Song: link
Twilight: Let me point this out right now! I'm the most important pony in the entire universe!
Applejack: Did you even check to see where you were standing?
Twilight: Why?
Eddie: *Blows his horn as he runs over Twilight*
Rarity: *Watching Eddie leave as he pulls fifteen Southern Pacific boxcars*
Fluttershy: Will she be okay?
Rainbow Dash: Somehow, I don't doubt it. Let's get My Little Pornstar: The Fanfiction set up. This is the original version by the way, not the extended one.
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..
Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Edward Richtofen from Call Of Duty: Black Ops - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack
Now, let's begin with the intro
Intro
Theme song: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity: I want sex.
Applejack: Faithful, and strong.
Angel: *Shouting at Fluttershy* Hey Fluttershy, you smell like shit!!!!!
Twilight: Man, there's a lot of faggots in this town.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar. Despite everything, you are my best friends.
My Little Pornstar: Friendship Is For Faggots
Our story takes place in the year 1968. Twilight Sparkle has been a princess for an entire year, and America has experienced lots of change. As of right now, their army is fighting against the Vietnamese, and Shining Armor is one of the ponies that got drafted to fight in Vietnam.
American Ponies: *Running to cover while firing M16 rifles*
Vietnamese Ponies: *Returning fire with AK47's*
But, everyone in Pornstarville would experience a new enemy. It all started when Applebloom arrived at her school.
Applebloom: Howdy Sweetie Belle. Why are all of the students standing outside? Shouldn't we be in the school?
Sweetie Belle: Oh Applebloom! It's terrible! Cheerilee got fired!
Applebloom: What? Who would do that to Cheerilee?
Sweetie Belle: Some stallion that drives an orange car. Not only did he fire Cheerilee, but he also took Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon away. No one has seen them since.
Applebloom: We might be next.
Sweetie Belle: We were told to stay here until he returned. You're lucky he hasn't seen you yet.
Scootaloo: *Looks down the road, and sees an orange car coming* I don't know about that.
Sweetie Belle: Applebloom, you have to get out of here. Find someone to help us, and save Cheerilee, and the others if they haven't been killed yet.
Applebloom: Okay. *Sees a brown stallion get in a car, and hops in the back without the driver noticing*
Applebloom hops into the back of this car
Brown Stallion: *Drives the car with Applebloom in the back*
Sweetie Belle: Good luck Applebloom.
Stallion; *Sees Applebloom in the car, turns around, and chases it*
Song: link
Brown Stallion: *Sees the orange car get closer to him, and floors it*
Stallion: *Follows the brown stallion's car*
Applebloom: *Looks at the orange car*
Stallion: *Lightly taps the back of the car Applebloom is in*
Brown Stallion: *Turns left*
Stallion: *Gets to the right side of the car Applebloom is in, and pushes it to the left*
Brown Stallion: *Nearly hits a dark green Cadillac, then turns right*
Stallion: *Hits a fire hydrant*
Brown Stallion: *Passes an intersection that has a red light*
Stallion: *About to cross the intersection, but gets hit on the right from a big rig hauling a flatbed. He then crashes into a black car that looks just like his*
Applebloom knew she was safe now. She decided to go tell Rainbow Dash about the horrible news.
Stop the song
Applebloom: *Hops out of the car as it passes Rainbow Dash's cloudhouse* Rainbow Dash?! *Stands on top of an Oldsmobile* Rainbow Dash, I need your help!!
Rainbow Dash: *Comes out of her cloud house, and lands in front of Applebloom* What's the problem? *Sees a purple car stop behind Applebloom* (Who's car could this be?)
Stallions: *Get out of the car, and walk toward Applebloom* You there! We want to have a word with you!
Applebloom: Leave me alone!! *Running away*
Stallions: *Chasing Applebloom. They grab her, punch her, and drag her toward the car*
Applebloom: This is a mad house!! A maad hooouse!!! *Gets placed in the trunk of the car*
Stallions: *Drive away*
Rainbow Dash decided to tell Princess Celestia about the horror that she just saw. She flew back into her cloudhouse, and made a call to the princess.
Rainbow Dash: *Holding onto the phone* Please pick up.
Celestia: *Answers the call* Hello?
Rainbow Dash: Princess? This is Rainbow Dash-
Celestia: *Pleased* Dashie! What's happening my friend?
Rainbow Dash: Nothing good. You see-
Celestia: Have I ever introduced you to my friend Tirek? We're coming down to Pornstarville to visit you, your friends, and see a new film called Where Eagles Dare. Care to join us?
