My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Club
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(also keep in mind that this story has a link page if you want to track the story more easily. I'll more often than not post rough drafts of chapters here first, so steadily improved versions will be available there.)

<<link

Starlight Glimmer found a staff, today.

In all honesty, it wasn't really a staff. It was just a random stick she found in the desert she now called home, but it at least looked like a staff. Thinking of the uses of such an item, including the possibilities of enchantments, Starlight stowed the staff away for further examination. Finding nothing more interesting in the bare expanse of the desert, she returned to what was to be her new home.

After about a week of hard work, Starlight Glimmer managed to build a respectable house. That is, she contracted a few hapless ponies into building one for her. It was a lone house in the middle of scenic nowhere, but it will most certainly suit her needs. She even threw in a small magical garden to keep herself fed. It was offered to her based on where she was staying, and she would have been insane to say no. That is, more insane than she probably was at that point.

A burly brown pony with a grey mane was the first to speak. "Sorry, what was that? Get rid of our cutie marks? Why the flank would we want to do that?" He looked to his own cutie mark, an image of a jackhammer cracking into the ground. He then moved closer to look at Starlight's own cutie mark. "How do we even know it's possible? You still have your cutie mark."

Starlight couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of course she still had her cutie mark, she couldn't perform the oh-so-needed spell without it. If anything, she would have gladly gotten rid of it if any prior attempts had succeeded. "Trust me. If I could, I would gladly be rid of this cutie mark, but-"

"But nothing. If you can't even remove your own cutie mark, then no deal. I'm fine with my destiny, thank you very much." The construction pony crossed his hooves in stubborn indignation.

Resisting the urge to facehoof, Starlight had enough. "Fine, be that way. You all can go, then. I didn't need any of you, anyway." With that, the construction ponies left. At least, not without Starlight wiping their immediate memories. Working in that secret organization had taught her a few required and necessary memory spells, which she gladly used on the ignorant construction ponies. After all, she couldn't have anyone finding her location, yet. Oh well, Starlight thought. At least she had a home, now; as far away from that retched facility as possible, no less.

Still, the worker had a point. What good was her cause if she couldn't even be rid of her own destiny? Perhaps her entire cause was a farce she tricked herself into believing? In a fit of brief rage, Starlight threw her saddlebag to the ground in front of her new house. Her entire life led up to this? A few hapless ponies breaking her? A new life that grew absolutely no fruit?

A clatter of wood caused her ears to perk up. Turning her head to the sound, she saw a stick. The very stick that she picked up from the desert earlier that day.

"No," she corrected herself audibly. "This isn't just a piece of wood." Picking the stick up in her magic, Starlight turned and twisted the staff around to further examine it. A smile encroached itself upon her face, which then grew into a sneer, and then a maniacal grin. From the back of her mind, she recalled a particular piece of history she learned back in magic school. A very specific individual that was famous for one fact.

"I do believe I have found one of the Powerful Mage Meadowbrook's '9' enchanted items." With a dark chuckle, Starlight rubbed her hooves together in anticipation.

link>>
posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the pizza parlor.

Waiter: Jim, you got a call.
Jim: Okay. *Walks to phone, and picks it up* Hello?
Sam: It's Sam. Those Mexicans are dead. They crashed, and kill their selves.
Jim: Dammit. Next time we get attacked by these illegal immigrants, try to find out who their leader is.
Sam: Yes sir. *Hangs up, then goes to Case Cracker* Okay, Jim said next time we get attacked by those immigrants, we need to find out who their leader is. Let's go see how Gordon's doing.
Case Cracker: Okay. He should be at the hospital by now. *Drives to the hospital*
Sam: *Thinking* I have a hunch that I might know...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con returned to Canterlot for the breifing of his new assignment.

Con: *Waiting by P's office*
Miss Moneybit: He'll see you now.
Con: He won't be seeing me soon. Pinkie Pie might return and take P's spot.
Miss Moneybit: I wouldn't mind that.
Con: *Goes into P's office*
P: Good to see you're still alive 0007. What do you know about alicorns?
Con: They are either unicorns with wings, of pegasi with horns. Unfortunately, most ponies do not like their kind, because they believe that they're overpowered.
P: That is precisely what you're up against. An alicorn by the name of Ice Cube has created her...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Case Cracker's car
Case Cracker's car
Blazin' Blue, Saten Twist, Ryan, Night Frizz, and NocturnalMirage got away from Master Sword, and Sean. Just as soon as they got out of Baltimare, they saw a car towing an open trailer with gascans, and ponies standing by them. The car towing this trailer was driven by Case Cracker.

Ryan: What kind of a car is that?
Mirage: I don't know mate. It looks Italian though, that's all I can tell you.
Saten Twist: *Looks inside car* Son of a bitch, he has a walkie talkie.
Case Cracker: Yo, what's up guys?
Blazin' Blue: Not much. How are you?
Case Cracker: Good. Where you headin?
Ryan: Fillydelphia.
Case...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
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Source: EQD, joyreactor
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joycreator
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Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joycreator
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Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, google
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Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
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Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by whiteclaw
Source: MLB