Song: link
Tom: *Playing guitar* This is just like in the commercial we did earlier.
Saten Twist: *Playing drums*
Ethan: This song is an instrumental. You don't need me to sing. *Rolls off the stage*
Rainbow Dash: *Flying fast as she races Thomas*
Honey Bee: Hey, I'm back. You're just in time for back to back episodes of On The Block. Have fun.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony.
Master Sword: It's such a beautiful day, and nothing can ruin it.
Then, it started raining.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I wish I brought my umbrella with me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't believe this is actually happening.
Master Sword: Well, it could be worse. Oh wait, it is.
Tom: Why?
Master Sword: There is no crossover parody today. Instead, we will be having a musical performance by- I was just kidding.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody, Gone In 60 Minutes.
Tom: This crossover parody combines the show 60 Minutes with the 1974 film, Gone In 60 Seconds.
Master Sword: Sorry ponies, you won't see anyone impersonating Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Or Angelina Jolie.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We're starting right now.
Gone In 60 Minutes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Maindrian Pace
Master Sword as Andy Rooney
Saten Twist as Detective 1
Cosmic Rainbow as Detective 2
Mortomis as News reporter
Aina as Pumpkin
Los Angeles, 1974
Andy Rooney: Today, I'm doing a story with a special guest named Pumpkin. I don't know if that's her real name, but she doesn't know either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pumpkin: Hello. It's great to be here.
Andy: Is your real name Pumpkin?
Pumpkin: No, it's just a nickname my boyfriend gave me.
Andy: What is your real-
Pumpkin: Nopony needs to know.
Audience: *Laughing*
Andy: So tell me about your boyfriend.
Pumpkin: He's a detective.
Andy: That's not what I heard.
Pumpkin: I'm starting to doubt if you can hear at all.
Audience: Oooooh.
Pumpkin: In fact, I don't even think you're supposed to be on this show.
Andy: No.. Not yet anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Andy: Anyway, Maindrian Pace is your boyfriend. Correct?
Pumpkin: Yes.
Andy: And from I heard, he just stole a 1973 Flam Wrestler from a parking lot outside of a radio station in Long Beach.
Pumpkin: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... No?
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of the car chase, this is what was happening
Maindrian: *Driving fast on a highway*
Detective 1: *Following Maindrian*
Detective 2: Wait a second! This movie has drama in it. How are we supposed to make comedy out of that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Detective 1: There's a start.
Detective 2: I just asked a question. How is that funny?
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: We are currently looking at a car wreck that is conveniently blocking the road, as well as providing a good jump for the pony that stole the yellow Wrestler.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: We just got word that the police are currently using about, uh. 50 police cars to stop the suspect.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: I can imagine something like this happening again in twenty years. *Coughs while talking* OJ Simpson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Maindrian: *Hits the wrecked cars, and goes up in the air. The scene gets slowed down*
News Reporter: Be patient everypony. This may take a while.
Audience: *Laughing*
Maindrian: *Lands his car on the street, and spins out* Why is this in slow motion?
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: Well it seems that the police have lost the suspect. Better luck next time.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Saten Twist celebrates a drought.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 15: Are You Sure About This?
Saten Twist: *Watching CNN news*
News Pony: Breaking news!
Saten Twist: Liar. Nothing broke.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The state of Alicornia is in a huge drought!
Saten Twist: YES!!!! F*ck Alicornia!
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: Prices for food may go up because of this.
Saten Twist: Now everypony in Alicornia can stop acting like a spoiled douchebag.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Arrives* Hi Saten.
Saten Twist: Shut up. I'm watching the news.
Master Sword: *Watching the news* OH NO!!!
Saten Twist: What?
Master Sword: Alicornia is having a drought! They won't have any water.
Saten Twist: Good. Now they can stop being dicks, and leave us alone.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Ponies that live in Alicornia aren't dicks. It's recolors you have to worry about.
Saten Twist: Recolors?
Master Sword: Ponies created by people that are too lazy to make their own original characters. All they do is just recolor them, and give them a different name. It's horrifying!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: I don't get it.
Master Sword: Then let me show you. *Changes the channel*
Recolors Are Dicks
Recolor Snips: *With recolor Snails* Hey, give me all your money.
Recolor Snails: But I don't want to give you my money.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: *Points a bazooka at Recolor Snails* I said give me all the goddamn money!
Recolor Snails: Okay, take it! Geez!!
Recolor Snips: *Squeeing as he runs away with the money*
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword turned off the TV.
Master Sword: You see why recolors are bad now?
Saten Twist: Uh... What?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Forget you. I'm going to visit Blaze. *Leaves*
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Mason was dancing for a musical, when suddenly..
Mason: *Steps on a nail* AAAH!! *Falls down*
Director Nick: CUT!!! What the f*ck was that?!
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Director Nick: What do you mean you don't know? What caused you to fall down?
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Director Nick: Are you going to say that all day?
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Well think about it while you do that scene again. It was going perfect until you screwed up. We had to do this scene 86 times.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mason: Why can't you just get somepony else to do it?
Director Nick: Are you kidding? You're the best dancer we have. Connor dances like he's wearing four petticoats.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Tobias' dancing is like an Italian car.
Mason: What's so bad about that?
Director Nick: Italian cars break down every ten minutes!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Leah dances like she's taking a crap.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Louis doesn't even know how to dance!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: And Roxy doesn't even like to dance!
Roxy: Why would anypony want to do something dumb like that?
Director Nick: Who asked you?!!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
So Mason had to try dancing again. But then....
Mason: *Steps on a nail* AAAH!! *Falls down* Not again.
Director Nick: *His mouth becomes as large as a door, and his eyes pop out* CUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mason: I'm sorry sir, I almost had it.
Director Nick: Well what is making you screw up?! *Sees a nail on the floor* Where is Alinah? She was supposed to clean this up!!
Mason: Well I think that-
Director Nick: *Shouts so loud that it makes Mason fly out of the studio* ALINAH!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: oh shit. Now I don't have anypony to do that dancing scene!
Tobias: What about me sir?
Director Nick: Shoot me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was sitting at her desk when Derpy appeared.
Derpy: I'd like to inform you about something important. You're sitting at a desk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Yes I can see that you cross-eyed freak. I f***ing hate you. The news you give me, is stupid. Last week you informed me that my mane was moving by itself. I know that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Due to your retardation, you're fired. *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!! *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!! *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!!
Derpy: *Sad* But who will take over my job?
Celestia: Anyone that isn't you.
Derpy: How come you don't want me?
Celestia: Because you're an idiot. You have no common sense, and we all hate you.
Derpy: But Chrysler, and Jonathan said they liked me.