Rainbow Dash: Okay.
Celestia: Good. *Hangs up*
6 hours later
Rainbow Dash: *With Princess Celestia, and Tirek* It's great to see you two, but I have something important to tell you. Applebloom, and her friends are in trouble.
Celestia: Oh don't worry about them Rainbow Dash. Those three can get away with anything.
Tirek: Princess. The movie?
Celestia: Oh yes. We must get going Rainbow Dash. Can you go with us?
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry Celestia, but I have other things to do. Pinkie Pie, and Twilight want me to help them expand the library.
Celestia: Oh well. Perhaps another time. *Walks away with Tirek*
At the movie theater, Celestia, and Tirek were waiting for their popcorn.
Tirek: The movie starts in seven minutes. We have plenty of time.
Celestia: Okay. You know Tirek, I want to tell you something-
Movie Pony: Miss Celestia, do you want butter on your popcorn?
Celestia: Ugh, James! Please don't interrupt me while I'm talking!
Movie Pony: Fine, I'll just give you the kernels! *Muttering to himself*
Tirek: You were saying Celestia?
Celestia: So, if anything bad were to happen to me, god forbid, you can take my place as princess of Pontiac.
Tirek: You mean, be the prince of Pontiac? Do you really mean that? It's a huge responsibility.
Celestia: Yes, I do mean it. You're a good guy, and I know you'll take good care of everyone.
Tirek: Thank you Celestia. You don't know how much this means to me. By the way, I have a really awesome boat that I want to take a ride on with you, after the movie.
Celestia: I'd be delighted.
After the movie, Celestia, and Tirek went to the harbor to ride on Tirek's boat. It was dark by the time they arrived.
Tirek: Are you ready for the ride?
Celestia: Yes I am, and might I add, this is a very nice boat you have.
They both got on board, and the boat left the harbor. They didn't go far though, because the boat started to sink. Tirek, and the driver of the boat swam to the harbor, but unfortunately, Celestia drowned.
Song (Start it at 1:31:52): link
Celestia's funeral was held in Pontiac. Everyone from all over America came to the funeral, including the mane 6. Many ponies had some things to say, including how much they loved Celestia, and how they were going to miss her. Everyone felt remorse, and sadness, and some had tears coming out of their eyes. Princess Celestia was a wonderful princess, and would be missed by everyone.
The day after Celestia's funeral, Tirek arrived at the town's courthouse.
Court Pony: Good morning Tirek. I have the papers for you. *Hands Tirek several papers stapled together. The first page says how to rule Equestria nicely*
Tirek: Thank you sir. *Leaves the courthouse, while looking at the papers*
Song: link
Five months, and eight days later, it was new years day, 1969. Since Tirek has been the new prince of Pontiac, things did not go well. Unlike Celestia, Tirek was very mean. He made frequent visits to Pornstarville, and was disgusted with the population of mares. Slowly, stallions have been taking over their place.
One day, Rarity parked her car in front of Carousel Boutique, and was listening to this song on her I pad: link
Rarity: *Walks into her boutique turning the volume up higher, and sees Tirek*
Tirek: Come here Rarity. We need to talk.
Rarity: *Comes closer to Tirek*
Tirek: I'm not happy with you Rarity. Do you know why?
Rarity: Is it because I'm listening to a genre of music that hasn't been created yet on a piece of technology that also has not been created yet?
Tirek: You were fifteen minutes late yesterday when delivering your dresses to Neigh York City. Explain yourself.
Rarity: With all due respect, it was the police at the entrance of the Holland Tunnel. They wouldn't let me pass, even though I had fifty cents, for the toll.
Tirek: Now Rarity, I know you're not a bad pony. You know what happens to bad ponies here. Right?
Rarity: *Looks out her window*
Roseluck: *Gets executed by an orange stallion*
Tirek: I shall see you later. *Leaves the boutique* And get rid of the music, and whatever it is it's coming out of!
Later that night, when Rarity was sleeping, three stallions walked in. They took Rarity away from her home.
Next morning, Tirek ordered Rainbow Dash to pull five wagons full of fruit from Sweet Apple Acres to the school.
Rainbow Dash: *In her usual cheerful state, walking to the wagons*
Stallions: *Staring at Rainbow Dash* That's too heavy for you. I don't know why Tirek assigned you to pull those wagons.
Rainbow Dash: These aren't too heavy for me. *Gets herself hitched up*
Applejack: *Comes out with Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith* Taking the fruit to the school Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Yes.
