Gordon was bored, so he decided to check out what the Union Pacific looked like.
Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*
After three minutes of running
Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right by the road. *walks to fence* Really? Why did they put these up?
Security Guard: HEY!! What are you doing by that fence?
Gordon: Watching the trains?
Security Guard: Ok. You're not allowed to pass this fence at anytime.
Gordon: Alright. May I ask why this fence was put up?
Security Guard: To prevent intruders from sneaking in, and vandalising those freight cars.
Gordon: *spots graffiti* You mean that purple, and green stuff on the box car? What railroad is it for anyway?
Security Guard: Norfoalk Southern.
Gordon: Norfoalk Southern? Don't you mean Norfoalk & Western?
Security Guard: Nope. The Norfoalk & Western merged with another railroad in 1982.
Gordon: (That's 31 years from where I am now.) Wow. Yeah... I'm not much of an expert on railroading like you. *walks away*
After that, Gordon was thinking on how to get inside
Gordon: *stops* What the fuck am I thinking?! I've got teleportation spells! *teleports into train yard* Now, to see what this yard looks like.
Working ponies: *remove door from diesel*
Boss: Excellent. Now just put a new coat of paint on there, and our Heritage units will be as good as new.
Gordon: Heritage units? *walks to diesel* This thing is a wreck. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!!?
Workers: *walk out* That engine is used for spare parts on our diesels.
Gordon: WHAT?! Can't you buy more parts?! Ok, this year is fucked up, except for the creation of the smartphone, that's cool.
Black worker: Dude, what's up with this nigga?
Gordon: (Nigga? Sounds cool, I gotta try that.) Bye *time travels*
June 10, 1951
Pete: Ah, Gordon you're back. Just in time too. You'll have a freight to take to Pocatello Idaho in 20 minutes.
Gordon: Thank you sir. *walks to bench*
Bartholomew: *waiting on platforrn*
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do you know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have you lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave you in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
The End
The Season 2 premiere of Ponies On The Rails will arrive in October.
Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*
After three minutes of running
Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right by the road. *walks to fence* Really? Why did they put these up?
Security Guard: HEY!! What are you doing by that fence?
Gordon: Watching the trains?
Security Guard: Ok. You're not allowed to pass this fence at anytime.
Gordon: Alright. May I ask why this fence was put up?
Security Guard: To prevent intruders from sneaking in, and vandalising those freight cars.
Gordon: *spots graffiti* You mean that purple, and green stuff on the box car? What railroad is it for anyway?
Security Guard: Norfoalk Southern.
Gordon: Norfoalk Southern? Don't you mean Norfoalk & Western?
Security Guard: Nope. The Norfoalk & Western merged with another railroad in 1982.
Gordon: (That's 31 years from where I am now.) Wow. Yeah... I'm not much of an expert on railroading like you. *walks away*
After that, Gordon was thinking on how to get inside
Gordon: *stops* What the fuck am I thinking?! I've got teleportation spells! *teleports into train yard* Now, to see what this yard looks like.
Working ponies: *remove door from diesel*
Boss: Excellent. Now just put a new coat of paint on there, and our Heritage units will be as good as new.
Gordon: Heritage units? *walks to diesel* This thing is a wreck. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!!?
Workers: *walk out* That engine is used for spare parts on our diesels.
Gordon: WHAT?! Can't you buy more parts?! Ok, this year is fucked up, except for the creation of the smartphone, that's cool.
Black worker: Dude, what's up with this nigga?
Gordon: (Nigga? Sounds cool, I gotta try that.) Bye *time travels*
June 10, 1951
Pete: Ah, Gordon you're back. Just in time too. You'll have a freight to take to Pocatello Idaho in 20 minutes.
Gordon: Thank you sir. *walks to bench*
Bartholomew: *waiting on platforrn*
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do you know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have you lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave you in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
The End
The Season 2 premiere of Ponies On The Rails will arrive in October.
The diesel Gordon found
