Ninja Pirates Articles | Original Articles on Fanpop

8

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

In Twilight, this guy I know
The palest skin you ever saw
All the girls still want him, though
And now you know
I wanna be like Edward Cullen
I wanna be like Edward Cullen
Wish I could be like Edward Cullen

Wish I could be Cul-len
Wish I could get all the girls, yo
Didn't have to breathe
Didn't have to eat food
And of course I want to read everybody's thoughts
I wanna sparkle in the light and drive a Volvo
And honestly I wanna play the piano
Although it would suck to never turn 18
Cause I know pedophiles will try to rape me
I wanna say that Dracula is my homie
Be a vegetarian even though I...

9

Sick Blonde Jokes

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.

She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.

He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".

"I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she said...

4

Fuzzy Language

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS
TO THE QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL...

5

Yo Momma Jokes

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Your mother's so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Your mother's so fat, when they used her...

4

Annoy The Office

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Some great ways to annoy people at work...

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3. Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or elvis-the-king@companyname.com.

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN.'

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8. Put decaf in the coffee...

3

Your Fly Is Open

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

20 ways to say that someone's "fly is open"....

20. The cucumber has left the salad.

19. I can see the gun of Navarone.

18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17. You've got Windows in your laptop.

16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9. Mini Me is...

5

Age Bell Curve

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful...

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals.

At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.

5

Pet Truths

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Some self-evident truths about pets...

Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff.

Dogs shed, cats shred.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation...

5

Good Girl, Bad Girl

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.

4

Most Embarrassing

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

The following are the top four winners from a "Most Embarrassing Moments" contest:

1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other adults. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now,'
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this...

9

29 Annoying Ways to Order Pizza

posted by mollyx365

Because we all love pizza so what`s more fun than being annoying while ordering it?

29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are...

4

Hangover Ratings

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 star hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 star hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to...

13

Shamone || FOTM interview with Cat {Who's Bad}

posted by ritergrl

1. YOU WON! How do you feel?
I did! =D
I feel amazing and SO happy that people think I deserve this for some reason. =’] <3

Honestly, it’s all your fault guys. I would never have anyone to talk to/make picks about if it wasn’t for all the Pinjas overall awesomeness.

2. What would you say the secret to your Pinja success is?
Oh well. Since you asked so nicely, I will tell everybody the key to my success. xD

The truth is that I hire stalkers and make them bitch about us when I’m around. Then I’m always present when the drama happens. =P
.....
Nahh, there’s really no secret....

12

Random (south park mexican) song! Pinja theme song? ;)

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

Stay on your grind (oh I know I know I you know)
Stay on your grind (my people)
Stay on your grind (everybody)
Stay on your grind (and can you feel me yeah)

[Verse 1]
Hustlas
Dont give a fuckstas
And we smoke like broke down mufflas
Paint pictures
Write scriptures
At the beach
30 deep riding ninjas
Smoke a owl I cant go without it
Me and my crew we always joke about it
In the back of the tour bus
With a gorgeous
Little ho just fucking all four of us
The game Lord its the drugs and fast hoes
Hotels with the beds with brass poles
Sip gallons
Cant keep my balance
I'ma have to shine like the boy Ritchie Valens
Iced...

6

Murphy's Other Fifteen Laws

posted by isabelle_905

From an email.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up...

14

WOW...Lovely interview with AMAZING Tool aka my daughter!

posted by Georgia93

OMG. What could be better than interviewing Obama? That’s right, people. Interviewing Tool. She’s much more interesting after all..like DUH! HAHAHA Congrats baby. It was about freaking time you won. Anyway..I’ll cut the crap and start with the questions.
PS: If this interview doesn’t get at LEAST 10 comments, you all will be burned.

1How do you feel that you finally won?
How I feel? I feel MegaSuperFantasticAwesomeAndsofuckingCOOL!

2.Do you think the Pinjas will ever be like they were? Like..not dead?

Well, lately it has been dead, BUT thats because people are so busy, which is totally...

4

Period Euphemisms

posted by Bdavisbrookeme

AH!

Sometimes a more discreet euphemism for "being on your period" is preferable, such as...

Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara

Trolling for Vampires

A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy

Saddling Old Rusty

Feelin' Menstru-riffic!

Clean-Up in Aisle One

Massacre at the Y

T-Minus 9 Months and Holding

Game Day for the Crimson Tide

Panty Shields Up, Captain!

Taking Carrie to the Prom

Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band

Ordering l'Omelette Rouge

Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp

Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Aunt Flow is visiting

17

All hail.

posted by ritergrl

Having known him a mere two months, ever since I met Nate, my life has felt happier. Having attracted countless stalkers in a short period of time, Nate holds the prestigious prize of "Best Newbie ever," aswell as being so fudging pervy that withint 20 minutes of knowing him, I made a bet that he couldn't be a perv for an entire day.

I lost.

Immediately link by the ussually bitchy OTH community, Nate lurked around the OTH chat, eventually starting a revolution. The Pinja spot. The rest is history.

Why so many people get on with him, I'll never know. Maybe because he's one of the few who don't...

4

Pinja FOTM with JANNIIIIIIII <3

posted by mtoll4

So guys, both Janni and me suck, so this is kinda late! Lalalalala! You love us <3

1. CONGRATS! Pinja FOTM, how do you feel?
Ehm.. Happy and honoured.. But to be honest i no longer feel like i deserve it seeing that i have hardly been on in weeks!

2. Why do you think you won?
Cause i am awesome or cause everyone shared a joint just before voting on this pick! xP
I don't know, maybe cause i was on a lot in that perid or something

3. The pinjas hasnt been very active lately, what do YOU think we should do?
To be honest i don't know! I know from experience that games wont help, cause we all think...

13

Being part of something special makes you special, right? {FOTM interview with Terra!}

posted by Cas_Cat_2

YAY, another month another fan of the month interview! This time with Terra. ;D Hope you guys like it. =] And congrats T, you deserve this! <3

-------
1 – Here are the Pinjas, a couples months, cheaters and stalkers later. Did you ever think a random talk in a chat would turn out like this?
No i didn't i had no clue that we would form the pinjas in the oth chat or that would put our oth coupling differences aside and become great friends with each other.

2 – What is your first good memory of the Pinjas? And your favorite moment in this spot?
My favorite one has to be any of the pranks we...