Stallion: She's not going to make it.
Big Macintosh: Don't doubt it. There's one way she does it.
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: *Slowly pulls the wagons* I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. *Gaining speed* I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Stallion: Wait a minute, didn't this already happen in one episode?
Applejack: Yeah.
After that ended, Rainbow Dash left the fruit at the school, and was pulling more wagons to town hall, when she saw Pinkie Pie with Twilight, and Derpy at Rarity's boutique.
Rainbow Dash: What's going on?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, it's terrible!! Zhey kidnapped Rarity!
Tirek: *Arrives* Pinkie, are you crazy holding unauthorized meetings behind my back?! Just look at Rainbow Dash's wagons! Any second, there could be a huge accident!
Stallions: *Crash into Rainbow Dash's wagons*
Tirek: That's it Pinkie, you'll be hearing from me later.
That night in Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was making more cupcakes when the stallion with the orange car stopped in front of the store.
Stallion: *Walks into Sugarcube Corner*
Pinkie Pie: You are one of zhe stallions vorking for Tirek! Vhat are you doing here?!
Stallion: To take you out you German! *Knocks out Pinkie Pie, and takes her away*
Next morning, Tirek forced everyone in Pornstarville to meet with him in Sugarcube Corner.
Tirek: Okay everyone. Have you noticed a missing pony?
Rainbow Dash: You took Pinkie Pie away? How could you?!
Tirek: That's right, I did take her away. The rest of you are now on probation!
For Rainbow Dash, this was the last straw, she decided to go on a rescue mission to save her best friend. That night, she got the keys to her brand new Dodge Charger, and with another song from the future, she started her search.
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: *Starts her car, and drives it*
Vinyl Scratch: *Walking down the street, and sees Rainbow Dash*
Rainbow Dash: *Looking in buildings, hoping to find Pinkie Pie. She turns right at an intersection, and continues looking for Pinkie Pie*
Rainbow Dash looked all over Pornstarville, but couldn't find Pinkie Pie anywhere. She drove into Pontiac, and looked for her there. Alas, there was no sign of her friend. Rainbow Dash was just about to give up her search when suddenly...
Rainbow Dash: *Sees an orange car* Uh oh. That's one of Tirek's ponies. *Turns right, and turns off the music* I hope he didn't see me.
Stallion: *Keeps going straight*
Rainbow Dash: Phew, that was close. *Hears tapping on her window, and sees Pinkie Pie. She lowers the window*
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, I'm so glad I found you.
Rainbow Dash: I'm so glad you found me too. Now hop in. I have to get you out of here.
And with Pinkie Pie at her side, Rainbow Dash left Pontiac.
Pinkie Pie: Do you zhink anyone is following us?
Rainbow Dash: I hope not. Keep an eye out for anyone that you think is working for Tirek.
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl Regenbogen Strich.
Rainbow Dash: As much as I'm glad I saved you, please speak English.
Pinkie Pie: Okay. *Sees an orange car behind her* Remember seeing an orange Chevrolet Nova?
Rainbow Dash: What? *Looks behind her* Oh no, that's one of Tirek's ponies! *Floors it*
Stallion: *Follows Rainbow Dash*
Pinkie Pie: Zhere's not much he can do.
Stallion: *Opens a window on his car, and grabs a revolver*
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I take it back!
Stallion: *Shoots the back window on Rainbow Dash's car twice*
Pinkie Pie: Did you bring any veapons?
Rainbow Dash: No.
Pinkie Pie: Was zum Teufel?! How could you forget?!
Rainbow Dash: I didn't forget. *Hears a bullet hit her car's door* I didn't think I'd need one.
Pinkie Pie: Vell zhis is vhere you're proven wrong my friend. If I vas rescuing you, I'd bring several guns!
Tirek: *Blocks the road with a Jeep*
Rainbow Dash: That's not good! *Swerves, and drives off the road*
The car crashed through the roof of a building.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh... *Massaging her forehead* Are you okay Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Ja, but I'm still cross at you for not bringing any veapons!
Rainbow Dash: *Gets out of the car with Pinkie Pie* I think we lost those guys.
Stallion: Oh no you didn't. *Points the gun at Rainbow Dash* Now, both of you are coming out with us.
Tirek: *Arrives* Naughty naughty mares. You shouldn't have tried to escape. Stallions are better.
Rainbow Dash: Is this what all of the fighting is about? Because we're mares?
Pinkie Pie: Sounds stupid if you ask me.
Tirek: SHUT UP! Stallions are superior!
