Song: link
Hawkeye: *Helping Percy, and Jeff get a special freight train set up*
Gordon: This is unacceptable!!! By the power invested in my horn, and the rest of my fat body, I demand to drive the special train to Denver!
Ethan: *Stops next to Gordon with three freight cars* Did someone call?
Rainbow Dash & Pinkie Pie: *Running away from Discord*
Rainbow Dash: He's gone really mad this time.
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl. We must continue the retreat.
Henry: *Crosseyed as he stops at a station with freight cars*
Duck: Good job Henry. You made it on time.
Henry: Duh, what's a Henry?
Duck: Now if only we could give you more common sense.
Sean: *With Carter, Shayne, and Andrew* Saturday night is poker night. For us diesels anyway.
Ethan: Mind if I join in? *Stops next to the other diesels* I'm Ethan from Trainz, and I'll be your host this week for Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Tonight's schedule is down below.
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash: Rated TV-G
My Little Pornstar: Rated TV-MA
Gran Turismo: Rated TV-PG
Gran Turismo: Rated TV-PG
Carter: Hey. Do you want to join the game, or just talk to yourself?
Ethan: I guess you four can't see the people looking at us.
Theme song >> link
Seanthehedgehog Presents
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash
Based off the TV Show, Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog
Starring the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash
Her German sidekick, Pinkie Pie
The main villian, Discord
Discord's sidekicks: Screwball, Karl, and Kyle
Episode 3
Discorded Christmas
Everypony was enjoying their holiday, but Discord had plans to sabotage them.
Discord: What do you know about christmas?
Screwball: I know that there's always a character that doesn't like Christmas, but towards the ending, they change their mind.
Discord: That was only in How Gilda Stole Christmas. We need to think outside the box here. What can we do to destroy christmas for everypony?
Karl: Ooh, I know.
Kyle: I think I know too.
Discord: Yes?
Karl: Take them to an amusement park, destroy the rides they're on, and then they're six feet under.
Discord: Hmm, yes. Six feet under all that rubble, then by the time they get out, they won't be able to celebrate christmas.
Kyle: He meant they would be dead.
Discord: Oh, that works too.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were relaxing by a fireplace
Pinkie Pie: This is so warm, but I still feel a little cold.
Rainbow Dash: I'll get you a blanket.
Pinkie Pie: Nein *Hugs Rainbow Dash* I found one.
Rainbow Dash: *Sighs, then laughs*
Pinkie Pie: *Squee*
While Pinkie Pie was busy hugging Rainbow Dash, they heard the sound of stomping hooves, as they saw ponies running past sugarcube corner.
Pinkie Pie: Was ist das? Why are they all running?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. Let's go take a look. *Leaves sugarcube corner*
Pinkie Pie: *Follows*
Discord: *Finishes building Discordland* Welcome everypony. I hope this amusement park that I made myself will help you enjoy your christmas.
Ponies: Sure. *Walk into amusement park*
Rainbow Dash: Something seems fishy here. I think we better take a closer look at this amusement park.
Pinkie Pie: Ja.
Discord: Hello Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing Discord?
Discord: What does it look like I'm doing?
Pinkie Pie: You can't fool us.
Discord: What are you talking about?
Behind Discord was a ferris wheel. The wheel fell off, and rolled away with screaming ponies.
Rainbow Dash: *Points at runaway wheel* That. You see what I'm talking about?
Discord: Accidents happen.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe that wasn't an accident. You caused that on purpose.
Discord: How? I'm standing right here.
Rainbow Dash: You could've made something loose, and it would fall off by itself.
Discord: No, everything on there was-
Rainbow Dash: That's enough. Get everypony out of here, and close the park.
Discord: Hmm. Not happening.
Ponies: *On a rollercoaster* I think we might be going too fast. *Falls off*
Rainbow Dash: *Flies to falling pony, and catches him before he hits the ground*
Pony: You saved my life.
Rainbow Dash: That's what I'm hear for.
Pinkie Pie: *Stops rollercoaster from falling* And, that's what I'm here for too.
Pony: How did she-
Rainbow Dash: Don't ask.
Discord: *Laughing* Enjoy trying to save everypony, if you can *Runs away*
Rainbow Dash: Come on Pinkie Pie. We can save everypony if we work fast enough. *flies to log ride*
Ponies in logs: *about to go over loop* Is that possible?