Celestia: That's because they're retards, like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Now get out of here.
Derpy left, just as soon at Twilight Sparkle arrived.
Twilight: Man, what the hell was all that noise?
Celestia: Derpy has been fired.
Twilight: At least you actually did something right around here.
Audience: Oooh.
Celestia: And what is that supposed to mean?
Twilight: Don't you remember anything man?!
Celestia: The only bad thing I can remember doing is having you as my student.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: And don't forget about giving me the voice of Ice Cube. People think I'm a stallion now, because of it.
Celestia: Would you prefer to have the voice of James Earl Jones?
Twilight: Well, since I was in a Star Wars parody as the main villian yes. *Looks at audience* Hint, Hedgehog In Ponyville!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Can you leave so I can get my new informant?
Twilight: Yeah, whatever man. I'm gonna go smoke bongs with Luna anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Four minutes later, Timothy arrived.
Timothy: Hello Princess, I have some wonderful news for you.
Celestia: I'm listening.
Timothy: I'm your new informant.
Celestia: I thought you said this would be good news.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: You're worse then Derpy! I thought I would get someone better then her, like Chrysler!
Saten Twist: You want a car for an informant?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Derpy: *Returns*
Audience: *Cheering*
Derpy: May I have my informant job back please? It's really boring not being here.
Celestia: Yes. Your uesless information is much better then Timothy's idiocracy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: *Leaves*
Derpy: Now that I'm back, I have an important question to ask you. Do you want fries with that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Yes, so I can shove them up your ass. That was a stupid question!
Derpy: But you're glad I'm back, right?
Celestia: Of course.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Corporal Agarn was helping Captain Parmenter put weapons in the supply room when this happened.
Dobbs: *Playing his bugle*
Corporal Agarn: Hey, wait a second. This was the same stuff we did last time!
Captain Parmenter: What are you talking about Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: THIS WAS THE SAME STUFF WE WERE DOING IN THE LAST EPISODE!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Well, you know what they say. The more, the merrier.
Corporal Agarn: What does that have to do with doing the same stuff over, and over agarn?
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: I mean, again.
Captain Parmenter: Hm. Good question. I'll have to ask Sargent O' Rourke.
Corporal Agarn: I figured you'd say that, but the Sarge is at the Hikawi Camp.
Captain Parmenter: What's he doing there?
Sargent O' Rourke was trading supplies with the Hikawis.
Chief Wild Eagle: What did you bring us today Sarge?
Sargent O' Rourke: Chief, I believe you'll like the stuff I have. I rode a human pulling a wagon, and all the stuff I have to offer is in there.
Chief Wild Eagle: *Walks to the wagon* I hope you did not bring guitars like last time. Last time we played them, five Indians from the Comanches attacked us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Then uh.. *Takes guitars out of wagon* How about guns? All tribes, except you have them.
Chief Wild Eagle: We do not need weapons.
Sargent O' Rourke: But all Indians like weapons. They gotta protect their land somehow.
Chief Wild Eagle: No, that's why we have Captain Parmenter, and everypony else at F Troop. Not to mention, there's a reason why Crazy Cat is named Crazy Cat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Crazy Cat: *Shoots a fire arrow at a fireplace*
Indians: *Catch on fire*
Sargent O' Rourke: Stop, drop, and roll!
Indians: Forget that! We're on fire!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't we just play poker?
Chief Wild Eagle: Ante is two bits.
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist was watching more television.
Master Sword: *Enters Saten Twist's house* You're still watching television?!
Saten Twist: They're still showing that drought in Alicornia. I really don't see why thousands of ponies care about that state.
Master Sword: They make most of our produce.
Saten Twist: We live in Neigh Jersey. We make our own produce.
Master Sword: Point taken, but still. If that drought gets worse, it could come towards us.
Saten Twist: Bullshit. We'll make it go towards the Canadians. Nopony cares about them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're starting to act like a recolor.
Saten Twist: Oh not this again.
Sean: *Knocks on door, but makes it fall* I did not want that to happen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Hey Sean, do you know what recolors are?
Sean: Don't mention them to me. They're the worst type of ponies everypony should know.
TheLivingTombstone: *Arrives* Hey! That's part of my song, Octavia's Overture. Make your own goddamn song, and stop stealing from me!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I never even heard of this guy.
Master Sword: Forget about it. He's not even part of the show. Anyway, Saten Twist doesn't know, or care about recolors.
Sean: Well you better. Otherwise, they'll kidnap you, and people will make recolors of you.
Saten Twist: I wouldn't mind seeing a green version of me.
Master Sword: So you don't care if your life is in danger?
Saten Twist: I don't even know what the word danger means.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I'm gonna try this again. I will show you why recolors are bad. *Turns on TV*
Another episode of Recolors Are Dicks appeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
The same two recolors from part 2 of this episode appear.
Recolor Snips: Hey. Give me all your money.
Recolor Snails: But I don't want to give you my money.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: *Points a bazooka at Recolor Snails* I said give me all the goddamn money!
Recolor Snails: Oh, not this again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: Give me all the goddamn money.
Recolor Snails: *Grabs a bazooka, and points it at Snips* Aha! You weren't expecting that! Were you?
Recolor Snips: Well this scenario has taken an unexpected turn.
Audience: *Laughing*
The TV turned off. Saten Twist was now confused.
Saten Twist: Why do you keep showing me this shit?
Master Sword: To let you know why recolors are dicks. I've already shown it to Snow Wonder, Double Scoop, Aina, and Tom. They all agree with me. Recolors are dicks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: F*ck you. That's all the time we have for this episode. See you next time.
The End
---
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: You see, we forgot to do this in the last episode.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: Yes, I know, we feel terrible.
Tom: Wait a second. Stop booing, and we'll let you know who Brony Of The Month is assholes.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: You're making it worse.
Tom: I'm making it worse? They're supposed to be cheering, or laughing.
Master Sword: We didn't say anything funny yet, so they can't be laughing.
Tom: I got an idea. *Grabs a loudspeaker, and a grenade. He talks in the loudspeaker* Now listen up!! If you don't stop booing, I'll shove a grenade up your ass, and kill you in a matter of seconds.
Audience: *Becomes quiet*
Master Sword: There we go.
Tom: I knew it would work. Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month award goes to Alinah_09.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword: I knew you'd like that. She deserves it.
Tom: And now for our crossover parody. We decided to make a crossover parody of two skits we are currently doing.
Master Sword: We're combining Celebrity Jeopardy with The Story Of Corporal Agarn, and we're calling it..
