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Being a Man Opinion Article

The Top 10 Hottest Animated Disney Women

Opinion by greedo posted over a year ago
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Ariel would've rated much higher but for her fins...
So it's the day after the long Thanksgiving weekend and I'm sitting at my desk at work thinking "Oh man, I wish I was still on vacation" when I hear two of my coworkers discussing Disney women. Or, more specifically, discussing which Disney cartoon female is the hottest of them all:

Coworker 1: What about Jasmine? She's hot!
Coworker 2: Yeah, but her nose was kind of on the big side, no?
Coworker 1: Maybe. What about Ariel?
Coworker 2: Mmm...isn't she underage?
Coworker 1: The Hunchback chick!
Coworker 2: Esmeralda? Mmm...yeah, she does this saucy dance in the movie...
Coworker 1: Yeah. That was hot.

And that got me thinking, "you know, there are a lot of hot animated Disney babes! Surely someone has made a list of them!". But alas, there was no list to be found on the internets. So yours truly decided to spin some precious cycles trying to crunch the numbers and come up with a list of the finest Disney women of all-time. The only real requirements for consideration:
1. She must be a cartoon
2. She must be, mostly, human (no cats, mice, etc.)
3. She cannot be evil (only heroines)

So without further ado, here they are. The all-time hottest Disney babes:
#1: Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) - Is there any universe where she is NOT the hottest Disney babe? She shakes, she shimmies, she sings. Con: May possibly be TOO much woman for one guy to handle...
#2: Jane (Tarzan) - Ok, I'll admit I haven't seen a Disney movie since Aladdin. But Jane just screams hotness. Gotta love the tie and white gloves. Prim and proper. Cons: Um, can you say waistline?
#3: Pocahontas - Umm...you know this is an *official* Disney wallpaper? Maybe not historically accurate, but never before has buckskin looked so good. Obviously John Smith had more than colonizing on his mind.
#4: Jasmine - Beautiful locks, rock-hard abs and she's crazy rich? Cons: Maybe her nose is a little big...
#5: Cinderella - Classic beauty. She cooks, she cleans, she sews. Cons: The in-laws. I hear her mother is a b-tch.
#6: Mulan - Good skin, lustrous black hair AND the voice of Lea Salonga? I'm in heaven. Cons: If she gets mad at you, look out, I hear she's pretty good with a sword :-(
#7: Belle (Beauty & The Beast) - Beautiful and humble lass. Devoted to her family. Cons: Likes her men thick and wooly.
#8: Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) - She's a firecracker with a social consciences. And boy can she dance! Cons: Um...what's up with her and the goat?
#9: Snow White - The fairest of them all. Cons: Those pesky little dwarves she's cohabitating with.
#10: Arial (The Little Mermaid) - One word: shells. Cons: Some seriously big 80's hair. May also be underage.
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greedo said:
I should add that honorable mentions were Megara (from Hercules) and Aurora (from Sleeping Beauty).
posted over a year ago.
 
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sfdude said:
Oh come on dude, you gotta pick a better picture for Esmeralda than that! That pic doesn't nearly do her bodacious belly-dancing body justice! I would definitely rank her in the top 5 if not top 3.
posted over a year ago.
 
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liono said:
Do Pixar babes count now that Disney owns Pixar? Cuz then I would totally add Edna Mode to the list. What a woman!
posted over a year ago.
 
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elizabeth said:
All the Disney female characters have tiny noses...
posted over a year ago.
 
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blakeyrat said:
Whoa.

What about Nani from "Lilo and Stitch" and ... whatsername from Atlantis? (Lito, I think.) Nani might me a question mark, but the chick from Atlantis was at least twice as hot as Mulan.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Retrocrush actually did top 50 cartoon babes a long time ago. You can find it in the archives.
http://www.retrocrush.com/toons/
posted over a year ago.
 
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rxsheepxr said:
Uh... one fatal flaw... Jessica Rabbit has nothing to do with Disney.
posted over a year ago.
 
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"Is there any universe where she is NOT the hottest Disney babe?"

