On Valentine's Day, a young couple have a picnic at the park and when they share their first kiss, a Cupid-mask wearing figure shoots two arrows into their butts. The two are sent to the hospital and the police keep an eye out for anyone with arrows. Later on, Mr. Garrison makes out with his boyfriend and is eventually shot by an arrow in the butt by the figure who stands at the window. The police stand all around town keeping an eye out for anyone who looks suspicous. Soon, everyone in town goes to the town hall to complain about being shot in the butt by a cupid-mask wearing maniac. Since Liane Cartman is the only adult who has not found love, the town decides to create a fake man on a piece of cardboard and pretend like Liane is in love with him so the police can catch the Valentine's Day maniac. The plan works as the maniac attempts to shoot Liane in the butt with an arrow, but the police stop them and the maniac is revealed as Grandpa Marsh who has payed online for robotic legs, has never found love, and hates Valentine's Day because of that reason so he wanted to get back at all the horny people of South Park. The police decide to let the incident go which is a punishment for Grandpa Marsh who wanted to get strangled by his roommate in prison. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle begin selling heart shaped cookies in school and make a lot of money. Cartman bribes them with new shoes to allow him in their business and to let him use his "secret" ingredient which is really a pound of fiber for each cookie. Stan and Kyle's customers soon get explosive diarrhea and they are forced to give out free bathroom passes with each cookie to make it fair.