Twilight Series Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what you are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are you afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** you Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in love with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties or she will kidnapp you and force you to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- date a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell you that you smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) You don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did you say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and dogs are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward or Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper or Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would you think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 year old man to be sneaking into an 18 year old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives You Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and Love Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

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A Twilight Diary Part 2

posted by c_j_clark

Edward took the hand in front of him uncertainly and shook it. Damon smirked at him as they both tried to subtly crush each others hand. But neither of them succeeded.
“I’m Edward Cullen, nice to meet you” Edward said through gritted teeth, introducing himself.
“Nice to meet you Edward,” Damon said in a mock politeness. They still had their eyes fixed warily on each other. “So what exactly were you hunting? Because I don’t see a human in sight,” Damon said, glancing around into the surrounding forest.
“I don’t hunt humans. I only hunt animals,” Edward replied smoothly....

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Life after Breaking Dawn Part 10!

posted by smileyfaceddude

Edward

I heard Alice’s thought and was immediately baffled… she then sent another message,
-THEY’RE PLANNING SOMETHING, SOMETHING BIG. RENESMEE IN DANGER!
Anger and, for the first tie for a long time, fear, took over my body and senses, I wanted to go straight to the castle and rip those guys’ heads off!
“I know that look! What wrong?” Jacob demanded, his big warm hand was on my shoulder.
“They’re planning something, something to do with Renesmee…” I informed him. Jacob started shaking, like he always does when he’s very angry, he broke into a run, I caught him immediately,...

Twilight Saga & Stephenie Meyer Rumor round up

posted by Renesmee_XD

By Twilight_News |

So there’s a bunch out there circulating. Here’s what we make of it.

Rumor 1: The Host casting in full swing and Ian Somhalder cast as Ian. Now as much as Alphie would personally love nothing better than to have this be true, at the moment it’s rumor. A number of sources that we checked with were surprised to learn of this because the movie is still actively being developed. What we think sparked this was a German fansite stating Ian would be great for the role combined with a casting website that puts out general information about projects.

Rumor 2: Kristen Stewart is...

Twilight Saga and Stephenie Meyer Rumor Roundup

posted by Hellohoudini

By Twilight_News

So there’s a bunch out there circulating. Here’s what we make of it.

Rumor 1: The Host casting in full swing and Ian Somhalder cast as Ian. Now as much as Alphie would personally love nothing better than to have this be true, at the moment it’s rumor. A number of sources that we checked with were surprised to learn of this because the movie is still actively being developed. What we think sparked this was a German fansite stating Ian would be great for the role combined with a casting website that puts out general information about projects.

Rumor 2: Kristen Stewart is...

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Dreams do come true Chapter 7

posted by Darktimes104

Thanks 4 reading...I was able to post this one earlier than I thought, I got off early...YAY, I get to write(type). :D LOL

Emmett's POV

We continued to sit on the log and wait for the rest of her family to come. I was looking in her eyes listening intently as she told me how and why Carlisle changed Edward, Esme, and her. As I was listening to her story my mind trailed off into another direction. I was thinking how beautiful her eyes are, like pools of gold, I felt as if I would drown from the depths of her eyes.
A rustling of bushes and footsteps on the dead leaves brought my mind back in the...

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The unknown secret - Chapter 3

posted by megan-ox123

I was running, and running but I wasn't fast enough. My legs were aching in agony I felt like I might trip over myself, I didn't know why I was running
or where I was running, I just knew I had to. When I got to a large spot of grass filled with wild flowers and burning sun, I finally knew it was safe to
stop. I looked down, my dark brown hair was curled and shining as It reached down to my waist of a purple and blue dress that I was wearing. Just
short enough to reach my thys. It was absolutely beautiful it sparkled in the sun I didn't want to look away from it but I felt as if I had to, so...