Yup, this one.
posted over a year ago.
 
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konduite said:
rxsheepxr

You are mostly incorrect

Although it was made by the Disney studio, the film was released under the Disney subsidiary Touchstone Pictures to save face for disney, from some of the film's potentially objectionable content.
posted over a year ago.
 
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MacBeth said:
Mulan's voice was Ming Na
do your homework douchebags
posted over a year ago.
 
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MacBeth,

Lea Salonga did the singing voice for Mulan, so the point is still legit...maybe you should do your homework.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120762/
posted over a year ago.
 
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Greedo is entirely stupid, a)Jasmine, Snow White, and Pocahontas should be no where near this list, b)How can a mostly naked mermaid not be higher than 10? Don't give me that underage crap, she was old enough to get married, c)Aurora, Meg, and Nani.
Greedo is a complete douche bag
posted over a year ago.
 
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bob_ said:
LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!! ;P

haha, "douche bag"!!! loser!!!

but that mermaid really is hot, seriously!!

XDD
posted over a year ago.
 
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rammer said:
posted over a year ago.
 
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leroy said:
Anyone who thinks Jasmine shouldn't be on the list should have their head examined. She is hot.

The mermaid is hot too. And tinkerbell is a fine little lady!
posted over a year ago.
 
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jrcplanet said:
Let's assume that PIXAR movies are fair game..... and since there really hasn't been too many PIXAR movies with hot chicks in them, I am going to go with Elastagirl / Ellen Parr. In the beginning of the movie when she says to Mr. Incredible, "Well then I think you need to be more .....(whips over and under him in elstagilr fashion)....flexible" I am sorry, but if that and the possibilites don't do it for you....well then I pitty you.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Kayiko said:
i have to say.. these are some of the worst pictures of the girls that i've seen. Its hard to even believe your list when you pick some of the ugliest pictures of the girls i've seen. And i don't think Pixar should count because Pixar isn't animated. Animation needs to continue to be respected and loved. More so since they don't make animated movies anymore.
posted over a year ago.
 
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an what about the ever in fashion BARBIE ? I have 25 dolls and the movie dvd also.
posted over a year ago.
 
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elizabeth said:
lol
posted over a year ago.
 
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elizabeth said:
I like how this article is in the Being a Man spot.
posted over a year ago.
 
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JunaD said:
I'll vote for Jasmine. Disney needs more dark haired females.
posted over a year ago.
 
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dan said:
i'm reminded of the first scene in this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZV0XjyHHNC­o

you guys are actually all rating cartoons? oh man.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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Are we only counting the movies, or the T.V. series as well? Because I always had a thing for Mira Nova from "Buzz Lightyear"; And also the sexy Kim Possible. (Hell I'd even do Sheego)
posted over a year ago.
 
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auntieroo said:
Yeah..uh.. so like Snow White's supposed to be 13 years old in the movie. *laughs* Great list!
posted over a year ago.
 
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Dusky said:
Kayiko, sorry to poop on your parade, but Pixar does produce animated films. If you're saying they shouldn't count because they're 3D not traditional/2D, then maybe your argument might hold water.
posted over a year ago.
 
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nshe said:
Haha! Unlike you other sad people, I spend most my time with my girlfriend xD Not judging the looks of cartoons.

Great idea though!

edit: why not put up a list on the finest looking computer chassis? that's not sad, or is it? O_o
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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kostas011 said:
ola kala ti ginete edo mesa den katalabeno tipota
posted over a year ago.
 
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greedo said:
Thanks for all the feedback. I had fun writing this list even though I realize a lot of folks disagreed with my selections.

Shannon wrote a nifty blog post analyzing some of the choices (from a woman's point of view):
http://www.piercemattie.com/blogs/2006//12­/ho­tte­st_­ani­m..­.tm­l
posted over a year ago.
 
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patton420 said:
sorry i dont get off on cartoons. but if u turned jessica rabbit into a human. id tap that
posted over a year ago.
 
