Hi my name is Brittany I am a vitcim of child abuse and I have been for many years.I am posting my story to help stop the silence of this terrifing realitiy.



For as long as I can remember i have been hated by my father and brother.I am the worse tpye of child there is.I have commited the worse crime a child can commit.I killed my mom,she died on the birthing table with me,It is my fault she is gone and my alone.Thats why I am a demon child,my father has called me so many times.

My father has never hesited to raise is fist at me,to make me bleed or to see me cry.My fear was something hew enjoyed seeing.Now I will say this he was hooked on heaevy drugs that and his haterd for me made him do things even the most worse parent wouldnt do.

My brother was more emotionally abusive then physical he would call me names and scare me alot,like after one of dads rages my brother would find me crying and would say its all my fault becuase of mom that I do not deserve to live.That would make me cry and wish to god that he would have taken me instead.

I rememeber once dad had been drinking and I accidently spilled something he got so mad at me that he just started hitting me with a belt and wouldnt stop.I thought he was gonna kill me.When he finally stopped and I was kneeling down crying,he stood up taking his knife and kneeled over me showing how to cut myself he told me it would relieve stress and help cope.That was the only time he ever talked soflty to me.

I remembe the older I got the worse it got,I did fight back and only got hurt more.The times where he would hit me and I would scream and curse him he would only get madder and hit me more,my brother in the background laughing.

I started to beleive them and understand why this hate was so real and it is all my fault if my mom was still here this would never have happened but she wasnt becuase of me,and for that I hate myself.

When I just turned 15 I expirenced something that I will never forget I will carry witth me all my life.I had worked all day in the yard and was hot and wasnt feeling good.I took a cool shower and tried to relax.While I was wrapped in a towel looking at myself in the mirrow.My father walked in he just stared at me.he closed the door behind me and reached to touch me,i slapped his hand which only made him madder.He pushed me aginst the wall and pushed me to the floor curseing me.He layed down on me and started touching me.I was sick the smell of him hes wieght i thought he was gonna crush me.then there was this pain that took my breath away.I couldnt breath he was making noises and moving I felt so sick like I was gonna puke.When he was done he left me there crying and trying to breath I pushed myself up anf I saw on the floor there was a spot of blood.I cried harder I climbed back in the hower and turned it on hot and used a brilio pad and started scrubbing myself until I bleed in places.

My inncoents was taken by a monster and I want it back.

People ask me if I ever ran away.Well yes I did once I ran and was caught I was drug back to that place kicking and screaming hoping someone heard me but no one did.My brother forsed me down ion the floor while my father stood over me,what happened to me was quick and painful but becuase of it now i am not able to have children of my own.My father hit me as hard as he could between the legs with a ballbat.The doctors say that my Overies are both shredded and I am not able to bare children.

I was hit with mulitable abjects anything dad could get his hands on to hit me to show his hate..and you know what?I dont blame him

I am safe now living with a good foster family my brother and dad are in jail.people say now that I am out I should let it go,its not that easy I am haunted by memories and nightmares I fear I will never completely heal to be a good foster child,a good freind,and a good girlfrind.

All the beating,all the abuse,mental,phycail,emotion,sexaull,all becuase of me.Tha fact that I was born and I am responiable for my moms death,a demon child a nothing a no body notihng worth the air I breath.


Please I and shareing my story to help us all to please step forward and stop this silence of child abuse.