My Moon, My Man. Chapter 4

posted by AnonymousXXX

Previously...
After about 10 minutes in the shower I couldn’t even feel the cut on my head it was strange. When I got out of the shower I put on the clothes Amber and Alice had given me. I looked at myself in the mirror. The cut on my head was almost completely gone. I gasped as I saw this. There was a knock on the door. It was Amber.
“Alana… Is everything alright in there?” she ask
“Y…y-yea.” My voice was shaky. This is too much to handle.”Everything is fine.”
I came out of the bathroom trembling. She came up to me and hugged me.
“I’ll have Carlisle explain everything....

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10 ways to annoy Charlie Swan

posted by emmett

10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan

10. Tell him Bella’s pregnant – but you’re having trouble figuring out who the father is… Bella’s unsure whether it’s Edward, Carlisle, Jacob or Mike.

9. Ask him what Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo means in the phonetic alphabet.

8. Decorate his handcuffs with pink lace and flowers the call the station requesting to speak with Chief Swan Princess.

7. Whenever he is around, narrate all that is happening into the invisible walkie-talkie that’s strapped to your shoulder, speaking only in cop talk.

6. Take his gun and use it in a bank holdup – it will...

Crescent, Chapter One, First Sight.

posted by New_Moon_Master

PREFACE
I could not believe what was happening. It was one thing to be told something, and an entirely differant thing to see it with your own eyes. I stared into his eyes, and he stared back. I was terrified. I had no idea what I looked like, I could think of nothing but the look on his face. It was murderously angry, and...something else which I couldn't place. And though my life was in grave danger, the thoughts that hurt the most were the ones of him...Of never seeing his face again. But the thing that hurt the most was, not the fact that he was about to kill me, but the way he looked at...

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Chris Weitz Reveals 5 'New Moon' Secrets

posted by Alice_Cullen_

In a recent interview with MTV, New Moon director Chris Weitz reveals five secrets about the movie that most fans will either find, hilarious, intriguing, or down right annoying:

Going for the Gold: In "Twilight," RPattz and the rest of his vegetarian vampire cohorts have gold-colored eyes as a result of abstaining from consuming human blood. For "New Moon," the vamps' eyes were clearly more golden. Why'd Weitz have his actors switch to brighter contact lenses?

"It's a more noticeable gold," Weitz said. "I thought that in the first film they hadn't popped quite enough and I wanted to have that...

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A fanfic for those who hated the happily ever after ending (breaking dawn)

posted by jay_teamRenesme

THE SIPPY CUP OF DOOM!

This is my first Fanfic I hope you like it. Before I begin I would like to give the following disclaimer:

I own NOTHING of this story. The Characters setting plot and anything else I forget to mention I hereby give fully to Stephanie Meyer. I do this with the intent to not interfere with her ability to continue the stories I love. If I in any way come up with something she was going to use in any way then i differ to her as the original artist and creator. I am fully willing to put this in writing apon request. I do take responsability for creating the story but she can...

Alice and Jasper part 2

posted by kiwi12

Alice

I led him deeper into the forest. I knew what I was doing. I'd learned how to hunt animals by watching the Cullens. I'd practiced until I was confident and graceful. I'd even caught an eagle last week. He followed me without a word. He trusted me completely. Come to think of it, I trusted him too. Even taking into account watching Jasper's future, I really didn't know him much. I wondered how to explain the hunting of animals. I waited until we were fairly far in.

As I turned to face him, I found it difficult to focus. He was tall and lean. I felt the urge to run my fingers through his...

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My true Love Chapter 14. Nessies point of veiw.

posted by Twilightsauce

Hola!
Sorry this chapter has taken so long -my computer brok so I had to re write it!!!- but enjoy!
Amber

Running, breathing, living, hunting, fighting and Jake. These were the only five words running through my head right now. We hadn’t been running long and I was still at the front of the circle with Jake. As we ran I could almost smell the danger approaching us. I knew that the others were trying not to show their anxiety around me but I knew that these newborns weren’t as new any more and were becoming better fighters by the day.
“Stop,” I herd Alice call from behind me, “The newborns...

