“- go down,” I heard laughter.
“What?” My voice echoed off the steel walls as I sat bolt upright in my uncomfortable bed.
“- world go down,” that same voice. It was starting to sound louder, as if the owner of the voice was getting closer to me. A shiver ran down my spine.
“Where am I? What’s going on? Please tell me!” I was starting to panic as my chest seized up, and my breathing quickened.
“Shh, it’s ok,” a whisper wrapped around me and I instantly relaxed. I yawned.
“Please tell me who’s there,” I whispered.
“Not that I could, or that I would-”
“- let it burn, under my skin, let it burn. Oh my God. Jimmy, is that you?!” A scream ripped itself from my throat, making my ears ring and ache.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
A beat… That was definitely a drum beat. I started to weep, tears streaming down my cheeks, and I looked towards my wooden bedroom door. I must be going mad, Jimmy’s… Gone.
“Am I?” A Californian drawl caressed my hearing senses, lulling me a little, and I closed my eyes.
“Yes. I got the phone call, and the others came around to see how Zacky and I were coping.” I willed myself to open my eyes and found myself staring into a pair of crystal blue eyes.
“No.” Static filled my head and I covered my ears.
“But… They found your body… And your family…” I trailed off, thinking of the expressions on his relatives faces. They were aghast.
“You’re the only one who still believes in me, Violet. The only one keeping me here.” The form of a man swam into view. 28 years old, nearly 29. Bright, blue eyes full of potential, promises that had been broken, dreams that had been vanquished. And inside, I saw a heart beating, only once, no more. Hands holding chipped drum sticks.
“Wait, what do you mean? Of course I’m not the only one who still believes in you-” I squeaked as the drum sticks clattered to the floor, shattering into dust. Simply disintegrated.
“The band replaced me with Arin. The family don’t even bother praying for me anymore,” Jimmy spat, folding his tattooed arms across his porcelain pale chest.
“That’s not true!” I cried. “They still think of you every day. They still love you! They got their forever tattoos. The fans still love you. They –we- all worship you, Jimmy. I…”
He looked up at me and I saw the flicker of a smile. I looked down, embarrassed, fidgeting with my hands, not daring to look up.
“You what?” he asked.
“I… It doesn’t matter,” I felt my cheeks heat up.
“Of course it matters, you’re Zacky’s little sister,” I felt the bed shift in weight a little as he sat down.
I stayed silent, staring at the floor where his drum sticks had smashed. There were no remains of the broken shards.
“Well, ok,” Jimmy said quietly, sighing slightly.
I peeked up at him and saw tears glistening in those beautiful, sea blue orbs.
“I came here for a reason, Vi.”
“Huh?” I questioned, slightly confused.
“You need to move on. You’re the last thread I need to cut before I can find peace in after life, on the other side. Move on.” He stated fiercely, his piercing blue eyes dancing around, making me dizzy.
“But I can’t!” I wailed.
“Why not?!” Jimmy shouted, making me jolt.
“Because I love you! I always have!” I screamed.
“Well, it’s a bit late now, don’t you think?” He chided.
“What?” I gasped, gulping in shaky breaths as I began to feel faint.
“This is so fucking stupid!” I heard a roar erupt as Jimmy vanished. Gone.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Vi! Are you ok? Vi!” I heard my brother shout.
“I’m fine, Zacky. I’m fine.” I felt eerily calm, as if a burden had been lifted.
“Are you sure?” He sounded unsure of my stableness.
“What did I just say? I’m FINE!” I screeched. “Just leave me ALONE!”
“Well, ok…” Zacky trailed off, before returning downstairs to his band mates.
But if only the 29 year old had barged his way into the room of his unwell, 25 year old sister, that maybe he would’ve found his former band mate’s pictures plastered all over her walls. Maybe he would’ve been able to convince his love sick, grief stricken younger sibling that if you love someone enough it’s better to just let them go. Maybe he would’ve been able to stop the young woman stabbing her nail scissors into the side of her neck, but Zacky couldn’t hear the tortured screams of Violet over Arin’s drumming.
“I’ve gotta take a whizz,” Synyster announced after their fifth run through of Save Me.
“You have the bladder of a four year old, Syn,” Zacky chuckled.
“Piss off, Zack.” Syn flashed his teeth and chucked his guitar on the sofa.
“You guys, I’m trying to concentrate,” Arin stressed, sounding annoyed.
Zacky and Syn exchanged a look before Syn sprinted upstairs.
“Man, he’s good, but he’ll never be The Rev.” Syn didn’t like to dwell on the past, as it hurt too much, but he found himself comparing Arin to Jimmy Sullivan more than he liked to admit.
Pah, who am I kidding? There’s no way anyone else is still thinking of The Rev every day, is there? He mused, before going into the bathroom.
