Chapter 32: The Truth is often Hard to Take

My new parents and I drove my new grandfather’s Mercedes to my memorial. It was so odd, although I had driven down the same streets in Forks all of my life this was the first time that I truly saw them. My human eyes hadn’t taken in all of the details and I was itching to draw them. I sighed. “What’s wrong, love?” Rosalie asked with her eyes on me in the rearview mirror “I just wish that I had my sketchbook,.” She looked at me sadly, knowing that it was too much of a risk to go to my house and get it. Emmett looked back at me, “On the way home I will stop and get you a new one.” I smiled at him thankful for his thoughtfulness but it wasn’t the same. I laughed to myself as I realized that my 17th birthday was the next day. I wondered silently if that even mattered anymore as I was frozen forever at the age of 16. I couldn’t believe that we were already pulling into the school parking lot, the trip had passed by so quickly. We stepped out of the car, I almost immediately regretted my decision. I looked at Rosalie frantically, “Is this really going to be ok?” She smiled at me comfortingly and placed her arm around me “You look 100% different, no one will know. If anyone says anything to you, you know the drill you are Amorita Cullen. Emmett and I adopted just adopted you. You are here to support your new cousin in her moment of need.” I looked at my new mother, I was impressed at how good she was at thinking on her toes. “Ladies…” Emmett gestured towards us to lead the way. As we walked into the auditorium the first thing that I noticed was the noise. My ears were very sensitive and the sounds that reverberated off of the walls quickly gave me a headache. I wondered if this was how Nessie felt all the time at school. I scanned the crowd and used my keen senses of sight, sound and smell to search for my father and sister I didn’t see them. I sighed unhappily and I could feel my parents exchange apprehensive looks over my head. Mr. Banner came on stage and said that my father couldn’t make it. I felt the sobs raising in my throat Rosalie looked at me worriedly so I tried to contain them, I wanted to stay If I fell apart now I would have to leave Mr. Banner was so thoughtful and said such kind things about me. He truly looked upset. He sent his condolences to my friends and family and then I heard a wrenching sob from the front of the crowd I looked down and saw Jake leading Nessie out, she could barely walk then I saw Seth He looked horrible he was hunched over weeping. I was shocked, I had never seen a guy that upset ever before in my life. I had to go to him, I had to tell them that I was ok Emmett stopped me, “No, Amore, not yet. You will see them tomorrow” I looked around one more time searching frantically hoping to at least find my sister, but to no avail. I felt the sobs rising again. This was way more than I could handle what was I thinking? I was dying inside all over again at the realization that my biological family didn’t care. It was killing me to be away from Seth and now I had a new problem to contend with I noticed a dull ache creeping into my throat. Suddenly all of my classmates smelled differently it was as if a switch had been hit and all I could think of was how thirsty I was. I felt the venom coating my teeth and a low snarl started to combat the sobs in my throat. My parents reacted quickly. Emmett grabbed me and Rosalie opened the door and we ran out so quickly that no one even noticed As soon as we were in the car Rosalie locked all of the doors and Emmett sped off “Babe that isn’t going to help she could rip the door off if she wanted to.” Rosalie turned to me and focused her eyes on me, “Amore listen to me, you need to calm yourself when we get home we will take you hunting. If you act rashly now you will be exposing all of us and endangering us.” I closed my eyes and forced myself to think of something other than the burning pain and alluring smell of human blood that had almost forced me to stage a gigantic massacre at my own memorial service. When I was more focused I looked at my parents in shame, “I am sorry that I let you down.” Emmett looked at me, “You didn’t let us down , and I am impressed that you controlled yourself so well. It was fine.” I was so embarrassed. Rosalie looked at me, “Don’t be upset, I will tell you what this can just be our little secret.” She winked at me and I felt a little better. “Thank you for taking me and for supporting me,” I whispered to them. Emmett was driving this time, he looked into the rearview