retains her Divas Title. The match gets **3/4 stars from me. It could have been a minute or two longer, but other than that, it was great for a Divas match today. At least we didn't have to see Eve hit her botched moonsault! (Oh snap!)
My stream went out at this point, but there was a segment where Christian and Del Rio came back and David Otunga was kissing John Laurinaitus's ass (metaphorically). That's all I know about this segment, because it's over by the time my brother fixed the stream. Stupid internet. *grumbles like an old man about 'new-fangled technological what-cha-ma-call-its'*.
Then we get the second Elimination Chamber match. I don't understand why a PPV named "Elimination Chamber" isn't being main-evented by the Elimination Chamber, but what you gonna do? This match is definitely where the show started to take a downturn... First of all, we started off the match with Wade Barrett and Big Show. I love Wade, but he just doesn't have good in-ring chemistry against people who are as big as him or bigger. Why the hell doesn't WWE realize this and stop putting him against people like Big Show and Ezekiel Jackson?!
*Sigh* So, Wade and Show go at it, and the match is moving at a snail's pace. The crowd starts the "boring" chants, and I'm honestly only paying attention because I love Wade to death. Cody Rhodes gets sent in next, and he tries so hard to pick up the matches pace... He tried to get the crowd into it, but they weren't having it. He hits Big Show with Beautiful Disaster, and I mark out because I'm in love with that move. Then he does a springboard off the chains and nails Show with Beautiful Disaster again.
Santino comes out next, and the crowd finally cheers. Cody Rhodes hits him with a perfect moonsault, and I mark out (again). The Great Khali is out next, unfortunately, and we're back to snail pace. He hits Wade with the Punjabi Plunge (boooo!) and then he hits Cody with the same move (once again, boooo!). The Big Show spears him and eliminated him immediately, thank God.
Show keeps staring at Daniel's pod, like staring at it will make it open magically. Eventually, he can't take it anymore and he breaks down the top of the pod and climbs in to beat up Daniel. A few seconds later, the pod opens and Daniel gets the hell out of dodge. I'm going to be honest... seeing how slow Show was, I can't help but think it's time for the dude to retire. I like him, but I think he's running on empty at this point. Or maybe he was just having an off night?
Cody hits Show with a Beautiful Disaster, then Wade hits him with an elbow drops and pins him. Why are Wade and Cody acting like tag team partners? I don't know, but it was awesome. Santino rolls up Cody Rhodes, and my eye twitches. They really just had the intercontinental champ get pinned by a man who hasn't won a singles match in a month?! What the hell, WWE?!
Daniel Bryan hits Wade Barrett with a diving headbutt, and my brother starts calling Daniel a Chris Benoit wannabee. I had to tell him to shut up so that I could focus on the effing match (he hates Daniel). Even though it was Daniel who attacked Wade, Santino pins him. Don't ask me why.
We're down to Santino and Daniel. They wrestle for awhile, but Bryan Daniels-- I mean, Daniel Bryan ultimately makes Santino tap out to the Crippler Crossfa-- I mean, the Labell Lock. So, Daniel retains, and the match gets *** (mostly because of Cody Rhodes).
There's a backstage segment where Hornswoggle (ugh) talks about cheese. He makes a "cut the cheese" joke toward Natalya, who leaves the room in anger. If this stupid flatulence thing continues to be Natalya's gimmick, I'm going to slit Vince McMahon's throat... Jack Swagger insults Hornswoggle, and Justin Gabriel comes in to defend the little bastard because they're best friends for some reason. (Justin, you're supposed to be BFFs with Heath Slater, remember? Not that annoying little f*cker!) Teddy Long sets up Justin to go against Jack in an effing US Title match, even though JUSTIN GABRIEL IS ON SMACKDOWN AND I HATE THAT THEY'RE IGNORING THE BRAND SPLIT I HATE IT HATE IT I HA-- Sorry. I got carried away. *Ahem.*
The match lasted less than three minutes, and Jack retains. I gave it a DUD. Clearly, they don't know what to do with Justin, and I say put him back in a tag team with Heath Slater... and make them a babyface tag team that's all about partying and adrenaline rushes. (Come on, WWE, this could be your present to me for my sixteenth birthday! Please?)