Downstairs, Johnny and Matt were discussing back-up vocals when they heard a thud from upstairs.
“What the fuck?” Johnny cussed, placing his bass carefully on the worktop surface.
“Yo, Zacky V, what the hell was that?” Matt bellowed to the Rhythm Guitarist.
“Guys!! Get your asses up here now!!” they all heard Synyster shout from the top of the stairs.
Now, if Synyster had called an ambulance straight away then maybe he would’ve saved Violet’s life. But it was too late. She had finally found peace with the one she loved. But had she doomed the ones who loved her to an eternity of hurt and pain?
I felt… nothing. No lightness. No darkness. Absolutely nothing.
“- go down.” What?
“- world go down.” It was getting closer. No, wait, it was getting louder. Like when sound is amplified.
“What’s happening?” I say into the tunnel.
“You tell me.” A distant, muffled voice says back. Huh? What? That doesn’t even make any sense.
“- go down!”
That sentence again. Always getting cut off. Maybe if I figure out the full quote then I’ll find out what’s going on.
“-world go down!” amplified again. Wait. A ringing noise… No, not a ringing noise, it’s the full sentence. No thoughts pass through my mind as I process the full quote.
“Just a spoonful of Jimmy makes the whole world go down!” A male voice whispers excitedly and laughs.
“-! Wake up!” someone shakes my shoulders.
“Wait, what? Zacky? What?” I open my eyes to find the members of Avenged Sevenfold staring down at me.
“You were mumbling in your sleep, are you ok?” Syn asks softly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? I just had a weird dream, that’s all.” I rubbed my face with my hands.
“Well, ok. Just as long as you’re ok.” Zacky rubs my cheek softly.
“How’s Violet?” I ask quietly.
“Fine.” My boyfriend deadpans.
“Talking will help,” I smile at him.
“Maybe some other time, yeah?” Zacky smiles in return before picking up his guitar.
“You can always confide in me, babe,” Synyster winks playfully.
“Not today, old man, not today,” I stick my tongue out playfully as he fakes looking crestfallen, and giggle, my dream already forgotten.
But perhaps she should’ve taken note of her dream, in case of reoccurrence. Maybe it would hold the key to letting him go. But maybe, just maybe, we don’t want to let go, we want to remember him as he was, keep him in our minds, love him, cherish him, worship him, never forget, remember foREVer. And that’s fine with him, just as long as you remember…
-FIN-
“What?” My voice echoed off the steel walls as I sat bolt upright in my uncomfortable bed.
“- world go down,” that same voice. It was starting to sound louder, as if the owner of the voice was getting closer to me. A shiver ran down my spine.
“Where am I? What’s going on? Please tell me!” I was starting to panic as my chest seized up, and my breathing quickened.
“Shh, it’s ok,” a whisper wrapped around me and I instantly relaxed. I yawned.
“Please tell me who’s there,” I whispered.
“Not that I could, or that I would-”
“- let it burn, under my skin, let it burn. Oh my God. Jimmy, is that you?!” A scream ripped itself from my throat, making my ears ring and ache.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
A beat… That was definitely a drum beat. I started to weep, tears streaming down my cheeks, and I looked towards my wooden bedroom door. I must be going mad, Jimmy’s… Gone.
“Am I?” A Californian drawl caressed my hearing senses, lulling me a little, and I closed my eyes.
“Yes. I got the phone call, and the others came around to see how Zacky and I were coping.” I willed myself to open my eyes and found myself staring into a pair of crystal blue eyes.
“No.” Static filled my head and I covered my ears.
“But… They found your body… And your family…” I trailed off, thinking of the expressions on his relatives faces. They were aghast.
“You’re the only one who still believes in me, Violet. The only one keeping me here.” The form of a man swam into view. 28 years old, nearly 29. Bright, blue eyes full of potential, promises that had been broken, dreams that had been vanquished. And inside, I saw a heart beating, only once, no more. Hands holding chipped drum sticks.
“Wait, what do you mean? Of course I’m not the only one who still believes in you-” I squeaked as the drum sticks clattered to the floor, shattering into dust. Simply disintegrated.
“The band replaced me with Arin. The family don’t even bother praying for me anymore,” Jimmy spat, folding his tattooed arms across his porcelain pale chest.
“That’s not true!” I cried. “They still think of you every day. They still love you! They got their forever tattoos. The fans still love you. They –we- all worship you, Jimmy. I…”
He looked up at me and I saw the flicker of a smile. I looked down, embarrassed, fidgeting with my hands, not daring to look up.
“You what?” he asked.
“I… It doesn’t matter,” I felt my cheeks heat up.
“Of course it matters, you’re Zacky’s little sister,” I felt the bed shift in weight a little as he sat down.