Stallion: Now just come with us.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. *Walks with Pinkie Pie toward Tirek, and the stallion, but they accidentally step on a high speed model train*
Tirek: Wait. Where are we?
Stallion: *Looks around him, and sees lots of model trains* We're at a model train shop.
Tirek: Get on that train, and stop them. I'm going to wait for you further up the line.
Stallion: *Gets on the train as the last car passes him*
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: We're going to escape!
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl.
Stallion: *Walks up to Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash, pointing the gun at them* Not if I have anything to say about it.
Rainbow Dash: *Hits the stallion, and watches him land on the front of another model train*
Pinkie Pie: Good one.
Tirek: *Angry. He tries to grab the two mares, but accidentally pushes them onto the other train* Oh great.
Rainbow Dash: Now he's up front.
Stallion: What? *Turns around, and sees Rainbow Dash with Pinkie Pie. He fires one bullet from his gun, but he hits the radio, and changes the music*
Song: link
Stallion: *Fires another bullet from his gun, and shoots the coupling between the train, and the car that Pinkie Pie is on, just as soon as they pass a switch. The train goes straight, and Pinkie's car goes to the right*
Pinkie Pie: *Leaning forward, making her car go faster then the train* Don't worry Dashie, everyzhing is under control. *Takes the gun from the stallion* I'll have zhat if you don't mind, eh? *Looks in front of her, and sees a window in the wall* Whoa!!!
The car she was on hit a set of buffers, and she flew through the window.
Rainbow Dash: *Slowly moves up toward the front of the train*
Pinkie Pie: *On a luggage trolley next to the train, holding a net* Tally ho! Leave it to me Dashie. I'll catch zhat pony. *Raises the net, but it gets caught on a moose head, and she falls on the back of the train* Aaaahhhh!!!
Rainbow Dash: *Sees the stallion uncouple the locomotive from the train, and tries to catch him*
Pinkie Pie: Get him Dashie!
Stallion: *Going faster, he hits the button for a switch track, making him go forward while the two mares go right*
Pinkie Pie: *Sees the end of the line* Dashie, ve're doomed!
Rainbow Dash: *Sees a box full of train tracks, and grabs it. She quickly lays down more track to make the train turn around, and follow the stallion on the locomotive*
Pinkie Pie: Mind zhe table!!
Rainbow Dash: *Puts down track to make the train go quickly to the right, then to the left*
Pinkie Pie: *Frightened* AAAAHHHHHH!!!
Stallion: *Looks at the straight track in front of him, thinking he will get away*
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track, letting her train cross the track that the stallion is travelling on*
Pinkie Pie: Gotcha! *Grabs the locomotive* Was ist das?
Stallion: *On the tender of the locomotive. He sees the two mares catching up to them*
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track, having them next to the stallion*
Pinkie Pie: All yours Dashie!
The stallion was reaching the end of the line, and suddenly, the tender he was on hit the buffers, and he was airborne.
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track having her train stay below the stallion*
Eventually, the train crashed into a drawer, and Rainbow Dash was on the ground.
Stallion: *Falling towards Rainbow Dash*
Rainbow Dash: *Grabs a glass bottle, and has the stallion land in that. His body gets stuck in it, and his head sticks out*
Pinkie Pie: *Rolls over to Rainbow Dash from the end of the train* Wunderbar! We did it. Now we must report to zhe authorities about Tirek doing a lousy job!
But they had no need to do that. Someone already beat them to it.
Rainbow Dash: *Walks out of the model train shop with Pinkie Pie, and sees Twilight Sparkle* Twilight?
Twilight: Yeah man. Who else were you expectin'?! Mothafuckin' Malcolm X?
Pinkie Pie: So much for making a fan fiction vithout swearing.
Rainbow Dash: There already was swearing. Remember the intro?
Pinkie Pie: Shit, I forgot about zhat!
Twilight: Anyway man, I should have taken Princess Celestia's spot! Or Luna! Why did she let fuckin' Tirek take her place man?!
Tirek: Because we were close friends. *Gets pushed into a police car* I'll break out of jail one day, and I'll get back at you! ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Twilight: Nigga, I don't think so!
Rainbow Dash: Why not?
Twilight: Because this fan fiction was suppose to focus on me, but it didn't! So I'm puttin' an end to it!!
Pinkie Pie: You can't just do zhat. It's unfair to-
The End
Applejack: Thank's for watching everyone.
Kevin: We'll be back next week with episodes from On The Block.
Twilight: Let me point this out right now! I'm the most important pony in the entire universe!