Tom: Wildwest Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wildwest Jeopardy
Starring Saten Twist as Alex Trebek
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
and Sean the hedgehog as Chief Wild Eagle
The four of them were outside. The gameboard, and podium were set up in the middle of the fort.
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. From now on, I would appreciate it if everyone would refrain from using any words starting with N, or F.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the score. Chief Wild Eagle has a grand total of negative $61,000
Audience: *Laughing*
Chief Wild Eagle: I'll get that money back from your Granddaughter Trebek. You 74 year old f**k.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I warned you not to say anything starting with N, or F.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: On second thought, forget that. It's gonna be a very difficult rule to follow.
Audience: No shit. *Laughing*
Alex: In last place with negative $104,000 is Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: RAMPAGE!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay. And in first place with negative $60,999 is Captain Parmenter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm in the lead, and I hope to stay there.
Corporal Agarn: But you're not in the lead. You're in Fort Courage with the rest of us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Oh I know that Corporal, I was just referring to the game.
Corporal Agarn: Oh. I see.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. It's time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. The categories are..
As soon as the board turned on, Chief Wild Eagle shot an arrow at it, and it was destroyed.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What the... Why did you do that?!
Chief Wild Eagle: It was a monster! You try to bring in monster to kill off Indian!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. We can't play now that the board is destroyed, so we'll see you in the next episode.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Master Sword rants about the news industry.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 16: I've Had Enough Of This
Master Sword: *Watching the news*
News Pony: The weather forecast for this week seems promising. Tomorrow all the way through to Friday, we will have temperatures between 60-80 degrees farenheit, and it will be sunny. However, Saturday, and Sunday will be completely cloudy. No rain will be expected however, but the temperature for Saturday will be 55, and Sunday will be 48. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! NEWS FLASH! WE GOT REPORTS OF A MISSING AIRPLANE!!
Master Sword: *Covering his ears* You don't have to shout. We can hear you!
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The missing airplane is from Delta Airlines, and at least 250 ponies were on board. The flight was going from Las Pegasus Neighvada, to St. Foalis Maressouri.
Master Sword: Who gives a f**k?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: No one cares about a goddamn airplane disappearing. We want to hear about ISIS, and how it's threatening to attack others even though they're weak, due to being from the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The Equestrian Military is trying to find out where the plane could have ended up, and will try to recover the black box.
Master Sword: The plane disappeared, because everyone stopped giving a f**k about it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: These disappearing airplanes are becoming attention whores like Twilight Sparkle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile in Fluttershy's cottage.
MLP Producers: Places everyone.
Director: Fluttershy, we want you to walk outside of your cottage with Discord, and Angel.
Then a song turned on: link
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my show!
Audience: *Cheering*
Fluttershy: I-I'm sorry Twilight.
Twilight: You better be sorry. Look at this!! *Points her horn at Fluttershy* And look at these! *Shows off her wings* I'm an alicorn princess with a black man's voice nigga!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Looks at the audience* Yo! What the hell is wrong with you?! You're suppose to cheer everytime I say the N word.
Audience: *Nervously cheer*
Then Master Sword turned the song off as he arrived on stage.
Master Sword: This is not all about you Twilight. Let Fluttershy do her thing, and be cute with Discord, and Angel. *Leaves* Now to give the news industry a piece of my mind.
CBS Studios, Manehattan.
News Pony: What's next on our news lineup?
News Pony 2: Well, since we're in Manehattan, I think we'll show some footage of some ponies being raped.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony 2: Then we'll move on to another airplane disappearing.
Master Sword: OH NO YOU WON'T!
Audience: *Clapping*
News Pony: Excuse me. Who are you?
Master Sword: I am a pony that will kill you all if you don't stop talking about disappearing airplanes. No one cares about them!
News Pony 2: I see.
News Pony: Is there anything else you want us to do?
Master Sword: Yeah. In Hawaii Five-0, get some newer police cars. The ones you're currently using are shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: Thanks for your feedback. We hope you enjoyed your visit to CBS Studios.
Master Sword: I did not. *Leaves*
News Pony: Aw. That made me sad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Bryan was with two royal guards somewhere in Canterlot. They were meeting with three Mexican ponies.
Mexican Pony: You're late.
Bryan: All the matters is the fact that I'm here. The point being... Luna tells me you have a repository of antic equipment.
Mexican Pony: So what is it you're looking for?
Bryan: What kind of noise-making equipment does your repository contain? Vuvuzelas perhaps?
Audience: Oooh!
Mexican Pony: I think we can help you. *Walks away with the other two Mexican ponies*
The leader of the Mexicans went to another pony by a wardrobe.
Mexican Pony: Come here. *Pushes pony towards the wardrobe. He opens the door, and pushes the pony into the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican Pony: Find a vuvuzela. A good one. Hurry back. *Closes door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Later
Celestia: *Sleeping*
Now for those of you that don't know what a vuvuzela is, it's a really loud horn.
Twilight: *Points the horn at Celestia, and blows in it really hard to make lots of noise*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Wakes up, and falls out of bed* I thought I banned those things!!
Twilight escaped just in time. She was now talking to some of the other ponies in the castle.
Harry: What now?
Twilight: Man, it was good, but not good enough.
Chrysler: You speak nonsense! A vuvuzela blast in your sleep? How can that be beaten? You can't seriously suggest to waste more resources just for cheap pranks.
Audience: *Light laughter*
Twilight: Anything is possible as long as the results are hysterical. We just need some guinea pigs to conceptualize ideas.
Harry: I know where we can get some. How about Alexis?
Bryan: She wouldn't even suspect a thing.
Twilight: Man, clear a path. I know just what we're gonna do.
Later, Alexis was walking down a hallway. She turned left into another hallway, and passed Chrysler who was sitting on a chair.
Alexis: *Gets hit by a big box glove on a spring, and gets her head stuck in the wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Luna, and Twilight met Cadence in a parking garage.
Twilight: Looks like someone finally joined the dark side.
Cadence: Surprised? I heard about the vuvuzela antic. I have decided to join the anarchy. With the three of us working together, we can-
Luna: Normally, I'd be the first to object. But if my protege can see potential, *Begins walking to her car* Then maybe those brains of yours can drive us to commit the most legendary antic of all time. *Gets in car*
Driver: *Starts car, and revs engine twice. He then drives away*
Cadence: *Staring at Luna*
Twilight: Man, let's get to the next scene. We went too long without anything funny happening!
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, in Celestia's room.
Derpy: *Walks into Celestia's room*
Celestia: *Staring at Derpy* Well? What do you want?!
Derpy: Twilight wants to see you outside. She wants to show you something.