mirror, “Amore?” I looked up, “Huh?” “I’m sorry that they weren’t there I promise you that I will be there for you more than he was, ok?” I smiled sadly at him and looked out of my window I suddenly remembered how sad Seth looked “Could I possibly see Seth any sooner? He looked awful I just want him to know that I am ok” My parents exchanged a nervous look, and then Rosalie answered. “We’ll see, sweetheart Let’s hunt first and then see how you feel” As she said that the burning in my throat once again became the focus of my attention Luckily we had just pulled into the driveway “You two go ahead, I will catch up” Emmett offered Rosalie took my hand and led me into the woods a big smile on her face. Emmett parked the car and disappeared into the house. “How do you do it?” I asked her nervously. She smiled at me, “It is completely natural, just let your instincts take over. She grabbed my hands and we were flying through the woods. After awhile I heard someone coming after us I froze and listened and crouched waiting to attack. “Amore, no!” Rosalie yelled after me but it as too late I had already sprung in the air and landed on top of…my new father. Emmett cocked his head to the side and looked at me, “we really have to stop meeting like this<” he joked as he gently picked me up off of him and set me down. “I’m sorry,” I said as I looked down. Emmett continued to laugh. “It’s his own fault for sneaking up on you,” Rosalie countered “its ok you were letting your instincts take over. She turned to me seriously, “Do you see why we are nervous about you being around Nessie Seth and Jake so soon?” I nodded slowly “Come on, Emmett waved, “let’s go find our little girl a mountain lion,” he said with a wink. Rosalie tore after him, “Oh no, that is way too dangerous let’s start with a deer.” Emmett looked at her, “you see how strong she is the only one that it will be dangerous for is the mountain lion.” I followed my parents to a clearing when all of a sudden I saw one it was on its haunches licking its paws. Emmett nudged me, “go on, it’s alright we are right here.” I looked at him hesitantly. Rosalie looked on anxiously as he gently pushed me on my way. I walked with such stealth that the beast didn’t hear me until I had already broken its neck. I plunged my teeth into its thick neck and found its jugular. I closed my eyes as the warm blood pulsated into my mouth. Before I knew it, I had emptied the creature of its life source. I stood up and walked back to my parents with a grin on my face. “That’s my girl,” Emmett said, as he put his arm around me. Rosalie smiled, “Amore, you didn’t even get one drop on you, that’s amazing given that it’s your first time”. We continued hunting for awhile longer. My parents had a few deer each and they let me try one. Deer were fast but they were no match for my newly lithe legs. When we were fully satiated we ran back to the house. There was nothing like it, the wind whipped in my face as I tore between the trees I wasn’t worried about crashing into anything I was so graceful for the first time in my entire existence. It was now dark out, the lights were on in almost every room of the house. My grandparents were in the dining room with my Aunt Alice. My Uncle Jasper was on the couch reading the paper while Uncle Edward and Aunt Bella sat at the piano . Everyone looked up as we walked in the door “So, how did it go?” My grandfather asked. I looked down, “Um, they didn’t come”. I felt the eyes of pity that washed over me. My Aunt Bella walked up to me and hugged me, “I’m sorry.” She said. “It’s alright I answered. I’m ok, I have all of you now” I quietly walked into the room and sat down on the couch with Uncle Jasper. He smiled at me. “You really are ok aren’t’ you?” He asked incredulously I thought about it of course I was sad but I was starting to feel a little more in control of my emotions. He smiled at me and handed me the remote. I turned on the TV and stared at it restlessly. He turned to me, “Amore what are you upset about,” I forgot how good he was with emotions. I looked at him sadly, “I miss Seth I really want to see him.” He looked down. I searched the room for my mother. She was at the table with my grandparents and Aunt Alice when I came up they quickly dropped the conversation they had been having. “What is it dear?” My grandmother Esme asked. I turned to Rosalie, “Can I see Seth, please I promise I will be good.” She looked at my Aunt Alice beseechingly but she shook her head, “You know I cannot see anything wolf-y Rose.” I brightened up as I thought of