Why He’s Hot:
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampires are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and you love him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. You see Robert is instructing you and you’re loving every minute of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite you over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds more like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). You can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. You sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told you that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
You can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampires are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and you love him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. You see Robert is instructing you and you’re loving every minute of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite you over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds more like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). You can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. You sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told you that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
You can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