Celestia: You must think that I'm stupid, right?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Celestia: YOU go out there! For all I know, a piano will fall on me out of nowhere- *Gets hit by a piano as it makes this noise: link *
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Derpy: I tried to tell you to go outside.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: TWILIGHT!!!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Up next, it's The Ass Ass Inn.
Ass Ass Inn
Starring Rainbow Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic Rainbow as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
And introducing Sean The Hedgehog as himself, only for this episode.
Announcer: For those of you that don't remember, the Ass Ass Inn is a strip club. Secretly, it's also a hotel for assassins. However, the police don't know this.
Sean: *Sitting at a table with Marisa* You really look like this mare I date in Ponyville.
Marisa: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Yeah right. How much will it cost for you to suck my dick?
Marisa: $500
Sean: That's expensive, but whatever.
As they go into a private room, Mercury enters the strip club.
Mercury: George, Richard, I got a job for you.
George: Is it the same type of job that grey hedgehog is getting with Marisa?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Come on, be serious.
George & Richard: *Sit down at Mercury's table*
Richard: Since when did you care about being serious?
Mercury: All the time.
George: Yeah, like that one time he decided to paint his gun pink.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: It was for breast cancer awareness!
Richard: That's for humans. We are ponies. We don't have breasts, so we have nothing to be aware about.
Mercury: You just don't give a shit about anything. Do you?
Richard: Not unless you have somepony for us to kill.
Mercury: A gay pride parade.
George: Oh yeah!
Half of the audience started booing.
George: Oh come on. I thought all of the audience members were straight.
Richard: Guess not. We'll just have to kill them after this skit is over.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Now, this parade is going from Union Station, all the way to Civic Center. Find a spot where no one can find you, and blow them all to hell.
George: With pleasure.
They were set up in a building across the street from Union Station.
George: I hate trains.
Audience: *Laughing*
George: Why did you pick to be by the station?
Richard: This is a good view for our assignment. Why do you hate trains anyway?
George: Season 5 hype train!
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: Here they come, get ready.
Gay Ponies: *Walking out of the station*
George: This is not what I expected.
Richard: What do you mean?
George: This is a parade. Where's the band that plays music?
Band: *Shows up out of nowhere, and plays music*
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: Make sure your silencer is on. *Puts silencer on rifle*
George: *Attaches silencer to rifle* Let's do this. *Shoots gay pride pony*
Richard: *Shoots two gay ponies with one bullet*
Audience: *Cheering*
George: They're running away, hold your fire.
Richard: What for?
George: I want to do something to one of their banners.
After everyone was gone, George used black spraypaint to write gay marriage is gay.
Richard: Nice. Let's get out of here.
Back at the Ass Ass Inn
Saten Twist: Since you didn't kill all of the ponies in that parade, you each get four grand.
George: Worth it. We vandalized one of their banners.
Saten Twist: Five grand.
Richard: Thank you.
Sean: *Leaving the Ass Ass Inn* Well, I'll see you guys later.
George: Where are you going?
Sean: I gotta help prepare the next skit. You gotta get dressed as a golfer.
George: Oh yeah. The next skit is Golfing, so don't go away.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
Otis was on the last hole with Olson, and Caddy.
Otis: Thanks for playing with me you guys. Chip called in, and said he was sick.
Olson: Hey, no problem Otis.
Caddy: We had a good time.
Otis: Well this ain't over yet. Are you still enjoying it?
Caddy: Yeah.
Otis: Then watch me sink that ball into the hole. *Puts the ball, and it goes in* It's a shame Chip can't be here. I wonder how he's feeling.
Chip: *Feeling fine as he plays Mafia 2 while eating pretzels, and drinking soda*
Audience: *Laughing*
Olson: I'm sure he feels completely terrible, and has to go to the bathroom at least once every ten minutes, because of diarrhea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: Maybe he vomits every hour on the hour.
Otis: Alright, let's not make it sound dramatic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Besides, one of you have to go.
Caddy: My ball is the furthest.
Olson: How did you figure that out?
Caddy: Your ball is on the green, and mine is still on the fairway. A 2 year old would be able to figure out that it's my turn.
Audience: *Laughing*
The three stallions went back to where Caddy's ball was, and watched him get ready.
Caddy: I'm going to get that ball in the hole from here. Just watch me. *Lightly hits the ball*
It landed on top of Olson's ball, making it go towards the hole, while Caddy watched his own ball roll back onto the fairway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: I'm going to kill you for this Olson.
Olson: Hey. You were the one hitting the ball. Not me.
After the match, they looked over their score.
Otis: It seems that my score is 64. Olson, you got a 65.
Caddy: What about me?
Otis: Just wait a minute you impatient bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Your score is 71.
Caddy: *His face turns red, and smoke comes out of his ears*
Otis: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Olson: Running away?
Otis: Yeah. *Takes off with Olson*
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tom: Welcome back everypony. We would like to introduce you to something new to the show.
Master Sword: BLOOPER REELS!!!!!!
Audience: *Clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Tom: Enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Song: link
Announcer: Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Bait, and... Oh shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Tom: Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month award goes to me!
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword: I knew you'd like that.
Tom: Okay, let's do this for real.
Take 2
Tom: Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month awarf, f**K!
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Chief Wild Eagle: *Leaning on podium* I'll get that money back from your Granddaughter Trebek. You- *Falls down as the podium gets smashed. He picks up parts of it, and realizes it's made out of wood* This is just like The Interview where James Franco finds out the food is fake in Korea!
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Director: Fluttershy, we want you to walk outside of your cottage with Discord, and Angel.
Twilight: *Arrives* Keeping it G ain't nothin'! You ain't gotta like it, cuz the hood gone love it. You ain't gotta like it, cuz the hood gone love it. Watch a young nigga.. I'm having trouble singing this. Can we do something different?
Take 2
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my show!
Director: Twilight, we're not ready yet.
Twilight: I did all that hard work for nothing!
Take 3
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my game.
Director: CUT!
***
Derpy: Twilight wants to see you outside. She wants to show you something.
Celestia: You must think that I'm stupid, right?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Celestia: YOU go out there! For all I know, a piano will fall on me out of nowhere.. Where's the piano?
Twilight: *Arrives* Man you got played, like a f***ing piano!!
Tom: That's all the time we have. See you in the next episode.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
The End
Song (Start at 0:06): link
Pinkie Pie: Nein! The show is over!
Gordon: Who cares? I get to go home.
Oliver: Yo. You're too fat to even get into your home. You overweight unicorn!
Everyone: *Laughing*
Honey Bee: Okay, time for us all to go home. We'll be here again next week. See you then.
Tom: *Playing guitar* This is just like in the commercial we did earlier.
