SLOTH

'Do you ever get off the couch, sir?
Do you ever get off the couch and stop watching TV?
Do you ever go for a run?
Do you ever simply walk around or exercise outside?
Do you just play video games all day, sir?
Do you even do any work?
Man, you are lazy! '

I would not be surprised if someone
Said this to you, my friend,
For I am the cause of it all.
I am one of the Deadly Sins,
As you humans call me,
For I am what makes people a lazy bum.

I am a daemon from the pits of hell,
As are all my other brothers,
But I must say,
That I am not a sin,
But rather a human instinct.
And it amuses me to see you sit around on the couch,
Getting fatter,
And fatter,
And much unhealthier,
With gaining LDL,
Which your doctors call 'bad cholesterol, '
And with you sleeping all the time,
You just make people angry because you will not
Get up and help.

You see, good sir,
I am the reason
You may have dropped out of high school,
Since you were too lazy
To do your homework
And would have rather hit the booze
Or have done drugs with your buddies instead.

I am the reason you may have been
Taken off the Varsity team,
Because you were either too lazy to exercise
And contribute to the sports team,
Or you may have been too lazy in school,
And decided to get all F's in school.

I am the reason you may not have graduated,
For you took school less seriously than others,
And you did not do your homework,
And you had to take your freshman courses
Over and over again
Just because you failed them;
Yet you could not complete your required classes
In your four years
And the No Child Left Behind Act
Took you out of school,
Without letting you get your diploma.

You blew off school like it was nonsense,
And I laugh at your stupidity,
For you struggle to get your GED to this day.

I am the reason you may have dropped out of college,
For you thought college was too much work,
And decided to blow off the work
And to party all the time,
Getting hangovers every morning,
And failing your classes the next day.
You gave up to studying,
And gave in to me,
Which makes you fail intensively.

I am the reason you did not earn your major,
For you partied too much,
And you felt studying was too much work,
And now I am amused to see that your life
Is a wreck
With you living in a trailer park
Lying on your couch,
Watching your antennae TV
With Dish Network as your supplier,
And you unable to hold a job.

I am the reason you may have lost your job,
For you slacked off too much,
And played games on your computer
Instead of filing reports
Or programming the computer system
That your boss asked you to do.
You would rather play Sudoku
Or check your email
Than do what your boss asks you to do.
You would sleep all the time,
And play Starcraft on your laptop,
And play a little bit of WOW
And Skyrim
Instead of contacting your associates
Internationally.
You made your boss angry,
And he finally had the last straw,
So he decided to fire you,
And now you have no job,
And your life is ruined,
For you cannot find any employment.
It amuses me to see you in this way,
As miserable as you are.

I am also the reason why your marriage crashed,
For whenever you came home,
You would rather lie on the couch
And sleep
Than help your wife with the household chores
Or making dinner
Or helping take care of the kids.
I made you irresponsible,
Making you unreliable with money,
Untrustworthy in your actions,
Lacking in truth-telling,
And making your work ethic horrible.
Your wife cannot stand you anymore,
For you never help with anything,
And cannot ever keep your end of the deal.
You pitiful little thing,
You live your life in misery,
And all I can say is that it amuses me.

I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins,
And if your life has been clean of us,
You better be careful,
For I or one of my brothers may very much
Taint your life,
And we take amusement in your torment.

GLUTTONY

Oh, it looks so yummy!
For it looks so yummy in my tummy!

You have probably heard these words,
For you know what that feeling is,
For it is called hunger.
I am hunger to the extreme;
I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

I make you hungry,
And yet not only hungry,
But famished to insanity.

Hunger is such
A short word for what I do
To you,
For in fact,
It is an understatement
Of what I do to you.

I make you so greedy
When you eat at the dinnertable
That you eat everything in plain sight.
You eat more than you can take,
Just like some of the Israelites did
When they wandered for forty years in the desert
In the Book of Numbers.

