The Big Deal: Dance contest, party at Ken’s, sorority dance that Bruce won’t let Jessica go to, Bruce’s birthday party
Synopsis:
The book opens with a dance contest, ‘cause that’s what kids did in the eighties. Jessica and Winston have to go together because they were crowned king and queen at the last dance, and Jessica is not happy about Winston stepping on her feet all night. Bruce cuts in and saves Jessica, and she ditches Winston and goes to Ken’s after-dance party with Bruce. Liz keeps squawking at Jessica to be careful, but Jessica’s been in love with Bruce forever and now that he’s finally noticed her, she’s going to act like a moron to make sure she keeps him. At the party, Bruce unties Jessica’s bikini top while they’re swimming in the lake and Jessica worries that he’s moving too fast, but she still goes off into the woods with him so they can make out. Liz, who has appointed herself protector of her sister’s virginity, finds them and tries to get Jessica away from Bruce, but Jessica tells her to fuck off. After the party, Bruce and Jessica stay out all night long, so of course Liz is up all night worrying.
For some reason, Jessica makes plans with Robin Wilson, a sad fat girl who thinks Jessica is her best friend. Jessica blows her off to hang out with Bruce, so Liz feels bad and invites Robin to come with her to watch the Droids play at some crappy club. The Droids have been approached by some sleazy guy who says he wants to manage the band, and he’s got them playing a bunch of shows to empty clubs. Liz, of course, is covering the whole thing for The Oracle. Liz invites Winston to go along, too, but assures him she’s not trying to set him up with Robin. Jessica, on the other hand, tells Robin that Winston is looking forward to hanging out with her. Everyone has a miserable night. In the end, it turns out this manager guy really just wanted to get into Dana’s pants. That’s right, a grown man going to all that trouble just to spend some time with a high school girl.
Jessica’s relationship with Bruce is turning her into a doormat. She lets him win at tennis, starts running errands for him, changes the way she dresses, neglects her friends, stops going to cheerleading practice. It’s pretty sickening. I thought Jessica was lipstick feminism personified. Meanwhile, Bruce is telling everyone “he’s getting everything he wants out of her. And whenever he wants it, too.” After a few weeks, Bruce starts breaking dates and acting distant.
Bruce tells Jessica he wants to celebrate his upcoming eighteenth birthday with an intimate meal with Jessica at the country club. But really, he’s having a big bash and has invited half the school. Jessica is humiliated when Bruce leaves her alone all night to hang out with everyone else, but placated when he dances the last dance of the night with her. The party moves to Guido’s Pizza Palace, and suddenly Bruce says he has to make a call. When he comes back to the table, he says his grandmother is sick and he has to go home. Liz is suspicious, so she and Todd offer to take Jessica home when Bruce leaves. They drive around for a while, and then Liz pretends she forgot something at the restaurant. When they get back to Guido’s, Bruce is there with some redheaded slut. Jessica shoves pizza in Bruce’s face and dumps soda on his head.
Quotes:
“I want to stay, Bruce. You know that. But I’ve got to get to Russo’s class. He’ll kill me if I cut it.”
“You mean to tell me my girl’s more interested in Mr. Chemistry than in me? What about our chemistry? I thought I knew you better, Jess.”
Oh yeah, he’s a charmer.
She didn’t like the way Bruce was glaring at her, as if she’d committed a cardinal sin by playing her best…Bruce didn’t appear to appreciate her skill, and it was obvious he would be angry at her if she ended up winning…He might even decide she was too aggressive off the court and dump her altogether…During the rest of the match, she handled her racket as if she’d developed a sudden case of tennis elbow…Jessica got the first clue that she’d played it the right way when Bruce jumped the net after the set was over…he kissed her hard on the lips…
He really loves me, Jessica thought wildly…
*gag*
Elizabeth thrust a forkful of salad into her mouth.
God, what an ugly sentence!
“Football bores me. And if you know what’s right for us, you’ll find a way to miss this game.”
And she does it. She misses the game. Ugh.
Jessica and the number 137
She actually doesn’t say it anywhere in this book! It must be because of her Bruce-inspired personality change.
Best outfit: Jessica – “a bright blue, skin-hugging minidress and matching tights”
