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14

123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort

posted by xneville_rocksx

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....

4

Random guy and fortune cookie

posted by DxCluvr

Tell me if u think this is funny or not i just want to know. I got bored so i wrote this:

RANDOM GUY AND FORTUNE COOKIE!!!!

Cookie:Would you like to hear your fortune?

Random guy: Uhh sure I guess?

Cookie: Good *cookie stays silent*

Random guy: Uh you gonna tell me my fortune?

Cookie:*comes back down to earth* What?

Random guy: You gonna tell me my fortune or what?!?!?

Cookie:Why the hell would I tell you your fortune?

Random guy: YOU SAID YOU WOULD!!!!

Cookie:Well have you been smoking anything lately, cause clearly I am a cookie and cookies don't talk nor tell people fortunes.

Random guy:0.o But you...

29

Fanpop Deserves more than liars

posted by jedigal1990

ajl's user icon

Hello fellow random fanpopers,
i am writting this to inform you that a certain new fanpoper with the username of ajl has recently claimed she created this spot. She created a question saying that she was the creator of the spot and she created a forum saying that she was the creator and we should respect her wishes and not post twilight stuff. Now you will not be able to find these two contributions why you ask well because when me and BellaCullen96 questioned her about being the spot creator she deleted both. but if you want proof that she said this check out this forum
link
Now you may ask...

12

Funny Quotes

posted by Shelly_McShelly

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen...

8

God hates me

posted by Lola90210

GOD HATES ME

Chapter 1

        God Hates Me.
-ate some fries.
-Went to bed.

Chapter 2

        I am in a better mood today because I did my prayers and God spoke to me and he promised to put me in a group with my friends.
God Loves Me.

Chapter 3

        God must die! He is being so unreasonable!!! I asked him to put me in a group with my friends but does he listen??! No! God is a bitch!
-I'm an emo from now on
-Went to bed

Chapter 4

        God...

11

Abortion

posted by prettystar

Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
Is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with you even though
You can't hear...

2

MonaVie, This is NOT a wine!

posted by rolie1

Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie™ features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature's top superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body's overall health.

The Premier Açai Blend™
MonaVie's delicious blend of body-beneficial fruits is designed to nourish your body with powerful antioxidants and...

11

Ways to Annoy Your Professor

posted by BellaCullen96

Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...

12

Random Jokes

posted by BellaSwan636

I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.

-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down boat in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...

6

The Naughty Builders

posted by Little_Cullen

O.K, so the other day we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, you know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once more at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure by now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!

4

there's something fishy about this...

posted by cheeeese

okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on fanpop for F.S. soo you can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to join F.S. you must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. Tea is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...

22

10 ways to ennoy an older sister

posted by TDIlover226

1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand next to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't you even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, you need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with friends then run up and sit between them and go...

AMAZING Drum Solo!!

added by Heya

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2

Random people

added by shiriny

2

Random

added by BiteMeCullen107

2

Diana Wynne Jones' Quotes:

posted by moodystuff449

Thing are going round and round my head, or maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, or maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal more hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...

7

I Were A Boy (Beyonce) PARODY!

posted by Blackteardrops

*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD

If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would date Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd kiss who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never date a girl
I swear I'd still love men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When you watch a brand new one
I’d invite my friends over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...

2

the funnest article of my articles

posted by Puncky_Girl

brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok you go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door bell rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will you give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...

1

The girl Who could cry wolf

posted by greenstergirl

Chapter one
Okay this is a really random stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, you have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” Said my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...

5

Why you dont get brits drunk

posted by Annacrombie

This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find more crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? You are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...