Applejack: Did you even check to see where you were standing?
Twilight: Why?
Eddie: *Blows his horn as he runs over Twilight*
Rarity: *Watching Eddie leave as he pulls fifteen Southern Pacific boxcars*
Fluttershy: Will she be okay?
Rainbow Dash: Somehow, I don't doubt it. Let's get My Little Pornstar: The Fanfiction set up. This is the original version by the way, not the extended one.
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..
Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Edward Richtofen from Call Of Duty: Black Ops - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack
Now, let's begin with the intro
Intro
Theme song: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity: I want sex.
Applejack: Faithful, and strong.
Angel: *Shouting at Fluttershy* Hey Fluttershy, you smell like shit!!!!!
Twilight: Man, there's a lot of faggots in this town.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar. Despite everything, you are my best friends.
My Little Pornstar: Friendship Is For Faggots
Our story takes place in the year 1968. Twilight Sparkle has been a princess for an entire year, and America has experienced lots of change. As of right now, their army is fighting against the Vietnamese, and Shining Armor is one of the ponies that got drafted to fight in Vietnam.
American Ponies: *Running to cover while firing M16 rifles*
Vietnamese Ponies: *Returning fire with AK47's*
But, everyone in Pornstarville would experience a new enemy. It all started when Applebloom arrived at her school.
Applebloom: Howdy Sweetie Belle. Why are all of the students standing outside? Shouldn't we be in the school?
Sweetie Belle: Oh Applebloom! It's terrible! Cheerilee got fired!
Applebloom: What? Who would do that to Cheerilee?
Sweetie Belle: Some stallion that drives an orange car. Not only did he fire Cheerilee, but he also took Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon away. No one has seen them since.
Applebloom: We might be next.
Sweetie Belle: We were told to stay here until he returned. You're lucky he hasn't seen you yet.
Scootaloo: *Looks down the road, and sees an orange car coming* I don't know about that.
Sweetie Belle: Applebloom, you have to get out of here. Find someone to help us, and save Cheerilee, and the others if they haven't been killed yet.
Applebloom: Okay. *Sees a brown stallion get in a car, and hops in the back without the driver noticing*
Applebloom hops into the back of this car
Brown Stallion: *Drives the car with Applebloom in the back*
Sweetie Belle: Good luck Applebloom.
Stallion; *Sees Applebloom in the car, turns around, and chases it*
Song: link
Brown Stallion: *Sees the orange car get closer to him, and floors it*
Stallion: *Follows the brown stallion's car*
Applebloom: *Looks at the orange car*
Stallion: *Lightly taps the back of the car Applebloom is in*
Brown Stallion: *Turns left*
Stallion: *Gets to the right side of the car Applebloom is in, and pushes it to the left*
Brown Stallion: *Nearly hits a dark green Cadillac, then turns right*
Stallion: *Hits a fire hydrant*
Brown Stallion: *Passes an intersection that has a red light*
Stallion: *About to cross the intersection, but gets hit on the right from a big rig hauling a flatbed. He then crashes into a black car that looks just like his*
Applebloom knew she was safe now. She decided to go tell Rainbow Dash about the horrible news.
Stop the song
Applebloom: *Hops out of the car as it passes Rainbow Dash's cloudhouse* Rainbow Dash?! *Stands on top of an Oldsmobile* Rainbow Dash, I need your help!!
Rainbow Dash: *Comes out of her cloud house, and lands in front of Applebloom* What's the problem? *Sees a purple car stop behind Applebloom* (Who's car could this be?)
Stallions: *Get out of the car, and walk toward Applebloom* You there! We want to have a word with you!
Applebloom: Leave me alone!! *Running away*
Stallions: *Chasing Applebloom. They grab her, punch her, and drag her toward the car*
Applebloom: This is a mad house!! A maad hooouse!!! *Gets placed in the trunk of the car*
Stallions: *Drive away*
Rainbow Dash decided to tell Princess Celestia about the horror that she just saw. She flew back into her cloudhouse, and made a call to the princess.
Rainbow Dash: *Holding onto the phone* Please pick up.
Celestia: *Answers the call* Hello?
Rainbow Dash: Princess? This is Rainbow Dash-
Celestia: *Pleased* Dashie! What's happening my friend?
Rainbow Dash: Nothing good. You see-
Celestia: Have I ever introduced you to my friend Tirek? We're coming down to Pornstarville to visit you, your friends, and see a new film called Where Eagles Dare. Care to join us?