Rainbow Dash: *Pushes log very fast on loop*
Ponies in logs: Woohoo! Awesome!
Bonbon: *Falls off tower*
Pinkie Pie: I shall save you *Jumps up in air, and catches Bonbon*
Rainbow Dash: Only one more pony to save.
Another rollercoaster was heading towards damaged track, and would fall off.
Rainbow Dash: *Gets in front of rollercoaster*
Ponies: Get out of the way!
Rainbow Dash: *Slowing down rollercoaster* Slow down before I fall off. *stops rollercoaster*
Ponies: *see broken track* Rainbow Dash saved us from falling off. YAY!!
Back at Discord's base.
Discord: What? Why didn't anypony end up... How many feet under?
Karl: Six.
Discord: Why didn't anypony end up six feet under?
Kyle: You saw everything. Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie saved them all.
Discord: Then, we need a plan to kidnap Dash's german friend, and execute her. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
The End
Song: link
Ethan: *Listening to the music* I don't remember this being a western.
Carter: Neither do the rest of us.
Andrew: What's next on your show?
Ethan: My Little Pornstar.
Shayne: What?
Sean: Oh no. Cover your eyes.
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..
Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack
Now, let's begin. Twilight Sparkle was driving her car in Pornstarville, with Spike sitting next to her. They were going to collect more ammo for Twilight's shotgun.
Twilight: Nigga, is it a nice day out, or wut?
Spike: Everyone is out enjoying the sunshine.
Twilight: *Stops at Sugarcube Corner, and sees her "friends" talking to Zecora* Yo, wut da hell do they think they're doin'?
Spike: It looks like they're hanging out with a zebra.
Twilight: Them assholes don't know wut da fuq they're doin'. *Gets out of her car, and shoots her shotgun in the air* Nigga, get da fuq outta here man!
Zecora: *Runs away*
Fluttershy: Twilight, why do you have that?
Twilight: Shut da fuq up, and get yo asses inside.
Pinkie Pie: But Twilight-
Twilight: I SAID GET YO' ASSES INSIDE!!!!
Intro
Theme song: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity: I want sex.
Applejack: Faithful, and strong.
Angel: *Shouting at Fluttershy* Hey Fluttershy, you smell like shit!!!!!
Twilight: Man, there's a lot of faggots in this town.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar. Despite everything, you are my best friends.
My Little Pornstar: Friendship Is For Faggots
Episode 8: Bribal Gossip
Twilight made Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity go inside Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight: Now, who can explain to me wut dat was all about.
Fluttershy: *Farts*
Twilight: Without being disgusting idiots.
Pinkie Pie: Well, we were having a pleasant day showing Zecora around Pornstarville, and then you show up, and say, *Imitates Twilight* Nigga get zhe fuck out of here man! *Stands on table, and talks in her normal voice* Und zhen you shoot your shotgun for no reason!
Fluttershy: Will you get down from there before you hurt yourself?
Twilight: Man, first of all, you did terrible impersonatin' me. Second, I didn't shoot my gun for no reason. I shot it to scare dat zebra, and save yo asses. Now you're getting angry at me for that?
Rainbow Dash: Zecora wasn't going to kill us.
Twilight: Man, how do you know dat?!
Rainbow Dash: Obviously, she wasn't pointing any weapons at us!
Applejack: You know Twilight, I think you're overreactin'. Nothing bad was gonna happen.
Twilight: Nigga, don't give me dat crap. I have to write to Princess Celestia about these bullshit lessons I learn about friendship.
Rarity: When did that start?
Twilight: "Apparently" it started ever since I moved here from Pontiac.
Pinkie Pie: Were you driving a Pontiac?
Everyone except Twilight laughed.
Twilight: Nigga I drive a 1961 Chevrolet Impala!
Applejack: They're both owned by GM. What's the difference?
Rainbow Dash: She makes a good point.
Twilight: Man, I'm supposed to point out facts, and you're supposed to do what I say without asking stupid questions.
Fluttershy: What questions did we ask that were stupid?
Twilight: That one.
Applejack: May we get back to the subject about Zecora?
Twilight: And that one.
Rainbow Dash: How were those questions stupid?
Twilight: And there's stupid question number 3.
Rarity: Twilight-
Twilight: Stupid question number 4.
