These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s because Ginny was poor.

Star Wars ending: Voldemort reveals himself to in fact be Harry’s father.

CSI: Miami ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione collect evidence linking Voldemort to the murder of Albus Dumbledore. When confronted, Voldemort challenges Harry to prove he did it; Harry puts on his sunglasses, holding up a single strand of Voldemort’s hair, responds, “I don’t have to, you already did.”

24 ending: It is revealed that Voldemort was really just working for the French, and Madame Maxime was really behind the entire plot to destroy the wizarding world. At the last second, Harry is able to diffuse the device Maxime had planted that would neutralize all wizard’s power in all of England. Just as they begin to celebrate, Harry is captured by the Chinese and when we last see him, he is on a boat to China.

Brokeback Mountain ending: After wishing he could “quit him,” Harry finally finds out that Draco was beaten to death with wands by a group of angry Deatheaters. The book closes with Harry gazing longingly into his trunk, in which he has Draco’s Slytherin robe wrapped around his own Invisibility Cloak. Harry mumbles, “I swear, Draco.” and sheds a single tear.

Lord of the Rings ending: Harry and Ron finally destroy the final horcrux by throwing it into a bubbling lave pit deep beneath Hogwarts, killing Lord Voldemort in the process, but at the same time weakening the foundations of Hogwarts, trapping Harry and Ron miles beneath the surface. where they gaze into each others eyes, too afraid to talk of the love that dare not speak it’s name. Just as they pass out, Fawkes rescues them and they both live out their lives married to their respective spouses

A Few Good Men ending: In the process of defeating Lord Voldemort, Ron and Hermione accidentally kill Draco. They are brought to trial before the Wizengamut, and Harry must act as their lawyer. Harry believes that Ron and Hermione were only following orders from Percy, and so he calls Percy to the stand. After a few hours of intense questioning, Harry finally tricks Percy into admitting he ordered the attack on Malfoy. As he is led off to Azkaban, Percy remarks, “All you did was weaken the wizarding world today, Potter. That’s all you did.”

Back to the Future ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione defeat Voldemort by traveling back through time to 1955. While there, they befriend a young, and not yet evil, Tom Riddle. By showing him love and friendship, Tom grows up to be a swell guy, in fact, he’s Dumbledore’s personal assistant. Just as we think things are going to be OK, Mad Eye Moody shows up, grabs Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny and herds them to his nuclear powered broom time machine. When Harry asks what is wrong with them in future, Moody replies, “You turn out fine…it’s your kids!”

Sweeney Todd Ending: After defeating Voldemort, Ginny is threatened by Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Harry yells "not my girlfriend, you bitches!" and kills them both with a slashing spell. Suddenly the candles in Hogwarts are re-lit and Harry reccognises the faces of the couple he had just kill. Harry is then told by Ginny that his parents never actually died, and that she knew all along. Harry's parents were infact Bellatrix Lestrange and Rodolphus, and were driven insane by a potion-experiment-gone-wrong. Ginny confesses her love for him, and says that he wouldn't have loved her back if he still knew his parents were alive. Harry wouldn't have had to stay at the burrow during the summer holidays, and Ginny would never see him. Harry tells her that he understands, with a crazed look in his eyes. He begins to waltz with her in the Great Hall, dancing on top of all the dead bodies. Slowly, he waltzes her closer to the boiling cauldron of deadly potions. Harry quickly shoves Ginny into the cauldron and watches her burn to death. Meanwhile, Ron Weasley sneaks up behind Harry. Harry is depressed and desides he has no more reason to live. He walks over to his dead parents, and Ron briskly fires an "Avada Kedavra" from behind. Harry dies holding his dead parents, and all his memories seep out of him (like Snape did earlier) for the world to see. Fade to black.

The Princess Bride ending: “And that, children, is the story of the battle of Hogwarts,” said the pale old storyteller as he closed a massive, well-worn book.

“Professor,” said a young red-haired girl, “is that a true story?”

“Of course it is sweetie, of course it is.”

“How do you know?”

“I was there,” the old man said, and the young girl’s eyes widened with excitement. “For I am Lord Voldemort.”

Twilight ending: Voldemort lures Ginny to the Ballet School she went to when she was small. There, he uses the Cruciatus Curse on her. Harry comes in and they have an epic duel among all the mirrors.

Ginny ends up fine, but with a few broken bones.

Harry Potter ending: It’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. ‘Nuff said.