Saten Twist: *Playing drums*
Ethan: This song is an instrumental. You don't need me to sing. *Rolls off the stage*
Rainbow Dash: *Flying fast as she races Thomas*
Honey Bee: Hey, I'm back. You're just in time for back to back episodes of On The Block. Have fun.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony.
Master Sword: It's such a beautiful day, and nothing can ruin it.
Then, it started raining.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I wish I brought my umbrella with me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't believe this is actually happening.
Master Sword: Well, it could be worse. Oh wait, it is.
Tom: Why?
Master Sword: There is no crossover parody today. Instead, we will be having a musical performance by- I was just kidding.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody, Gone In 60 Minutes.
Tom: This crossover parody combines the show 60 Minutes with the 1974 film, Gone In 60 Seconds.
Master Sword: Sorry ponies, you won't see anyone impersonating Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Or Angelina Jolie.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We're starting right now.
Gone In 60 Minutes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Maindrian Pace
Master Sword as Andy Rooney
Saten Twist as Detective 1
Cosmic Rainbow as Detective 2
Mortomis as News reporter
Aina as Pumpkin
Los Angeles, 1974
Andy Rooney: Today, I'm doing a story with a special guest named Pumpkin. I don't know if that's her real name, but she doesn't know either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pumpkin: Hello. It's great to be here.
Andy: Is your real name Pumpkin?
Pumpkin: No, it's just a nickname my boyfriend gave me.
Andy: What is your real-
Pumpkin: Nopony needs to know.
Audience: *Laughing*
Andy: So tell me about your boyfriend.
Pumpkin: He's a detective.
Andy: That's not what I heard.
Pumpkin: I'm starting to doubt if you can hear at all.
Audience: Oooooh.
Pumpkin: In fact, I don't even think you're supposed to be on this show.
Andy: No.. Not yet anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Andy: Anyway, Maindrian Pace is your boyfriend. Correct?
Pumpkin: Yes.
Andy: And from I heard, he just stole a 1973 Flam Wrestler from a parking lot outside of a radio station in Long Beach.
Pumpkin: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... No?
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of the car chase, this is what was happening
Maindrian: *Driving fast on a highway*
Detective 1: *Following Maindrian*
Detective 2: Wait a second! This movie has drama in it. How are we supposed to make comedy out of that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Detective 1: There's a start.
Detective 2: I just asked a question. How is that funny?
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: We are currently looking at a car wreck that is conveniently blocking the road, as well as providing a good jump for the pony that stole the yellow Wrestler.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: We just got word that the police are currently using about, uh. 50 police cars to stop the suspect.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: I can imagine something like this happening again in twenty years. *Coughs while talking* OJ Simpson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Maindrian: *Hits the wrecked cars, and goes up in the air. The scene gets slowed down*
News Reporter: Be patient everypony. This may take a while.
Audience: *Laughing*
Maindrian: *Lands his car on the street, and spins out* Why is this in slow motion?
Audience: *Laughing*
News Reporter: Well it seems that the police have lost the suspect. Better luck next time.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Saten Twist celebrates a drought.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 15: Are You Sure About This?
Saten Twist: *Watching CNN news*
News Pony: Breaking news!
Saten Twist: Liar. Nothing broke.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The state of Alicornia is in a huge drought!
Saten Twist: YES!!!! F*ck Alicornia!
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: Prices for food may go up because of this.
Saten Twist: Now everypony in Alicornia can stop acting like a spoiled douchebag.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Arrives* Hi Saten.
Saten Twist: Shut up. I'm watching the news.
Master Sword: *Watching the news* OH NO!!!
Saten Twist: What?
Master Sword: Alicornia is having a drought! They won't have any water.
Saten Twist: Good. Now they can stop being dicks, and leave us alone.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Ponies that live in Alicornia aren't dicks. It's recolors you have to worry about.
Saten Twist: Recolors?
Master Sword: Ponies created by people that are too lazy to make their own original characters. All they do is just recolor them, and give them a different name. It's horrifying!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: I don't get it.
Master Sword: Then let me show you. *Changes the channel*
Recolors Are Dicks
Recolor Snips: *With recolor Snails* Hey, give me all your money.
Recolor Snails: But I don't want to give you my money.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: *Points a bazooka at Recolor Snails* I said give me all the goddamn money!
Recolor Snails: Okay, take it! Geez!!
Recolor Snips: *Squeeing as he runs away with the money*
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword turned off the TV.
Master Sword: You see why recolors are bad now?
Saten Twist: Uh... What?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Forget you. I'm going to visit Blaze. *Leaves*
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Mason was dancing for a musical, when suddenly..
Mason: *Steps on a nail* AAAH!! *Falls down*
Director Nick: CUT!!! What the f*ck was that?!
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Director Nick: What do you mean you don't know? What caused you to fall down?
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Director Nick: Are you going to say that all day?
Mason: Uhh... I don't know?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Well think about it while you do that scene again. It was going perfect until you screwed up. We had to do this scene 86 times.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mason: Why can't you just get somepony else to do it?
Director Nick: Are you kidding? You're the best dancer we have. Connor dances like he's wearing four petticoats.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Tobias' dancing is like an Italian car.
Mason: What's so bad about that?
Director Nick: Italian cars break down every ten minutes!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Leah dances like she's taking a crap.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Louis doesn't even know how to dance!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: And Roxy doesn't even like to dance!
Roxy: Why would anypony want to do something dumb like that?
Director Nick: Who asked you?!!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
So Mason had to try dancing again. But then....
Mason: *Steps on a nail* AAAH!! *Falls down* Not again.
Director Nick: *His mouth becomes as large as a door, and his eyes pop out* CUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mason: I'm sorry sir, I almost had it.
Director Nick: Well what is making you screw up?! *Sees a nail on the floor* Where is Alinah? She was supposed to clean this up!!
Mason: Well I think that-
Director Nick: *Shouts so loud that it makes Mason fly out of the studio* ALINAH!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: oh shit. Now I don't have anypony to do that dancing scene!
Tobias: What about me sir?
Director Nick: Shoot me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was sitting at her desk when Derpy appeared.
Derpy: I'd like to inform you about something important. You're sitting at a desk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Yes I can see that you cross-eyed freak. I f***ing hate you. The news you give me, is stupid. Last week you informed me that my mane was moving by itself. I know that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Due to your retardation, you're fired. *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!! *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!! *Bangs hoof on desk* FIRED!!
Derpy: *Sad* But who will take over my job?
Celestia: Anyone that isn't you.
Derpy: How come you don't want me?
Celestia: Because you're an idiot. You have no common sense, and we all hate you.
Derpy: But Chrysler, and Jonathan said they liked me.
Celestia: That's because they're retards, like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Now get out of here.