Rarity: I wasn't going to ask you a question.
Twilight: Then wut da fuq do you want bitch?!
Rarity: Zecora has been staring at you for eight seconds non stop.
Twilight: Wuut? *Turns around, and looks at Zecora*
Zecora: *Shoots Twilight with a shotgun.
Unfortunately, Twilight survived getting shot, and was now in Zecora's hut.
Twilight: Man, where am I?
Zecora: In my house. I heard you were insulting my friends, and telling them that I was going to kill them.
Twilight: Nigga, who da fuq are you talking about?
Zecora: Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
Twilight: They're not really your friends. Are they?
Zecora: Yes they are, and you should consider yourself lucky to have friends like them. They helped me perform surgery on you after getting shot.
Twilight: Why did you shoot me?
Zecora: Because you were trying to shoot at me. It is mandatory for zebras to shoot at anypony that shoots at them.
Twilight: You must be blind, or something man. I wasn't even aiming my gun at you.
Zecora: Why did you shoot your gun?
Twilight: To scare you away man. I thought you were trying to kill those five idiots you claim to be your friends.
Zecora: Well then. I will let you go with a warning. If you ever try to hurt me, or the following ponies on this list, *Hands Twilight a list of ponies she is not allowed to hurt/kill* You will die.
Twilight looked at the list. She saw that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy were on there, including Spike, and all of the residents of Pontiac, Michigan.
Twilight: Man, dat's a lot of bullshit.
Twilight's letter to Princess Celestia.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am still pissed off that you didn't tell me about having to write letters to your ass. Pornstarville is a crappy town, and I hope to move back to Pontiac soon. I don't know why you're making me stay here. I don't deserve this torture.
Your worthless student, Twilight Sparkle
Twilight: *Sends the letter to Celestia* Man, I still wish she'd get herself a phone. It would make things less complicated. Also, for those of you readin' this shitty story... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ending theme: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. *Waiting for the instrumental part of the song to end* My Rittre Pornstar, friend.
The End
Song: link
Ethan: This is the end of tonight's first segment. I'm sure you already know what's going to happen next, but I'm being paid to tell you as if you have no clue. Part 2 will arrive at 8:30. Come back then.
Hawkeye: *Helping Percy, and Jeff get a special freight train set up*
Gordon: This is unacceptable!!! By the power invested in my horn, and the rest of my fat body, I demand to drive the special train to Denver!
Ethan: *Stops next to Gordon with three freight cars* Did someone call?
Rainbow Dash & Pinkie Pie: *Running away from Discord*
Rainbow Dash: He's gone really mad this time.
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl. We must continue the retreat.
Henry: *Crosseyed as he stops at a station with freight cars*
Duck: Good job Henry. You made it on time.
Henry: Duh, what's a Henry?
Duck: Now if only we could give you more common sense.
Sean: *With Carter, Shayne, and Andrew* Saturday night is poker night. For us diesels anyway.
Ethan: Mind if I join in? *Stops next to the other diesels* I'm Ethan from Trainz, and I'll be your host this week for Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Tonight's schedule is down below.
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash: Rated TV-G
My Little Pornstar: Rated TV-MA
Gran Turismo: Rated TV-PG
Gran Turismo: Rated TV-PG
Carter: Hey. Do you want to join the game, or just talk to yourself?
Ethan: I guess you four can't see the people looking at us.
Theme song >> link
Seanthehedgehog Presents
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash
Based off the TV Show, Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog
Starring the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash
Her German sidekick, Pinkie Pie
The main villian, Discord
Discord's sidekicks: Screwball, Karl, and Kyle
Episode 3
Discorded Christmas
Everypony was enjoying their holiday, but Discord had plans to sabotage them.
Discord: What do you know about christmas?
Screwball: I know that there's always a character that doesn't like Christmas, but towards the ending, they change their mind.
Discord: That was only in How Gilda Stole Christmas. We need to think outside the box here. What can we do to destroy christmas for everypony?
Karl: Ooh, I know.
Kyle: I think I know too.
Discord: Yes?
Karl: Take them to an amusement park, destroy the rides they're on, and then they're six feet under.
Discord: Hmm, yes. Six feet under all that rubble, then by the time they get out, they won't be able to celebrate christmas.
Kyle: He meant they would be dead.