I stayed silent, staring at the floor where his drum sticks had smashed. There were no remains of the broken shards.
“Well, ok,” Jimmy said quietly, sighing slightly.
I peeked up at him and saw tears glistening in those beautiful, sea blue orbs.
“I came here for a reason, Vi.”
“Huh?” I questioned, slightly confused.
“You need to move on. You’re the last thread I need to cut before I can find peace in after life, on the other side. Move on.” He stated fiercely, his piercing blue eyes dancing around, making me dizzy.
“But I can’t!” I wailed.
“Why not?!” Jimmy shouted, making me jolt.
“Because I love you! I always have!” I screamed.
“Well, it’s a bit late now, don’t you think?” He chided.
“What?” I gasped, gulping in shaky breaths as I began to feel faint.
“This is so fucking stupid!” I heard a roar erupt as Jimmy vanished. Gone.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Vi! Are you ok? Vi!” I heard my brother shout.
“I’m fine, Zacky. I’m fine.” I felt eerily calm, as if a burden had been lifted.
“Are you sure?” He sounded unsure of my stableness.
“What did I just say? I’m FINE!” I screeched. “Just leave me ALONE!”
“Well, ok…” Zacky trailed off, before returning downstairs to his band mates.
But if only the 29 year old had barged his way into the room of his unwell, 25 year old sister, that maybe he would’ve found his former band mate’s pictures plastered all over her walls. Maybe he would’ve been able to convince his love sick, grief stricken younger sibling that if you love someone enough it’s better to just let them go. Maybe he would’ve been able to stop the young woman stabbing her nail scissors into the side of her neck, but Zacky couldn’t hear the tortured screams of Violet over Arin’s drumming.
“I’ve gotta take a whizz,” Synyster announced after their fifth run through of Save Me.
“You have the bladder of a four year old, Syn,” Zacky chuckled.
“Piss off, Zack.” Syn flashed his teeth and chucked his guitar on the sofa.
“You guys, I’m trying to concentrate,” Arin stressed, sounding annoyed.
Zacky and Syn exchanged a look before Syn sprinted upstairs.
“Man, he’s good, but he’ll never be The Rev.” Syn didn’t like to dwell on the past, as it hurt too much, but he found himself comparing Arin to Jimmy Sullivan more than he liked to admit.
Pah, who am I kidding? There’s no way anyone else is still thinking of The Rev every day, is there? He mused, before going into the bathroom.
Downstairs, Johnny and Matt were discussing back-up vocals when they heard a thud from upstairs.
“What the fuck?” Johnny cussed, placing his bass carefully on the worktop surface.
“Yo, Zacky V, what the hell was that?” Matt bellowed to the Rhythm Guitarist.
“Guys!! Get your asses up here now!!” they all heard Synyster shout from the top of the stairs.
Now, if Synyster had called an ambulance straight away then maybe he would’ve saved Violet’s life. But it was too late. She had finally found peace with the one she loved. But had she doomed the ones who loved her to an eternity of hurt and pain?
I felt… nothing. No lightness. No darkness. Absolutely nothing.
“- go down.” What?
“- world go down.” It was getting closer. No, wait, it was getting louder. Like when sound is amplified.
“What’s happening?” I say into the tunnel.
“You tell me.” A distant, muffled voice says back. Huh? What? That doesn’t even make any sense.
“- go down!”
That sentence again. Always getting cut off. Maybe if I figure out the full quote then I’ll find out what’s going on.
“-world go down!” amplified again. Wait. A ringing noise… No, not a ringing noise, it’s the full sentence. No thoughts pass through my mind as I process the full quote.
“Just a spoonful of Jimmy makes the whole world go down!” A male voice whispers excitedly and laughs.
“-! Wake up!” someone shakes my shoulders.
“Wait, what? Zacky? What?” I open my eyes to find the members of Avenged Sevenfold staring down at me.
“You were mumbling in your sleep, are you ok?” Syn asks softly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? I just had a weird dream, that’s all.” I rubbed my face with my hands.
“Well, ok. Just as long as you’re ok.” Zacky rubs my cheek softly.
“How’s Violet?” I ask quietly.
“Fine.” My boyfriend deadpans.
“Talking will help,” I smile at him.
“Maybe some other time, yeah?” Zacky smiles in return before picking up his guitar.
“You can always confide in me, babe,” Synyster winks playfully.
“Not today, old man, not today,” I stick my tongue out playfully as he fakes looking crestfallen, and giggle, my dream already forgotten.
But perhaps she should’ve taken note of her dream, in case of reoccurrence. Maybe it would hold the key to letting him go. But maybe, just maybe, we don’t want to let go, we want to remember him as he was, keep him in our minds, love him, cherish him, worship him, never forget, remember foREVer. And that’s fine with him, just as long as you remember…
-FIN-