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said:
Honestly, Greedo, I think you made a wonderful decision on Jane from Tarzan. The whole Jessica Rabbit though.. that part is somewhat messed up. I mean, shes a rabbit..let alone a cartoon though.

And what's with the little caption up top... It says, "This page does not exist. It was most likely killed by a pack of wild sheep. Either way, you're lost right now." ???

That's something you put on a blank page...Not a page covered in "hot" cartoons.
posted over a year ago.
 
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MAX_777 said:
Excellent report Friend
thanks
posted over a year ago.
 
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lmfao..... woah....

btw.... ARIEL IS NO DOUBT THE HOTTEST DISNEY PRINCESS OF ALL TIME... why the hell is jessica rabbit number 1? she married a rabbit! i mean shes obviously got some issues......ill give u props for putting jane up there though....and esmeralda picture is hideous...

p.s. if u are rating princess at least put good pictures of them...

and ariel is number 1 all the way

posted over a year ago.
 
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p.p.s ariel's hair is not 80's ur picture of her just sucked
posted over a year ago.
 
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and frickin spell her name right!!!

A-R-I-E-L!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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namdernor said:
Blakeyrat, The Atlantis girl was Kida, yes, missed seeing her here. Even the bad blonde was nicely done in Atlantis. I think Nani from Lilo & Stitch should be here too... and, Greedo, kudos for remembering Jane. From Pixar? Mirage, Ellen Parr, and yes, even Edna Mode. And, yes, Tinkerbell!

Thanks, fun blog.
posted over a year ago.
 
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oldsalt said:
Those FAKE chicks don't hold a candle to the NUMBER ONE HOT CHICK OF WALT DISNEY OF ALL TIMES: ANNETTE FUNICELLO!
posted over a year ago.
 
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zmeace said:
should have been 1. jane (tarzan)
2. possibly belle
3. either jessica rabbit or jasmine
4. the one that wasnt chosen for 3
5. mulan
6. ariel
7. maybe pocahontas
8. possibly snow white or cinderella
9. which ever one wasnt chosen for 8
10. esmerelda

but definitly jane for 1
posted over a year ago.
 
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saliaje said:
dude, seriously, take it from a girl, what the hell are you doing, who in their right mind looks at what drawn out doll is hotter. go out there and get a life and a girlfriend. you all need to!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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As a girl, I will readily admit to having the "Hottest Disney Dudes" conversation. Aladdin, Prince Eric, and John Smith usually end up in the top 3.
posted over a year ago.
 
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lm21 said:
will its nice to see we all got a life!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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panj said:
i think a big one you forgot was MEG from hercules. her hips sway in a way that makes your insides melt. Shes saucy and shes got spunk
posted over a year ago.
 
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tantan said:
MacBeth, go kill yourself.

I hate women with "spunk". They usually end up being harcore cunts.
posted over a year ago.
 
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im belle:
k
posted over a year ago.
 
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Shaney said:
Okay if Kim possible is underage, there is no proof shiego is underage. And she's HOT! im talking about her role in KP. so i'd place her a 8, and what about Kuzzco : Melina, she's hotty-hot-hot and i would regard 18 in the legal age.
posted over a year ago.
 
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cezara said:
jessica rabbit is hot
posted over a year ago.
 
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fatbully said:
Sorry Greedo, Snow White looks like one of the Teletubbies. And how could you dis Aurora??? (Sleeping Beauty)
posted over a year ago.
 
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pocahontas should be number one shes totally nateral beauty and jasmine should be number 2 there my faverioutes ^_^
posted over a year ago.
 
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Wow... there's some negative feedback up there... Well, I thought this was great. I would've gone exactly the same way as you. Nice article!
posted over a year ago.
 
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I definitely agree about Jessica Rabbit being number one!
posted over a year ago.
 
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ariel is the hottest princess for sure!! why is she 10th?
also i'm surprised snow white is on the list
ok, she's pretty... but remember the super annoying voice??
also she's a little kid so shouldnt be "hot"
that's a bit wrong...
posted over a year ago.