THE STORY OF DITTO:
Ditto: Chrysalis! Their still not cracking yet! Can I just beat it out of them already!?
Twilight: Why can't I move!?
Diito: (sadistically) Because Chrysalis felt that just a caged room wouldn't be enough for someone like you.. You 'deserved' something more special.. Don't you feel honored, love?
Twilight: YOU MONSTER!
Ditto: (takes this as compliment) Hawhaw. Thank you..
Ditto: Ya, that's right! Things are gonna be different for now on! No more Celestia! and, no, more, you!
AB: Please let us go! We have family's!
Ditto: ......... Family... Oh yes.. Of COARSE you have a family! Everyone always has a family, don't they.. Well not me.. Not anymore.. Anything I ever loved was always taken away from me!.. Not even Chrysalis likes me anymore.. So what's the point of caring anymore.. I don't care about anything anymore. Not even you!
Scootaloo: ................ Ohh.. That's so sad. No wonder your a big meanie.
Ditto: (annoyed) No. No. Don't pity me, Hate me! FEAR ME!
Scootaloo: (pets him) There, there.
Ditto: (getting angry) Stop that! Why aren't you scared of me!?
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DITTO RETURNS:
Scootaloo: (sarcastically) Cheerful, aren't cha?
Ditto: I don't got much to be cheerful for. Little one..
Ditto: What even are those things?
Rarity: You mean Diamond Dogs?
Ditto: Yeah. I've been around a long long time, saw everything from Luna becoming Nightmare moon, to Queen of the changelings having a nice side. But I STILL never heard of such things,
Pinkie: Jeez.. how old ARE you!?
Ditto: .......... I keep forgetting..
Ganger: (kidnapped Ditto's little friend Scootaloo as leverage)
Ditto: You took it too far Ganger!
Ganger: Yeah, well. that's how it works sometimes..
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SWEET APPLE MASSACRE SPOOF:
Ditto: (was made into Canterlot's police chief after his redemption). I'll do my best to stop him.
Luna: Great.. But try to keep them alive this time.
Ditto: (whining) You can't keep blaming me for that.
ONE WEEK EARLIER:
Prisoner: Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?
Ditto: For the last ti- (accidently fires the gun he's holding, killing the prisoner)..
Luna: (scared) What was that!?
Ditto: (looks over) Aww, shit, I shot him in the face.
LUNA: (angry) WHAT!? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?
Ditto: Wow.. Never heard you swear...... It's kinda hot.
Luna: Shut up! I can't believe you would kill someone like that!. I mean, I knew you were always kinda crazy bu-
Ditto: I'm not crazy! It was an accident!
Luna: GOD! I'm gonna need a shower.
Ditto: (pervertly) Ohh.. Thanks for the 'vision'.
Luna: (annoyed) Shut up.. I'm not in the mood.
Ditto: We're looking for Big Mac. Stop him before murders more people.
(laugh track)
Ditto: Wait, how is that funny!?
Tom Foolery: They think EVERYTHING is funny sir.
(laugh track)
Tom: see.
Ditto: Big Macintose. You are under arrest for the murders of... Shit. I never got their names.
Big Mac: (aims gun at Scootaloo causing Ditto to go crazy. Tackle him to the ground, and violently break his arm).
Ditto: You ever threaten my Scootaloo like that again, and I'll rip your FUCKIN HEAD OFF!!
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SATEN TWIST ADVENTURES:
Ditto: (appears in Scootaloo's dream) Hey Squirt.
Scoot: D- Ditto?
Ditto: Yep.. Luny was busy so she sent me instead. Plus Celestia is trying to lose a bit of weight and dosen't want there for it.
Scootaloo: Really?.. What did you do?
Ditto: Nothing. I did nothing.
Scootaloo: (unconvinced)
Ditto: (sighs) one little fat joke..
Scootaloo: She didn't take it so well huh?
Ditto: Well.. I'm here.
