You Know You’re Obsessed With Rules of Engagement When…
1.    You compare your irritable friends to a bear.
2.    You know that “it’s not a scarf.”
3.    You think that Adam is truly incapable of a “hetero-picture.”
4.    You see a married couple and say “you guys look bummed, what is it (insert number of years here) now?
5.    You know that He Jeff. He eat big steaks. He die young.
6.    You wish that people wouldn’t let kids into fancy hotels, because “the line at the water slide was crazy long!”
7.    You call friends that are bad at golfing “Tiger Always In The Woods.”
8.    You laugh at your own jokes.
9.    Your comeback to #7 is “yeah, well, at least I got to see two squirrels doing it. Squirrel style!”
10.    Your boss says that they get you to lie for them, and you say “happy to do it. See how good I’ve become?”
11.    You have an “infertility idol” in your room.
12.    You keep a lot of treats…ehem…adult snacks…in your house.
13.    You adjust the scale the wrong way…on purpose or by accident!
14.    You finish all sentences with “but it wasn’t!”
I’ll add more as I think of them!