And the main even is John Cena vs Kane in an ambulance match... It was pretty good at points, but I had trouble paying attention because Cena bores me. In the end, of course, Cena wins. The match gets **1/2 stars for the action. But honestly, I had a very hard time paying attention.
And that's it for the Elimination Chamber PPV, which was in all honesty, a terrible pay per view that you don't need to watch. The only things about the night that were great were the Raw EC, the Divas match, and Cody Rhodes... That's it. The pay-per-view gets a 6.0 out of a 10 from me for its over-all rating. Really, you don't need to watch it. It was pretty sh*tty.
Key:
DUD = Zero Stars = There was NOTHING good about this match. I highly suggest that you don't watch it, because it made me want to claw my eyes out.
One Star = * = Horrible. If there was anything good about this match, it was over-shadowed by the bad parts.
Two Stars = ** = Pretty bad. Not too horrible, but nothing special. There was probably only one or two things about this match that were good.
Three Stars = *** = Pretty good. Not a must-see match, but nothing that would make you scream in frustration, either.
Four Stars = **** = Wonderful! A must-see match that will be remembered for a very long time.
Five Stars = ***** = Perfect. A classic match that will be remembered forever.
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This. Was. Horrible. This entire pay-per-view was awful. It took a nosedive like you would never believe.
The first match was the Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Title: CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho vs R-Truth vs Kofi Kingston vs The Miz vs Dolph Ziggler. I rated it four stars (****). This match was actually awesome, definitely the best match of the night. There was a point where Dolph climbed the chamber and began doing pull-ups. That was really funny, and it made sense considering his whole 'show-off' gimmick. Then, he let go of the chains and did a fame asser onto CM Punk, who was on the steel below him. That spot was amazing, but then again, Dolph is amazing, haha.
At one point, Kofi and Punk were on opposite turnbuckles and they both tried to hit Dolph, but Dolph moved out of the way and Kofi and Punk fell into each other. It looked so amazing! There were also several times where someone threw Dolph outside onto the steel floor... they were probably trying to knock some sense into him for wearing pink trunks with zebra print designs (*The Miz voice* really, Ziggler? Really?).
The first one eliminated was R-Truth. A while later, Jericho hit Dolph with the codebreaker and eliminated him by pinfall...
When The Miz came out, he dominated over everyone and looked very impressive. Kofi got eliminated third, which sucks because it's been way too long since we've had a black WWE Champion. Chris Jericho got eliminated when CM Punk kicked him in the face, and Jericho landed outside on the floor (the door to the chamber was open). Jericho was never pinned-- he had to be escorted out by medical personel.
Finally, Punk hits The Miz with the GTS and retains the WWE Championship. Over all, the night was starting to look raelly good... Unfortunately, the next match was the last watchable thing of the night.
The second match was Beth Phoenix vs Tamina Snuka for the Divas Championship. I, for one, loved this match. It's the first PPV women's match between two talented women in a very long time. It lasted about seven minutes, which is pretty long for a Divas match (they usually only get four or five minutes, but then again, Kelly Kelly's usually in the Diva matches and she only knows five moves. So you can't expect her to spread out five moves over the course of more than five minutes).
Tamina hit Beth with the Superfly Splash, and I thought it was over, but Beth kicked out. This is the first time anyone's kicked out of that move. Tamina tried to go for another, but Beth rolled out of the ring... In the end, Beth hits the Glam Slam on her and retains her Divas Title. The match gets **3/4 stars from me. It could have been a minute or two longer, but other than that, it was great for a Divas match today. At least we didn't have to see Eve hit her botched moonsault! (Oh snap!)
My stream went out at this point, but there was a segment where Christian and Del Rio came back and David Otunga was kissing John Laurinaitus's ass (metaphorically). That's all I know about this segment, because it's over by the time my brother fixed the stream. Stupid internet. *grumbles like an old man about 'new-fangled technological what-cha-ma-call-its'*.