Derpy left, just as soon at Twilight Sparkle arrived.
Twilight: Man, what the hell was all that noise?
Celestia: Derpy has been fired.
Twilight: At least you actually did something right around here.
Audience: Oooh.
Celestia: And what is that supposed to mean?
Twilight: Don't you remember anything man?!
Celestia: The only bad thing I can remember doing is having you as my student.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: And don't forget about giving me the voice of Ice Cube. People think I'm a stallion now, because of it.
Celestia: Would you prefer to have the voice of James Earl Jones?
Twilight: Well, since I was in a Star Wars parody as the main villian yes. *Looks at audience* Hint, Hedgehog In Ponyville!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Can you leave so I can get my new informant?
Twilight: Yeah, whatever man. I'm gonna go smoke bongs with Luna anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Four minutes later, Timothy arrived.
Timothy: Hello Princess, I have some wonderful news for you.
Celestia: I'm listening.
Timothy: I'm your new informant.
Celestia: I thought you said this would be good news.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: You're worse then Derpy! I thought I would get someone better then her, like Chrysler!
Saten Twist: You want a car for an informant?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Derpy: *Returns*
Audience: *Cheering*
Derpy: May I have my informant job back please? It's really boring not being here.
Celestia: Yes. Your uesless information is much better then Timothy's idiocracy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: *Leaves*
Derpy: Now that I'm back, I have an important question to ask you. Do you want fries with that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Yes, so I can shove them up your ass. That was a stupid question!
Derpy: But you're glad I'm back, right?
Celestia: Of course.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Corporal Agarn was helping Captain Parmenter put weapons in the supply room when this happened.
Dobbs: *Playing his bugle*
Corporal Agarn: Hey, wait a second. This was the same stuff we did last time!
Captain Parmenter: What are you talking about Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: THIS WAS THE SAME STUFF WE WERE DOING IN THE LAST EPISODE!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Well, you know what they say. The more, the merrier.
Corporal Agarn: What does that have to do with doing the same stuff over, and over agarn?
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: I mean, again.
Captain Parmenter: Hm. Good question. I'll have to ask Sargent O' Rourke.
Corporal Agarn: I figured you'd say that, but the Sarge is at the Hikawi Camp.
Captain Parmenter: What's he doing there?
Sargent O' Rourke was trading supplies with the Hikawis.
Chief Wild Eagle: What did you bring us today Sarge?
Sargent O' Rourke: Chief, I believe you'll like the stuff I have. I rode a human pulling a wagon, and all the stuff I have to offer is in there.
Chief Wild Eagle: *Walks to the wagon* I hope you did not bring guitars like last time. Last time we played them, five Indians from the Comanches attacked us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Then uh.. *Takes guitars out of wagon* How about guns? All tribes, except you have them.
Chief Wild Eagle: We do not need weapons.
Sargent O' Rourke: But all Indians like weapons. They gotta protect their land somehow.
Chief Wild Eagle: No, that's why we have Captain Parmenter, and everypony else at F Troop. Not to mention, there's a reason why Crazy Cat is named Crazy Cat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Crazy Cat: *Shoots a fire arrow at a fireplace*
Indians: *Catch on fire*
Sargent O' Rourke: Stop, drop, and roll!
Indians: Forget that! We're on fire!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't we just play poker?
Chief Wild Eagle: Ante is two bits.
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist was watching more television.
Master Sword: *Enters Saten Twist's house* You're still watching television?!
Saten Twist: They're still showing that drought in Alicornia. I really don't see why thousands of ponies care about that state.
Master Sword: They make most of our produce.
Saten Twist: We live in Neigh Jersey. We make our own produce.
Master Sword: Point taken, but still. If that drought gets worse, it could come towards us.
Saten Twist: Bullshit. We'll make it go towards the Canadians. Nopony cares about them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're starting to act like a recolor.
Saten Twist: Oh not this again.
Sean: *Knocks on door, but makes it fall* I did not want that to happen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Hey Sean, do you know what recolors are?
Sean: Don't mention them to me. They're the worst type of ponies everypony should know.
TheLivingTombstone: *Arrives* Hey! That's part of my song, Octavia's Overture. Make your own goddamn song, and stop stealing from me!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I never even heard of this guy.
Master Sword: Forget about it. He's not even part of the show. Anyway, Saten Twist doesn't know, or care about recolors.
Sean: Well you better. Otherwise, they'll kidnap you, and people will make recolors of you.
Saten Twist: I wouldn't mind seeing a green version of me.
Master Sword: So you don't care if your life is in danger?
Saten Twist: I don't even know what the word danger means.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I'm gonna try this again. I will show you why recolors are bad. *Turns on TV*
Another episode of Recolors Are Dicks appeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
The same two recolors from part 2 of this episode appear.
Recolor Snips: Hey. Give me all your money.
Recolor Snails: But I don't want to give you my money.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: *Points a bazooka at Recolor Snails* I said give me all the goddamn money!
Recolor Snails: Oh, not this again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Recolor Snips: Give me all the goddamn money.
Recolor Snails: *Grabs a bazooka, and points it at Snips* Aha! You weren't expecting that! Were you?
Recolor Snips: Well this scenario has taken an unexpected turn.
Audience: *Laughing*
The TV turned off. Saten Twist was now confused.
Saten Twist: Why do you keep showing me this shit?
Master Sword: To let you know why recolors are dicks. I've already shown it to Snow Wonder, Double Scoop, Aina, and Tom. They all agree with me. Recolors are dicks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: F*ck you. That's all the time we have for this episode. See you next time.
The End
---
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: You see, we forgot to do this in the last episode.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: Yes, I know, we feel terrible.
Tom: Wait a second. Stop booing, and we'll let you know who Brony Of The Month is assholes.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: You're making it worse.
Tom: I'm making it worse? They're supposed to be cheering, or laughing.
Master Sword: We didn't say anything funny yet, so they can't be laughing.
Tom: I got an idea. *Grabs a loudspeaker, and a grenade. He talks in the loudspeaker* Now listen up!! If you don't stop booing, I'll shove a grenade up your ass, and kill you in a matter of seconds.
Audience: *Becomes quiet*
Master Sword: There we go.
Tom: I knew it would work. Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month award goes to Alinah_09.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword: I knew you'd like that. She deserves it.
Tom: And now for our crossover parody. We decided to make a crossover parody of two skits we are currently doing.
Master Sword: We're combining Celebrity Jeopardy with The Story Of Corporal Agarn, and we're calling it..
Tom: Wildwest Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wildwest Jeopardy
Starring Saten Twist as Alex Trebek
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
and Sean the hedgehog as Chief Wild Eagle
The four of them were outside. The gameboard, and podium were set up in the middle of the fort.