Rainbow Dash: Okay.
Celestia: Good. *Hangs up*
6 hours later
Rainbow Dash: *With Princess Celestia, and Tirek* It's great to see you two, but I have something important to tell you. Applebloom, and her friends are in trouble.
Celestia: Oh don't worry about them Rainbow Dash. Those three can get away with anything.
Tirek: Princess. The movie?
Celestia: Oh yes. We must get going Rainbow Dash. Can you go with us?
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry Celestia, but I have other things to do. Pinkie Pie, and Twilight want me to help them expand the library.
Celestia: Oh well. Perhaps another time. *Walks away with Tirek*
At the movie theater, Celestia, and Tirek were waiting for their popcorn.
Tirek: The movie starts in seven minutes. We have plenty of time.
Celestia: Okay. You know Tirek, I want to tell you something-
Movie Pony: Miss Celestia, do you want butter on your popcorn?
Celestia: Ugh, James! Please don't interrupt me while I'm talking!
Movie Pony: Fine, I'll just give you the kernels! *Muttering to himself*
Tirek: You were saying Celestia?
Celestia: So, if anything bad were to happen to me, god forbid, you can take my place as princess of Pontiac.
Tirek: You mean, be the prince of Pontiac? Do you really mean that? It's a huge responsibility.
Celestia: Yes, I do mean it. You're a good guy, and I know you'll take good care of everyone.
Tirek: Thank you Celestia. You don't know how much this means to me. By the way, I have a really awesome boat that I want to take a ride on with you, after the movie.
Celestia: I'd be delighted.
After the movie, Celestia, and Tirek went to the harbor to ride on Tirek's boat. It was dark by the time they arrived.
Tirek: Are you ready for the ride?
Celestia: Yes I am, and might I add, this is a very nice boat you have.
They both got on board, and the boat left the harbor. They didn't go far though, because the boat started to sink. Tirek, and the driver of the boat swam to the harbor, but unfortunately, Celestia drowned.
Song (Start it at 1:31:52): link
Celestia's funeral was held in Pontiac. Everyone from all over America came to the funeral, including the mane 6. Many ponies had some things to say, including how much they loved Celestia, and how they were going to miss her. Everyone felt remorse, and sadness, and some had tears coming out of their eyes. Princess Celestia was a wonderful princess, and would be missed by everyone.
The day after Celestia's funeral, Tirek arrived at the town's courthouse.
Court Pony: Good morning Tirek. I have the papers for you. *Hands Tirek several papers stapled together. The first page says how to rule Equestria nicely*
Tirek: Thank you sir. *Leaves the courthouse, while looking at the papers*
Song: link
Five months, and eight days later, it was new years day, 1969. Since Tirek has been the new prince of Pontiac, things did not go well. Unlike Celestia, Tirek was very mean. He made frequent visits to Pornstarville, and was disgusted with the population of mares. Slowly, stallions have been taking over their place.
One day, Rarity parked her car in front of Carousel Boutique, and was listening to this song on her I pad: link
Rarity: *Walks into her boutique turning the volume up higher, and sees Tirek*
Tirek: Come here Rarity. We need to talk.
Rarity: *Comes closer to Tirek*
Tirek: I'm not happy with you Rarity. Do you know why?
Rarity: Is it because I'm listening to a genre of music that hasn't been created yet on a piece of technology that also has not been created yet?
Tirek: You were fifteen minutes late yesterday when delivering your dresses to Neigh York City. Explain yourself.
Rarity: With all due respect, it was the police at the entrance of the Holland Tunnel. They wouldn't let me pass, even though I had fifty cents, for the toll.
Tirek: Now Rarity, I know you're not a bad pony. You know what happens to bad ponies here. Right?
Rarity: *Looks out her window*
Roseluck: *Gets executed by an orange stallion*
Tirek: I shall see you later. *Leaves the boutique* And get rid of the music, and whatever it is it's coming out of!
Later that night, when Rarity was sleeping, three stallions walked in. They took Rarity away from her home.
Next morning, Tirek ordered Rainbow Dash to pull five wagons full of fruit from Sweet Apple Acres to the school.
Rainbow Dash: *In her usual cheerful state, walking to the wagons*
Stallions: *Staring at Rainbow Dash* That's too heavy for you. I don't know why Tirek assigned you to pull those wagons.
Rainbow Dash: These aren't too heavy for me. *Gets herself hitched up*
Applejack: *Comes out with Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith* Taking the fruit to the school Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Yes.
Stallion: She's not going to make it.