Discord: Oh, that works too.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were relaxing by a fireplace
Pinkie Pie: This is so warm, but I still feel a little cold.
Rainbow Dash: I'll get you a blanket.
Pinkie Pie: Nein *Hugs Rainbow Dash* I found one.
Rainbow Dash: *Sighs, then laughs*
Pinkie Pie: *Squee*
While Pinkie Pie was busy hugging Rainbow Dash, they heard the sound of stomping hooves, as they saw ponies running past sugarcube corner.
Pinkie Pie: Was ist das? Why are they all running?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. Let's go take a look. *Leaves sugarcube corner*
Pinkie Pie: *Follows*
Discord: *Finishes building Discordland* Welcome everypony. I hope this amusement park that I made myself will help you enjoy your christmas.
Ponies: Sure. *Walk into amusement park*
Rainbow Dash: Something seems fishy here. I think we better take a closer look at this amusement park.
Pinkie Pie: Ja.
Discord: Hello Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing Discord?
Discord: What does it look like I'm doing?
Pinkie Pie: You can't fool us.
Discord: What are you talking about?
Behind Discord was a ferris wheel. The wheel fell off, and rolled away with screaming ponies.
Rainbow Dash: *Points at runaway wheel* That. You see what I'm talking about?
Discord: Accidents happen.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe that wasn't an accident. You caused that on purpose.
Discord: How? I'm standing right here.
Rainbow Dash: You could've made something loose, and it would fall off by itself.
Discord: No, everything on there was-
Rainbow Dash: That's enough. Get everypony out of here, and close the park.
Discord: Hmm. Not happening.
Ponies: *On a rollercoaster* I think we might be going too fast. *Falls off*
Rainbow Dash: *Flies to falling pony, and catches him before he hits the ground*
Pony: You saved my life.
Rainbow Dash: That's what I'm hear for.
Pinkie Pie: *Stops rollercoaster from falling* And, that's what I'm here for too.
Pony: How did she-
Rainbow Dash: Don't ask.
Discord: *Laughing* Enjoy trying to save everypony, if you can *Runs away*
Rainbow Dash: Come on Pinkie Pie. We can save everypony if we work fast enough. *flies to log ride*
Ponies in logs: *about to go over loop* Is that possible?
Rainbow Dash: *Pushes log very fast on loop*
Ponies in logs: Woohoo! Awesome!
Bonbon: *Falls off tower*
Pinkie Pie: I shall save you *Jumps up in air, and catches Bonbon*
Rainbow Dash: Only one more pony to save.
Another rollercoaster was heading towards damaged track, and would fall off.
Rainbow Dash: *Gets in front of rollercoaster*
Ponies: Get out of the way!
Rainbow Dash: *Slowing down rollercoaster* Slow down before I fall off. *stops rollercoaster*
Ponies: *see broken track* Rainbow Dash saved us from falling off. YAY!!
Back at Discord's base.
Discord: What? Why didn't anypony end up... How many feet under?
Karl: Six.
Discord: Why didn't anypony end up six feet under?
Kyle: You saw everything. Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie saved them all.
Discord: Then, we need a plan to kidnap Dash's german friend, and execute her. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
The End
Song: link
Ethan: *Listening to the music* I don't remember this being a western.
Carter: Neither do the rest of us.
Andrew: What's next on your show?
Ethan: My Little Pornstar.
Shayne: What?
Sean: Oh no. Cover your eyes.
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..
Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack
Now, let's begin. Twilight Sparkle was driving her car in Pornstarville, with Spike sitting next to her. They were going to collect more ammo for Twilight's shotgun.
Twilight: Nigga, is it a nice day out, or wut?
Spike: Everyone is out enjoying the sunshine.
Twilight: *Stops at Sugarcube Corner, and sees her "friends" talking to Zecora* Yo, wut da hell do they think they're doin'?
Spike: It looks like they're hanging out with a zebra.
Twilight: Them assholes don't know wut da fuq they're doin'. *Gets out of her car, and shoots her shotgun in the air* Nigga, get da fuq outta here man!
Zecora: *Runs away*
Fluttershy: Twilight, why do you have that?
Twilight: Shut da fuq up, and get yo asses inside.
Pinkie Pie: But Twilight-
Twilight: I SAID GET YO' ASSES INSIDE!!!!
Intro
Theme song: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity: I want sex.
Applejack: Faithful, and strong.
