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Again with the boredom. I am driving myself crazy here. College is about the only interesting thing I have going on. I can't seem to get myself out of this rut. Even Carlisle's little experiments with the "jedi mind tricks" on people have bored me. Not that they were that interesting to begin with- for me anyway.
For Carlisle they were like a child with a new toy- they gave him something new to play with, or perhaps a better way to describe it would be when you are a child and you get to go to a friend's house and play with their toys. Eventually, you realize that you have to give the toy back, it was never really yours, but it was fun while it lasted. Perhaps even better than playing with your old, boring toys at home. I was the child at home, and Carlisle was the child visiting, playing with my toys. I was bored already, but he was having so much fun, I didn't have the heart to tell him to go home.
At any rate, Rosalie and Emmett are counting down the days until their rapidly approaching wedding. Every flat surface in the house is covered with catalogs and magazines and clippings of brides, flowers, and cakes from various boutiques. I am trying to avoid Emmett, who wants to pin me down as his best man- again. It wouldn't be so bad except that I'd have to wear a matching powder blue suit like his. I think I'll pass that honor on to Jasper this time, and watch the incredible ceremony from the front row. Besides, someone has to pelt Emmett with rice when they walk down the aisle, and I want to make sure I get some in his mouth when people aren't looking.
Carlisle and Esme have been spending some time off and on in Isle Esme. They have been renovating their house on the island. From what I can tell, it is quite beautiful. They keep trying to get me to go, but the whole "honeymooners" vibe just turns me off the whole idea. Maybe some day. I hear the beach is quite amazing. Something worth checking out since our swimming capabilities are beyond belief considering we don't have to come up for air.
For now, I have been drowning my sorrows in classes, homework and music. I also got a new car. It was a 1974 Invader GT. The body style just looks incredible. I had to have it. I sold one of my old cars to make room for it, since Carlisle has limited us each to two cars while we live under his roof. He says we just don't have the room for it right now. It is understandable, but frustrating sometimes when I see a car that I really like. Of course, without Carlisle's rule, I would probably have our entire garage full of cars just myself.
My new song is almost finished, and I am quite pleased with it. It is a faster paced concerto, which I rarely do, but I like it. Esme thinks my composing is really coming along well. I like that she is proud of me. Other than that, not much else is new. I am still bored to death in this town. It is generally the same as any other town. I am still tired of myself, and tired of being alone. I am still lacking something in myself, and do not know what it is. Perhaps it is my humanity, which I will never get back. Perhaps it is my sanity, which I seem to lose from time to time as well.
Today seems to be one of those days where I feel a little out of sorts. Not necessarily down, but not happy either. I suppose there are never really happy days, now that I think about it. There are bad days, and okay days. I can't really remember my last happy day. I guess it doesn't really matter, I traded happy for immortality. A person has to compromise sometimes, right?
On that note, I suppose I should end things for tonight, before I get downright ugly with myself. I am getting philosophical. That is a bad sign. Time to say goodnight. So until next time, goodnight.
