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10

Instructions For Giving Your Cat A Pill :D !!!

posted by wild-bby

1) Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle in left arm an repeat process.

3)Retreive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, craddle in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand . Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger....

2

My Evil Niece Hailey

posted by werewolflover

Yeah,this is the first article I've written,so it probably won't be good.
O.K I have a 7 year old niece and she might not seem evil,but trust me she is.If you met her you'd think she was a sweet,little angel
Her mom,my sis Heather,got married a few years ago.Well the man she married had 2 kids.Ever since she lived with them,she's been evil.
She tells my mom No
She tells us she hates us.She thinks she's the boss.She hits me and then says I hit her first(i'm old enough to know you don't hit when you don't get what you want)She calls me fat.she can't take a joke and then says im fat and don't "play"because I don't like being outside and hate sports.There's more but I don't really want to write anymore.Tell me what you think in comments please:)

10

OMG Hannah Monatana OMG!

posted by ihavOTD

I am Anti- Miley because of this:

OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that you can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can date Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do you realize how crazy and gross a lot of fans are???? Here is a gross article about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached by “Gross”, “Bleeding”...

6

chapter 3 of the awesome book of nothingness!!

posted by funnyshawna

Chapter 2—Canada . . . eh.
Okay, so this is an email to my friend who moved to Canada…eh. Her name is Brenna. Eh. I just thought id include it for your benefit. Eh.

“Lahdiedahdiedahdoodoodahdohetehtakwjeorna!
that is my new favorite song, just so you know. omg ;i wrote more in
my big book of nothingness, but im at school, so i don’t have it with
me:( its cool it deals with begging for money, squirrel clothing,
headband helmets, and furry insides! i bet u can’t wait! ha-ha! yay for
the awesome book of nothingness! i put the first part of it on the
internet and ppl thought...

17

21 Ways to say I Love You (In Guy's Point of View)

posted by milorox18

21 Ways to Say I Love You

♥

1. Call her the next day.

♥

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

♥

3. Tell her (truthfully) that you can't wait to see her again.

♥

4. Offer her a backrub, without asking for one in return.

♥

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

♥

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she's sick.

♥

7. Write her a poem.

♥

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

♥

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

♥

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.

♥

11. Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet.

♥

12. Kiss her in the middle...

T.P.E's Pro Skillz

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The Perfect Boy

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Randumm shizz

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8

131 Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter

posted by Thecharliejay

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox...

3

what women should tell men...but don't

posted by bubbletl

What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you...

5

Respectfully Cheating

posted by karpach_14

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me!...

5

ABC's of ex girlfriends

posted by karpach_14

A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...

1

My Job Sucks

posted by smileypop9

I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can you guess whose and what job it is?

You think your job sucks? Let me tell you about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The next chick is exactly the opposite- she might even...

1

The Shaggy Dogs Theme

posted by coolkatstar

I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" or "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too." Then I said "But this is a dog". He said he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for...

1

Calliope Channel episode 9

posted by invadercalliope

CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can you believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how you respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!

6

Bumble Bee Lyrics

posted by invadercalliope

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what you want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee More than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My heart skips a beat
When you walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with you until the end

I give my heart and my soul to you
To make you see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant you see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what you want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...

2

Calliope Channel episode 4

posted by invadercalliope

CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING YOU 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST STAR IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T YOU EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO YOU BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF OR I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the show earlyer!Bye!
The End

3

InvaderCalliope on a trip to the beach!

posted by invadercalliope

Today i am going to make up a crazy story about me going to the beach!
Characters:
Me::InvaderCalliope*
InvaderGore: *my sister*
Mom: *my mother*
Dad: *My dad*
Brother: *my brother*
Gus: *my ferret*
Time to start!
*At home*
InvaderCalliope:*reading manga*
InvaderGore:*watching tv*
Gus:*sleeping*
Mom:KIDS WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH!
Dad:what about me
Mom:Sorry but your staying home and watching the fish!
Gus:YAY I'M GOING!
InvaderCalliope:Well this will be intresting.
InvaderGore:What are we riding?
Mom:WE ARE GOING BY TRAIN!
Everyone elese:O_O
InvaderCalliope:Why don't we just go by car.
Mom:BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO BYE CAR!
InvaderCalliope: Ok,Ok
On Train
Now at the beach!
InvaderGore:Were finally here!
InvaderCalliope:Let's have some fun!
Gus:YEAH!
The End!

2

a random song

posted by trentgwenfan1

i love cereal yes i do

i love cereal how bout you

coco pufe

ceriose

cookie crisp

wasting cerial is a risk

i love cerial yes i do i love cerial you better to

it is breakfast

most important meal

if you can't have crealeal

do not steal

i love creal yes we do i love ceral you should to

it is healfy

for your brain

for test math and englesh

even frech and science

i love ccerale yes i do

i love crealy how about you

me and my firend made this up what are some random songs you made up plz commet

1

11. SURE things yOU wish yuor boyfriend didnt know about you!!!

posted by neonstars

1.where you keep yOUR diary!!
2.if u r on your peroid or nawt!!
3.Who you talk 2 on the phone
4.THat you are super jelous or other girls (or boys)
5.That you hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up you will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That you have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart you are at fixing things.

GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!

I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!