something, “Can I at least call him?” I asked desperately. They thought it over and Rosalie looked at Carlisle. “I don’t see the harm in that,” Carlisle said. I happily picked up the phone and suddenly Aunt Bella appeared at my side and took it from me, “I was caught by surprise and a snarl was emitted form the recesses of my throat. I immediately realized my mistake and covered my mouth with my hand, “I’m sorry” I mumbled. She smiled at me patiently. “It’s ok, I am sorry for startling you, it’s just that it would be better if I called and got him on the phone. I don’t want his mother to pick the phone up for starters and he needs to be warned that you will sound a little differently.” I thought about it for am moment it certainly made sense so I gave in . She quickly dialed the Clearwater’s house. “Sue? Hi it’s Bella, is Seth there? Oh, I see. How is he?” her brow furrowed as se spoke. If my heart was still beating it would have been pounding. “Ok, well can you please have him call me when he gets back. I know it is horrible. Renesmee is devastated as well. Ok Sue thanks you.” Se hung up the phone and looked at me guardedly, “She isn’t sure where he is at the moment. He was very upset after the memorial and took off she hasn’t seen him since.” I felt the panic rise into my voice. “I have to go find him.” My father came into the room, “No, Amore you need to stay here.” My Aunt Bella looked at me reassuringly “I will go and look for him, don’t worry.” All of a sudden there was a crash in the living room and Uncle Edward screamed, “No! I knew it!” He came into the room his eyes flashing. “What is it my love?” Aunt Bella asked him. “It’s Jake and Renesmee.” She looked at him with wide eyes, “What did they do.” He looked at her coldly, “It is more like what did they almost do.” Aunt Bella looked shocked, “They wouldn’t, I will KILL him.” Uncle Edward looked amazed. “Huh??” he was concentrating on something, and then his face took on a shocked expression . “Jacob wouldn’t do it.” “What?” Aunt Bella looked at him in confusion. Uncle Edward looked up with a look of astonishment. “Renesmee was the one who initiated it and he told her no. He wants to marry her first, and do right by her. He doesn’t want to disrespect her, he told her that he has worked hard to earn my trust and he doesn’t want to lose it.” I took in the whole scene and digested the information. I was surprised, I had no idea that Renesmee was that serious to the point where they would be considering the physical aspects. Aunt Bella jumped to her feet, “I’m going to go get her. I will stay at the house with her.” Uncle Edward stopped her, “No, Bella. If we go rushing over there now she will never forgive us. Besides…I trust him.” My mother looked at him as her jaw opened, “You LIKE the dog, don’t you?” she accused. Uncle Edward shrugged, “She could have done worse that’s for sure. I give him a lot of credit, I know how hard it is to resist temptation,” he looked at his wife and they shared a private joke as he kissed her.” I suddenly had a vision of Nessie in Jakes bed and Jake on the couch. It was the next morning and nothing had happened. Essie was embarrassed. I slowly spoke up. “They won’t do anything. Jake is sleeping on the couch and Nessie is in his room”. Everyone looked at me in amazement, especially Alice, “You can see the WOLVES?” she exclaimed, I shrugged. My grandfather looked at me, “It must be because she is so close to Seth. “Seth”, I thought to myself. Suddenly I was surrounded by darkness, I saw a tan wolf sitting in the woods all alone howling. I gasped and looked up, “ I saw Seth he is all alone in the woods he is so sad, please we have to do something.” My Aunt Bella and Uncle Edward looked at me, “We will go find him, don’t worry.” Uncle Edward smiled at me. They walked out the door and I sat down next to my mother. Suddenly there was a sketchpad and charcoal pencils in front of me. I looked up to see Emmett standing there with a smile, “A promise is a promise,” he told me and he walked out of the room. I smiled into the loving faces of my new family and set out to draw them. Instead I drew the girl with the black hair again and that strange guy that she was with. Once more they were standing in the woods embracing each other in the moonlight. My mother looked at my drawing and said, “Well that is you but who is that in the picture, it doesn’t look like Seth.” She was right it wasn’t Seth. I felt dizzy for a moment. My vision about myself had come true would this vision come true as well? Was I not meant to be with Seth after all?