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. From now on, I would appreciate it if everyone would refrain from using any words starting with N, or F.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the score. Chief Wild Eagle has a grand total of negative $61,000
Audience: *Laughing*
Chief Wild Eagle: I'll get that money back from your Granddaughter Trebek. You 74 year old f**k.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I warned you not to say anything starting with N, or F.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: On second thought, forget that. It's gonna be a very difficult rule to follow.
Audience: No shit. *Laughing*
Alex: In last place with negative $104,000 is Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: RAMPAGE!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay. And in first place with negative $60,999 is Captain Parmenter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm in the lead, and I hope to stay there.
Corporal Agarn: But you're not in the lead. You're in Fort Courage with the rest of us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Oh I know that Corporal, I was just referring to the game.
Corporal Agarn: Oh. I see.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. It's time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. The categories are..
As soon as the board turned on, Chief Wild Eagle shot an arrow at it, and it was destroyed.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What the... Why did you do that?!
Chief Wild Eagle: It was a monster! You try to bring in monster to kill off Indian!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. We can't play now that the board is destroyed, so we'll see you in the next episode.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Master Sword rants about the news industry.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 16: I've Had Enough Of This
Master Sword: *Watching the news*
News Pony: The weather forecast for this week seems promising. Tomorrow all the way through to Friday, we will have temperatures between 60-80 degrees farenheit, and it will be sunny. However, Saturday, and Sunday will be completely cloudy. No rain will be expected however, but the temperature for Saturday will be 55, and Sunday will be 48. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! NEWS FLASH! WE GOT REPORTS OF A MISSING AIRPLANE!!
Master Sword: *Covering his ears* You don't have to shout. We can hear you!
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The missing airplane is from Delta Airlines, and at least 250 ponies were on board. The flight was going from Las Pegasus Neighvada, to St. Foalis Maressouri.
Master Sword: Who gives a f**k?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: No one cares about a goddamn airplane disappearing. We want to hear about ISIS, and how it's threatening to attack others even though they're weak, due to being from the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: The Equestrian Military is trying to find out where the plane could have ended up, and will try to recover the black box.
Master Sword: The plane disappeared, because everyone stopped giving a f**k about it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: These disappearing airplanes are becoming attention whores like Twilight Sparkle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile in Fluttershy's cottage.
MLP Producers: Places everyone.
Director: Fluttershy, we want you to walk outside of your cottage with Discord, and Angel.
Then a song turned on: link
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my show!
Audience: *Cheering*
Fluttershy: I-I'm sorry Twilight.
Twilight: You better be sorry. Look at this!! *Points her horn at Fluttershy* And look at these! *Shows off her wings* I'm an alicorn princess with a black man's voice nigga!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Looks at the audience* Yo! What the hell is wrong with you?! You're suppose to cheer everytime I say the N word.
Audience: *Nervously cheer*
Then Master Sword turned the song off as he arrived on stage.
Master Sword: This is not all about you Twilight. Let Fluttershy do her thing, and be cute with Discord, and Angel. *Leaves* Now to give the news industry a piece of my mind.
CBS Studios, Manehattan.
News Pony: What's next on our news lineup?
News Pony 2: Well, since we're in Manehattan, I think we'll show some footage of some ponies being raped.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony 2: Then we'll move on to another airplane disappearing.
Master Sword: OH NO YOU WON'T!
Audience: *Clapping*
News Pony: Excuse me. Who are you?
Master Sword: I am a pony that will kill you all if you don't stop talking about disappearing airplanes. No one cares about them!
News Pony 2: I see.
News Pony: Is there anything else you want us to do?
Master Sword: Yeah. In Hawaii Five-0, get some newer police cars. The ones you're currently using are shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
News Pony: Thanks for your feedback. We hope you enjoyed your visit to CBS Studios.
Master Sword: I did not. *Leaves*
News Pony: Aw. That made me sad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Bryan was with two royal guards somewhere in Canterlot. They were meeting with three Mexican ponies.
Mexican Pony: You're late.
Bryan: All the matters is the fact that I'm here. The point being... Luna tells me you have a repository of antic equipment.
Mexican Pony: So what is it you're looking for?
Bryan: What kind of noise-making equipment does your repository contain? Vuvuzelas perhaps?
Audience: Oooh!
Mexican Pony: I think we can help you. *Walks away with the other two Mexican ponies*
The leader of the Mexicans went to another pony by a wardrobe.
Mexican Pony: Come here. *Pushes pony towards the wardrobe. He opens the door, and pushes the pony into the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican Pony: Find a vuvuzela. A good one. Hurry back. *Closes door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Later
Celestia: *Sleeping*
Now for those of you that don't know what a vuvuzela is, it's a really loud horn.
Twilight: *Points the horn at Celestia, and blows in it really hard to make lots of noise*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Wakes up, and falls out of bed* I thought I banned those things!!
Twilight escaped just in time. She was now talking to some of the other ponies in the castle.
Harry: What now?
Twilight: Man, it was good, but not good enough.
Chrysler: You speak nonsense! A vuvuzela blast in your sleep? How can that be beaten? You can't seriously suggest to waste more resources just for cheap pranks.
Audience: *Light laughter*
Twilight: Anything is possible as long as the results are hysterical. We just need some guinea pigs to conceptualize ideas.
Harry: I know where we can get some. How about Alexis?
Bryan: She wouldn't even suspect a thing.
Twilight: Man, clear a path. I know just what we're gonna do.
Later, Alexis was walking down a hallway. She turned left into another hallway, and passed Chrysler who was sitting on a chair.
Alexis: *Gets hit by a big box glove on a spring, and gets her head stuck in the wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Luna, and Twilight met Cadence in a parking garage.
Twilight: Looks like someone finally joined the dark side.
Cadence: Surprised? I heard about the vuvuzela antic. I have decided to join the anarchy. With the three of us working together, we can-
Luna: Normally, I'd be the first to object. But if my protege can see potential, *Begins walking to her car* Then maybe those brains of yours can drive us to commit the most legendary antic of all time. *Gets in car*
Driver: *Starts car, and revs engine twice. He then drives away*
Cadence: *Staring at Luna*
Twilight: Man, let's get to the next scene. We went too long without anything funny happening!
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, in Celestia's room.
Derpy: *Walks into Celestia's room*
Celestia: *Staring at Derpy* Well? What do you want?!
Derpy: Twilight wants to see you outside. She wants to show you something.