Big Macintosh: Don't doubt it. There's one way she does it.
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: *Slowly pulls the wagons* I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. *Gaining speed* I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Stallion: Wait a minute, didn't this already happen in one episode?
Applejack: Yeah.
After that ended, Rainbow Dash left the fruit at the school, and was pulling more wagons to town hall, when she saw Pinkie Pie with Twilight, and Derpy at Rarity's boutique.
Rainbow Dash: What's going on?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, it's terrible!! Zhey kidnapped Rarity!
Tirek: *Arrives* Pinkie, are you crazy holding unauthorized meetings behind my back?! Just look at Rainbow Dash's wagons! Any second, there could be a huge accident!
Stallions: *Crash into Rainbow Dash's wagons*
Tirek: That's it Pinkie, you'll be hearing from me later.
That night in Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was making more cupcakes when the stallion with the orange car stopped in front of the store.
Stallion: *Walks into Sugarcube Corner*
Pinkie Pie: You are one of zhe stallions vorking for Tirek! Vhat are you doing here?!
Stallion: To take you out you German! *Knocks out Pinkie Pie, and takes her away*
Next morning, Tirek forced everyone in Pornstarville to meet with him in Sugarcube Corner.
Tirek: Okay everyone. Have you noticed a missing pony?
Rainbow Dash: You took Pinkie Pie away? How could you?!
Tirek: That's right, I did take her away. The rest of you are now on probation!
For Rainbow Dash, this was the last straw, she decided to go on a rescue mission to save her best friend. That night, she got the keys to her brand new Dodge Charger, and with another song from the future, she started her search.
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: *Starts her car, and drives it*
Vinyl Scratch: *Walking down the street, and sees Rainbow Dash*
Rainbow Dash: *Looking in buildings, hoping to find Pinkie Pie. She turns right at an intersection, and continues looking for Pinkie Pie*
Rainbow Dash looked all over Pornstarville, but couldn't find Pinkie Pie anywhere. She drove into Pontiac, and looked for her there. Alas, there was no sign of her friend. Rainbow Dash was just about to give up her search when suddenly...
Rainbow Dash: *Sees an orange car* Uh oh. That's one of Tirek's ponies. *Turns right, and turns off the music* I hope he didn't see me.
Stallion: *Keeps going straight*
Rainbow Dash: Phew, that was close. *Hears tapping on her window, and sees Pinkie Pie. She lowers the window*
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, I'm so glad I found you.
Rainbow Dash: I'm so glad you found me too. Now hop in. I have to get you out of here.
And with Pinkie Pie at her side, Rainbow Dash left Pontiac.
Pinkie Pie: Do you zhink anyone is following us?
Rainbow Dash: I hope not. Keep an eye out for anyone that you think is working for Tirek.
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl Regenbogen Strich.
Rainbow Dash: As much as I'm glad I saved you, please speak English.
Pinkie Pie: Okay. *Sees an orange car behind her* Remember seeing an orange Chevrolet Nova?
Rainbow Dash: What? *Looks behind her* Oh no, that's one of Tirek's ponies! *Floors it*
Stallion: *Follows Rainbow Dash*
Pinkie Pie: Zhere's not much he can do.
Stallion: *Opens a window on his car, and grabs a revolver*
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I take it back!
Stallion: *Shoots the back window on Rainbow Dash's car twice*
Pinkie Pie: Did you bring any veapons?
Rainbow Dash: No.
Pinkie Pie: Was zum Teufel?! How could you forget?!
Rainbow Dash: I didn't forget. *Hears a bullet hit her car's door* I didn't think I'd need one.
Pinkie Pie: Vell zhis is vhere you're proven wrong my friend. If I vas rescuing you, I'd bring several guns!
Tirek: *Blocks the road with a Jeep*
Rainbow Dash: That's not good! *Swerves, and drives off the road*
The car crashed through the roof of a building.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh... *Massaging her forehead* Are you okay Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Ja, but I'm still cross at you for not bringing any veapons!
Rainbow Dash: *Gets out of the car with Pinkie Pie* I think we lost those guys.
Stallion: Oh no you didn't. *Points the gun at Rainbow Dash* Now, both of you are coming out with us.
Tirek: *Arrives* Naughty naughty mares. You shouldn't have tried to escape. Stallions are better.
Rainbow Dash: Is this what all of the fighting is about? Because we're mares?
Pinkie Pie: Sounds stupid if you ask me.
Tirek: SHUT UP! Stallions are superior!
