"You know what your useless!!! Get out of here!! I can't stand to look at you anymore!!!", My mother yelled as I ran out the back door of our house, tears streaming down my face. My feet ran as far as they could until, on got caught on a rock and I landed face first into a dirt plot. Slowly I dragged myself to a nearby tree and leaned against it.
"Useless.... How am i useless....", i thought to myself. It all just happened so quickly... The words just spilled out of my mother's mouth.... This is what had happened..
"I'm going to go across the street to help Grandma Ofelia with her groceries.... Watch the kids for me?" My mother asked.
"Sure.." I waled outside and sat on the steps where the kids were playing tag at. I pulled my earphones out and put them in my ears as I read my book like I always did.
"Thanks." My mother ruffled my hair and left across the street.
My mind reeling on how my book was going I didn't even notice as one of the kids climbed the tree my friends and I use to always climb until we figured out it was infested with fire ants... Which my brother and I were allergic to.
5 minutes later my mother came back and smacked me in the head to get my attention since my Ipod's volume was cranked up all the way and I couldn't hear a thing.
I yanked out a headphone,"What was that for!?!" I glared at her.
"Your brother!!! He climbed that god damned tree and got bit by those damn ants!!! He feels out the tree and sprained his ankle!! And now he can't breath!!"
"I.. Bu... Hi..." I was speechless.
"I told you to watch him and the other kids!!!!!", she hollered at me as she ran over to my brother who was now in the car lying on the back seats getting ready to leave for the hospital. My mother gave him a kiss on his forehead and shut the car door as my Aunt Hilary got in the driver's seat and drove out the drive way with such speed.
"Mom! Why aren't you going with them!!" I looked at her as she walked to a lawn chair and sat down gingerly.
She sniffled,"Well... I can't leave you with the girls can I.."
"You... Nevermind!" I yelled grabbing my book and Ipod as I stomped inside making her follow with more rage.
"Well I can't!! If I did you'd probably let one of them get kidnapped and raped for all i know!!!" She yelled at me.
I turned,"I would never let that happen!!!"
"But you let THAT happen to you brother!!!"
My eyes started to blur with tears at the time,"I didn't mean for it to happen!! It was an accident!!"
She snorted,"I bet you let it happen!! You never cared for him!! But he cared for you!! And look where you got him!! IN A HOSPITAL!!!"
I put my book down on the couch i was standing by along with my ipod, "How could you say that..."
And that's it...
I stared up to the clouds, i didn't mean for my brother to get hurt. I love him too much... But my mother doesn't think that. She thinks I hate him.. I don't give a crap about what he does or what happens to him... But i do. I love him with all my heart.
I get on my legs and manage a slow stride farther away from my house... Away from my mother. I walk, until i wonder... Why am i still walking? If I'm so useless then what's the use in doing anything? What's the use... In living?
It starts to dawn on me... If the person who gave me life thinks... I'm useless.... Then why am i still here....
My arms take action with my conscience giving her say in it. One arm lifts my shirt up and over my head and the other grabs the nearest sharpest object it could find... Which was a pen i had in my pocket from signing my name on my books to indicate they were mines.
With all my strength I plunge the pen into the left side of my chest. The pain was fierce. Sharp and piercing I took out the pen and feel to my knees, coughing blood.
My mother thought I was useless.... The person who gave me life..... Now there's no need to regret ever bringing me into this world..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 hours later her mother went out looking for her daughter and found her body cold and still and wept.. Regretting the words that made her daughter kill herself...
"Useless.... How am i useless....", i thought to myself. It all just happened so quickly... The words just spilled out of my mother's mouth.... This is what had happened..
"I'm going to go across the street to help Grandma Ofelia with her groceries.... Watch the kids for me?" My mother asked.
"Sure.." I waled outside and sat on the steps where the kids were playing tag at. I pulled my earphones out and put them in my ears as I read my book like I always did.
"Thanks." My mother ruffled my hair and left across the street.
My mind reeling on how my book was going I didn't even notice as one of the kids climbed the tree my friends and I use to always climb until we figured out it was infested with fire ants... Which my brother and I were allergic to.
5 minutes later my mother came back and smacked me in the head to get my attention since my Ipod's volume was cranked up all the way and I couldn't hear a thing.
I yanked out a headphone,"What was that for!?!" I glared at her.
"Your brother!!! He climbed that god damned tree and got bit by those damn ants!!! He feels out the tree and sprained his ankle!! And now he can't breath!!"
"I.. Bu... Hi..." I was speechless.
"I told you to watch him and the other kids!!!!!", she hollered at me as she ran over to my brother who was now in the car lying on the back seats getting ready to leave for the hospital. My mother gave him a kiss on his forehead and shut the car door as my Aunt Hilary got in the driver's seat and drove out the drive way with such speed.
"Mom! Why aren't you going with them!!" I looked at her as she walked to a lawn chair and sat down gingerly.
She sniffled,"Well... I can't leave you with the girls can I.."
"You... Nevermind!" I yelled grabbing my book and Ipod as I stomped inside making her follow with more rage.
"Well I can't!! If I did you'd probably let one of them get kidnapped and raped for all i know!!!" She yelled at me.
I turned,"I would never let that happen!!!"
"But you let THAT happen to you brother!!!"
My eyes started to blur with tears at the time,"I didn't mean for it to happen!! It was an accident!!"
She snorted,"I bet you let it happen!! You never cared for him!! But he cared for you!! And look where you got him!! IN A HOSPITAL!!!"
I put my book down on the couch i was standing by along with my ipod, "How could you say that..."
And that's it...
I stared up to the clouds, i didn't mean for my brother to get hurt. I love him too much... But my mother doesn't think that. She thinks I hate him.. I don't give a crap about what he does or what happens to him... But i do. I love him with all my heart.
I get on my legs and manage a slow stride farther away from my house... Away from my mother. I walk, until i wonder... Why am i still walking? If I'm so useless then what's the use in doing anything? What's the use... In living?
It starts to dawn on me... If the person who gave me life thinks... I'm useless.... Then why am i still here....
My arms take action with my conscience giving her say in it. One arm lifts my shirt up and over my head and the other grabs the nearest sharpest object it could find... Which was a pen i had in my pocket from signing my name on my books to indicate they were mines.
With all my strength I plunge the pen into the left side of my chest. The pain was fierce. Sharp and piercing I took out the pen and feel to my knees, coughing blood.
My mother thought I was useless.... The person who gave me life..... Now there's no need to regret ever bringing me into this world..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 hours later her mother went out looking for her daughter and found her body cold and still and wept.. Regretting the words that made her daughter kill herself...