Celestia: You must think that I'm stupid, right?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Celestia: YOU go out there! For all I know, a piano will fall on me out of nowhere- *Gets hit by a piano as it makes this noise: link *
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Derpy: I tried to tell you to go outside.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: TWILIGHT!!!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Up next, it's The Ass Ass Inn.
Ass Ass Inn
Starring Rainbow Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic Rainbow as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
And introducing Sean The Hedgehog as himself, only for this episode.
Announcer: For those of you that don't remember, the Ass Ass Inn is a strip club. Secretly, it's also a hotel for assassins. However, the police don't know this.
Sean: *Sitting at a table with Marisa* You really look like this mare I date in Ponyville.
Marisa: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Yeah right. How much will it cost for you to suck my dick?
Marisa: $500
Sean: That's expensive, but whatever.
As they go into a private room, Mercury enters the strip club.
Mercury: George, Richard, I got a job for you.
George: Is it the same type of job that grey hedgehog is getting with Marisa?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Come on, be serious.
George & Richard: *Sit down at Mercury's table*
Richard: Since when did you care about being serious?
Mercury: All the time.
George: Yeah, like that one time he decided to paint his gun pink.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: It was for breast cancer awareness!
Richard: That's for humans. We are ponies. We don't have breasts, so we have nothing to be aware about.
Mercury: You just don't give a shit about anything. Do you?
Richard: Not unless you have somepony for us to kill.
Mercury: A gay pride parade.
George: Oh yeah!
Half of the audience started booing.
George: Oh come on. I thought all of the audience members were straight.
Richard: Guess not. We'll just have to kill them after this skit is over.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Now, this parade is going from Union Station, all the way to Civic Center. Find a spot where no one can find you, and blow them all to hell.
George: With pleasure.
They were set up in a building across the street from Union Station.
George: I hate trains.
Audience: *Laughing*
George: Why did you pick to be by the station?
Richard: This is a good view for our assignment. Why do you hate trains anyway?
George: Season 5 hype train!
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: Here they come, get ready.
Gay Ponies: *Walking out of the station*
George: This is not what I expected.
Richard: What do you mean?
George: This is a parade. Where's the band that plays music?
Band: *Shows up out of nowhere, and plays music*
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: Make sure your silencer is on. *Puts silencer on rifle*
George: *Attaches silencer to rifle* Let's do this. *Shoots gay pride pony*
Richard: *Shoots two gay ponies with one bullet*
Audience: *Cheering*
George: They're running away, hold your fire.
Richard: What for?
George: I want to do something to one of their banners.
After everyone was gone, George used black spraypaint to write gay marriage is gay.
Richard: Nice. Let's get out of here.
Back at the Ass Ass Inn
Saten Twist: Since you didn't kill all of the ponies in that parade, you each get four grand.
George: Worth it. We vandalized one of their banners.
Saten Twist: Five grand.
Richard: Thank you.
Sean: *Leaving the Ass Ass Inn* Well, I'll see you guys later.
George: Where are you going?
Sean: I gotta help prepare the next skit. You gotta get dressed as a golfer.
George: Oh yeah. The next skit is Golfing, so don't go away.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
Otis was on the last hole with Olson, and Caddy.
Otis: Thanks for playing with me you guys. Chip called in, and said he was sick.
Olson: Hey, no problem Otis.
Caddy: We had a good time.
Otis: Well this ain't over yet. Are you still enjoying it?
Caddy: Yeah.
Otis: Then watch me sink that ball into the hole. *Puts the ball, and it goes in* It's a shame Chip can't be here. I wonder how he's feeling.
Chip: *Feeling fine as he plays Mafia 2 while eating pretzels, and drinking soda*
Audience: *Laughing*
Olson: I'm sure he feels completely terrible, and has to go to the bathroom at least once every ten minutes, because of diarrhea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: Maybe he vomits every hour on the hour.
Otis: Alright, let's not make it sound dramatic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Besides, one of you have to go.
Caddy: My ball is the furthest.
Olson: How did you figure that out?
Caddy: Your ball is on the green, and mine is still on the fairway. A 2 year old would be able to figure out that it's my turn.
Audience: *Laughing*
The three stallions went back to where Caddy's ball was, and watched him get ready.
Caddy: I'm going to get that ball in the hole from here. Just watch me. *Lightly hits the ball*
It landed on top of Olson's ball, making it go towards the hole, while Caddy watched his own ball roll back onto the fairway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: I'm going to kill you for this Olson.
Olson: Hey. You were the one hitting the ball. Not me.
After the match, they looked over their score.
Otis: It seems that my score is 64. Olson, you got a 65.
Caddy: What about me?
Otis: Just wait a minute you impatient bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Your score is 71.
Caddy: *His face turns red, and smoke comes out of his ears*
Otis: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Olson: Running away?
Otis: Yeah. *Takes off with Olson*
Audience: *Laughing*
Caddy: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tom: Welcome back everypony. We would like to introduce you to something new to the show.
Master Sword: BLOOPER REELS!!!!!!
Audience: *Clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Tom: Enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Song: link
Announcer: Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Bait, and... Oh shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Tom: Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month award goes to me!
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword: I knew you'd like that.
Tom: Okay, let's do this for real.
Take 2
Tom: Now for April 2015, the Brony Of The Month awarf, f**K!
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Chief Wild Eagle: *Leaning on podium* I'll get that money back from your Granddaughter Trebek. You- *Falls down as the podium gets smashed. He picks up parts of it, and realizes it's made out of wood* This is just like The Interview where James Franco finds out the food is fake in Korea!
Audience: *Laughing*
***
Director: Fluttershy, we want you to walk outside of your cottage with Discord, and Angel.
Twilight: *Arrives* Keeping it G ain't nothin'! You ain't gotta like it, cuz the hood gone love it. You ain't gotta like it, cuz the hood gone love it. Watch a young nigga.. I'm having trouble singing this. Can we do something different?
Take 2
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my show!
Director: Twilight, we're not ready yet.
Twilight: I did all that hard work for nothing!
Take 3
Twilight: Man, move out of the f**king way you dumbass nigga! This is my game.
Director: CUT!
***
Derpy: Twilight wants to see you outside. She wants to show you something.
Celestia: You must think that I'm stupid, right?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Celestia: YOU go out there! For all I know, a piano will fall on me out of nowhere.. Where's the piano?
Twilight: *Arrives* Man you got played, like a f***ing piano!!
Tom: That's all the time we have. See you in the next episode.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
The End
Song (Start at 0:06): link
Pinkie Pie: Nein! The show is over!
Gordon: Who cares? I get to go home.
Oliver: Yo. You're too fat to even get into your home. You overweight unicorn!
Everyone: *Laughing*
Honey Bee: Okay, time for us all to go home. We'll be here again next week. See you then.