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Wolf Brothers Chapter Twelve

posted by She_wolf

Long time since I posted on here... feels like it anyway lol. Enjoy! ♥

Chapter Tweleve

I really didn’t want to fight Jake, but the way his whole body was convulsing, it looked like he would be fighting me anyway. I’d never seen him lose his normally steel like self-control. He took a half step towards me, and then rocked back on his heel, like he was undecided.
“I don’t know…” He mumbled. But the decision was made for him. We both heard the sound of light footsteps coming from the hallway, and the quiet thump-thump of a heart. Jake froze, his head tilted sideways, towards the...

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Juliet part 15

posted by kiwi12

part 15

Jacob was pulling Seth into another room. Edward trailed behind them. The wolves explained to me the Alpha command. The double voice of the Alpha (leader of the pack) had the power to make the pack obey. When Jacob, Seth and Edward reentered the room, Seth seemed to be trying not to stare at me. It was evidently a difficult task. The wolves began to seem on edge.

Like a lightning bolt, Jasper ran to one of the wolves and placed a hand on his shoulder. The wolf soon dropped. Soon, Jasper was doing the same thing to the confused wolves left and right, two at a time. Edward obviously understood...

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New Moon, chapter thirteen, New. Part three.

posted by New_Moon_Master

Told you so. Alice thought in an incrediblly immature tone. My visions are not wrong... her thought faded out in the middle. Well, sometimes I misinterpret, but that was only because of those stupid DOGS. she rushed to defend her visions, though I had not spoken. She was sitting next to me on the front porch step. I turned to glare at her.
"And what if I had been right?" I shot back at her. "What if Bella had lost her soul? You think I would be okay with that? Of course I would have stayed with her, but it would not have been right to trade her soul for my happiness." I scolded her. She seemed...

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Second Volume of 'New Moon' Soundtrack Coming Soon

posted by Alice_Cullen_

Add this to your list of things to look forward to in March! There will be a second volume, Twilight Saga: New Moon soundtrack CD/DVD companion being released on March 16th, four days before the release of New Moon on DVD.

Tommy2.net reports that the second volume will be composed of 9 bonus tracks that were found on the iTunes and international editions:

1. Lupe Fiasco – Solar Midnite
2. The Magic Numbers – All I Believe In
3. APM Orchestra – Die Fledermaus – Duettino: Ach, ich darf nicht hin zu dir
4. Eskimo Joe – Thunderclap
5. BB Brunes – Cavalier Noir
6. No Way Out – Sed
7. Ximena...

3

Wolf Brothers Chapter Eight

posted by She_wolf

short chapter soz

Chapter Eight (enjoy + comment/rate!)

I wondered idly what the headline of my death would be, as I rode up the winding path to the cliffs. I knew Jared would try to stop me, if he could get away from Collin and Sam that was. I smiled, that was impossible, expect if you were Leah.
I left my bike half way up and went to search for a suitable large rock. There were a lot of contenders, but none of them were big enough. I wanted one so big that there was no chance of me chickening out.
I found a massive boulder that I could only just lift. I carried it out to the clearing around...

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My True Love Chapter 5. Nessies point of veiw.

posted by Twilightsauce

I am sorry the chapters are so short, I will try to make them longer. Thankz for reading, I hope you enjoy.

“We ran as fast as we could but they had a car waiting on the highway. We know who it is and so dose Nessie!” Alice exclaimed in a high pitched voice handing me a crumpled branch. I sniffed it delicately. Everybody held their breath awaiting my reaction.
All of my memories came flooding back to me as I arched my back and flipped back into a low crouch feeling a sudden burst of energy. I knew this scent; it was Nahul’s the only half vampire half human boy in existence.
“How could...

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New Moon, chapter eleven, Clarifications.

posted by New_Moon_Master

I sighed. This was going to take a while, and I didn't feel up for it. I was exausted. Obviously I hadn't gotten much sleep last night...
But I did feel really bad, too. Poor Alice. She must have thought that...but I couldn't think about that any more than I had to.
"Oh. I'm sorry Alice...I understand how that must have loooked, but..." I paused. "that's obviously not what happpened." I whispered.
"Bella, please. Just say it. I have no idea what happened, and do you know how insane that's driving me?" She asked, and it was true, there was mad curiousity in her eyes.
"Okay, well..." I started....