Ditto: Chrysalis! Their still not cracking yet! Can I just beat it out of them already!?
Twilight: Why can't I move!?
Diito: (sadistically) Because Chrysalis felt that just a caged room wouldn't be enough for someone like you.. You 'deserved' something more special.. Don't you feel honored, love?
Twilight: YOU MONSTER!
Ditto: (takes this as compliment) Hawhaw. Thank you..
Ditto: Ya, that's right! Things are gonna be different for now on! No more Celestia! and, no, more, you!
AB: Please let us go! We have family's!
Ditto: ......... Family... Oh yes.. Of COARSE you have a family! Everyone always has a family, don't they.. Well not me.. Not anymore.. Anything I ever loved was always taken away from me!.. Not even Chrysalis likes me anymore.. So what's the point of caring anymore.. I don't care about anything anymore. Not even you!
Scootaloo: ................ Ohh.. That's so sad. No wonder your a big meanie.
Ditto: (annoyed) No. No. Don't pity me, Hate me! FEAR ME!
Scootaloo: (pets him) There, there.
Ditto: (getting angry) Stop that! Why aren't you scared of me!?
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DITTO RETURNS:
Scootaloo: (sarcastically) Cheerful, aren't cha?
Ditto: I don't got much to be cheerful for. Little one..
Ditto: What even are those things?
Rarity: You mean Diamond Dogs?
Ditto: Yeah. I've been around a long long time, saw everything from Luna becoming Nightmare moon, to Queen of the changelings having a nice side. But I STILL never heard of such things,
Pinkie: Jeez.. how old ARE you!?
Ditto: .......... I keep forgetting..
Ganger: (kidnapped Ditto's little friend Scootaloo as leverage)
Ditto: You took it too far Ganger!
Ganger: Yeah, well. that's how it works sometimes..
------------------------------------------------------------
SWEET APPLE MASSACRE SPOOF:
Ditto: (was made into Canterlot's police chief after his redemption). I'll do my best to stop him.
Luna: Great.. But try to keep them alive this time.
Ditto: (whining) You can't keep blaming me for that.
ONE WEEK EARLIER:
Prisoner: Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?
Ditto: For the last ti- (accidently fires the gun he's holding, killing the prisoner)..
Luna: (scared) What was that!?
Ditto: (looks over) Aww, shit, I shot him in the face.
LUNA: (angry) WHAT!? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?
Ditto: Wow.. Never heard you swear...... It's kinda hot.
Luna: Shut up! I can't believe you would kill someone like that!. I mean, I knew you were always kinda crazy bu-
Ditto: I'm not crazy! It was an accident!
Luna: GOD! I'm gonna need a shower.
Ditto: (pervertly) Ohh.. Thanks for the 'vision'.
Luna: (annoyed) Shut up.. I'm not in the mood.
Ditto: We're looking for Big Mac. Stop him before murders more people.
(laugh track)
Ditto: Wait, how is that funny!?
Tom Foolery: They think EVERYTHING is funny sir.
(laugh track)
Tom: see.
Ditto: Big Macintose. You are under arrest for the murders of... Shit. I never got their names.
Big Mac: (aims gun at Scootaloo causing Ditto to go crazy. Tackle him to the ground, and violently break his arm).
Ditto: You ever threaten my Scootaloo like that again, and I'll rip your FUCKIN HEAD OFF!!
------------------------------------------------------------
SATEN TWIST ADVENTURES:
Ditto: (appears in Scootaloo's dream) Hey Squirt.
Scoot: D- Ditto?
Ditto: Yep.. Luny was busy so she sent me instead. Plus Celestia is trying to lose a bit of weight and dosen't want there for it.
Scootaloo: Really?.. What did you do?
Ditto: Nothing. I did nothing.
Scootaloo: (unconvinced)
Ditto: (sighs) one little fat joke..
Scootaloo: She didn't take it so well huh?
Ditto: Well.. I'm here.
