The last solstice

Chapter 24: Trust


That’s it! You have to do this! Nocturnal Mirage thought to himself.

Three days have passed since the unfortunate stargazing and during that time, Celestia remained unreachable. The royal blue stallion spent countless hours at her door, trying to get in touch with her again, and despite his reassuring and convincing words, nothing seemed to work. Remorse overwhelmed his soul like an icy flood and fear started to build up in his mind as he kept thinking about the consequences of his failure. He tried his best to correct the mistake he made, but to no avail. Mirage realized in shock, that the Princess did not eat anything since that night. Several trays with the finest quality food were piling up in front of her door, remaining untouched and Celestia did not show any sign of life. Dead silence ruled the Ivory Tower but it was more frightening than any drum of war. This was the sound of the impending disaster. The cataclysm that will bring the end and Equestria, along with ponykind will be forever lost in the sands of time.

Luna has to know. At least it’ll give her a chance to prepare herself… the cobalt earth pony thought.

On the third day, the Sun shone brightly, like if there was nothing wrong. The fiery orb bathed everything in joyful lightness and ponies of all kinds were out on the busy streets, minding their own business, unaware of the approaching catastrophe. Mirage idled in front of the window, letting his eyes feast on the equestrian landscape and the bustling life below him.

Why me? the stallion questioned himself. Of all the ponies, why do I have to face such dark times?

He summoned upon all his courage and took one final glance at the city. A concerned sigh escaped his chest as he exited his room and trotted toward the stairway. Every cell in his body protested vehemently against the deed he must do, but even though the conversation with Luna will be the most difficult thing he ever had to do, there was no other way. The Princess of the Night must know the bad news. Mirage stopped at the first step of the long spiral staircase which led down from the Tower and gazed into nothingness. At the end of the way, there’s the ruler of Equestria and he has the sorrowful duty to tell her that her kingdom is doomed.

“Because of me!” the cobalt stallion called out loudly.

Helpless fury began to overwhelm his soul and a grimace of anger distorted his features. He now understood what Luna must feel like all the time. The only one who could stop the disaster is so close, just behind this door and yet she’s so unreachable and distant. Mirage stomped his front hoof on the marble floor and his entire body was trembling in the shockwaves of rage. A sparkly teardrop appeared at the corner of his eye and ran down his cheek like a shining stream. He stood there, unable to bring himself to take the first step down the staircase when he heard a quiet noise behind him. He quickly turned around, only to face the empty air. The royal blue stallion let out another heavy sigh and wanted to continue his way downstairs, but he noticed Celestia’s door was open. It was only a small gap, but Mirage spotted the alicorn’s shadow. He quickly wiped out the tears on his face and ran to the door.

“Princess?”

The sun goddess took a step back and the wooden door was closing again slowly.

“Princess, don’t!” Mirage cried desperately, but the gap became narrower and narrower.

“No! Don’t close the door!”

Celestia’s shadow disappeared and the lock clicked to its place before Mirage could reach for the knob.

“Princess, please! You have to listen to me!” the stallion begged several times, smashing his hooves against the wooden door.

Mirage felt like his being was torn apart. He braced himself for the worst but when he spotted the shadow of the solar alicorn in the doorway, hope flared up once again. The repeated realization crashed his heart: the Princess is lost, and that means everything is lost. He leaned his forehead against the door with closed eyes, as sorrow began to strangle him from within.

“I’m sorry, Celestia… I didn’t want to cause you more pain.” the dark blue earth pony whispered.

He once again prepared himself for the sad conversation with Luna. It took more time than before; he felt so miserable. His soul was slowly sinking into the swamp of remorse and sorrow.

“Goodbye, my Princess!” Mirage said quietly and touched the surface of the door once more.

He picked up his head with a rapid move for the sudden noise. The gateway opened right in front of him and Celestia stood there at the other side. The large circles under her eyes showed she didn’t have any rest for days, her body was skinnier than before, her bones were clearly sticking out. Her wings were folded in, but fluttered every once in a while, her mane and tail floated very slowly in the colors of pale blue and grey, shielding the right side of her face. As he looked deeply into her eyes, Mirage saw the same sorrow which was overwhelming his own being. They idled like this for several minutes, until the sun goddess turned around and walked inside with slow, placid steps. The cobalt stallion hesitated a little, but since the door remained open, he stepped inside. It felt like the first time he entered the sanctuary of the solar Princess. She led him to the library room and offered a seat at the plushy sofa. Still in silence, she disappeared in the other room and came back with a green bottle and two dainty goblets. Without saying a word, Celestia poured crimson red wine from the finest quality into the glasses and handed one over to the perplexed earth pony.

“Princess, what is…?”

“Ssshhh…. Don’t speak! I have something to tell you first.” Celestia whispered softly. “I have thought about this long and hard… we cannot go on like this anymore.”

Mirage craned his neck as an initial sign of protest, but the white alicorn raised her hoof.

“I felt that you and I have become close in the past few weeks…” Celestia said, seemingly searching for the right words. “Yet, there is something you do not know. If you knew, you wouldn’t be here… But, you’ve been honest with me the entire time; it is only fair if I’ll be honest with you, even though I know it will destroy our relationship.”

The stallion nodded and stooped, hanging on the Princess’s words.

“You want to know what made these, yes?” the snow white alicorn asked gently.

She combed back her billowing mane with a lady-like motion, revealing her scarred face. She turned her head in a way so Mirage could lay eyes upon the full extents of her old wounds. The purple eyes of the sun goddess twitched a little, she was clearly struggling with her own self to show the damage of her body like that.

“Yes.” Mirage admitted and looked away.

“So be it.” Celestia nodded, letting her mane down again to cover the scar. “I have never told anypony about this, except for my sister. But I warn you: the truth will not be pleasant. Once you hear it, you’ll finally see me the way I see myself… my true self: …a monster.