Then we get the second Elimination Chamber match. I don't understand why a PPV named "Elimination Chamber" isn't being main-evented by the Elimination Chamber, but what you gonna do? This match is definitely where the show started to take a downturn... First of all, we started off the match with Wade Barrett and Big Show. I love Wade, but he just doesn't have good in-ring chemistry against people who are as big as him or bigger. Why the hell doesn't WWE realize this and stop putting him against people like Big Show and Ezekiel Jackson?!
*Sigh* So, Wade and Show go at it, and the match is moving at a snail's pace. The crowd starts the "boring" chants, and I'm honestly only paying attention because I love Wade to death. Cody Rhodes gets sent in next, and he tries so hard to pick up the matches pace... He tried to get the crowd into it, but they weren't having it. He hits Big Show with Beautiful Disaster, and I mark out because I'm in love with that move. Then he does a springboard off the chains and nails Show with Beautiful Disaster again.
Santino comes out next, and the crowd finally cheers. Cody Rhodes hits him with a perfect moonsault, and I mark out (again). The Great Khali is out next, unfortunately, and we're back to snail pace. He hits Wade with the Punjabi Plunge (boooo!) and then he hits Cody with the same move (once again, boooo!). The Big Show spears him and eliminated him immediately, thank God.
Show keeps staring at Daniel's pod, like staring at it will make it open magically. Eventually, he can't take it anymore and he breaks down the top of the pod and climbs in to beat up Daniel. A few seconds later, the pod opens and Daniel gets the hell out of dodge. I'm going to be honest... seeing how slow Show was, I can't help but think it's time for the dude to retire. I like him, but I think he's running on empty at this point. Or maybe he was just having an off night?
Cody hits Show with a Beautiful Disaster, then Wade hits him with an elbow drops and pins him. Why are Wade and Cody acting like tag team partners? I don't know, but it was awesome. Santino rolls up Cody Rhodes, and my eye twitches. They really just had the intercontinental champ get pinned by a man who hasn't won a singles match in a month?! What the hell, WWE?!
Daniel Bryan hits Wade Barrett with a diving headbutt, and my brother starts calling Daniel a Chris Benoit wannabee. I had to tell him to shut up so that I could focus on the effing match (he hates Daniel). Even though it was Daniel who attacked Wade, Santino pins him. Don't ask me why.
We're down to Santino and Daniel. They wrestle for awhile, but Bryan Daniels-- I mean, Daniel Bryan ultimately makes Santino tap out to the Crippler Crossfa-- I mean, the Labell Lock. So, Daniel retains, and the match gets *** (mostly because of Cody Rhodes).
There's a backstage segment where Hornswoggle (ugh) talks about cheese. He makes a "cut the cheese" joke toward Natalya, who leaves the room in anger. If this stupid flatulence thing continues to be Natalya's gimmick, I'm going to slit Vince McMahon's throat... Jack Swagger insults Hornswoggle, and Justin Gabriel comes in to defend the little bastard because they're best friends for some reason. (Justin, you're supposed to be BFFs with Heath Slater, remember? Not that annoying little f*cker!) Teddy Long sets up Justin to go against Jack in an effing US Title match, even though JUSTIN GABRIEL IS ON SMACKDOWN AND I HATE THAT THEY'RE IGNORING THE BRAND SPLIT I HATE IT HATE IT I HA-- Sorry. I got carried away. *Ahem.*
The match lasted less than three minutes, and Jack retains. I gave it a DUD. Clearly, they don't know what to do with Justin, and I say put him back in a tag team with Heath Slater... and make them a babyface tag team that's all about partying and adrenaline rushes. (Come on, WWE, this could be your present to me for my sixteenth birthday! Please?)
And the main even is John Cena vs Kane in an ambulance match... It was pretty good at points, but I had trouble paying attention because Cena bores me. In the end, of course, Cena wins. The match gets **1/2 stars for the action. But honestly, I had a very hard time paying attention.
And that's it for the Elimination Chamber PPV, which was in all honesty, a terrible pay per view that you don't need to watch. The only things about the night that were great were the Raw EC, the Divas match, and Cody Rhodes... That's it. The pay-per-view gets a 6.0 out of a 10 from me for its over-all rating. Really, you don't need to watch it. It was pretty sh*tty.