I am the reason why
You have a sweet tooth,
Eating dessert after dessert,
Eating chocolate bars,
And chocolate-chip cookies,
And Reese's peanut butter cups by the dozens,
And 100 tons of peanut butter cookie dough,
And 300 lbs. of sugar cookies,
And 70 lbs. of cake,
And Milky Way candy bars,
Along with the 3 Musketeers,
Along with Twix and Snickers and Baby Ruth,
And Payday, as well,
And Starburst,
And Airheads,
And pies after pies,
And long johns,
And pastries,
And danishes, too.
I make you eat cinammon rolls,
And Swiss rolls,
As well,
And ecclaires,
And whatever dessert there is.

I am the reason you gain weight,
For you eat starches,
And candies,
And oily foods,
And pop-tarts for breakfast,
And pop and soda,
All at the same time.

I am amused at how
You are able to gain so much weight.
I am also amused with your high cholesterol,
Which will eventually lead to arteriosclerosis,
And I will be amused to see you get a heart attack, as well.

I am one of your instincts,
So do not fall for me,
Or you will be cursed
For the rest of eternity.

WRATH

I am one of the deadly sins,
For I am the one that makes you feel angry,
And may lead you to do wrongful things.

I blind you,
And mask the truth from you;
I hide your actions,
And make them unaware to you until
You realise what just happened.

I am a curse,
For I blind you from the truth,
And make you unwilling to accept that truth,
Because I am anger,
Which makes your rage come true,
Which brings about your wrath,
Which is my true name,
And with it comes a grudge.

I am a curse,
And you do not want me,
But honestly,
It is fun for me to see
You hurting other people,
Even though you don't intentionally do it,
Or even if you are blinded by the truth.
For I am Wrath,
And I take amusement from your anger,
And the pain you inflict on others,
And I am from the fiery pits of hell.

Beware of your human instincts,
For I am one of them,
And I may show up in your fiery head.

ENVY

I am one of the deadly sins,
Something that will make death come to you
If you should feel me at all.
I am one of your emotions
Something you might not be able to control,
Something that will make you mad
If I were to make you feel it.

I am that feeling of desire,
Which you feel most of all,
That comes with lust,
Comes with materialism,
Comes with things you cannot explain.
I am the thing you will regret,
If you should
Ever
Get
Your
Way.

I am what you call jealousy,
That thing that makes the green-eyed monster,
Or one of them, anyway.
I make you jealous,
For I make you want your best friend's girlfriend,
Make you desire your neighbour's wife,
Making you covet her in every way,
And making your lustful
Dreams come true.

I am the thing that makes you materialistic
Making you covet your neighbour's house,
Coveting the new lawn mower he received,
And the new 3D Tv he got at the store.
I make you covet the new cell phone
Your best friend has,
The new iPhone 4S with Siri on it and everything.
I make you covet your brother's new Lamborghini,
And your father's Chevy Camaro that was redone,
And your uncle's Ford Galaxy 500,
Which are all very appealing to your eyes,
Since you love cars so much.
I make your son covet his best friend's
New WiiU,
And his new Nintendo 3DS
Because he thinks it is so cool.
I make your wife covet her co-worker's Gucci,
The beautiful $500 purse she is not able to afford,
And I make your daughter covet her best friend's
Beautiful prom dress
Because you are not able to afford the beautiful
expensive dress for $2500.

I make you act in jealousy
When your wife is talking to another man,
For you become angry,
And you feel as if you are
Being cockolded.
You will not let a man take a hold of your wife,
And you will not let some buffoon make a fool out of you.
Your wife is beautiful,
And no one can lay eyes on her but you,
And if anyone DOES touch her,
He is in a world of danger.
No one will cross you,
For you know your ground,
And he knows his.
No one flirts with your wife.
After all, I do make you Ernest Hemingway.

I also make you act like Cain
When your brother gets all the attention from your parents,
For you never got anything,
And he always got the praise.
I move you to do evil,
And, yes, I encourage you.
I am your human forethought,
And only you can resist me.

I am envy,
I am a deadly sin,
And you know that,
However, I am just instinct,
Like all of the other sins,
And it amuses me to see you people fall,
For we are the wild beings in the night,
Released from the pits of hell....