Stallion: Now just come with us.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. *Walks with Pinkie Pie toward Tirek, and the stallion, but they accidentally step on a high speed model train*
Tirek: Wait. Where are we?
Stallion: *Looks around him, and sees lots of model trains* We're at a model train shop.
Tirek: Get on that train, and stop them. I'm going to wait for you further up the line.
Stallion: *Gets on the train as the last car passes him*
Song: link
Rainbow Dash: We're going to escape!
Pinkie Pie: Jawohl.
Stallion: *Walks up to Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash, pointing the gun at them* Not if I have anything to say about it.
Rainbow Dash: *Hits the stallion, and watches him land on the front of another model train*
Pinkie Pie: Good one.
Tirek: *Angry. He tries to grab the two mares, but accidentally pushes them onto the other train* Oh great.
Rainbow Dash: Now he's up front.
Stallion: What? *Turns around, and sees Rainbow Dash with Pinkie Pie. He fires one bullet from his gun, but he hits the radio, and changes the music*
Song: link
Stallion: *Fires another bullet from his gun, and shoots the coupling between the train, and the car that Pinkie Pie is on, just as soon as they pass a switch. The train goes straight, and Pinkie's car goes to the right*
Pinkie Pie: *Leaning forward, making her car go faster then the train* Don't worry Dashie, everyzhing is under control. *Takes the gun from the stallion* I'll have zhat if you don't mind, eh? *Looks in front of her, and sees a window in the wall* Whoa!!!
The car she was on hit a set of buffers, and she flew through the window.
Rainbow Dash: *Slowly moves up toward the front of the train*
Pinkie Pie: *On a luggage trolley next to the train, holding a net* Tally ho! Leave it to me Dashie. I'll catch zhat pony. *Raises the net, but it gets caught on a moose head, and she falls on the back of the train* Aaaahhhh!!!
Rainbow Dash: *Sees the stallion uncouple the locomotive from the train, and tries to catch him*
Pinkie Pie: Get him Dashie!
Stallion: *Going faster, he hits the button for a switch track, making him go forward while the two mares go right*
Pinkie Pie: *Sees the end of the line* Dashie, ve're doomed!
Rainbow Dash: *Sees a box full of train tracks, and grabs it. She quickly lays down more track to make the train turn around, and follow the stallion on the locomotive*
Pinkie Pie: Mind zhe table!!
Rainbow Dash: *Puts down track to make the train go quickly to the right, then to the left*
Pinkie Pie: *Frightened* AAAAHHHHHH!!!
Stallion: *Looks at the straight track in front of him, thinking he will get away*
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track, letting her train cross the track that the stallion is travelling on*
Pinkie Pie: Gotcha! *Grabs the locomotive* Was ist das?
Stallion: *On the tender of the locomotive. He sees the two mares catching up to them*
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track, having them next to the stallion*
Pinkie Pie: All yours Dashie!
The stallion was reaching the end of the line, and suddenly, the tender he was on hit the buffers, and he was airborne.
Rainbow Dash: *Laying down track having her train stay below the stallion*
Eventually, the train crashed into a drawer, and Rainbow Dash was on the ground.
Stallion: *Falling towards Rainbow Dash*
Rainbow Dash: *Grabs a glass bottle, and has the stallion land in that. His body gets stuck in it, and his head sticks out*
Pinkie Pie: *Rolls over to Rainbow Dash from the end of the train* Wunderbar! We did it. Now we must report to zhe authorities about Tirek doing a lousy job!
But they had no need to do that. Someone already beat them to it.
Rainbow Dash: *Walks out of the model train shop with Pinkie Pie, and sees Twilight Sparkle* Twilight?
Twilight: Yeah man. Who else were you expectin'?! Mothafuckin' Malcolm X?
Pinkie Pie: So much for making a fan fiction vithout swearing.
Rainbow Dash: There already was swearing. Remember the intro?
Pinkie Pie: Shit, I forgot about zhat!
Twilight: Anyway man, I should have taken Princess Celestia's spot! Or Luna! Why did she let fuckin' Tirek take her place man?!
Tirek: Because we were close friends. *Gets pushed into a police car* I'll break out of jail one day, and I'll get back at you! ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Twilight: Nigga, I don't think so!
Rainbow Dash: Why not?
Twilight: Because this fan fiction was suppose to focus on me, but it didn't! So I'm puttin' an end to it!!
Pinkie Pie: You can't just do zhat. It's unfair to-
The End
Applejack: Thank's for watching everyone.
Kevin: We'll be back next week with episodes from On The Block.