Angel: *Shouting at Fluttershy* Hey Fluttershy, you smell like shit!!!!!
Twilight: Man, there's a lot of faggots in this town.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar. Despite everything, you are my best friends.
My Little Pornstar: Friendship Is For Faggots
Episode 8: Bribal Gossip
Twilight made Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity go inside Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight: Now, who can explain to me wut dat was all about.
Fluttershy: *Farts*
Twilight: Without being disgusting idiots.
Pinkie Pie: Well, we were having a pleasant day showing Zecora around Pornstarville, and then you show up, and say, *Imitates Twilight* Nigga get zhe fuck out of here man! *Stands on table, and talks in her normal voice* Und zhen you shoot your shotgun for no reason!
Fluttershy: Will you get down from there before you hurt yourself?
Twilight: Man, first of all, you did terrible impersonatin' me. Second, I didn't shoot my gun for no reason. I shot it to scare dat zebra, and save yo asses. Now you're getting angry at me for that?
Rainbow Dash: Zecora wasn't going to kill us.
Twilight: Man, how do you know dat?!
Rainbow Dash: Obviously, she wasn't pointing any weapons at us!
Applejack: You know Twilight, I think you're overreactin'. Nothing bad was gonna happen.
Twilight: Nigga, don't give me dat crap. I have to write to Princess Celestia about these bullshit lessons I learn about friendship.
Rarity: When did that start?
Twilight: "Apparently" it started ever since I moved here from Pontiac.
Pinkie Pie: Were you driving a Pontiac?
Everyone except Twilight laughed.
Twilight: Nigga I drive a 1961 Chevrolet Impala!
Applejack: They're both owned by GM. What's the difference?
Rainbow Dash: She makes a good point.
Twilight: Man, I'm supposed to point out facts, and you're supposed to do what I say without asking stupid questions.
Fluttershy: What questions did we ask that were stupid?
Twilight: That one.
Applejack: May we get back to the subject about Zecora?
Twilight: And that one.
Rainbow Dash: How were those questions stupid?
Twilight: And there's stupid question number 3.
Rarity: Twilight-
Twilight: Stupid question number 4.
Rarity: I wasn't going to ask you a question.
Twilight: Then wut da fuq do you want bitch?!
Rarity: Zecora has been staring at you for eight seconds non stop.
Twilight: Wuut? *Turns around, and looks at Zecora*
Zecora: *Shoots Twilight with a shotgun.
Unfortunately, Twilight survived getting shot, and was now in Zecora's hut.
Twilight: Man, where am I?
Zecora: In my house. I heard you were insulting my friends, and telling them that I was going to kill them.
Twilight: Nigga, who da fuq are you talking about?
Zecora: Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.
Twilight: They're not really your friends. Are they?
Zecora: Yes they are, and you should consider yourself lucky to have friends like them. They helped me perform surgery on you after getting shot.
Twilight: Why did you shoot me?
Zecora: Because you were trying to shoot at me. It is mandatory for zebras to shoot at anypony that shoots at them.
Twilight: You must be blind, or something man. I wasn't even aiming my gun at you.
Zecora: Why did you shoot your gun?
Twilight: To scare you away man. I thought you were trying to kill those five idiots you claim to be your friends.
Zecora: Well then. I will let you go with a warning. If you ever try to hurt me, or the following ponies on this list, *Hands Twilight a list of ponies she is not allowed to hurt/kill* You will die.
Twilight looked at the list. She saw that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy were on there, including Spike, and all of the residents of Pontiac, Michigan.
Twilight: Man, dat's a lot of bullshit.
Twilight's letter to Princess Celestia.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am still pissed off that you didn't tell me about having to write letters to your ass. Pornstarville is a crappy town, and I hope to move back to Pontiac soon. I don't know why you're making me stay here. I don't deserve this torture.
Your worthless student, Twilight Sparkle
Twilight: *Sends the letter to Celestia* Man, I still wish she'd get herself a phone. It would make things less complicated. Also, for those of you readin' this shitty story... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ending theme: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. *Waiting for the instrumental part of the song to end* My Rittre Pornstar, friend.
The End
Song: link
Ethan: This is the end of tonight's first segment. I'm sure you already know what's going to happen next, but I'm being paid to tell you as if you have no clue. Part 2 will arrive at 8:30. Come back then.